


The Marauders, Mapped

by timeturners



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Era, Long, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Mystery, POV Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin-centric, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Teenage Drama, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-09-16 22:25:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 105,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16962630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeturners/pseuds/timeturners
Summary: Remus Lupin has never had a friend before. And he hopes to keep it that way.An account of the Marauders' journey through Hogwarts and the trials and tribulations they have to face, full of adventure, mystery, love, friendship, dragons, rabbits, and incomplete homework. Remus-centric.





	1. First Year: Too Small To Call Cosy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So if you've noticed, I've decided to rewrite one of my older stories that I really liked. If you're new, please refrain from reading the old one because the writing/pacing/plot is not very good and I hope to make it better! Thank you :) <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long time ago, the forest was part of a larger one called the Wandering Woods, but the trees had long since lost their locomotive abilities and now stood still.

**1\. Remus Lupin and the Secret Dragon**

 

— CHAPTER ONE —

**_Too Small To Call Cosy_ **

 

Remus Lupin lived in a tiny, too-small-to-call-cosy cottage nestled in the shadows of trees, bent over like the backs of old men. A long time ago, the forest was part of a larger one called the Wandering Woods, but the trees had long since lost their locomotive abilities and stood stationary. Still magical, but looking normal – hidden in plain sight, just like Remus and his family.

In fact, Lyall Lupin, Remus's stern-faced, unforgiving father, had chosen this hidden spot in the British countryside so nobody would ever find them–specifically  _Remus_.

Remus was seated at his dining table in the kitchen, which was compact and barely had enough room for a table, sink, stove and a tiny refrigerator. While most eleven-year-old boys were probably out playing with one another, Remus was only allowed to stay inside and do the homework set by his father.

“You will never be able to learn about the magical world properly,” his father had told him harshly, “because you are not a normal wizard boy. Nobody will let a … a  _lycanthrope_  into their school,  _especially_ not Hogwarts.”

“Then why do I have to learn about all this then?” asked Remus, gesturing to papers about wizarding law, textbooks on how to cast charms. “What's the point?”

“Because,” his father said, kindlier this time, but still firmly, “there might come a day when you have to put this knowledge to use. Hopefully it will never come, but you can never be too safe.”

 _You can never be too safe_ was something Remus heard a lot from his father.

And so he was home-schooled, because who knew what could happen if Remus went outside. The Ministry, which Remus's father always said with disdain, could find him; or worse, Remus could transform and, God forbid, harm people; or, the worst possible situation, like that fateful six years ago a horrible, filthy  _werewolf_ could find them on the night when the moon was fullest and–

Yes, it was far better for everybody involved if Remus was locked inside his tiny, too-small-to-call-cosy cottage.

However, staring out the little window (everything in this house was miniature), he couldn't help but feel a little wistful at the meadow and sunset. Perhaps in another, werewolf-less life, he'd be playing outside with other boys his age. Sighing, he peered back at his work, a comparative essay distinguishing between pixies and nixies.

His stupor was interrupted by two firm knocks at the door, a pause, then three more. This was their code, to make sure only family members were allowed in. Remus perked up and jumped from his seat. It was his father, returning from work. Remus quickly undid the lock on the door and let his father in.

“Hello, dad!” said Remus.

“Good afternoon,” Lyall Lupin replied shortly and walked in, shouldering past Remus. Remus's enthusiasm only faltered a little.

Lyall Lupin was a very tall, lanky wizard with greying hair and a thick moustache. He looked eternally tired and world-worn. He dropped his heavy suitcase in the kitchen as he struggled to move around in the too-small-to-call-cosy house.

“How was work?” asked Remus excitedly. “Did you see any new magical creatures?”

“Not any new ones,” his father said. “But I saw another boggart.”

“That's cool! We haven't learnt what boggarts are yet.”

His father finally smiled and reached over to ruffle Remus's head. “Maybe we can learn about it together tomorrow.” Remus nodded eagerly. “But, Remus, you know what tonight is,” Lyall said, looking down at Remus appraisingly.

He shuddered. He had put off thinking about it the entire day, but his father was right. Tonight was a full moon which would mean Remus would turn into … into a horrible monster. Remus's father would lock him inside a magical shack a little deeper in the Wandering Woods, and cast Silencing Charms for the night to come. Remus hated it,  _hated_ it.

“Get ready,” Lyall said.

The day after was always worse than the night of the full moon.

Remus's body ached all over, and if he shifted just a little he felt pain shoot through his body. The metallic shack he was inside allowed no sunlight to enter, and barely any air too. It was for his, and everybody else's, protection, of course.

Certainly, he had cut himself again – he felt it. He craned his neck just a little to peer over his shoulder and he thought he saw a pale pink slash across his pale, thin back, which was already fading to silvery white. Good.

“Mum…” Remus whined. Normally she'd have been here by now. Remus was in a lot of pain – this month had been a bad way – and he could not move himself. All he could do was lean against the wall of the shack, wincing, and wait.

After what seemed like half an hour, the lock on the shack vibrated as someone hurriedly tried to open the door, and his mother Hope rushed inside. Sunlight flooded the enclosure. Hope was much prettier than his father was handsome – and, most times, much kinder too. However, today, the delicate features on her face were contorted into a worried expression.

“Remus,” she hissed at him. “We have to hurry.”

Even in his disoriented state, he could tell that something was wrong.

“Mum, what happened?” he groaned.

“No time to talk,” she said, ushering him up. He saw his leg – there was another fresh cut as well that he hadn't noticed. “I'm sorry sweetie, I have to clean your wounds later. Let's quickly get home.”

And so, with his mother's aid, Remus stumbled out of the awful shack and along the footpath that winded through the Wandering Woods. Indents in the ground of where the trees had once used their roots to walk were visible all along the forest floor. Now all the trees were silent and dead, and the only sounds were Remus and his mother's panting.

Normally the trip from the shack back to his house provided some very needed solace after the full moon. He would usually take in the beautiful ancient trees and their curling branches, and let the sunlight sink in and warm his body. However, none of that could happen now as they struggled to run home.

“ _Remus_ ,” she said shrilly to him as they staggered at an incredibly slow rate. “Hurry.”

It wasn't long before their too-small-to-call-cosy house was in sight. His mother led him behind a tree with a particularly large trunk and she peered for a few tense moments before saying, “Okay, it's clear. Quickly, sweetie.”

Remus had absolutely no idea what was happening. He was confused, and stressed, but he trusted his parents more than anything. So together they hobbled, Remus's leg hurting more and more as they went further and further.

His mother's head kept darting back and forth, looking for an unseen enemy. Remus half-expected a werewolf to leap from the bushes and consume them with the way his mother was acting, but he knew that was impossible. So what could possibly be causing his mother to act this way?

They finally reached the front door, wheezing. Two knocks, then three more. The door whipped open.

“Hurry up,” his father said, and they hobbled inside. Lyall slammed the door shut and, with the wand in hand that Remus so rarely saw, cast a muttered spell on the door. A light shone, and Remus had a distinct impression that the house was a little more protected.

“What happened?” asked Remus again and his father shushed him. Lyall was poised with his wand in hand, staring defiantly at the front door as if something were to burst out any moment.

“We think … we think there is a wizard nearby,” whispered his mother, distressed. “We're not sure … but your father thinks so. But, that's impossible, right?” Now she was directly whispering to Lyall. “You –  _we_ took so many precautions.” She sounded sad.

As if on cue, there were two knocks on the front door, punctuated with a pause, then three more afterwards.

Remus panicked and he saw this reflected in both his parent's eyes. Of course, this was their code. But all three members of their family were inside. Who else would know the code? Unless someone had been observing them all along.

“Good morning!” a cheerful man's voice called from outside. All three Lupins flinched. “I know all of you are home,” the man added after nobody answered.

“Who is it?” bellowed Lyall.

“Albus Dumbledore,” the man called, and his father stiffened. “I'm sure you remember who I am, Lyall? I taught you Transfiguration.”

Remus recognised that as one of the many magical topics Lyall planned to teach him. So, this man was a wizard, and a teacher.

“What do you want from us, sir?” asked Lyall angrily. Personally, Remus felt his father was not being very subtle, but said nothing as he and his mother cowered in the far corner of the kitchen.

“I would like to speak to you and your son,” Albus Dumbledore said. “Particularly regarding his lycanthropy.”

All three Lupins reacted at once. Remus yelped and quickly snapped his hand over his mouth, but the damage was done. Hope whipped her head around to Remus and, panicked, began to shove him upstairs, up to the living room –  _anywhere_ but here. Lyall pointed his wand at the door, shouting an incantation, causing smoke to rise everywhere.

“Run and hide!” Hope told him, so he did just that.

Remus whipped his head around the house, looking desperately for somewhere to hide. Good Godric, someone knew that Remus was a werewolf! They were coming to get him, to kidnap him and lock him far, far away from his family. Hiding was his  _only chance_.

Suddenly the house felt so much smaller than it already was. The bookshelf? No, it couldn't be moved. Underneath the bed? No, it was too low for Remus to fit under.

Downstairs, he heard the rattling of doors, his father shouting, his mother shrieking, and Albus Dumbledore's booming voice. Light exploded, smoke rose up, and he felt the house shake dangerously. Bollocks. Remus skidded out of the upstairs bedroom and into the living room at the same time all the noise stopped.

“Good morning,” a man who could only be Albus Dumbledore said.

Remus yelped again. Remus had not met many people in his eleven years of life, but this was clearly the strangest man he had ever seen. And he had a certain intuition that, even if he had met all the people in the world, this would still be the oddest man to set eyes upon.

Firstly, he was wearing bright purple robes, with a matching hat decorated with silver stars. He had half-moon spectacles resting upon his long, crooked nose, and an incredibly thick, wondrously white beard that was so long it curled twice on the floor. Albus Dumbledore was sitting on Remus's living room floor, cross-legged. He was thoughtfully chewing on something – candy?

“'Mornin',” was all Remus could find the words to say.

His father would've been so mad. What had Lyall taught him about meeting dangerous strangers? He had taught him things, but now Remus struggled to recall anything. He thought his safest bet was to play along with the weird man, and hope for the best. Maybe his parents would come running up soon to save him.

“Oh, goodness, you do not look very well,” Albus Dumbledore said.

He was correct. Remus felt terrible. His leg stung and his back ached and he was bleeding from about three places. All in all, this was shaping up to be a very poor day indeed.

“Do not worry, I will help,” the man said and before Remus could say anything, he waved his long, thin wand in the air. Remus suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted off him. The cut on his leg healed into a silver white scar in an instant. The blood on his body cleaned itself. His back felt much better. Of course, his father had healed him magically before, but never this fast or this properly. Remus felt good. This man was clearly a very skilled wizard.

“Can you … can you make me not a werewolf anymore?” asked Remus eagerly.

Albus Dumbledore shook his head, somewhat sadly. Remus's shoulders dropped immediately. “I'm afraid not. Apologies, Remus. To take your mind off things, care for a game of Gobstones?”

His old, gnarled hands so similar to the trees in the Wandering Woods were splayed open, offering twitching, colourful balls that were not there a second ago. Some of them made squeaky noises.

“I don't know what that is,” Remus said.

“I can teach you.”

Remus screwed up his face in thought, then said, “Okay, sure.” He shyly sat across from Dumbledore and began to play.

Remus was a poor player of Gobstones. Dumbledore was probably playing easily as well, Remus thought. Whenever he lost a point, a magical marble would shoot a putrid liquid at his face and Dumbledore, eyes sparkling, would clean it wish a wave of his wand.

Remus was only on his third turn when his parents came rushing up the stairs, bursting into the room. He missed, and it shot out the rotten liquid again, and Dumbledore swished his wand to clean it off.

Both his parents looked distressed, but Lyall also looked incredibly enraged.

“ _Remus_ ,” Hope yelled.

“Get away from my son!” Lyall demanded, glaring intensely at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore set his wand down and held his hands up passively. “I was not doing anything to harm Remus. We were just playing Gobstones.”

Remus looked at his father and nodded along.

Lyall seethed. “Remus, what did I  _tell_ you about being safe? You–”

“I'm glad that you two are here now, though,” Dumbledore said, suddenly businesslike. He stood, still without his wand, which Remus thought was incredibly brave, but also incredibly stupid. Lyall's wand was still threateningly pointed at Dumbledore's direction. “I would like to talk about Remus's education.”

“His  _what_?” snapped Lyall.

“His education. He will be going to Hogwarts, correct?” Albus Dumbledore asked serenely.

All three Lupins were flabbergasted. Remus frowned. Surely he wasn't going to  _Hogwarts_ , this most legendary wizarding school in Europe. Remus was a  _werewolf_ , a danger to everybody. He would taint the very name of Hogwarts. He was not fit to be around other people.

Hope looked as if she shared this sentiment. “What? H-Hogwarts?” She turned to her husband. “Isn't that the–?”

Lyall nodded firmly, then turned back to Dumbledore. “You are delusional. Remus  _cannot_ go to Hogwarts. You clearly know that Remus is a … he's a – he's … he's a  _werewolf_!”

Remus almost gasped. Lyall  _never_ said that word. That word was equivalent to a curse word in this household.

“How can you offer him an invitation, knowing that he's …  _that_!” Lyall demanded.

“He's a growing, ordinary young boy who deserves a proper wizarding education,” Dumbledore said firmly. Remus was absolutely astonished. Few people stood up to his father, he was told, and he could not believe a man as ridiculous as Albus Dumbledore had the guts.

“He is  _not_ ordinary–”

“He has an illness.” Dumbledore was resolute. “That is the only thing that sets him apart from any other wizard or witch. I do not see why this should hinder his chance of an education. Education is one of the most vital things a child experiences, and I must implore that you consider Remus get access to it.”

Lyall spluttered. “There are children in that castle!  _Children_! Little kids! You cannot let a possible predator around young, innocent children.”

For some reason, that hurt Remus a lot. It cut him on the inside with the same intensity that his werewolf rage cut him on the outside. Remus was innocent  _too_ , right? Remus found himself agreeing more and more with Dumbledore.

“I am aware of that. Safety measures have already been considered and will be set in place. Remus will be safe, and so will everybody else. Hogwarts is not just a  _school_ , it is a home. You, of all people, should know this.” His serious expression softened. “You attended it.”

And for the first time in the entire conversation, and maybe in his whole life, Lyall's face began to soften too.

Then began a long conversation between Lyall and Dumbledore, in which Hope interjected with helpful suggestions. It was lost on Remus, because he could not understand a lot of it, and he only catching some words like, “disease,” “precautionary,” and “controlled environment.”

Remus looked down at his leg, at the jagged scar on his calf. He felt … strange. Hogwarts, huh? That was new, and both exciting and scary. Remus would be entering what he had heard was an enormous castle, with a huge school population, surrounded by students, professors and other strange magical creatures for the first time in his life. This would mean … he had to leave the safety and love of his parent's home. It felt horrible and frightening and he wouldn't know what to do – but he also felt a weird mingling sense of freedom.

Well … the cottage was always too small for him anyway.


	2. First Year: Lyall Lupin's Laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus had never seen so many people in his life.

— CHAPTER TWO —

**_Lyall Lupin's Laws_ **

 

Remus had never seen so many people in one place, except maybe the shopping centres he rarely visited. Platform 9 and ¾ full of chattering wizards and witches holding luggage and trolleys, owls hooting and flying everywhere, and tearful farewells. Remus had never felt so small before.

His father placed a firm hand on Remus’s shoulder. Rather different from all the smiling, happy-crying parents that were hugging and kissing their children goodbye, Lyall was serious and stern. His mother had stayed home, because she was a little afraid of wizardry, even after all those years married to Lyall.

“Do you remember the rules?” he asked, looking down at Remus with stern green eyes. Remus rather thought they were like  _laws_ , with how hard Lyall had stressed them.

Remus nodded. “Of course, dad!”

“Say them for me,” Lyall said quietly.

“Stay silent and be invisible. Talk as little as possible. Avoid answering questions. Don’t let anybody follow you anywhere.” Remus recited, then paused. “And don’t make any friends.”

Lyall nodded, expressionless, and let go of Remus’s shoulder. “Good.” He ruffled Remus’s head, which was as affectionate as Lyall got. “Have fun, all right? Study hard and write to your mother and me lots.”

“Okay.”  Remus nodded once more (nodding was quite a Lupin trait.) “Goodbye dad!” He turned quickly and boarded the train, dragging his light luggage behind him.

As he e felt tears building up, his eyes stinging – but eleven years old was certainly too old to cry in public. Oh, he would miss his mother and father  _so_ dearly. He felt so upset that as soon as he sat down in an empty compartment he felt the tears well up and fall.

“Are you all right?” someone asked. 

Remus looked up. At the door of the compartment was a very smart looking young boy, who looked like he was a first year like Remus. He was wearing a white collared shirt and recently ironed dress pants. In fact, everything about him was picture perfect, from his shiny shoes to his immaculate, curly black hair. His head was held high and he had a very self-assured air about him.

“Uh – yeah, I’m fine,” said Remus quickly, blinking away the tears. Crying would have to wait.

The boy invited himself in ( _Bollocks_ , Remus thought) and whipped out his hand for a handshake, which Remus reluctantly accepted. “I am Sirius Black,” the boy said in a posh accent. “And you are?”

“Remus Lupin,” he said shyly.

For the first time the boy lost his stiff composure and barked with laughter. “ _Remus_? That’s almost as bad of a name as Sirius.”

And for the first time Remus smiled back. A boy his age! Isn’t that what Remus had always wanted?

 _No_ , he told himself. Good Godric, it’d been, what, five minutes? And he had already failed to follow his father’s rules about socialisation and talking to other people. If he got close to people, then they’d start to suspect … then his secret would be out, and who knows what wizards would do when they found out there was a  _beast_ in their midst. No, he had to do something to stop this.

He unzipped his luggage and took out one of his textbooks and began to read, just as Sirius took the seat across from him. Remus could see over his book that Sirius was surprised, and a bit affronted that Remus had suddenly decided to ignore him – and so Sirius sat awkwardly in silence. Remus must have seemed so incredibly rude to Sirius, and he was sorry.

The tension burst as the compartment door rolled open once more. At the door there was not one, but two young boys, who both looked like they were first years as well.

One was tall and lanky, with round glasses and a large smile. He had black hair like Sirius, but the similarities ended there; while Sirius’s every curl was coiffed to perfection, this boy had wild, messy hair that stuck up in every direction imaginable. The boy standing directly next to him was much shorter and pudgier, with a sweet face and a small mouth that was chewing something.

“Hello,” the taller one said cheerfully. “Mind if we sit here, boys?”

Both Sirius and Remus shook their heads and the two other boys sat down.

Remus’s grip on the textbook tightened. More and more people were coming in. First of all, Remus was not used to lots of people, especially not people his age, and had no idea how to act normally. Second of all, his father’s rules were burned into his brain, and he did not like how the universe seemed to be testing his resolve.

“I’m James Potter!” the taller one said, reaching out to Sirius for a friendly handshake that seemed a lot more casual and relaxed than Sirius’s. “And this”–he gestured towards the smaller boy–”is Peter Pettigrew.” Peter squeaked in affirmation.

“Sirius Black,” said Sirius, grinning. He seemed to relax more and more by the minute, now that James and Peter were here. “Be careful,” he said, jerking his head towards Remus. “That one doesn’t talk.”

Remus introduced himself to the two new boys and returned back to reading his book, embarrassed. Goodness, he came across as so rude and antisocial, didn’t he? He pretended not to be listening in on their conversation.

“Black, huh?” James said, in a tone that suggested that the surname  _Black_ implied some intriguing things. Peter looked less intrigued, and more wary. “Are you first year too?”

Sirius nodded.

“Ah, cool, me and Pete too. “So what house do you think you’ll be in?  _I’m_ going to be in Gryffindor,” he answered excitedly, though nobody had asked.

Remus thought he knew what they were talking about. The Hogwarts houses that his father had told him about. His father was in Ravenclaw, whatever that was.

“No doubt you’ll be in Slytherin, like the rest of your family, right?” Peter interjected, and Sirius cast him a dirty look.

Remus was interested. So, James and Peter both didn’t know who Sirius was before, but recognised his surname? Perhaps Sirius was from some famous wizarding family.

“Well, actually…” Sirius said, hesitating. He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Come on, spit it out,” James encouraged, and Peter said, “Yeah! Spit it out!”

“I don’t want to be in Slytherin,” admitted Sirius, as if it was some dark secret. Peter looked surprised, but as he had been the whole time, James looked just the right amount of friendly and encouraging. “I know my entire family has been in it, but … I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll fit. All the Slytherins I know are so mean and …”

“I know exactly what you mean!” James interrupted. “Petey and I were looking for a compartment before, and this mean Slytherin seventh year tried to block us. Even threatened us with her wand.”

“Sounds like my cousin Bellatrix,” Sirius said, scowling. “Let me tell you all about her…”

And then he began to talk all about how terrible his family was. Remus continued to pretend not to listen but was secretly very intrigued. The family did not  _seem_ that bad. Sirius kept complaining about having to go to family dinners and banquets and the like, and Remus deduced that Sirius was quite well off.

The things James and Peter said – such as agreeing about how  _terrible_ formal dinners were – made Remus think they were quite rich too. Remus began to feel self-conscious, alien, like he didn’t belong. He was poor and had no friends and was not socially adept. And, he was secretly a werewolf. Discomfort swirled at the pit of his stomach and, though Sirius, James and Peter were seated close to him, he felt as if he were miles away.

As soon as a prefect knocked on their door to tell them to change into their school robes, Remus darted out towards the bathroom.

As he left, he heard Peter say, “Don’t worry, Sirius. He’ll probably be in Ravenclaw, and you won’t have to worry about him again.”

* 

Remus was feeling quite apprehensive, quite similarly to how he felt hours before the full moon. He stood silently, squeezing his fists, as the other first-years around him whispered enthusiastically. They were about to go through something called  _Sorting_ , Professor McGonagall, a very stern looking, middle-aged witch with a brunette bun pulled tight on her head, had said. They waited in a hall next to the Great Hall. Remus was very,  _very_ scared. He had already seen more people than he ever had today – he wasn’t prepared to stand in front of  _even more_ , and perform a trick, or whatever, to prove himself.

James and Sirius went around joking that they had to battle a dragon, before a girl with words as fiery as her red hair went around correcting them.

“That’s  _not_  true,” she interrupted haughtily. “We have to be Sorted by a magical talking hat. I read about it in  _Hogwarts: A History_.”

“Ah, go away. You’re spoiling the joke,” said Sirius crossly.

“Yeah!” piped up Peter.

“You’re scaring everyone,” the redhead said, scowling. “Be more considerate.”

James butted in. “Whoa, what a big word. Who even are you?”

“I’m Lily,” she announced, her head high. Remus cringed – clearly it was a rhetorical question. Lily was quite the personality. “Who are  _you_?”

“James Potter,” said James, mimicking her high-class, posh accent. (Secretly, Remus thought the accent was  _very_ similar to the one James, Sirius and Peter had.) “ _Pleased_ to make your acquaintance.”

Sirius and Peter laughed, Peter sounding like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard in his life. It was quite funny, Remus had to admit.

Lily crossed her arms and huffed. A boy that Remus had not previously seen before walked in. He put his hand on Lily’s shoulder and asked solemnly, “Are they bothering you?”

James’s eyes sparkled in amusement. “Ooh, is that your  _boyfriend_?” Sirius and Peter hooted with laughter.

Lily ignored them. “Come on Severus.” Severus, to Remus, looked quite angry. His eyes were narrowed into small slits and he and Lily began walking off.

There was already too much tension than Remus could handle watching – he really hoped the rest of the year was not like this.

“Yeah, run along,  _Snivellus_ ,” said James, sticking out his tongue. His friends guffawed again. Remus silently felt bad for Lily and her friend Severus but said nothing. He had to remember his father’s rules – stay silent, be invisible.

That was easy enough, right?

*

The Sorting was the scariest thing Remus had ever experienced in his life. He waited with bated breath with the other first-years as the other students were Sorted into their respective houses – Sirius to Gryffindor, with very light, tense applause; Lily to Gryffindor with uproarious applause. He wondered why Sirius’s Sorting had the reaction it did. Perhaps it had something to do with his family. Really, family seemed like quite an important thing in this new, strange world.

Previously, that strange Hat had formed a mouth with the seam and began to warble a song about the four houses – Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff.

“Lupin, Remus,” called out Professor McGonagall. She was quite a scary looking witch, Remus thought, and thought she was definitely not somebody to cross. However, Sirius and James (and Peter, perhaps) had already gotten in trouble with her for making too much noise.

Remus’s fists clenched. Good Godric, he’d have to go  _up_ and everybody would be staring at him and–

“Calm down, Remus,” he told himself. He gritted his teeth and walked up to the large stage, hearing his footsteps reverberate throughout the Great Hall. “It’ll be okay.”

He sat down at the chair facing the rest of the Great Hall and gulped. Tension coursed through his veins. All eyes were trained on his, staring, waiting for that odd hat to be placed on his head and call out one of those nonsense house names. The Great Hall was … well, great. It was gargantuan. Never had Remus felt smaller. McGonagall carefully lifted the Sorting Hat and placed it on Remus’s head.

“Ah…” drawled a voice that seemed to come from  _inside_ his head. “How interesting … a _werewolf_.”

Remus felt like shouting out in shock. He whipped his head around once, but it seemed like nobody had heard or noticed. Everybody was impassive. In fact, lots of people were beginning to get bored by the Sorting.

“Don’t worry,” the voice snickered. “They can’t hear me. I’m only in your head.”

 _Who are you?_  thought Remus.

“The Sorting Hat,” Remus’s eyes jerked up to look at the brim of the Hat. “I have to be able to read your mind in order to Sort you into the correct house.”

 _Read my mind?_ Remus squirmed in the seat.

“Of course. Now let me look into your mind … I see that you are quite inquisitive, and perceptive, and that you have a thirst for knowledge … you are also quite hard-working, and I can see you are loyal to those whom you are close with … and you could be ambitious if you put your mind to it … but…” the Hat paused. Remus tensed. What? What was it going to say? Was it going to apologise, then tell him he couldn’t possibly be a Hogwarts student because he was a filthy werewolf?

“But, above all I see that you are selfless,” the Hat said, with finality. Remus had very little idea what that entailed. “I can see that you are compassionate, tolerant and have the ability to do the right thing. With your sense of right from wrong, I can see that you would belong best in GRYFFINDOR!”

The last word, rather than echoing in the crevasses of his mind, rang in his ears. A split second after that, the room erupted in applause and cheers, particularly from one of the tables in the middle, lined with people dressed in red and gold on their black robes. He made his way over to the table, registering barely anything, and sat next to Sirius Black because he thought it would be impolite to not do so.

Sirius, strangely enough, looked pale, stiff, and unhappy, rather like how he had before James and Peter had entered his life. Remus felt uncomfortable and the two first-years sat in silence.

The rest of the Sorting continued, both Peter and James joining the Gryffindor table. Peter wiped sweat off his brow and sighed as he lumbered towards the table – “My mum won’t kill me now” – and James looked proud of himself as he sauntered over – “It was bound to happen.”

Lily, across from the table, snorted but nobody except Remus heard her. Lily’s friend Severus was Sorted into Slytherin and made his way to a green and silver table. Lily looked sorely disappointed.

Suddenly, a magical feast materialised on the tables – stews, puddings, chicken drumsticks, salads, food of every kind and shape. Everybody, especially the first years, made sounds of awe. Remus was overwhelmed. His mother’s cooking was great, but this was a whole different level of great. He dug in quickly.

James, Sirius, and Peter began to converse and enjoy themselves and Sirius went back to having fun, which Remus was secretly glad about. However, Remus felt himself awkwardly stuck in between the group of new friends, and was touched when Lily said to him, “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Lily Evans.”

She stuck out a hand across the table, and Remus reached over to give her a handshake. “I’m Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you.”

“Are you Muggleborn too?” asked Lily curiously.

Remus shook his head. “No, my dad’s a wizard.”

She looked embarrassed. “Oh, I just assumed, because…” Because Remus didn’t have any prior friends and wasn’t talking to anyone? Even Lily, a Muggleborn, had her own friend. Remus felt embarrassed too now. Oh, how dearly Remus missed his parents.

Thankfully, the conversation was cut off by someone clearing their throat very loudly. Every student’s head whipped towards the teacher’s table. Remus recognised the man standing at the speaking podium as Albus Dumbledore. He wondered, did Dumbledore make a personal visit to everyone’s house before they went to Hogwarts? Probably not.

“Good evening,” Dumbledore said. Though he wasn’t shouting, his voice seemed to resonate. Perhaps it was magic. “Welcome to Hogwarts, first years, and welcome back to everyone else. I’m sure all your holidays were splendid, and that this year will be one of learning and joy.” Even from so far away, Remus could see the glint in his eye. “As you know, Hogwarts is a place where all of you can learn, enjoy yourselves, and feel safe. I sincerely hope that every single one of you can feel safe and protected when you live within these walls.”

There was muttering and whispering among the older students. “Safe, my left buttocks,” an older Gryffindor student murmured, and titters broke out. This was clearly not something Dumbledore usually said, apparently.

He continued, “Which brings me to my next point. Hogwarts has the greatest security mechanisms of any magical building in Britain, bar Azkaban, Gringotts and the Ministry of Magic. Which is why we have been asked to perform a very important task this year, to protect something very … significant.”

Suddenly Remus’s blood ran cold.  _No_ , it couldn’t be. Surely, Dumbledore wasn’t talking about him, right? 

“Hogwarts has been requested this year to house a creature that many of you associate with danger, death and destruction,” Dumbledore said simply. Remus’s stiffened so hard it hurt. Good Godric! Dumbledore said he would keep it a secret, that Remus’s lycanthropy would only be shared between very few. The entire school was  _not_ a very few! Remus began shaking. The Ministry would find him, they would take him away, he would never see his family again, he would–

“We have been,” Dumbledore said, “asked to house a dragon this year.”

As Remus’s shoulders dropped in relief and he sighed, even more chattering broke out. Lily across from him looked quite worried. 

“A dragon?”

“Is he out of his mind?”

“My mum’s gonna send me home, I just know it.”

“This is so exciting!” James yelled to Peter, who nodded weakly back. 

But Remus’s relief was short lived. As he turned to look at the person sitting beside him, Sirius Black looked back at him, very,  _very_ suspiciously.


	3. First Year: First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Defence Against the Dark Arts was strange. Their teacher, an elderly woman with long, greying hair named Professor Tacey, did not speak.

—CHAPTER THREE—

_**First Day** _

 

“Good evening, Mr Lupin. May I have a word?”

It was Professor McGonagall. Remus jerked back a little in surprise. The first years were in line behind the Gryffindor prefects, who were explaining the house rules of Gryffindor to them.

“Wow, already in trouble and it’s not even the first day!” James said, elbowing him affably. “What’d you do?”

Professor McGonagall gave James and appraising look but said nothing, merely beckoning for Remus to come with her. Thank Godric McGonagall had come to rescue him from James, Peter, and Lily too – they were all far too friendly at the dinner table for Remus’s liking. How was he supposed to follow his father’s rules if they kept asking him what lesson he was most excited for, or which Quidditch team he supported?

At least he didn’t have to worry about Sirius – who Remus sincerely thought hated him. Indeed, Remus glanced back at the line as he walked towards McGonagall, and Sirius frowned suspiciously back at him. Remus quickly turned back.

Together student and teacher walked in silence through the corridors of Hogwarts.

Candles shone orange light on dark walls and moving staircases groaned overhead as they shifted positions. He thought he heard whispers of giggling from ghostly figures and people in paintings snoring as night enveloped the world. Remus was stunned. Much like the Great Hall, the rest of the castle was  _alive_.

“Impressive, isn’t it?” McGonagall said as they walked along a corridor. “I suspect you’ll enjoy your stay very much, Remus.”

Clearly McGonagall knew that Remus was not used to the wizarding world. “Yes, Professor,” he said. “Do the staircases move a lot?”

“Yes,” she bristled. “Quite inconvenient, actually. I have no idea why the founders of Hogwarts thought it was necessary, but so be it.”

“Someone ought to make a map,” Remus offered. “Like a map that changes every time the castle changes.”

“Yes,” she said, sounding amused. “I would be very much impressed if that happened.”

They stopped in front of a wooden door, which McGonagall opened and invited him in. The room was small, but not too small to call cosy. Its plush couches and large windows covered with burgundy curtains were comforting, and a large inviting fireplace crackled. This was quite nice, much nicer than any room inside Remus’s house.

Remus sat on one of the couches and McGonagall sat at her desk. “Now, Mr Lupin. I am very pleased to see that you have been Sorted into Gryffindor, of which I am the Head of House. In fact,” she said, “this will make our meetings far more convenient. Headmaster Dumbledore has told me all about your affliction and we have several safety measures in place. The next full moon happens to be next Wednesday, am I correct?”

Remus nodded. His father had vigorously made him study the patterns of the moon, so much that the next several full moons were ingrained into his memory.

“All right,” she said. “You have Transfiguration, which I teach, before dinner on Wednesday. I will escort you to the infirmary and we will go together with the matron – her name is Madam Pomfrey – and we will take you to where you will be when you … transform.”

Remus couldn’t blame her, but she looked … sad. And uncomfortable. Maybe it was because she, like many other wizards his dad had said, had a prejudice against werewolves (though Remus secretly thought his dad was also part of this group.) Maybe it was because Remus was so pitiful and pathetic that she couldn’t help the twist in her mouth. He realised that she  _had_ to talk to Remus,  _had_ to interact with an evil werewolf because Dumbledore told her to.

Suddenly Remus felt so intrusive, like he wasn’t small anymore – he felt so big and awkward and imposing and like he was trespassing on the perfectness of Hogwarts. The room was still cosy, but it was alien. He did not belong.

“Granted, your dorm mates will have questions about your regular disappearances,” McGonagall said, frowning. She obviously noticed none of Remus’s internal turmoil. “The Headmaster and I were thinking you could tell your dorm mates – if they ask – that you are visiting a sick relative. Is this OK with you?”

Remus nodded. He felt sick himself.

“I think we are done here tonight,” she said finally. “Would you like me to take you back to your dorm room?”

“No, it’s okay,” said Remus quietly. “I was listening to the directions before.”

“All right,” McGonagall said, though she still looked unsatisfied. “Good night, Mr Lupin.”

Remus left hurriedly. He gulped as he walked back the way he came, all alone. Suddenly the candlelight wasn’t warm orange, it was dark, unpleasant red. The people in the paintings were now awake and whispering things about Remus to each other. The dark walls seemed taller than ever. He felt so,  _so_ terrible. How dearly he missed his family.

Gryffindor tower’s spiralling staircase was exhausting to climb up and once Remus reached the top, he felt quite tired. He finally got to the top of the stairs and there was a painting. The portrait was of a heavy-set woman in a fancy, frilly dress. “Password?”

The Head Boy had told them about this, but Remus was still sort of surprised. “Uh –  _Lionheart_.”

The lady nodded, and the painting swung open to reveal that it acted as a door. He walked in, only scarcely registering the empty common room, decorated with blurs of gold and red. Remus felt his legs waver when he finally entered the first-year boy’s dorm room.

The dorm room looked invitingly nice, quite like McGonagall’s office. James and Sirius both looked up from their beds. Okay, so they’d already chosen beds. Great. Peter was not there but, judging by the shower sounds from a room to Remus’s right, he was using the bathroom. Both boys were dressed in pyjamas.

Remus silently walked over to the bed with his luggage on it, a ratty and peeling suitcase. He glanced over at Sirius’s polished, black one with his name monogrammed in silver letters. Sigh.

“Why did McGonagall want to talk to you?” Sirius asked. He was sitting on his bed, his legs dangling off the edge. He seemed curious. Remus looked away.

“Nothing important,” Remus said, who was too tired to think of a lie.

Sirius made a noise, somewhat grumpy, but he did not continue. James cleared his throat and started conversing with Sirius again, excitedly recalling their antics at dinner.

Remus did not bother showering. He just wanted to sleep. He changed into his pyjamas (behind the curtains, of course – he did  _not_ want them to see his scars) and curled into bed. It was comfy, much comfier than his bed at home.

“Goodnight, Remus,” said James cheerily. Remus did not reply, and Sirius grunted disapprovingly again.

*

Remus’s first day of lessons at Hogwarts was much better than he thought it would turn out. Breakfast, of course, was lonely, like all meals were looking out to be. However, the lessons were quite interesting.

Professor McGonagall taught Transfiguration, which Remus knew was the act of magically changing an object to be something else. They didn’t do any Transfiguration themselves, granted, but after a lecture about the importance of being careful when casting magic, McGonagall did a little trick to entertain the class. She turned into a cat! That earned her light applause and awe from the class, and she promised that, if they worked hard enough, some of them might be able to do that too.

“I’m definitely doing that,” James said to Sirius while clapping.

“It looks kind of scary,” said Peter, though nobody had asked.

Professor Flitwick was a small man, whom Remus thought looked quite like those elves that his dad had taught him a lot about. He was quite fun, and had them start straight away looking up the Wand-Lighting Charm. After that, Flitwick let them play games, which Sirius, James, and Peter were overjoyed at. 

Remus instead examined the textbook and, by instinct, touched the wand in his robes. It was the most expensive thing he owned, and the only thing that wasn’t a hand-me-down from Lyall or Hogwarts. Remus, though he hadn’t done any magic with it, treasured it already. He caressed the wood and his finger trailed the bumpiness of it. It belonged to  _him_.

Herbology was taught by Professor Sprout, a portly woman who always had her hands dirty with soil. It seemed interesting, but Remus was scared of the plants that could use their vines to strangle you. History of Magic’s Professor Binns was a ghost, which should’ve meant he was the most exciting teacher, but no – quite the opposite, actually. All he did was jabber on in monotone about his subject, which bored everybody. 

Defence Against the Dark Arts was strange. Their teacher, an elderly woman with long, greying hair named Professor Tacey, did not speak. Remus vaguely remembered Dumbledore announcing that she moved from teaching Care of Magical Creatures to Defence this year. He remembered Tacey waving silently and shortly to the rest of the students, but he had assumed she was just shy. However, she did not speak a word, and instead had instructions on a blackboard written out.  _Read pages 1 to 5 in your textbook_.

Every lesson they had, Remus had sat by himself, or with Peter, but only if they had to sit in two’s. Remus, thought he longed badly to say, “Hi, Sirius, sorry for being so weird yesterday, would you like to be friends?” or, “Morning, Peter, how are you enjoying lessons?” he resigned himself to staying silent and shy.  _It’s what dad would’ve wanted_. 

Potions was taught by a large, walrus-like man named Professor Slughorn who rarely moved from his chair at the front of the classroom. They had to share the class with Slytherin, which James was very clear about his disdain for. Lily, however, was as joyful as James was annoyed.

“Hi, Severus!” she said to that black-haired boy from before as the lesson was beginning and everybody was shuffling in.

Oddly enough, Remus thought he himself looked quite similar to Severus. They were both pale and gangly and quiet and serious.

“’Afternoon, Lily,” Severus said, smiling to reveal yellowing teeth.

“I’m so happy we have Potions together,” she said chattily as they walked into the classroom. “I was telling Marlene and Mary – oh and Dorcas too – about how cool it was – oh, right, you should meet my friends right now! They’ll like you, I’m sure…” 

Slughorn was very cheerful and as he took the register, he often made comments. “Sirius Black!” he called excitedly.

Sirius turned to look at the front, still grinning from a joke James had made. “Here, sir.”

“Ah, Sirius,” Slughorn said disappointedly. “I cannot  _believe_ that you aren’t in Slytherin. I was telling Enid – that’s Professor Tacey to you, apologies – how glum I was to see you join Gryffindor. Oops, no offence to Gryffindor, of course,” he said, giggling good-naturedly at the silent class, “but I was  _so sure_ that another Black would join my ranks. Ah, alas. I have high expectations of you, Mr Black.”

Sirius looked incredibly embarrassed, so embarrassed that Remus wanted to comfort him.

Fascinating. Maybe this was connected to the lukewarm reception Sirius got when he was Sorted last night. Remus mentally took this down.

Slughorn didn’t notice anything off and continued with the register. Something that Remus did  _not_ think would happen was, when, Slughorn reached “Remus Lupin,” he said it in a marvelled sort of way. “Remus, Remus, Remus. I knew your father – Lyall, was it? – very bright man, top of his class for Care of Magical Creatures – however never had the same aptitude for potions. Ministry position and all. I’m sad we don’t correspond anymore. Tell him to catch up sometime, yes?”

Remus nodded, saying nothing. He was surprised. He couldn’t believe it, and it was stupid to only realise this, but his father had had a life before Remus, before werewolves, before Hope. How interesting.

Slughorn also called out Rickard Mulciber, whose elder brother was a professional Quidditch player who gave Slughorn free tickets at every game. He also had a very long spiel when he got to James, who Remus discovered, used to be the owner of a very famous hair potion company. Slughorn was very proud of Mr Potter, but was prouder of himself. “It’s because I taught young Fleamont, see,” Slughorn said, nodding.

Remus sort of liked Slughorn, but sort of didn’t.

The rest of the day he had free – tomorrow evening, he had Astronomy in the highest tower, which sounded kind of cool, but also ate into his sleeping time. Remus did not go out to the great lawn outside and spend time under the cool Autumn sun.

No, Remus went to the library.

The librarian, Madam Pince was an imposing, tall witch with a permanent frown worse than McGonagall’s. She glowered at Remus when he entered. The library was empty enough for Remus to feel at ease. No friendly conversation starters from James, and no suspicious looks from Sirius, thank Godric. The library was a wide place with sturdy wooden bookshelves that touched the ceiling. Some books darted across the room, as students magically summoned them. The librarian was constantly shushing everybody, even when it was very quiet.

Remus walked to the textbooks section, wherein thick books upon thicker books lined the shelves. Remus found a thinner blue book about Charms that looked quite interesting. However, it was the fiction section that Remus was most curious about. He had read Muggle novels, of course, but he had never read wizard fiction before. He picked up  _Life of Lad_  by Edmund Edmend and another one called  _The Sea and Its Song_  by Melody Marin. And then he began to read. He started on  _Enchanted: A History of Charms_ by Sharah Shafiq.

He wasn’t the quickest reader, but as he took in and absorbed every word, he found that time passed by as rapidly as it could. Indeed, Madam Pince had to say, “Boy! It’s time to go back to your dorm,” before he realised how long he had been there.

Remus asked if he could borrow the books, and, very begrudgingly, Madam Pince let him, only after he promised three times that he would not damage, mistreat, mishandle, lose or anything similar to the books, or she would know and punish him severely.

And when he went back to the dorm, the three boys were already asleep, so he didn’t have to talk to them.

Maybe Hogwarts wasn’t that bad, after all.

* 

 

> _Dear Dad,_
> 
> _Hello! Hogwarts is fun – more fun than I’d thought it would be. The lessons are all very fun and interesting and I can’t wait to cast charms. I like all my teachers and they’re all pretty cool, except my Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. She doesn’t talk. Isn’t that weird? Also, my History of Magic teacher is_ SO  _boring! You were way better, dad!_
> 
> _Oh, yeah, the library has so many cool books, I love it!_
> 
> _By the way, my Potions Professor, Slughorn, I think. He says he knows you and he told me to tell you to catch up with him again. Apparently, he knows you. He said you were the best at Care of Magical Creatures in your year. Wow, dad! I knew you were good, but I didn’t know you were_ that  _good! So cool._
> 
> _How’s mum? How’s work? Have the Wandering Woods started moving yet? Ha ha, I’m only kidding._
> 
> _Tomorrow’s the_ you know what _. I’m kind of dreading it because it’s my first time away from home. Hopefully, it’ll be all right. McGonagall – that’s one of my teachers – she’s seems really competent and stuff. I think I’m in good hands._
> 
> _As much fun as I’m having I miss you two terribly!_
> 
> _Sincerely, Remus._

*

 

> _Remus,_
> 
> _That's great._
> 
> _Did you make friends? Has anyone asked anything odd yet? I hope it is no, or I will be very upset._
> 
> _Lyall._


	4. First Year: The Missing Wand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well, if you have to know," said Remus solemnly. "My mother is sick with Inflooenza."
> 
> "No, not Inflooenza," gasped Peter, wiping his forehead.

—CHAPTER FOUR—

**_The Missing Wand_ **

 

Remus was twitchy, twitchier than usual. The full moon’s shadow loomed behind him and, like always, affected him a bit. He noticed things more and was a lot hungrier all the time.

“Wow, Lupin, you’re eating a lot,” noticed James at breakfast. Sirius turned to look. Indeed, Remus was wolfing down more buttered bread and soup than he usually did.

Remus politely said, “Yeah,” and went back to eating. Sirius rolled his eyes and went back to laughing with James.

Lessons were getting more enjoyable, but also harder. In just a week, they were already expected to be able to at least create a small spark with the Wand-Lighting Charm, know how to tell apart a Wiggenweld Potion from an Eye-Opening Tonic, and to know which spots on a Vicious Vine to touch to make it stop being so vicious all the darn time. They also got homework, which James and Sirius bemoaned a lot (meaning Peter bemoaned it quite a bit too.)

Remus found that he didn’t mind so much. After all, what else did he have to do, other than avoid people and read?

After a day of lessons, instead of going to the library, Remus went to the Hospital Wing, like McGonagall had told him to. There, the witch and matron were waiting for him.

“Ah, there you are,” Madam Pomfrey said. Immediately she walked over to him and began  to fuss over him. Remus was surprised. She grabbed his arms and tutted in disapproval. “Oh, you’re such a skinny boy, you need to eat more. Oh, your scars, oh  _no_. It’s okay, I have just the thing that’ll make them disappear a bit, but mind you, not a lot, because magical scars never heal.”

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat. “Poppy. Can this wait until tomorrow? Time is ticking.”

“Of course, of course,” she said quickly, grabbing her things. “Let’s go.”

They moved once night had fallen over Hogwarts. Remus had not yet been outside this late and was surprised by how quiet it was. Many of the lights in the castle were out and Professor McGonagall led them briskly down the dark path out the school, a light glowing at the end of her wand (Probably the Wand-Lighting Charm, Remus noted.)

They hadn’t walked far before they stopped in front of a large tree – a Whomping Willow, related to Wandering Willows, apparently – that had reportedly been planted only this summer. It looked normal enough, but Dumbledore had warned the students that it was dangerous.

“One second,” McGonagall declared and promptly transformed into a cat. Remus was just as surprised and impressed as last time and squinted interestedly in the dark as she slinked through the grass towards the trunk of the tree.

Suddenly the tree came alive, jerking and shaking its branches like limbs, its leaves falling off. Both Remus and Madam Pomfrey yelped in surprise. It much reminded Remus of a Vicious Vine. However, McGonagall’s cat form was small, and she avoided the tree’s dangerous branches and, with her paw, touched a knot in the trunk of the tree. The tree stopped shaking.

She turned back into a human. “Come, quick.”

Remus and Madam Pomfrey approached the tree cautiously, and McGonagall led them into a hidden passageway. The tunnel was dirty and quiet and long, and they walked in silence. Remus gulped. He was scared that they would make him go into a horrible, metal shack like the one his father had made for him.

He was getting itchier and itchier and more and more agitated until they finally stopped at the end of the tunnel and the entrance to … something else.

“Here,” McGonagall said. “This is where you will stay when you transform.”

It was a regular house, albeit old and abandoned. Where the windows and doors used to be were boarded up with thick planks of wood. The walls were dusty and dirty, and there were regular house things like tables, shelves and chairs but they were pushed to the side. Remus could see that there were more rooms to explore, but he didn’t feel like it.

Like everything, this was much fancier than back home.

“Are you … are you sure?” Remus asked. “Doesn’t anyone live here? Won’t I destroy all the tables and stuff?”

McGonagall shook her head. This house was abandoned a long time ago. Don’t worry about any of the furniture. Remus, there is something I would like to tell you about.” A pause. “There is a room, in Hogwarts castle, which is hidden on the highest floor on the leftmost corridor. It is on the wall opposite the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy. If you are in deep desire of something and you walk by it thrice, it will transform into a room that gives you what you desire. I’m telling you this,” she said, “because, just in case Madam Pomfrey and I cannot be there on the full moon, I would like you to use that room – the Room of Requirement – to transform, in order to keep you safe.”

This was a lot of information to process, but Remus took it down mentally. There was a silence as the three of them took in their surroundings.

“Well, we’re going to leave now,” said McGonagall finally. “Madam Pomfrey will be back around sunrise to heal you and hopefully you’re ready for lessons.”

“OK,” Remus said simply, and they left him alone and lonely in the house, waiting for the moon to rise and rip him apart.

*

Remus groaned and tried to sit up, but he felt his arm sting a little with pain, so he just fell back down. “Ow,” he said.

“Oh, don’t you try to move!” called Madam Pomfrey and Remus craned his neck to see her rush over to him. He was in one of the hospital beds in the Hospital Wing. “Goodness, you’re too injured – stay  _down_.

There was a long gash along his forearm that hadn’t been there yesterday. Ouch. However, unlike when he’d wake up in Lyall’s shack back home, the gash seemed to already have closed and was already basically a scab. It had been cleaned and dried. He barely felt the pain.

“How are you feeling, Remus?” asked Madam Pomfrey kindly, but kept talking before he could answer. “I cleaned up the wound on your arm – nasty one, that was – and there’s on your shoulder, but that shouldn’t be a problem. Here, drink this for pain.”

She offered him a glass of something that looked like honey. Remus drunk it – it was quite sweet, like chocolate. Immediately, he felt sort of relieved of pain.

“Wow…” Remus said, genuinely shocked. “I – thank you. So much. For,” – he waved his arms around, causing her to tut – “all of this.”

Madam Pomfrey took the glass away and to a sink to clean it. “No worries, Remus. Stay here for the rest of the day, and you can return to your dorm at night.”

And with that she left, saying that she had to tend to some admin duties.

Sunlight filtered through the gauzy white curtains and the wind made them flutter gently. It was a lovely place, Remus thought as he fell asleep.

*

The next day, he was still exhausted, but felt better than he ever had the day after a full moon. He was so very thankful to Madam Pomfrey. She didn’t treat him like he was some freaky monster, just some student that needed patching up.

During breakfast, Sirius asked loudly, “So Remus. Where were you last night?”

Remus winced, then looked at Sirius. Sirius’s face was defiant – Remus was surprised. It was a  _challenge_. Suddenly Sirius was very annoying, like an annoying pixie that wouldn’t leave Remus’s face no matter how many times he swatted it away. Why was Sirius so angry all the time? Sure, Remus had barely talked to him, but hadn’t Sirius gotten the hint that Remus wasn’t a social guy? Why was he taking it so personally?

He thought about the answer. He saw James glance Remus’s way, but then look away quickly, ever the polite boy. Lily also looked up curiously, and the three girls around her seemed to be listening in.  _Salazar_! This was getting too scary, too many questions. (Remus had opted to not reply to his father’s letter, because there  _were_ a lot of questions.)

What was that lie McGonagall had proposed again?

“Well, if you have to know,” said Remus solemnly. “My mother is sick with Inflooenza. I get special permission to visit her occasionally.”

(Inflooenza had been in one of the books he’d read recently. Remus recalled that it was an ailment that occurred if one travelled by Floo network too frequently, or too far in one sitting. Symptoms were repeated coughing, sneezing, and sometimes death.)

Marlene shrieked.

“ _No_ , not Inflooenza,” gasped Peter, wiping his forehead.

“Mate, I know how that feels,” James said, getting up and putting a surprisingly warm hand on Remus’s shoulder. “My dad had an Inflooenza scare last year after Floo-networking thirty grates. I’m really sorry. Hope she gets through it.”

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Hope it turns out well.” The girls murmured in agreement.

 _Thank Godric_. He had saved himself. He was overjoyed. Dad would be proud.

“Thanks guys,” Remus said, acting sad by hanging his head.

This was the first time he’d talked to the other first years directly. It felt nice to socialise, to feel like this group of people was listening to him and supported him, even if it was under false circumstances. It was like having friends.

 _Don’t make friends_ , his father’s voice said in his brain.  _OK_ , he told the voice, resigned, and he spoke no more.

When he turned to Sirius, the boy was frowning and chewing his lip, as if in deep thought. Sirius looked as if he was brooding, but Remus ignored it.  _That’ll show him_ , Remus thought. Maybe Sirius Black would stop being so nosy now.

The rest of the day went by fine, but Remus was quite tired. In fact, by Defence Against the Dark Arts, Remus was so exhausted he almost fell asleep during another one of Tacey’s lessons. This lesson, the instructions on the board were to practice the Wand-Lighting Charm in order to keep Gytrashes at bay (which they had covered briefly the lesson before.) Tacey sat silently at her desk reading as the students all flicked out their wands to try cast the spell.

Remus was so tired that he just sat in his desk and did nothing. Instead he listened to the people around him. Perhaps this was weird, but Remus was already weird enough.

“Lumos,” said Peter, aggressively shaking his wand. “Lumos. Lumos. Lumos.”

“You need to do it like this, Peter,” Lily said snottily, showing him the delicate swish needed. “Lumos,” she said, performing the movement, and, amazingly enough, a lemon-yellow light sparked at the end of her wand.

Marlene McKinnon, one of Lily’s friends, made an awed sound. She adjusted her large glasses and gaped, trying to imitate what Lily did to no avail.

“Wow, Evans, what a show off,” Mary McDonald, another friend, teased and Lily giggled. Then Dorcas giggled, then Marlene started, and suddenly all the Gryffindor first year girls were laughing. Professor Tacey frowned from her desk but said nothing.

The people around him seemed to be … having fun. Sigh. Friendship was the cure to sadness, Remus reasoned. That must have been why Remus felt so lonely all the time.

“ _Girls_ ,” muttered James. “Am I right, Sirius?”

Sirius nodded, smirking. Then a frown took over his features. “Defence lessons are so boring,” he said (a bit too loudly – Remus hoped Tacey didn’t hear), while waving his wand mindlessly. “Thought they’d be fun – seemed like it, right? But they’re all just  _nothing_.”

James nodded vigorously. “You’re right. We should do something to make it more exciting, yeah?”

“Already did,” Sirius said, his smirk returning. “Hey, Lupin!” he called. “Aren’t you gonna try the spell?”

Remus grumbled. Why was Sirius testing him again? “OK, fine, I will. I’m tired, that’s all.”

James frowned at Sirius. “Give him a break, Black,” James reprimanded quietly, but Remus still heard. “His  _mother_ , remember?”

“Come on, Lupin,” Sirius goaded. “Give it a try.”

Remus felt the annoyance rising back up again. Who was this kid, and why did he feel the need to keep bothering Remus? Fine! He’d give the Wand-Lighting Charm a try, and then show Sirius how  _good_ his wandwork. He’d produce the brightest damn light they’d ever seen.  _First_ , he thought while rummaging through his robe pockets,  _he needed to find his–_

His wand. Where was it?

The annoyance in his body was expelled and replaced with panic. Oh, Godric. Where was it? He began to aggressively shove his hands down his pockets, terrified. No, it wasn’t in that pocket, not in that one, not in that one either –  _where was it_?

“Oh, no.” He immediately went onto his knees, violently anxious and desperately searching the ground. Maybe the wand had fallen out of his pocket? His hands patted everywhere, but there was no wand to be found. His head bumped the top of a desk, but his pain was nothing compared to anxiety about to burst within his chest.

His wand! His prized possession. His  _only_ possession. His link to the magic world – it was missing. It wasn’t in his robes. There was  _nowhere else_ it could possibly be but his robes. Nowhere else, unless…

Suddenly, Remus realised Sirius was laughing. He looked up. From the ground, Sirius seemed incredibly tall, and his grin was so wide as he laughed and laughed at Remus. Peter was snickering too. Even some of the girls, Mary, Dorcas, stopped to watch Remus, and had found it amusing too. Of course, it was sort of amusement.

Remus felt heat rise up his neck – the heat of embarrassment, but also the fire of anger.  _Sirius Black_. Of course he had taken his stupid wand.  _Of course_.

Remus rose. He rose in the most dignified way he could possibly rise after scrambling on his knees for a minute while the rest of the class watched. His anger subsided but the humiliation remained. He walked straight up to Sirius, and said, “Give it back.”

“Give what back?” Sirius asked innocently.

“Please,” Remus added, “give my wand back.”

“I don’t have it,” said Sirius. He looked so smug, so proud of himself. Clearly, he was not going to budge. The rest of the kids silently, passively watched this take place. Remus felt so alone.

Remus felt the tears rise up in him. Oh, no – Remus did  _not_ want to cry in front of all of these people. Quickly, he hurried to Tacey and asked her for permission to use the bathroom and awkwardly passed the other first years as they stared at him. He felt their eyes bore into the back of his neck. Again, he felt so small, so much smaller than stupid Sirius Black, who still had his stupid wand. Above of all, he felt lonely.

Remus was fed up. Never mind what he had said before. Hogwarts was not as good as he had thought, because of his lycanthropy, because of his dad’s rules, because of Sirius Black. He didn’t even have friends.

Remus wanted a friend.

What was that McGonagall had said two nights ago? That there was a room, on the highest floor in the leftmost corridor, that offered what you most desired. Remus had a goal now. No matter how stupid his plan was, he was going to do it. If a magical room that did whatever you want couldn’t offer him a friend, then all hope for Remus was lost.

He got there faster than he thought he would.

The wall opposite the painting of that strange man who was teaching trolls to dance ballet was right there.

Well, it was worth a shot.

 _I want to not be lonely_ , he thought as he crossed the corridor once.

 _I want friends_ , he thought as he crossed the corridor twice. (The man in the painting was looking at himlike  _Remus_ was the weird one.)

 _I want a friend_ , he thought as he crossed the corridor one last time.

Nothing happened. Remus sighed. He must have looked incredibly idiotic, he was skipping class – Good Godric, he was skipping class, that was weird – and he still didn’t have his wand, and he  _still_ didn’t have a friend and–

Suddenly there was a small wooden door there that wasn’t there before. Huh. How strange.

Remus was quite thrilled, but apprehensive. What would lie on the other side of the door. Cautiously, he reached for the door knob and twisted the door open. He was met with the most bizarre sight he had ever seen in his life.

Inside was an enormously high-ceilinged room that couldn’t have possibly fit inside that wall. The room was almost  _too_ white. Rows of shelves upon shelves stood from floor to ceiling, filled with flasks, cauldrons, medicine containers, bottles of tonic, jars of pills. Drawers and desks with open cabinets of bandages, plaster and dressing.  

But most amazingly of all, in the centre of the room, was an enormous, domed, black cage with the sturdiest, thickest bars Remus could imagine. But what was even stranger was what the cage was encircling, entrapping with its coal-black bars.

In its very centre, curled up like Slytherin’s emblem, was a dragon.


	5. First Year: Archimedes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus took one good look at all of that, and promptly ran away.

— CHAPTER FIVE —

_**Archimedes** _

 

 _Holy Helga_. The dragon was admittedly smaller than Remus had thought dragons were – but then again, what did Remus know? It was asleep, its dark, scaly body curled in on itself. Its black scales were jagged and ridged along the beast's back. Its black arms (legs?) were long and tipped with dangerous looking claws. Its stomach was a nice shade of purple. At the end of its curling, winding tail, which whipped gently as the dragon slept, was an arrow-shaped spike that glinted menacingly. Around its thick neck was a collar, with a shiny nametag attached to it, though Remus couldn't read it properly.

“Holy Helga,” Remus said aloud. Too loud, it seemed, because, judging by the now shifting dragon, Remus had disturbed its sleep.

The dragon's body shook and from within its thick neck, a guttural, gurgling noise echoed within the room. Remus stepped back instinctively. Oh no.

The dragon's throat began to glow fiery red and smoke began to billow from the dragon's nostrils. Its limbs shifted and clanged terribly against the cage it was inside of. Its eyes were yet to open.

Remus took one good look at all of that, and promptly ran away.

*

“A dragon, a  _dragon_ ,” Remus muttered to himself. Everybody had thought that Dumbledore was kidding when he'd said that Hogwarts was keeping a dragon, but clearly not! A dragon!

Remus had seen the beast move. Fire, hot flaming fire, was born in its throat and was ready to burst out. Its claws shone like spikes poised for the kill – and did you see that tail? It was dangerous.

That was a monster, and it was in Hogwarts. Dumbledore, undoubtedly, was an idiot. What if the dragon got out?

Remus shuddered. That was enough stress for one day. It was dinner, he guessed, as students were exiting the classrooms in masses, heading for the Great Hall. Well, Remus hardly felt like eating now, so he went up to Gryffindor tower to have an early night's sleep. He closed the curtain of his bed and curled up in the red sheets, sighing. What a day.

By the time his dorm mates came in, he still wasn't asleep yet – he had been mulling over thoughts now. He heard them stumble in, making far too much noise for Remus to sleep, and he continued to think.

“ _Shh_ ,” Remus heard James hissed loudly to Sirius who was laughing with Peter about something. “He's  _asleep_.” That was actually quite a nice thing to do – in fact, Remus had noticed that James was a very good-natured person.

“Oh, whoops,” Peter whispered.

“I'm going to shower,” said Sirius, not making an effort to whisper.  _Tosser_ , Remus thought. He grumbled. Clearly, Sirius was not as good as James.

Remus returned to his thoughts, rolling over in the bed. OK, maybe Remus had overreacted. The dragon had posed no actual threat to Remus, because it had been stuck in that cage. And, the dragon had looked pretty cool, if Remus reconsidered.

 _And_ , he  _had_ asked for a friend, and that's what the magical room had given him.

Ah. It was too scary. Remus couldn't bring himself to go near the cursed room again, or that terrifying beast.

“Hey, Remus?” a voice said from beyond his bed's scarlet curtains, interrupting his daze. Remus jerked up, but pretended to have been asleep, saying nothing. “I know you're awake,” James continued, almost apologetically. “I heard you grumble before – and roll over in bed.”

Remus sighed as he sat up, pulling back the curtains. “Hi James.”

“Hi.” The bespectacled boy looked back at Remus, his face and hair obscured by shadow. However, Remus could see James's downturned eyebrows and his sorry frown. “I came to give you this.”

James's hand brandished a wand – Remus's wand. Remus's eyes widened. It was his wand,  _his_ wand, that he had bought from that odd man's shop in Diagon Alley months ago. Remus's thin fingers reached out and grabbed the wand from James almost hungrily. Admittedly, the wand had not been on his mind the entire evening, because of the dragon, but  _now_  it was so wonderful to be reunited.

Cypress, 10 and a quarter inches, unicorn hair. Those were the features that strange man Ollivander had told him. These had meant nothing to him, but as he stroked the wand, it suddenly meant everything to him.

“Thanks,” Remus said simply.

James's hand waved in the air dismissively, as if he could swat the gratitude away. “No, no – I'm sorry. Can I sit please?”

Remus awkwardly shifted to make room for James to sit on the edge of the bed. The curtains were pulled all the way back now, and he spotted Peter listening in conspicuously. When Peter saw Remus looking, the little boy hurriedly ducked away.

“I'm sorry,” James said again, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn't looking at Remus, but rather at the bed across, Sirius's. “I – I don't know. I guess Sirius isn't that nice sometimes.”

“It's been one week,” Remus reminded James. “You barely know him.”

“I know, I know,” James said, shaking his head. “But … I guess I feel like I already know him pretty well, like we've been mates for ages.”

Suddenly Remus was very jealous, jealous of that bond the two boys had from knowing each other for a week. Godric, that was fast. Remus couldn't dream of becoming friends with someone that fast (let alone even being friends with someone.)

“I know … I know he gets weird sometimes.” James's fingers began to tap lightly on Remus's mattress. “Stuff happens, and I think he takes it out on other people. Like you.”

How vague. Remus was quite impressed by how observant James was, and how quickly James had made that judgement. However, he said nothing.

“I'm not making sense.” James laughed nervously, but Remus secretly thought that he was making a lot of sense. “Sorry, again. G'night Lupin.”

Remus believed that James was not the one to be apologising but remained silent as James left to go to his own bed. What a strange encounter. James apologising on behalf of his friend. Is this what friends did? Ugh. Vigorously, he shook his head as if the thoughts would just eject out of his ear.

Really, the word  _friend_ was staring to make Remus sick. Friends. Friends. Friends. He thought it about so much. It was always on his mind. “Don't make friends.” “I want a friend.” “We've been friends, for like a week.”

If only his father was less strict–

But, no. It was for Remus's own good.

Eventually sleep enveloped his senses, and he stopped thinking about friends, and his lack thereof.

*

A few days later, the first year Gryffindors had Defence Against the Dark Arts first thing in the morning. Nobody had made mention of what had happened  _that_ lesson to Remus, but then again, nobody really talked to Remus anyway. Sirius had not bothered Remus in a while.

Today, they were learning the differences between Gytrash bites, pixie stings, and – Remus winced when he read it on Tacey's blackboard – werewolf bites. There was a section of a chapter dedicated to this, which Remus did not want to read, but guessed he had to.

Again, Tacey sat at her desk, saying nothing. Remus sat and tried to read from his textbook, trying and failing to not observe the rest of the class's conversations.

“Ugh,” Dorcas said to Marlene, pointing at a drawing in the textbook. “That Gytrash is so freaky. Look at it's fur … it's just so  _white_.”

“ _I_ happen to like Gytrashes, because they look like dogs,” Sirius butted in, “and dogs are great.”

“Yeah,” Mary said, and Marlene hummed in agreement. “You're such a wuss, Dorcas.”

“At least you're not like Peter over here,” James said, laughing. “He's scared of  _pixies_.”

The other first years burst into laughter (Tacey frowned) and Peter attempted, flustering, to defend himself: “I was attacked when I was little. I still have the scars!”

Another round of laughter echoed throughout the classroom before – and Remus had felt it coming – Marlene said in a low, stammering voice, “You guys are forgetting  _werewolves_. Those are  _actually_ scary.”

The class murmured in agreement. Remus felt tension harden like stone in his back. His shoulders stiffened.

“My dad's seen –  _and fought_ – a werewolf,” James announced proudly. Everybody let out awed gasps.

He felt like the walls of the classroom were closing in on him. He wanted to disappear so badly.

“No way,” Sirius marvelled. “How is he still alive?”

“My dad's a great wizard,” said James, and Remus thought he saw Lily roll her eyes slightly. “But he said the werewolf was one of the most terrifying things he'd ever seen.” James's voice turned conspiratorial, like he was telling a secret. “It was taller than a man and had sharp claws that almost ripped my dad to shreds. The beast kept coming at my dad and it took  _four wizards_ to make it stop.”

Dorcas made a disgusted noise. Remus was so uncomfortable and so  _terrified_. He fidgeted in his seat but pretended as if he was reading.

“What a monster,” Peter said. “And they let them live among us?”

“Whoa,” said Mary, nudging Marlene. “Just think – someone you know could be an evil  _monster_ , and you wouldn't even know it.”

Remus winced, but thankfully nobody was paying attention to him.

“If I was a werewolf, I think I'd kill myself,” Sirius said suddenly. The class went silent. Remus's fidgeting stopped. Oh, Godric.

Lily gasped, affronted. “Don't say that. That's a terrible thing to say.”

“I would,” Sirius said back to her, defiant. “I don't think I could live with myself. Wouldn't you, James?”

James weighed the question. “I'm not sure, Black. That's hard to think about.”

“I would,” Sirius repeated. The class quickly changed topics and went back to murmuring about banal issues, like who Priscilla Pennybody was dating, or whether Professor Tacey could actually speak or not. Remus felt the weight on his shoulders disappear. Close call.

Remus made a strong effort to stop listening in to the conversation. However, the conversation had made him think.

What words did they use when talking about werewolves? Monster, beast, evil? And what had Remus said about the dragon? The same thing? The dragon hadn't even done anything to Remus, for Slytherin's sake! The conversation, apart from inciting terror within Remus about being potentially discovered, had made him incredibly uncomfortable. Sure, he knew that wizards were not totally in love with the idea of werewolves (for example, his dad), but he hadn't known the extent of their disgust.

He suddenly felt bad for badmouthing the dragon, which he knew was irrational. The dragon didn't care what Remus thought. The dragon couldn't care less whether Remus was rude to it or not.

But, maybe…

Maybe it was a step in the right direction.

Huh.

*

“OK, I'm back,” he told the dragon.

Remus exhaled, sort of stressed. He wiped his sweaty hands on his robes and he looked out again at the sight before him, what he had seen a week prior. The hospital-like shelves of medicines and tonics soaring to the ceiling, all surrounding the sturdy cage not unlike a birdcage in the centre. The dragon was asleep again.

“I have thought about what I'd thought before,” he told the dragon, but quietly, so it wouldn't awaken. “I know it's stupid, but I think I sort of know how you feel. Probably.”

Remus slowly inched his way closer and closer towards the middle of the room, towards the sleeping creature in its cage. Remus reconsidered his previous judgement – the dragon was quite large.

“Or at least how you would feel, if you thought about these things,” Remus amended. Godric, this was a very strange way to spend his time. Why was he here? What was he doing here? Shouldn't he be in the Gryffindor common room, finishing off Transfiguration homework, or in the library reading a book?

Remus stepped over a fallen bottle of Travel Sickness Tonic. The cage, Remus saw as he got closer, was made of a metallic, black substance that glistened from the skylight overhead.

“I don't know where I'm going with this,” Remus admitted, and then decided to sit down. He was perhaps three metres away from the cage, which was pretty close. “I think it'll be nice to have someone to talk to, you know?”

The sleeping dragon shifted slightly. The tag on its collar glinted, finally unobscured by its thick arm. It read  _Archimedes_. What a name.

“Archimedes,” Remus said aloud. “That's an awful name. I have an awful name too. Guess we're pretty similar, right?”

The dragon said nothing back. Remus relaxed in his sitting position.

“Oh – and you're probably wondering, why do I feel like I know how you feel? Well, you see. I'm a werewolf.”

Wow. He had  _never_ said that aloud before. He didn't even think he'd said the W word before. Remus jerked his head to see if anybody was in here that could've heard, but, as expected, he was alone except for the slumbering dragon before him.

Godric, did it feel nice to get that off his chest. Godric, it felt nice to be able to talk, to say more than just polite “Hello's” to James in the morning or Lily in the hallway. Who cares if the dragon couldn't respond back?

This was good for Remus. Remus felt as if the weight on his shoulders was now light as a feather.

His father would be OK with this, right?  _This wasn't making a friend_ , Remus reasoned. This was fine. Plus, Remus would go crazy without some form of interaction.

The dragon Archimedes snored, and from its nostrils a sudden, red burst of flame was issued from its nostrils. Remus yelped in surprise and jerked backwards.

Oh, no, not again. Wrong move. The yelp was loud, loud enough that the dragon Archimedes began to shift aggressively again. More flame and more snake billowed from its nostril. Its limbs spread out and clanged against the black cage. The dragon roared to life, letting out a caterwauling screech. The bars of the cage rattled.

Remus scrambled back, eyes wide open.

Even more terrifying, the dragon shifted its head, groaning, until its brilliant, purple eyes were trained onto Remus. Oh, dear Godric–

The dragon's throat began to blaze a bright orange, and as Archimedes opened its massive jaw, revealing its rows of sharp, jagged teeth, fire burst out in a hot fiery jet. It was coming in Remus's direction!

Remus braced himself, but the heat never came.

Confused, he looked up, and saw an amazing sight. The bars of the cage must've been magical, because they acted as a barrier to the fire. None of the fire could penetrate the cage, as if there was another invisible wall.

Finally, when Archimedes had run out of flame, and only smoke flew out of its gullet, it exhaustedly slumped to the floor again. There was silence.

“Don't worry, I also get pretty mad when I'm a wolf,” said Remus, slowly sitting back down.

And so that was that. Remus kept talking to the unresponsive Archimedes – the dragon had another tantrum, but it was shorter this time – about, well, everything. Mainly about being a werewolf.

It was until Remus realised it was actually quite late that he decided that it was time to go.

“I enjoyed talking to you. Goodbye, Archimedes.” Remus said to the dragon cheerily. “Hmm. Actually, I think I like the name Archie better. Does that sound good?”

The dragon spat a fireball at Remus in response, which Remus took as a yes.

*

> _Dear Dad,_
> 
> _No, I haven't made any friends._  (Not really, at least, Remus thought, as he wrote this down.) _Some weird questions have been asked, but I think I deflected them pretty well._
> 
> _Class is okay. Reading is really fun! But I still miss you lots._
> 
> _I actually have started sort of a hobby, isn't that cool? It's a secret, so I can't tell you, ha, ha! Now I finally have stuff to do other than reading and doing homework._
> 
> _Lots of love,_
> 
> _Remus._

_*_  

> _Dear Remus,_
> 
> _As long as your new hobby doesn't interfere with your secret keeping, I am not concerned._
> 
> _Sincerely,_
> 
> _Lyall._


	6. First Year: An Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You should say sorry out of your own volition, not 'cause someone told you to."
> 
> Sirius laughed, and Remus glanced over, but the long-haired boy was not making fun of Remus. He was genuinely amused. "Vol–what?"
> 
> "Volition." Suddenly he was embarrassed. "I learnt in a book."

— CHAPTER SIX —

**_An Apology_ **

 

Remus decided Archie would also be another secret. Suddenly secret keeping was less like a chore shoved onto him from his dad, but rather, it was exciting. Remus met with a  _dragon_ , everyday. How cool was that? If James and Sirius, both lovers of the exciting, knew, they'd be incredibly jealous.

Remus's secret belonged to him, and him, only.

The pang of loneliness that often hit Remus while he was in Charms class, watching James, Sirius and Peter play games, or when he saw Lily and Severus laugh over a cauldron together during Potions – this feeling was put on hold for now.

Who could be lonely, if they got to see a dragon every single day?

Remus was pondering this lightly, smiling to himself during a lesson, when a sudden sound of glass breaking, then a yelp, jerked him out of his stupor. He was inside the dungeons in his Potions classroom, wherein everybody was trying to brew a Cure for Boils. (“Dorcas Meadowes needs some,” Sirius had snickered, earning him a clap on the head from James.) The classroom was thick with smoke, making Remus cough.

“Merlin's pants!” It was Peter, his Potions partner, who had accidentally knocked off the jar of Flobberworm mucus from their work table.

The jar shattered upon impact with the dungeon floor and the mucus began to ooze out.

“Don't worry. The recipe only asked for a dash of it,” Remus said quickly. He felt other people around them turn to look at them – which he did  _not_ want. James and Sirius were talking to Peter, probably teasing or comforting him. Remus moved to get a dustpan to clean up the mucus, accidentally bumping into Sirius on the way there.

“Oh, sorry,” he said to the black-haired boy, who said nothing back.

Sirius had not talked to Remus ever since that second week of September when he had taken Remus's wand (Remus still gripped onto his wand pretty tight, afraid of it being stolen as a prank again.) In fact, Sirius almost seemed angry at  _Remus_ , pointedly ignoring his existence, shoving past him in the hallways. This made Remus madder – Sirius had no place, no right to be at Remus. Remus had done nothing to him. Stupid Sirius.

“Oops, what a mess,” chortled Slughorn when he had lumbered over to Remus's and Peter's cauldron. Remus thought secretly that the portly Professor could have sounded more upset.

Peter laughed nervously when Remus had finished brushing up all the glass and the mucus. “Thanks Remus.”

Peter was a nice enough guy, Remus had realised over the past month. Much nicer than Sirius, but less friendly than James – which was a good thing. Every Potions lesson where they had to work together, they hardly talked.  _Good._

Their potion was turning out all right. Remus was finding out that he wasn't quite good at the subject, definitely not like Lily or Severus was. And Peter wasn't quite that good either. So Remus was pretty impressed that their Cure for Boils was turning out all right, having a peach coloured tinge just like their copies of  _Magical Drafts and Potions_ said it would at this point in the potion.

Peter, who was still on edge from knocking over the Flobberworm mucus, was on stirring duty. Soon he was stirring a bit too fast.

Severus, at the cauldron to their left, barked with unmistakeable laughter when Peter pushed yet another thing over the edge of their desk.

This time, it was a bottle of Shrake spines, which, as they dropped to the floor began to shake excitedly. Peter made a distressed noise and Remus couldn't help but feel bad for him.

“Sorry Remus,” Peter said, scratching his large blonde head.

“It's fine.”

Remus, sighing, dropped down with Peter to pick up the Shrake spines from the floor. They clattered quickly and erratically in every direction, which was annoying.

James and Sirius, to the right of Remus, were surprisingly quick to defend their friend. “Are you laughing at Pete, Snape?” demanded Sirius, spitting out the Slytherin's name like a curse word.

Severus looked faintly affronted. “No,” he lied.

“Because, if you were,” James added firmly, “that wouldn't be very nice.”

Remus, though he did think it was mean to laugh at Peter, who was a soft person, did not think that James and Sirius were any better. They probably would have guffawed if Severus had dropped something as well. In fact, if  _anyone_ had. The only reason Remus wasn't really was a target for their teasing was because Remus knew James felt sorry for Remus, and didn't want to pick on someone as weak and friendless as Remus. This, for some reason, bothered Remus.

“Why would I care what  _Pettigrew_ does?” Severus said Peter's surname in a similar fashion as Sirius had said his.

Sirius sneered, and James scowled, but before either of them said anything, someone interrupted.

“Leave Severus alone.” Lily had popped out from behind the cauldron she was sharing with Severus, her eyes narrowed.

Remus saw Sirius rolling his eyes. “Don't defend him! He's laughing at Peter. That's bullying.”

“The only bullies I see are you two,” Lily shot back, crossing her arms. Remus thought she looked rather scary, quite like Professor McGonagall when she was reprimanding Sirius and James. “You always find something to rag Severus about.”

“That's not true,” James said.

“It is!” insisted Lily.

“Is not!”

Lily huffed, just as Professor Slughorn waddled his way over to them. “Children, children. What is all this uproar?”

He walked over, examining each of the cauldrons. He praised Lily's and Severus's shared one (“That gorgeous sapphire blue hue, and peach smoke? Perfect.”), hummed satisfactorily at Remus's and Peter's (“Adequate, I daresay.”), and tutted disapprovingly at James's and Sirius's.

“Look here at the instructions,” the Potions Master said jollily. “It says to take the cauldron  _off_ the fire before adding the quills, or … ah, yes. There we go.”

Instead of a peachy pink, their Cure for Boils was bright red, and began to melt the cauldron it was inside of, much to the two boys' horror.

The rest of the class giggled as they frantically tried to clean it up. Professor Slughorn watched for a bit in amusement before helping them out with a wave of his wand.  _Of course, he helps_ them, Remus thought, annoyed.

The lesson ended with Slughorn announcing that next lesson they were attempting the Cure for Boils again, seeing as though hardly anyone had done it well. Great. More potionmaking.

While Lily wasn't looking, Severus smirked at James and Sirius. The two Gryffindors shared a dark look with one another, as if they were scheming.

Remus, not for the first time, thanked Godric that he wasn't friends with those chumps. After the lesson was done, he had a quick dinner. Always in close proximity with James, Sirius, and Peter, he noticed that the former two seemed quite mad. However, Remus thinking about how rude Sirius had been stopped him from caring.

Each day, after dinner was over, instead of going to the Gryffindor common room like his dorm mates did, or to the library to finish homework or read like Remus had previously done, Remus made his way to the seventh floor to the leftmost corridor.

 _I want a friend_.  _I want a friend. I want a friend._

And then the door would materialise. Remus would enter and there Archie would be. Oftentimes, Archie would be asleep, and would stay asleep the entire time Remus was there, but other times, Archie would awaken in a fiery outburst, roaring a reptilian screech and blasting fire at his bars, which seemed to consume the fire.

Archie's outbursts were once terrifying, but as September passed and October took its place, Remus found himself sitting even closer and closer to the cage.

“Hi, Archie,” Remus said that day, bringing in his schoolbag with all his books, quill and ink in it. “How's it going?”

The dragon, shockingly enough, was not asleep, and even more shocking, was not screeching and breathing flame. Instead, he was looking at Remus, with those piercing purple eyes, doing nothing. Perhaps Remus had caught Archie at a good time.

“Oh, wow – okay. Hi.” Remus cautiously made his way to the cage, afraid to anger the dragon. This was amazing.

Archie made a noise, but it wasn't a caterwaul. Just a gentle rumble from his black, thick throat.

“Wanna hear about my day?” Remus asked. Oftentimes Remus would tell Archie about his day, about the new horrible homework Professor McGonagall had given them, or the new argument Lily and James had over dinner. (Really, those two, despite being the friendliest people Remus knew, often butted heads.)

The dragon merely cocked his head to the side, his nametag glistening.

Remus told the dragon all about his day as did his Transfiguration homework – James said hi in the morning, and Sirius said nothing; for breakfast he tried a Wizarding cereal, which protested when Remus had tried to eat it; the full moon was in a few days, so Remus was getting twitchier; and during Potions Sirius, James and Severus had butted heads, which didn't look too good.

“I think they might try to do something to get back at Severus,” Remus thought aloud. “What do you think?”

Archie shifted his black head.

“They're so silly,” Remus said, shaking his head. “They'd get in trouble. But … to stand up to him for their friend … well, that's quite nice, isn't it?”

Archie – and Remus didn't know how he possibly came to that conclusion – seemed to agree. Maybe it was the way his eyes glinted, or the way his claws scratched absent-mindedly at the floor. Whatever it was, Remus felt like Archie was understanding him. This filled Remus with joy.

“Actually … I'm secretly jealous,” Remus admitted. “I wish people – actually, I wish a person – would like me that much, enough to – you know – stand up for me. I think it would be a very nice feeling.”

Archie rumbled again. His purple eyes shone. Remus had combed through several books about dragons in the library, and had discovered that Archie was a Hebridean Black, a species of dragon native to Scotland. He learned that Archie was of one of the most aggressive dragon species ever, which Remus could certainly see from his violent outbursts. Remus made a mental note to continue reading about Hebridean Blacks – hopefully he could find out something about their level of intelligence.

“I'm sure you'd stand up for me,” Remus said, smiling, “if the occasion arose.”

The dragon, obviously, said nothing back.

Suddenly Remus felt sort of stupid, pretending like the dragon could understand him, or cared about Remus at all. Even if dragons could form a bond with people, which Remus sincerely doubted, Remus had visited him for a month and a half. The dragon was probably just bored all day and found Remus to be an interesting thing to look at.

It opened its large maw as if yawning, showing off pointy teeth.

“I should probably go to sleep too,” Remus said, and, picking up all his books, left.

*

Remus was an idiot. He had  _just_ made this potion yesterday – why was he struggling so much today? Maybe it was because Peter wasn't here (he was sick in bed), but he really doubted it because, as much as he thought Peter was a nice person, the Pettigrew boy was pretty incompetent at Potions.

“Six Shrake fangs, handful of snake spines…” Remus muttered as he collected the ingredients at the front of the classroom. “No, no, you idiot, Shrake  _spines_ and snake  _fangs_.” He mentally cursed himself.

By the end of the first part of the potionmaking for the Cure for Boils, Remus's potion was more orange than the pale pink it should've been. He must have forgotten to crush the snake fangs. Dang it.

He noticed that James and Sirius were awfully quiet today. They weren't cracking jokes or trying to hurl mucus into anyone's cauldron, which alerted to Remus automatically that something suspicious was going on.

Remus was one of the last people to reach the end of the first part, where everyone had to wait a while for the potion to brew. In fact, Severus and Lily were already starting on their second part. Remus huffed in annoyance – Godric, he was slow.

“You should've asked me for help,” Lily said kindly as she looked over at Remus's less-than-satisfactory work.

Remus almost barked with laughter. Remus could not imagine reaching out to someone and asking for help. The thought was so absurd. It was so absurd that Remus wondered what it was like but remembered that his father would  _not_ have condoned it.

“It's fine,” he said to her, and, smiling sadly, she went back to talking to Severus.

Just as Remus finished, wiping his sweaty brow due to the heat of the fire, James said, “Professor, may I please use the bathroom?”

Slughorn, it was clear, had certain biases for people in the classroom. For example, he adored James, because James's dad was a famous wizard who created an internationally famous hair care brand. He also liked Sirius, because presumably Sirius's family (which Remus still didn't know everything about) was some ancient wizarding family. And, curiously enough, he had a penchant for Lily, which Remus found odd, given that Lily was Muggleborn and did not have a Ministry officer for an auntie or something.

“Of course, my boy,” he chuckled. “Your potion is looking much better today.”

James left. Now it was just Sirius and Remus alone. There was an awkward silence, as everyone else in the room was talking to their partners – and both of Remus's and Sirius's respective partners weren't present.

“Hi,” Sirius said, finally.

“Hi,” said Remus.

“James told me to apologise for taking your wand.”

Remus blinked. He was not expecting that. He had expected Sirius to make fun of his terrible Cure for Boils potion steaming in front of him. “OK.”

“So … sorry,” Sirius said lamely.

Remus frowned. Annoyance that had been rumbling within him for a month suddenly threatened to boil over into anger. “You're only saying sorry because James said to? Shouldn't you apologise because you – I don't know – felt bad?”

Sirius scowled back. “Does it make a difference?”

“Er – yeah!” What an ignorant boy. “You should say sorry out of your own volition, not 'cause someone told you to.”

Sirius laughed, and Remus glanced over, but the long-haired boy was not making fun of Remus. He was genuinely amused. “Vol–what?”

“Volition.” Suddenly he was embarrassed. Why was he using such big words? He must've looked like such a swot. “It means, like, the power of being able to choose your actions. I learnt in a book.”

“Do you read?” asked Sirius, and Remus nodded. “What book was it?”

“ _The Light at Midnight_.”

“Oh! By Mudalier Mellie, right? I know it, it's a classic.”

Remus blinked, surprised again.

“What, you don't think I read too?” Sirius jeered.

Remus laughed, despite himself. “Sorry, I guess.”

Sirius seemed not to take offence. “By the way–” he hesitated. “Sorry. This time out of my own  _volition_ ,” he said, wiggling his fingers, then laughing. “No, but, I apologise. I … shouldn't have taken your wand. It was a mean prank.” Sirius's way of speech, though juvenile, was so posh and stereotypically British.

Remus realised – oh, Godric. He was talking to someone. He was  _speaking_ with someone. He was, dare he say it, on the way to befriending someone. It felt pretty nice to be able to talk to someone, and for them to talk back, but then he thought about his dad. The thought of Lyall Lupin constantly loomed over him.

Before Remus could respond, he heard a shriek.

“Oh, my God!” It was Lily's voice. A boy's voice shouted in surprise at the same time.

Remus jerked his head to look over. It was Severus, who was gawking at his cauldron. Unlike yesterday's Cure of Boils – pristine, rich blue which emanated rosy smoke – his potion today was blood red – much like Sirius's and James's yesterday. It was hardly a potion, more like a thick paste, and it steamed a horrifyingly pungent odour.

Remus was immediately suspicious. Severus, even though Slughorn liked Lily better, was a stellar potionmaker, the best in the class. James and Sirius  _had_ to have had something to with it.

He looked at Sirius, whose eyes were sparkling with amusement. Definitely.

“Eww,” Mary said, and she and Marlene backed away from the cauldron.

Lily frantically tried to contain the Cure for Boils, which threatened to ooze out from the cauldron. Severus on the other hand did nothing but gape, horrified. The cauldron in question sizzled dangerously, and it began to melt, just like Sirius's had yesterday.

“Ah,” Slughorn said, lumbering past. He was far too casual. “It seems as if you made the same mistakes Mr Potter and Mr Black made yesterday. You must take the cauldron  _off_ the fire before adding the–”

Severus interrupted him, stunned. “I  _swear_ I took the cauldron off! It shouldn't be there, I took it  _off_ –”

“Clearly not,” Slughorn said, a bit colder this time, as he did not like being interrupted. “I'm disappointed Lily, Severus – I expected better from my best students. Please clean the mess up.”

Lily hung her head in shame for a bit, and Remus felt bad for her. Severus, however, balled his fists, and pointed a finger accusingly at Sirius. “You put my cauldron back on the fire, didn't you?” he snapped quietly. “You and Potter.”

Sirius made an overly offended face, and Remus, despite himself, felt like laughing again. “ _Potter_ ,” he said, mocking the way Severus said it, “went to the bathroom. And me? I was over here, talking to Remus the whole time. Wasn't I, Remus?”

Remus shrugged, almost apologetically. It was true. “He was.”

Severus looked quite angry, but not in a enraged, red-faced way. Instead his eyes were narrowed, and he shot the coldest look ever, not only at Sirius, but Remus too, before stomping away. Clearly, the battle between Severus, and James and Sirius was not over.

“Mad, isn't he?” Sirius said, grinning at Remus.

Lily was frantically spelling the Cure for Boils to freeze so it stopped oozing everywhere. Severus furiously threw away the contents of the cauldron until all that was left was a metal, misshapen lump, ruined by the melting. The classroom still smelt terrible.

Very soon after, James waltzed into the classroom. He had taken an awful long time in the “bathroom.”

“What'd I miss?” James said innocently. Grinning, he walked over to Sirius and they exchanged a subtle high-five.

Remus was very curious as to how they could've pulled that stunt. Hmm.

Looking at Sirius, thinking about the conversation they had had right before that – the longest conversation he had ever had at Hogwarts – thinking about how he had let his guard down, had actually somewhat enjoyed being friendly with someone, how Sirius had apologised, how furious Lyall would be if he found out – Remus exhaled, exhausted.

He had a  _lot_ to tell Archie.


	7. First Year: Of Feasts and Beasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus misses the Halloween Feast

— CHAPTER SEVEN —

_**Of Feasts and Beasts** _

 

The Halloween feast had been anticipated highly for the whole month of October.

Remus had read about it somewhere within  _Hogwarts: A History._ (That book had been very thick, and Remus was nowhere near close to finishing it, preferring to finish  _The Moon at Noon_ , the sequel to Mudalier Mallie's  _The Light at Midnight_.)

“My dad says that the gamekeeper – that's Hagrid, that big guy over there – my dad says that he grows the biggest pumpkins just for the meal – humongous ones the size of a cow!” James had said on the way to Astronomy one night.

“That sounds like it'd ruin the meal,” Peter had said worriedly, but nobody listened.

Sirius had nodded. “Oh yeah! Then he decorates the Great Hall with them. My cousin Andromeda said that too.”

“Androme-what?” James had snorted. “Your family has some really awful names.”

That had earned James a punch in the shoulder and the two boys had started to play-fight.

Like everything in Hogwarts, the idea of the feast amazed Remus. He couldn't wait to see what magical decorations would furnish the Great Hall, whether the ghosts would do anything fun. On the days leading up to the celebration, Remus kept telling Archie how curious he was.

However, a day before the Halloween Feast, the other three Gryffindor boys that Remus roomed with were surprisingly quiet, which Remus took as their excitement dying down. The rest of the castle, though, was brimming with enthusiasm – Lily and a bunch of other girls donned witches' hats for the lessons, Professor Flitwick let them play a game of Leap Chocolate Frog (after they perfected their Singing Charms, of course), and even Professor McGonagall gave them a little less homework than usual.

Then at breakfast on Halloween Day, Remus received a letter, dropped from the ceiling by one of the Hogwarts owls, addressed from his father. It sent him crashing back to reality. Before he opened the letter, thoughts invaded his mind.

 _You're compromising your secret_ , the voice in Remus's head hissed.  _What were the rules again? Repeat them to me._

“Stay silent and be invisible. Talk as little as possible. Avoid answering questions. Don't let anyone follow you anywhere,” Remus recited. “I'm  _doing_ all of them! Why do I have to put myself through even more … pain?”

The voice snarled back,  _You go through all the pain of every full moon – for what? To be exposed? For everyone to find out your secret?_

He recalled a week earlier, when he had let his guard down during Potions, and conversed casually with Sirius, as if they were buddies, mates. Truly, after that Sirius was much friendlier and politer to Remus, which was nice but also completely not what Remus's father would have wanted. What a stupid mistake Remus had made. He shuddered at the table. Suddenly the toast on his plate looked unappetising. He had failed his father. The thoughts hovered above him the entire day.

 _This is my punishment_ , he thought sadly as he avoided the Great Hall once it was dinnertime. No Halloween feast for him. At least he'd be with Archie, right? That was what he had really wanted, correct?

“Oi! You coming, Remus?” asked a voice. Remus whirled around. It was Sirius, waiting expectantly next to a column.

“Nah,” said Remus. “I'm all right. 'Gonna finish some homework.”

“Oh, OK,” Sirius said, the smallest hint of disappointment in his voice. Then he grinned conspiratorially. “Well, you're missing out on something great.”

Remus faked a friendly laugh then left.  _Phew_. He had gotten out of conversation pretty quickly – and in a pretty pleasant manner too. Maybe Remus was getting better at wriggling out of conversations in a politer way than just ignoring the person. However, he still felt a little bad about rejecting Sirius's offer. Sirius was so nice lately –  _ugh_. People were much too nice to Remus, whereas Remus was only really polite to them. Maybe Remus should try to be ruder to people – but of course he couldn't bring himself to.

 _See?_ the little voice in his head said.  _Everything's fine now_.

“It doesn't feel like it,” he snapped.

Sigh. He walked all the way up to the Room of Requirement –  _I want friends, I want friends, I want friends_ –and once again plopped down next to Archie's cage. This time, Archie wasn't in a rage or asleep either, and silently watched Remus, his large scaly head shifting ever so slightly once Remus began to talk.

“I just – I – I don't feel good,” Remus admitted to Archie. “I keep having to do stuff like avoid talking to people. And it makes me feel bad. I don't like it.”

Maybe he cried a little. But at least Archie was there to listen.

*

Breakfast the day after was … odd. Sirius, James, and Peter were all grinning,  _glowing_ , as they ate. They kept whispering to one another, then breaking out into giggles. When Mary walked up to the Gryffindor table, sitting opposite Remus, she gave James a big clap on the back. The three boys looked so very pleased with themselves.

Remus was dying to know what happened, but he was definitely not going to ask anyone, especially not Lily beside him at the table. She seemed to be finishing off an essay on some parchment. Then, seeing Remus glance at her, folded it closed.

“To the best pranksters Hogwarts will ever see,” James said, colliding his glass of milk with James's and Peter's in a toast.

“We've only pulled one proper one,” Peter said.

“Shut up, Pettigrew,” Sirius said good-naturedly.

Lily rolled her eyes once she heard James laugh, then leaned in to whisper to Remus. “They're such idiots, right?” she said in a low voice.

“Huh?”

“Weren't you at the feast last night?” asked Lily.

Remus shook his head carefully, and after a quick second of suspicion, Lily leaned in again. “Those three  _idiots_ charmed the pumpkins – you know the big ones Hagrid brings in? They charmed them to sing the Hogwarts school song, which Dumbledore liked so much that he let them sing – and then,  _and then_  … a very  _vulgar_ song about Slytherin House.” Remus scoffed, unable to contain his amusement. Lily did not share the sentiment. She continued, “Obviously Dumbledore put a stop to it then, but not before everyone had heard the pumpkins say some very choice words about where Slytherins should stick their wands.”

Remus gaped. The Gryffindors had just learnt Singing Charms last week – how were the three of them capable enough to charm twenty pumpkins to all sing in unison? That was enormously commendable.

“I know!” Lily said, affronted. “They're so stupid.”

Remus was actually surprised because it was such a huge magical feat, but he didn't let Lily know that.  _Ah. That must've been why they were so quiet during the lead up to it._ ”Er – how do you know it was them?”

Lily rolled her eyes and huffed. (This was a very Lily-like trait, Remus had noticed.) “They couldn't stop bragging about it once we got back to the Common Room. You know – Severus  _just_ told me how upset all the Slytherins were because of that awful song.”

“Just then? The Slytherins are all the way over there.”

“Oh,” Lily said. “I mean, he told me before.”

“Oh, OK.” A pause. “Anyway,  _wow_ ,” Remus said, gesturing subtly to the three boys, who were now talking to a fifth year who was congratulating them. “ _They_  did all of  _that_.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Lily said, but she didn't.

Remus was very sorry he had missed the Halloween Feast indeed.

*

“Happy birthday, Sirius!” two voices chanted. This woke Remus up, and he stretched slowly in his curtain-covered bed, listening closely. It was Sirius's birthday? Remus hadn't even known.

Remus heard Sirius's laughter. “Get off me!”

There was scrambling and laughter – Godric, they seemed to be having fun. Remus, upset and jealous, turned over in his bed, covering his ears with his pillow. He wished he could block them out completely.

The full moon was tomorrow, contributing to his heightened emotions. He felt like he was about to break into tears and burst into fiery anger at the same time.

It was indeed Sirius's birthday, and if anyone hadn't already known, they were sure to be made aware of it by James rallying a chorus of people to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Sirius until almost all of the Great Hall was in on it. Remus saw James give Sirius a Quidditch magazine, and Peter hand Sirius a box of lollies. Even Lily offered a kind, “Happy birthday,” to Sirius on the way to Charms. Remus, however, did not approach Sirius, and Sirius, probably distracted by his happy day, did not approach Remus. This was fine, Remus told himself.

They weren't even friends anyway.

Sirius was so darn lucky. His friends loved him so much, Remus could see.  _Sigh_. Like before, the thought of friendship and conversation and love invaded Remus's mind and Remus did everything in his power to kick them out.

Remus was feeling so poorly and so unexplainably upset that, as soon as Double Potions was over, he rushed out of the classroom, bumping into Severus (“Oh, sorry!”), and made the long journey all the way up to the Room of Requirement.

“Hello, Archie, I've been having such a shoddy day,” he rambled on quickly, not even bothering to make sure the door was shut tight as he sauntered in. “I keep – ugh – it's still about the friend thing from yesterday. I think I'm dealing with my dad's rules really badly. I mean, it's only been two months, how am I supposed to deal with  _nine_? And the whole full moon thing tomorrow has been really making my mood horrible. You get me, right? The whole monster thing – you have to stay cooped up here all day, kept a secret from everyone else – which makes me wonder, why are you even here? It makes no sense, right? Right–?”

Remus's stomach dropped once he looked up.

Archie was not sleeping. Archie was not in a fiery rage, attempting to burn down his cage which couldn't be burnt down. Archie was not inquisitively watching Remus, his throat rumbling quietly.

Archie was on his scaly back, his purple, ridged stomach shown in all of its glory – if you could call it that. For on the brilliant indigo of Archie's stomach ran the longest gash Remus had ever seen, longer than any cut Remus had ever had in his life.

It looked … it looked  _bad_. It was dark red, almost black, and sparkled with moisture. Archie made a constricted whine of pain. Remus felt like vomiting.

“Salazar,” he cursed, watching the sight before him. Archie – his confidant, his friend – lying on his back, moaning in pain.

Remus had to help, he knew it. But then he reconsidered – what could Remus do? Remus was a first year. He hadn't the slightest idea what the Helga he could possibly do to help.

“I have to tell Dumbledore,” he told himself, and began to march for the door. Before he could do so, the man in question materialised before Remus.

“Hello, Remus,” he said. Remus yelped in surprise.

“Professor Dumbledore,” he said, his throat dry. “I – I can explain why I'm here–”

The old man shook his gnarled hand dismissively. “All of the teachers know that you come up here every single evening, Remus.” The man smiled, and Remus's stomach dropped for the second time.  _Every single teacher?_

“Er – okay. But aren't I … aren't I in trouble? Didn't you say at the start of the year not to … uh, go looking for it?”

“Well,” the man said. “You did not go looking for Archimedes here, did you? You came here looking for something else entirely.”

Remus nodded in agreement.

“You are also,” Dumbledore said, his smile kind and caring, “under extreme circumstances. So we have allowed it, with rare supervision from me if I find it necessary. Which is why I am here.”

Remus suddenly realised that Dumbledore felt sorry for Remus, about Remus's affliction and how he had to deal with it. He felt invasive, like an intruder.

Then he realised – oh, Godric, all of those teachers that had been supervising, had they heard all of Remus's deepest, darkest thoughts? Remus felt his face begin to burn with humiliation.

“Indeed, some of the staff are quite jealous of you,” Dumbledore said, his eyes shining with amusement. “Professor Slughorn, of course, though I'd never let Horace a dragon, because if that happened, the dragon would be quite dismantled by the time Horace was done with it,” he chuckled. “And Rubeus Hagrid, the gamekeeper, you know him? He loves magical creature, and was dying to keep Archimedes for himself, but I had to refuse him.”

Remus again, felt awkward and invasive. “Sir, can I ask – why is Archie – sorry, Archimedes – here at Hogwarts?”

“Archimedes has been placed at Hogwarts because he is a particularly unruly member of his family,” Dumbledore said, and began striding towards Archie, beckoning Remus to follow. The man's long white beard and hair dragged along the floor as he walked up to Archie's cage. “As you may know, the MacFusty Clan whom live in Scotland are the main carers of the Hebridean Black dragon species, of which Archimedes is a part of.”

Remus nodded, and the man continued. “However, Archimedes is the youngest of his family, and is considered the runt. It is far too dangerous for him to live with his family as of now, as his brothers and sisters hurt him far more than he can hurt himself.”

“There is another,” Dumbledore said carefully, “reason why he is being kept here for now. But I'm afraid I cannot tell you. I apologise, Remus.”

“It's fine,” said Remus, not looking at the man, but rather at Archie, who was now in a foetal position. “Professor – why is Archie injured?”

“Well, the answer is much closer to home than you think,” said Dumbledore sadly. “When Archimedes gets into a rage, as Hebridean Blacks often do, he cannot hurt anything around him, as the cage is too small and constricting. So, he has to resort to hurting himself.”

Remus gawked. “Surely there is somewhere else Archie can be kept – the Forbidden Forest?”

Dumbledore shook his head. “There is nowhere else safer for Archimedes here than within Hogwarts itself.”

Remus felt annoyance rise within him quickly. “Then send him back home! Surely the Hebridean Isles can't be any worse than this tiny cage.”

“As I said before,” he said, ever patient, “there is another reason which I cannot disclose to you.”

Remus grumbled. “Well, what can we do about his injury then?”

“Madam Pomfrey will try her best,” Dumbledore said. “As you know, she has a lot on her plate this year.”

Suddenly Remus felt guilty.  _Remus_ himselfwas adding to Madam Pomfrey's workload – in fact, probably every teacher's workload, especially Dumbledore. He was another burden they had to carry along with keeping Archie safe.

“I'll help too,” said Remus, not as an offer, but as a defiant statement.

“I'm sure you will.”

There was silence as the two watched Archie. Archie wasn't looking too bad anymore, but the gash still sparkled with dark blood. Remus gulped. He hoped Madam Pomfrey would come quickly.

“I'm glad that you have somebody to talk to,” Dumbledore added kindly. “Even a dragon is better than nothing. And I assure you, any time you might've been talking to Archie about something private, I had left the room.”

Remus's respect for Dumbledore suddenly multiplied by tenfold. Dumbledore, despite all of the troubles Remus was giving him, still found a way to make Remus better.

“Thank you,” said Remus. “Actually, sir, I have a few more questions.”

And Remus began asking Dumbledore, but with less intensity and ferocity this time. How did Archie eat? Every early morning, apparently, Hagrid lumbers up the castle to give Archie all the meat he had caught from the day before (surely the highlight of Hagrid's day, Dumbledore assured.) Was Archie going to be okay? Yes, as long as the wound did not become infected. How did those bars deflect all of Archie's furious fires? It was created from abestine, a metal found in the only magical volcano in the world – it strengthens in heat and is destroyed in cold. Since Archie had been blasting fire at his bars the whole time, unknowingly strengthening it, the only thing that could destroy it was the coldest acid in the world.

“Remus, I think it's best we go now,” Dumbledore said. “Madam Pomfrey will be here soon, and she doesn't need any distractions.”

Remus reluctantly agreed, and looking back at his dragon friend in pain, silently bid goodbye.

As he made his way back to Gryffindor tower, into the Common Room, he found out with surprise that there was a party going. Even more red and gold decorated the Common Room, and a handmade banner with poor typography said, “Happy Birthday, Sirius!”

All of the first year Gryffindors – James, Sirius, Peter, Mary, Marlene, Dorcas, even Lily, who had her nose stuck in a textbook – were there, singing songs, having fun, playing a game of Wizard's Chess. Remus had resigned himself to never being able to enjoy any of that.

“Oh, Remus, there you are,” James said, grinning. Oh, Godric, not another social interaction. “Come on over,” he said, beckoning to him and Sirius who were playing a game of chess while Peter watched.

“No, it's okay, I'm tired,” said Remus. “Happy birthday, by the way,” he told Sirius, who smiled back, but then made a, “Hmph!” sound.

“Took you long enough,” Sirius said petulantly.

Remus huffed, irrationally. He shouldn't be annoyed, but he was. “I didn't see you.”

“Could've come up to me.”

Remus huffed again. Why was he arguing with Sirius? What was it about Sirius that got on Remus's nerves all the time? They weren't even friends! “Sorry, then.”

“Nah, I'm just kidding,” Sirius said, grinning lopsidedly.

“Er – actually, come up with me,” Remus said. What was he doing? Stress, excitement invaded his senses. Together, he and Sirius made their way up to their dorm. Then Remus began digging through his trunk, trying to find what he was looking for.

“This is really lame,” Remus warned, laughing nervously. “Aha! Here. OK. It's a library book. Sorry.”

“Oh!  _The Moon at Noon_.” Sirius looked pleasantly surprised. “The sequel to  _The Light at Midnight_ , right?”

“It's not really a present, it's a library book, you have to return it,” Remus said hurriedly, apologetically. “Sorry. But, I thought you might like to read it. It's pretty new, only a few months old.”

Sirius smiled. “Thanks, mate.”

They weren't even friends. Right?

*

The next day, after Remus was escorted through the tunnel under the tree and left alone in that terrible, creepy house, Remus had the worst full moon he had ever had before. Maybe it was because he was growing, but he thought that it was really because, looking at the fresh gashes all over his body, it reminded him a lot of Archie.


	8. First Year: A Christmas Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus wished bitterly that he could chug some Forgetfulness Potion to get rid of any memories about the awful Christmas holiday he had.

— CHAPTER EIGHT —

_**A Christmas Conflict**_

 

Remus, for the life of him, could not figure out what he was doing wrong.

Forget Cure for Boils – Forgetfulness Potion was proving a right pain to make. The Lethe River Water had to be drained precisely so any Memory Muck was gone, but all of the liquid was still there.

He was still down – still down about Archie and his self-mutilation, his slowly-healing gash. Remus had his own from the full moon a week ago; cuts faded until they were silver. His hands still shook every time he thought about Archie, curled up like a baby, whining in pain. It was too real, too close to home.

He also was still at a standstill about the whole friendship thing with Sirius, who was dangerously close to  _friend_ status for Remus's liking. He decided that him and Sirius were  _acquaintances_ – surely his dad couldn't get mad at him for that? Really, if the whole concept of socialisation didn't exist, Remus's life would be much easier.

“Argh.” Remus was still struggling with the first step of the Forgetfulness Potion, shaking the drainer vigorously so as to remove the Muck, when Lily Evans slid over. She gently took the drainer from Remus and flipped it the other way 'round.

Oh. It began to drain properly now, and the green Memory Muck oozed nastily to the bottom of the vial.

His face heating up, he muttered, “Thanks,” and received a smile in response.

“You can always ask for help, you know?” Lily said.

It was that moment he decided that, other than Professor Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey, Remus's favourite person at Hogwarts was Lily Evans.

Remus had cracked under the pressure – and he'd been feeling the weight of it for a long time, but only now had he finally, fully cracked – of his father's No Friend Rule. You could see it. You could see it if you were paying hard enough attention, which Remus supposed nobody really was.

Lily was friendly, in a way, just like James, and sort of like Sirius. But, unlike James and  _especially_ Sirius, she wasn't prying; she didn't have questions. She let things be. She saw how things were going, Remus assumed, but made no comments.

It'd been going on for what, three months now? Now that November had crept by and December overtook it, Remus's resolve weakened til it snapped in half. Lily had caught Remus at his worst moment.

Sure, Archie was a great listener. But he couldn't study with Archie, or do homework, or ask for help with the new Charm they'd learnt.

It started off simply enough. “Remus, would you like to come over to the library in the evening?” she offered carefully. “Severus and I were going to finish off that really long Transfiguration essay.”

Remus thought about it. Archie was healing, yes? He didn't  _need_ Remus there. _Plus,_  Remus hadn't started the essay yet. The full moon and the threat of Archie's health looming over his head had made him antsy and unfocused for the entire week.

“Sure,” he told her.

She looked delighted but said nothing.

That evening, they sat in the library together, working without saying many words. It was the first time Remus had ever been at the library with other people, but not the first time he had done work there.

It was sort of nice and peaceful. Severus, who usually couldn't help making a snappy comment, was pleasant to Lily, passing her pieces of parchment if she needed any, or pointing out a particular page. Remus thought that maybe Severus didn't appreciate Remus being there all that much, since he only talked to Remus quietly and curtly. But it was okay, since Remus hardly spoke. All in all, Remus found the experience enjoyable. He momentarily forgot about Archie, about being a werewolf, about his father…

But then he remembered. He remembered his father's stern face, his floppy dark blonde hair covering serious, stormy eyes.

(In fact, he thought about his father so much, it was as if Lyall was enrolled at Hogwarts with him as well.)

Bollocks! If his father knew, oh Godric, oh no–

Was he overreacting? He paused and thought about it. Maybe a little, but his father would surely be unhappy. This was evident from the letters he had gotten so many times from his father, demanding answers to whether Remus had exposed his secret yet or not.

Remus calmed down. “It's fine,” he told himself. “You aren't  _exposing_ anything to them; you aren't even talking to them! It's fine. It's all fine.”

And so that was that. He had managed to convince himself. Maybe it was the December full moon, which was looming close, which blurred his thoughts.

In fact, he thought his father would be quite proud of him. Remus was studying better, doing his homework faster, asking Lily and even sometimes Severus for help with questions (Though Severus's answers were always short and final.)

And thus, Remus had made his first friend. Human friend, at least.

“I've made a friend,” he announced to Archie one day. “Her name is Lily Evans.”

Archie, Godric bless him, only really had anger tantrums twice a week nowadays – the other five days, he was subdued and calm. Remus was thrilled by it.

The dragon, obviously said nothing, but if Remus guessed, Archie seemed happy.

*

Christmastime was coming to Hogwarts, in a deluge of snow and rain. Hagrid lumbered into the Great Hall one day in early December a dozen Christmas trees, while Professor McGonagall conjured up festoons of holly and mistletoe. Professor Flitwick enchanted icicles hanging off the ceiling to never melt, and so they glistened day and night; he also brought in live fairies which buzzed around the trees constantly.

With Christmastime came holidays. James, who Remus assumed, had a loving family, was thoroughly excited for this. “Last Christmas,” he told Peter, “my dad got me the Comet 700, even though it's not  _the best_. I'm really hoping this year he gets me a Nimbus 1001.”

Peter gawked. “A  _Nimbus_? Those are – those are so expensive!”

Sirius, unlike his friends, did not seem nearly as thrilled to go on holidays. He only gave half-hearted responses to James. Remus felt an urge to go up to him, ask him what was wrong, but remembered himself.

“Hey, Lupin. Are you going home this Christmas?” James asked politely.

 _Of course._  Remus missed his parents dearly, more than anything.

Remus, the day before the students going home for the holidays (which also happened to be a full moon), made sure to bid Archie farewell. Archie was in a mood that day, and had released a torrent of scorching heat, which Remus found pleasant due to the cold weather.

That afternoon Remus made his way down to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey gave him a pitying look that Remus could hardly stand. She and Professor McGonagall led him to the shack once again. “There you go, I'll see you in the morning.”

The wolf inside of him came at him more viciously this time.  _Crack._ Remus's body jerked to the side.  _Snap_. He heard himself let out a pained howl.  _Pop_. His body bulged, and agony erupted all over, and he remembered no more.

“Remus!” someone yelled. Snow was falling in sheets and Remus had to trudge through the snowfall a bit, luggage in hand, before he could figure out who it was. It was Lily, who was waving Remus over vigorously. “Come, come, Remus. The train's about to leave.”

And so, they boarded the Hogwarts Express, which was much snugger inside – “A Warming Charm, I suspect,” Lily said wisely – and shuffled down the corridor before they found an empty compartment.

“Severus, Marlene, and Dorcas are all not going home for Christmas,” Lily was blabbering on. “Mary's coming too, but I couldn't find her this morning. At least we found each other, right Remus?” She grinned at him.

Remus forced himself to smile back at her.

The two, after some casual chatter, lapsed into a comfortable silence. Remus brought out his newest read –  _Life of Lad_ , the one he had picked up at the beginning of the year, that he realised he never started – and Lily took out a piece of parchment and began writing. She smiled ever so often. Remus didn't think he knew anyone who liked homework as much as Lily.

Their friendship was pleasant silence. Remus liked it very much.

The silence was cut short by the sound of the compartment door sliding open. “Lupin, hi!” Sirius said cheerily. “Hi, Evans.”

Both of them greeted Sirius.

“Lupin, if you'd like, there's room in our compartment,” Sirius offered.

Thoughts barrelled through Remus's mind. Sweet, quiet Lily who asked no questions.  _Friend._ Friendly, questioning, suspicious Sirius with too many questions to count.  _Acquaintance._

“It's okay,” Remus said. “I'll just sit here with Lily.”

Sirius scowled. “Suit yourself,” he said and slammed the door hard.

Remus sighed, and the rest of the trip continued silently. Lily, Godric bless her, did not ask any questions, just raised her eyebrows for a second.

Remus's father was waiting for him at Platform 9 and ¾. Lyall looked as he always did, tall, stern, wearing a suit a bit too large for him.

“Good afternoon, Remus,” he said.

“Merry Christmas dad!” Remus smiled.

“Off we go,” he said, and they walked off in silence towards the Muggle train, which they took all the way home. Remus tried to talk a few times, about school, about books, about anything, maybe even mention his new friends Archie and Lily, but Lyall was clearly not in the mood. In fact, Lyall reminded him a bit of Severus, what with his short replies. Oh, how he missed that.

Once they arrived home, at the tiny, too-small-to-call-cosy house nestled in the Wandering Woods, Hope Lupin was waiting at the front door. He hadn't seen the house in months. He was overjoyed.

“Remus, sweetie!” she cried happily and Remus half-ran to hug her.

“Merry Christmas, mum.” Her hug enveloped him, and her scent, whatever it was, was homely and sweet. She hugged tight and Remus softly confided, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” she said. Her smile was too wide for her face. “Come, come, we have so much to talk about.”

The house, though still small, with miniature windows and doors and tables and chairs, was decorated a little bit for the Christmas season. Indeed, a tiny Christmas tree half Remus's height was squashed in the corner of the living room, and that made Remus smile. The trees at Hogwarts were  _much_ larger, if Remus recalled.

Really, sometimes Remus wished his mother was the magical one, and not his father – that Hope could use the owl post and not Lyall. Remus made a mental note to pass on letters to his mother next time.

Hope was incredibly interested in everything Remus had to say. How was school? How were lessons? Is that a book in your hand? Are you still reading? Oh, gosh, sweetie, how were the transformations? Is that a new scar? Oh, goodness.

“Put your things in your room while I get dinner ready,” Hope said after she was done interrogating him, ushering Remus upstairs. He had quite enjoyed the interrogation – at least  _one_ of his parents cared.

Remus obliged. He traipsed up the tiny staircase and walked into his room. His eyes danced over the small bed pushed to the side, with nothing else there but a stack of books piled neatly due to a lack of a shelf.

“Long time no see,” he said, dropping his luggage down unceremoniously on the floor. Then he sank into his bed. Uncomfortably, terribly, guiltily, he realised he preferred his four-poster bed at Hogwarts.

Looking around, he realised, well, Hogwarts was better. Hogwarts had room for Remus to chuck his things, floor space for Remus to shove dirty laundry or unfinished homework. Hogwarts had shelves for Remus to stick his books – oh and Hogwarts had  _books_ , more books than Remus had ever imagined.

He felt disloyal, like he was disrespecting his parents somehow. After all it was their house and he was living in it.

His house was  _fine_. It was all right.

He'd been mulling there for a while, apparently, and his mother called for him to come to dinner.

Dinner was initially a quiet affair. The Christmas dinner was a roast turkey with a dark sauce trickled over it. Though nothing incredibly fancy like Hogwarts dinners, it was still quite tasty. Hope had asked all the questions she had thought of already, and so she struggled to find conversation topics to interest both father and son.

“How's work, dad?” Remus asked excitedly.

“Great.” Lyall chewed his food unenthusiastically.

“Seen any cool creatures?”

“Not particularly.”

“Dad, there was something I wanted to talk to you about,” Remus said slowly.

“What is it?”

He hesitated. “Well, you know those letters you sent?”

Lyall nodded.

“Recently, I think I've … I think I've made a friend. Or two. Hear me out, dad, I think you'll really like her, or them–”

“ _No_ ,” Lyall said coldly. His voice boomed and reverberated almost by magic throughout the entire house. “No! This is exactly what I didn't want to happen.” He pointed a finger at Remus. “ _You_ had to follow simple rules, and you couldn't do that! This is for  _your_ good.”

“Lyall…” Hope said quietly, but he ignored her.

The roast turkey was suddenly tasteless and cold in Remus's mouth.

“You've compromised your own safety, Remus, can't you see that?” Lyall implored. “Your secret is only as safe as  _you_ are. I said not to get close with  _anybody_ and that is  _final_!”

A pause. He hadn't even heard Remus out. He hadn't given Remus a chance to explain himself. This was so stupid. A father and son arguing about  _friends_. Dinner was ruined.

Remus felt hurt, and sort of angry.

“Fine,” Remus snapped, feeling anything but.

*

The rest of the holidays passed in a tense, quiet blur. Hope tried to resolve the tension between father and son as the snowy days passed, but eventually gave up. Remus still felt angry, and the anger did not subside even as the holidays came to a close and the snowfall began to falter. Lyall did not once thaw his icy front and reprimanded Remus ever so often about secret keeping. All through the holidays, Remus wished bitterly that he could chug some Forgetfulness Potion (which he still couldn't brew properly) to get rid of any memories about the awful Christmas holiday he had.

“Goodbye Remus,” Lyall said shortly as he dropped his son off at Platform 9 and ¾.

“Bye, dad,” Remus said, just as shortly, and he left.

He boarded the train, still brooding.

He came across a compartment; inside was Sirius Black, whose nose was stuck in a book, a rare sight indeed. Sirius's curly black hair hung at the sides of his head. Remus noticed he'd gotten a haircut.

Remus wanted to sit down with Sirius. Remus wanted to talk, like a normal kid, about normal things. Remus wanted a friend. But his father would never have allowed it, Remus knew. Lyall would have a downright fit if Remus tried to make any more friends.

But then, he reconsidered, thought about what his dad had done over the holiday…

His dad  _wasn't_ always right.

“Hello. Can I – uh – come in?” asked Remus.

Sirius looked up from the book, shoving it away immediately as if ashamed. “Yeah, 'course.”

Remus walked in awkwardly, then sat down opposite Sirius. He huffed as he plopped down, crossing his arms and looking out the window as the train began to move.

“Bad mood?” Sirius questioned carefully. Remus nodded. “Me too.”

Carefully, slowly, Remus asked, “Family stuff?”

Sirius stared at him for a while. Finally, he said, “Yeah.”

“Me too, mate. Me too.”


	9. First Year: Nobody in the Hallway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus had bumped into someone, he was sure of it. But there was nothing there.

— CHAPTER NINE —

_**Nobody in the Hallway** _

 

Indeed, James did receive a Nimbus 1001 for Christmas, and was sure to let everybody know once school had started again. Everyone oohed and ahhed as James brandished the long, sleek broomstick in the Common Room.

“Whatever,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, and then added cryptically, “You got the best gift already, remember?”

James grinned knowingly, as if in on a joke.

Remus felt his stomach drop with jealousy. Of course they had inside jokes. Hmph. Whatever. Remus had to accept that he wasn't that close with anyone yet. Or would be ever, probably.

Peter returned with boxes of sweets to share with everyone, and even had some spare for Remus. After James asked, Remus awkwardly let his dorm mates know that he had gotten a new quill and a new ink jar, as well as a novel. (“That's cool,” James had said, though it didn't sound very genuine.)

Sirius, however, Remus had observed silently, seemed a bit stony during and after the trip to Hogwarts, just like Remus himself. He did not however push the matter further, as he thought Sirius would not like that. (In fact, after a while of teasing James about showing off his new broomstick, Sirius seemed a whole lot better.)

Instead, Remus interacted with his newfound friend, Lily.

“'Morning, Lily,” Remus said at breakfast on the first day back. He smiled at her as he sat down – a rare thing for him.

Lily grinned cheerily back, and chewed her mouthful of toast before speaking. “Hiya Remus! How were your holidays?”

“Great; I finished that Mallie book over the break, remember that one?”

“Wait. The first one or the second one?”

“Second, of course.”

“The one with the forbidden lovers, right?” Remus nodded. “I couldn't put it down!”

They chattered for a bit about magical books and authors, until Lily, checking a piece of parchment in her lap, suddenly looked as if she had remembered something, like an unfinished assignment. “Oh, sorry, Remus, I have to go. See you later!” And she was off.

Remus turned back to his toast, smiling inwardly at the debate they had had – Mudalier Mallie was  _much better_ at writing good characters than Edmund Edmend was – when he caught Sirius studying him in the corner of his eye.

“Getting chummy with Evans, huh?” he asked. He sounded almost curious.

“Yes,” said Remus. He said it slowly. Why did he say it slowly? Was he being cautious? Why would he need to be cautious? “We do homework together, you know. Read the same books.”

“ _We_  read the same books.” Sirius said it almost like a retort, as if they'd been arguing. But they hadn't been, right?

“Hmm?” was all Remus could formulate.

Sirius said, “Never mind.” Remus was saved from having to respond – or to consider whether he should respond – by the appearance of the mail owls, hooting loudly as they soared overhead. One envelope dropped unceremoniously in front of Sirius, causing his bowl of cereal to tip over. Sirius looked annoyed, but Remus didn't know whether it was because of the contents of the letter, or the cereal.

(Remus himself didn't get any mail at breakfast anymore, nor did he try to write.)

*

During Transfiguration, Remus couldn't help but realise that McGonagall knew about Remus's affinity for Archie the dragon; Dumbledore had said, of course, that all the teachers knew. In fact, every lesson his thoughts were pervaded by the nagging feeling that all the professors at Hogwarts knew far about Remus than he liked. This thought was so disturbing to Remus that he, usually quite good at Transfiguration, failed to properly transform a mouse to a matchbox.

He shook the feeling off right around dinner time. It was probably just the imminent full moon that was making him extra prone to emotion and overthinking. Who cares? It wasn't like any of the teachers, not Tacey, not Flitwick, not Slughorn, acted any differently towards Remus. Thank Godric. Indeed, If McGonagall had spared one more pitying look at Remus – which she did  _every_ full moon – then Remus would combust in embarrassment.

He spent a bit longer at dinner that evening, mulling over Archie, ignoring thoughts about his father, until he realised – it was time to see Archie!

Excited, Remus said a polite goodbye to Lily, who he'd been alone sitting with, as all the other Gryffindor first years had gone back to the Common Room. He told her apologetically that he couldn't turn up to their library sessions.

“But I'll come tomorrow.” Wait.  _Salazar_. The full moon was tomorrow. Just his luck that it was right after the holiday's end. “Oh, actually, I can't tomorrow,” he said, cringing.

However, Lily did not ask any questions. See? This was why Lily was an ideal friend for Remus. No questions meant no awkward, false answers.

“It's fine,” Lily said, smiling. “Severus is coming; he just – er, he told me he was free.”

Remus nodded then departed. There was a bounce in his step as he traversed Hogwarts towards the Room of Requirement. He was so thrilled to see Archie again. After a fortnight, he'd missed the big guy. How was he doing? Was he getting better?

Hopefully Archie hadn't hurt himself again – Remus knew how terrible that felt. Nobody to blame but yourself.

The hallways, like Remus's first day at Hogwarts, seemed inviting, the warm light of the torches comforting Remus. He was alone, but he wasn't lonely. Paintings of medieval wizards and witches who were yawning adorned the sturdy walls, and, oh, over there was a suit of armour that hadn't been polished in a while, and, oh, was that a–?

Remus yelped in surprise at the same time someone else grunted. He had crashed into someone, and, judging by the grunt, he heard the other person collide against something – the wall, maybe?

“Merlin,” a voice hissed.

Remus had also heard a nasty crack, hopefully not a broken bone, and Remus felt a flood of alarm and sympathy. Salazar! He really needed to look where he was going.

This all happened in the span of two seconds.

“Sorry! Are you all right?” Remus said, rapidly looking around for the person he had knocked into, who happened to be…

No one. There was nobody else in the hallway. Remus whipped his head around, but there was truly nobody to be found. Had he bumped into something else, a ghost, an object? But you  _couldn't_ feel ghosts, nor were there any objects in sight.

And objects didn't just  _say_ , “Merlin.”

“Hello?” Remus's voice echoed down the corridor, and was met with no answer. “Who's there?”

Remus  _had_ bumped into someone, he was sure of it. They had said something, for Godric's sake! But there was nothing there. How weird.

Thoroughly spooked, Remus left, his thrill at meeting Archie replaced by an overwhelming feeling of paranoia at the odd encounter.

But that all went away when he entered the Room of Requirement.

“Hullo Archie,” Remus said. Everything still looked virtually the same – the dozen shelves, the medicinal items all about, the cage in the middle encircling Archie.

Archie did not look much worse, but he didn't look much better. The injuries were still there, but evidently someone had tried to bandage them up. The bandages had been torn apart, unfortunately, but Archie was moving about as much as he could, grumbling, snorting fire ever so often.

Remus, somehow, found this endearing, like one would be endeared by a toddler having a tantrum. He moved closer than he had ever been to the dragon, merely a metre away.

“I see that you're doing all right,” he said. “Me too. My life has been going pretty all right, but there  _is_ my father, who is … who is a  _bother_.”

He almost flinched. He had never said something like that about his father, whom was a very brave and respectable man.

But Lyall was also a bother. And he wasn't  _here_ , and he had  _no idea_ what happened at Hogwarts, and had  _no idea_ that Archie existed, or that Remus had taken a liking to him. So Remus allowed himself to pour out all the thoughts he had repressed since Christmas Day. It was like a faucet that, once turned on, could not be turned off.

Remus noticed that Archie stopped grumbling. Archie stood very still, looking directly at Remus, his face touching the bars of the cage because it was so close to Remus. Neither smog nor flame was emanating from the dragon's nostrils or maw.

“It's just so frustrating. He won't even hear me out,” Remus spat, staring at the ground. “Does he not trust that I can keep a secret?”

He looked up at Archie, intense purple eyes staring right at Remus. Was it a predatory look? Was it a thoughtful one? Remus wouldn't know.

Remus should've been scared. He should've bolted in the opposite direction. He should've said, “Goodness, Remus, making friends with a  _dragon_ , really?” and gave himself a clobber on the head. But he wasn't scared.

And then Remus did something insane. He did something that was even stranger than Professor Tacey was. He reached out.

 _Reach out_ , a voice told him, and so he had.

His hand, since it was not made of fire, passed through the magical bars of Archie's cage. Shaking – because,  _Holy Helga, Remus wasn't scared, he was terrified_ – his hand inched closer and closer to Archie's enormous head.

And then Remus made contact on the side of Archie's head. Just the slightest bit. After ten tense seconds of not knowing whether the dragon would suddenly go into a rage and burn Remus's hand off, Remus let his guard down and he felt the tension in his arm die away.

Remus could see a jagged, ugly scar on the side of Archie's face, near where Remus's hand was. He felt his heart sink. Ouch. Face scars were the worst. Everybody could see them.

His hand eased onto Archie's head, and, slowly, he began to stroke the poor dragon comfortably, as if he were a pet dog.

“It's okay…” he said, though he didn't know whether he was telling that to Archie or himself.

“…friend,” Remus finished lamely, though since Archie didn't blast him with fire, he thought the dragon must be okay with it.

*

The full moon made Remus even more antsy the next day. He cursed at the stupid thing the entire day, as he botched a Levitation Charm on a book, instead making it go fly sideways.

The rest of the day, though, went by smoothly. However, there was an interesting absence to the usual routine that Remus couldn't help but note.

After building up the courage to start a conversation with someone, Remus finally whispered to Sirius during History of Magic, “Where's James?”

Indeed, the Potter boy had been absent the entire day from all lessons. He hadn't even turned up to breakfast.

Sirius whispered back, “Dunno. Never came to our dorm yesterday.”

Remus was concerned. James was a nice boy, if a bit full of himself. Hopefully nothing terrible had happened to him. Anxiety gnawed at him. What if James had stumbled across the Room of Requirement and been eaten by Archie? What if James had, like he always said he wanted to but couldn't since he was only a first year, attempted to play some Quidditch last night, and accidentally ended up with a Bludger in his head?

Remus shook his head, as if to shake the thoughts from his head.

The damn full moon, making Remus  _think_  too much.

As evening approached, Remus sighed and made his way over to the Hospital Wing, where Madam Pomfrey and McGonagall were waiting for him.

“Early, like always,” Madam Pomfrey said kindly.

As per usual, the two witches escorted him down all the way until the shack, where they left him alone. There must be  _serious_ magical enchantments on the house, Remus thought, because never once had the werewolf in him broken out.

As the moon rose, Remus felt his muscles stretching, his body growing larger and larger.

 _Let go_ , a voice told him, and he finally let go of the tension he had been holding onto the entire day.

And thus he let the werewolf take over.

Remus could barely remember anything from his transformations pre-Hogwarts, but, more and more recently, he found that he recalled more of the werewolf than he usually did. Remus recalled the anger, the  _fury_ that threatened to burst out. Blinding fury that almost choked him. He recalled how there was nothing,  _nothing_ , to take out his  _anger_ on – nothing except the werewolf himself.  _Bite. Tear. Slash_. He needed to bite, to tear, to slash, but there was only one thing to do that to.

The fury never died down, not until the moon fell and the sun rose once more.

* 

Remus awoke in the Hospital Wing, groaning. The rage had simmered down, replaced by overwhelming exhaustion. Godric, Remus would never move again. Madam Pomfrey hovered over him, fretting.

“Oh, how awful, how awful,” Madam Pomfrey was muttering very quietly. “Perhaps Murtlap Essence? Yes, that'll do nicely. I just need to find it … Oh, Remus, you're awake!”

“Remus?” James's voice asked.

Remus bolted up, and Madam Pomfrey shrieked.  _James?_ Indeed, said boy was sitting in a hospital bed not too far from Remus's. He had a bandage that covered the right side of his forehead, and a plaster around his right arm. His glasses were placed on the bedside table. “James?”

“What are you doing here?” James asked, incredulous.

“Never mind what he's doing here,” Madam Pomfrey snapped. “Both of you, sit back down, now. You both need rest!”

Madam Pomfrey fussed over Remus for a bit, applying a very soothing solution on Remus's cheek. The pain subsided. Then she left, making the two boys promise not to stop resting.

As soon as she was out the door, James hissed, “Merlin!  _Mate_ , you look awful!”

Remus had to make up a lie about how, on the way from his sick mother's house, he'd been jumped by a couple of thieves, preying on weak little Remus. “Muggles, you know?” he said weakly, hoping to appeal to James's limited knowledge on said subject.

James nodded seriously.

“What about you?” Remus asked.

James hesitated. “Er – I was walking back to our dorm, when I tripped over something. Knocked into a wall and everything. Got this,” he said, lifting up his arm, then wincing at the pain.

Something about James's explanation seemed off to Remus. Maybe it was James's tone, or the things he said. But Remus, who had not told the truth about his injuries either, did not press the matter further.

To pass the time, James and Remus chatted quite a bit about school and Quidditch, playing a game of Wizard's Chess once Madam Pomfrey had decided they were fit enough to leave their beds. “But  _not_  fit enough to go to class, mind you,” she added sternly.

(James was quite happy about this; Remus less, so.)

Remus had fun, though. James was a nice enough guy, and spending days after the full moon alone was always quite lonely and boring.

But for the rest of the day, Remus could not help the nagging suspicion that whomever had said, “Merlin!” in the hallway sounded identical to how James had said, “Merlin!” just then.


	10. First Year: Balderdash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What the heck's balderdash?" hissed James.
> 
> Remus fought back a laugh. "It means, like, nonsense, you know? Poppycock."

— CHAPTER TEN —

**_Balderdash_ **

 

Remus did not find the courage in him to outwardly confront James about what had gone down in the hallway. He was  _sure_ it was James's voice now, the same shocked, “Merlin!” echoing in Remus's ears every time he thought about it.

Certainly, it had been James. But how? How had James managed to disappear so quickly, as if he'd never been there? Was James the holder of some advanced magic, like Dumbledore? No, James was only a first year, Remus reasoned.

He resolved that it wasn't his business, that James hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, he was glad James believed his made-up story about Muggle thieves – if it had been suspicious Sirius, Remus would be much more worried.

“New password's  _Balderdash_ ,” a Gryffindor prefect whose name Remus could not remember told Remus and James as they walked in the next day.

“What the heck's balderdash?” hissed James.

Remus fought back a laugh. It was a funny word, he had to admit. “It means, like, nonsense, you know? Poppycock.”

James hummed disinterestedly, and Remus talked no more to the boy, nor the boy's friends, for the rest of the day.

Remus, remembering his promise to Lily that he'd show up to one of their work sessions someday, made his way towards the library, making a mental apology to Archie, whom he would not visit today. “Not today, buddy. Sorry.”

He shouldered his heavy work bag as he walked inside, peering past the prim librarian and around the tall bookshelves to try and find Lily. Finally after walking through the fiction section, he spotted Lily and Severus hunched over some parchment, whispering.

Remus, involuntarily, found himself eavesdropping on the two as he walked nearer.

“…thought I got close, thought it must've been with Hagrid, the groundskeeper,” Severus was muttering to Lily, “but then I realised – Dumbledore's not daft enough to leave something as important as that with  _Hagrid_.”

“Severus, I really think you should let it go,” Lily hissed back. “It's been months. I reckon they moved the thing out ages ago, found a better home for it. Oh, hiya Remus.”

“Hullo,” Remus said once he'd approached, and Severus, in a pleasantly surprising gesture, grunted back in greeting. However, the Slytherin boy looked severely unhappy and embarrassed, as if Remus had walked in on a secret.

“I've got to go finish Tacey's essay on dark creatures,” Severus said suddenly, rising from his chair. “Wish the old hag was able to talk, then I'd be able to actually  _learn_.”

Lily hummed in agreement, and bid Severus a friendly goodbye. Severus allowed Remus a curt nod. As he departed, Remus took his seat, taking out his things slowly. He eyed Lily, who was looking stressed.

“What was that about?” Remus asked Lily carefully once he was sure Severus had left the library.

Lily hesitated. “What do you mean?”

“That's balderdash, Lily,” Remus said. He was feeling extra brave today. “What were you talking about?”

She huffed. “Oh, okay,  _fine_  – but promise not to tell anyone.” She said all this in a hushed voice, whipping her head around to see if anyone was listening in.

Remus swore he wouldn't.

“Severus must've told me in – what? History of Magic, maybe? Yeah. It must've been History of Magic,” Lily was rambling.

He waited patiently for her to continue.

“Well, this sounds quite silly,” Lily said, laughing nervously, “but,  _well_ , Severus is trying to find the dragon.”

Remus felt his stomach drop suddenly, as if he'd just fallen from a high place. Severus was trying to find Archie? “Hmm?” he asked as casually as he could, as if he had no idea what Lily was talking about.

Lily shuffled closer, her voice low. “Remember at the beginning of the year? When Dumbledore told us that Hogwarts was keeping a dragon this year – and everyone was going spare 'cause they thought the dragon would kill us all?”

“Oh, yeah. Now I remember,” Remus lied.

She shuddered, and tapped her quill against the desk. “Severus has been wanting to find that dragon  _all year_.”

“For what?”

Lily lost all anxiety momentarily, her inner swot rising up. “Honestly, Remus. Don't you listen in class? In Potions?”

“Afraid not,” he said.

“Well, you should remember that dragon body parts have very useful magical properties,” she said somewhat snootily. “For example, dragon's blood has 12 basic uses – and its dung, horn, liver, scales, and more; all of it can be used for brewing potions.”

“Ah, cool,” Remus said.

 _Good Godric_  – Severus wanted to find poor Archie, to use him as a experimental rat. Remus was greatly troubled by the thought of Severus hacking off one of Archie's night-black scales, or, even worse, cutting Archie open to retrieve a liver.

“Of course, I told him it was incredibly dangerous of him to try look for a dragon,” said Lily, nervously touching her hair. “But he is  _really_ adamant to find the dragon.”

“I see,” Remus said, his throat too dry to say much more.

And Archie was injured too, still recovering from his spontaneous outbursts ever so often! Remus felt a sudden noble feeling of wanting to keep Archie safe from Severus.

“Dumbledore must have very strong protection and safeguards,” Lily reasoned, more to herself than Remus, really. “That dragon  _has_ to be protected enough so anyone couldn't find it, much less a first year, right?”

Remus shivered. “Right.”

Only one thing kept Remus from zooming out the library and up towards the Room of Requirement. It was the comforting thought that Severus, despite his apparent resolve to finding the dragon inside of Hogwarts, had not reached Archie yet. It was already January, almost February, many months since the beginning of the school year, and Severus had not found Archie yet. This soothed Remus greatly.

And so Remus went on with his work, lapsing into comfortable silence with Lily.

“Severus has a point, you know,” said Lily, and at Remus's raised eyebrow, added, “About Professor Tacey. I wished she could speak. She has so much information, but I can't read her handwriting.”

Remus agreed somewhat. Tacey's handwriting was thin and scrawled.

“Wonder why she doesn't talk,” Lily said.

“She's probably mute,” said Remus. Wasn't it obvious?

“I doubt it,” said Lily darkly. “I can tell there's something else going on in there.”

Remus shrugged, and put it out of his mind immediately, going back to finishing off his work. Remus had enough mysteries on his plate, enough to not worry about some teacher of his.

*

A week later, right after a silent Defence Against the Dark Arts class – Remus could tell Lily was still ruminating over Tacey's eternal silence – and a particularly boring History of Magic class, the Gryffindor first years walked into Potions, the Slytherins joining them in the dungeons. They were met by Professor Slughorn, who looked even jollier than he usually did.

“Good afternoon, everybody,” he said. “Oh ho,  _hello_  Rickard, is that a new haircut? 'Afternoon Lily, Sirius, oh, and you too, James. Now, class,” he said, once they had settled down. “I have special news for everyone.” The combined class seemed to take in a collective breath. Maybe today, they wouldn't have homework. “I'm setting your end-of-year assessment task!”

The class groaned. Remus, though, remained quiet.

“Now, now,” Slughorn tutted. “I'm sure this arrangement will be more pleasing to you than having to do an exam. The assessment is to brew a Wiggenweld Potion over the course of the rest of the year.”

The class groaned again. Remus now found himself groaning along.  _Wiggenweld_? What balderdash! That was one of the most difficult potions to brew for first years. They'd only learnt the theory of it briefly, and that already was tough for Remus to take in. They were expected to  _brew_ it? Outside of class? Clearly, Slughorn had gone mad.

Lily raised her hand. “But, sir, Wiggenweld is for third years to brew. First years only learn the theory.”

Slughorn smiled. “There's been a change in the curriculum, I'm afraid. But I'm very excited to see the results of this, as I'm sure all of you will be able to do it splendidly.”

Sirius and James muttered darkly to one another, and a lot of the class was too.

“Sir,” Peter said tentatively. “What  _is_ Wiggenweld Potion?”

Slughorn let out an exaggerated sigh, and the class burst into giggles at that, all mutters and groans gone. Of course Peter had forgotten. Even Slughorn guffawed. “Merlin's beard, my boy, we just learnt this last lesson! Oh, all right, we can go over it one more time. Mr Black, what is Wiggenweld?”

“Er–” said Sirius. “It's the, uh, healing potion, right? It wakes you up from magically induced sleeps. It's in that famous fairy tale with that hag, and the prince who applied it to his lips to wake up the princess.”

Remus bristled. Sirius (and James too), who barely studied or did homework, who spent his time playing small practical jokes on others instead, still had an inborn talent and knowledge of the wizarding world. Perhaps being pureblood had its perks.

“Splendid,” Slughorn said, “And Mr Rosier, why did the prince apply it to his lips rather than let the princess drink it?”

Remus glanced over where Slughorn was looking. A handsome, haughty-looking Slytherin boy answered, “Because Wiggenweld is mildly poisonous to drink, and is better given indirectly.”

Slughorn was pleased. “Excellent, my boy. Five points to both Gryffindor and Slytherin.”

“First time Black's earned points for his House, instead of losing them,” Severus murmured to his friends, loud enough for the two Gryffindor boys to hear. The Slytherins burst into giggles.

Sirius's jaw tightened visibly. James also look incensed. Remus was worried. When would the Gryffindor and Slytherin feud end?

He was sure they would do something terrible back. Maybe it would be as entertaining as secretly sabotaging Severus's Cure for Boils. (As awful as it was to say it, Remus had to admit it was quite a funny practical joke.)

“Well, I'm sure all of will start preparing  _very_ soon,”–Slughorn looked pointedly at Peter, who was notorious for late work–”as it is due at the end of the school year. Now everyone turn to page forty-three and let's begin reading about the ingredients for Wiggenweld. Oh ho, how fun!”

*

Remus, though he wasn't really speaking to Sirius – because they weren't friends, obviously – was disappointed to find that Sirius wasn't at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. He'd been in the dorm in the morning, so Remus was pretty sure Sirius hadn't died on the way to breakfast. Perhaps he was busy finishing off some homework.

“Here, Remus, look at what I found,” Lily said, interrupting his stupor. She slammed down a newspaper clipping, most probably found in the library's archives, dated a few decades back.

It read:

 

**_'THE CREATURE CATCHERS' FOUND DEAD IN BISHKEK_ **

 

 

> _Renowned British dark creature hunters 'The Creature Catchers' have not only caught monsters during their time –_   _they have always caught the Wizarding community's eye due to their prolific and heroic escapades. Just last year, Enid Tacey, leader of the group, single handedly fought off ten grown banshees from decimating a Muggle village, putting her in the running for an Order of Merlin._
> 
> _However, it seems that members of the famous team have been found dead near Bishkek, in the Kyrgyz Ala-Too Range in Kyrgyzstan. Kyrgyzstan Healers have stated that the injuries are mostly probably due to a vampire attack._
> 
> “ _We're all devastated,” Tacey, one of few team members that hadn't gone on the vacation to Kyrgyzstan, reported to the Daily Prophet. “Nothing can compare to how horribly we feel right now.” She has also requested for no more press conferences._
> 
> _We offer our condolences to all friends and family of the victims, and_ –

 

“So?” Remus asked, looking away from the newspaper. “She caught dark creatures. Doesn't that mean she'd be a better teacher?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Don't you see?” Her pointer finger jabbed at the third paragraph under the title. “Look!”

Remus still didn't get it. Perhaps it was the full moon clouding his thoughts, but, admittedly, that was a while away, so he couldn't blame that. He shrugged helplessly at her.

“It's a  _quote_ ,” Lily said. “You can only quote things that people have  _said_. Tacey, our mute, unspeaking Professor,  _talked_. She. Can. Talk!”

Oh. That was quite a good point, now that Remus thought about it. He hummed. “Well, I guess she had to have lost her voice from…”–Remus peered at the date on the article–”…from  _1956_ to now. That's a pretty long time.”

“Or,” Lily argued, “she isn't speaking on purpose.”

Remus fought back derisive laughter. Lily was getting quite worked up about this, for very silly reasons. What she was saying was complete nonsense. Balderdash, even. “And why would that be?”

“Dunno,” she said. “But I  _will_  find out.”

Remus shook his head, smiling. Perhaps Lily wasn't as unquestioning and passive as Remus thought she was – clearly Lily was not just a silent observer. She wanted to find out about Tacey quite badly. Perhaps, since she was friends with Remus, she respected his right to be secretive, but obviously this privilege did not extend to Professors.

He was about to say something, perhaps to tease her about her incessant devotion to this, when he heard a shriek of shock coming from the Slytherin table.

“My wand!” the same person shouted.

It was Severus, and Remus at once knew that, whatever was happening, either James or Sirius had  _something_ to do with it, probably dragging Peter along with them. James, however, was sitting opposite Remus, innocently sipping his tea. Peter was munching on some toast.

Definitely Sirius. That's why he wasn't here.

Remus whipped his head around. Severus was jumping in the air, desperately trying to grasp something that was floating in the air. Remus squinted – Severus was trying to get back his wand, which was flying up towards the Great Hall ceiling.

Remus recognised the spell, the Levitating Charm, ' _Wingardium Leviosa_ ', which the first year Gryffindors had learnt recently. Definitely Sirius.

Distracted, Severus didn't seem to notice that, not only was his wand floating up into the air, but his breakfast too – eggs, bacon, baked beans and toast teetered into the air precariously and, once Severus realised, he let out another surprised yell.

Students from other tables began to notice, and began laughing at Severus's flusteredness. The first years sitting with Severus jerked back in shock, shuffling away from Severus and his flying things.

“Oh, my,” James said quietly, and Remus glanced to look at him. There was a glint in his eye. This was definitely something James had planned with Sirius.

As his bag began to fly too, his things began to soar out of it too – parchment, books, quills. People began to laugh in earnest at Severus, who was leaping into the air, trying to grasp at his possessions. Severus began wildly looking in every direction, trying to find who was casting the charm.

Remus didn't know how he felt. Though it was funny, he couldn't help thinking that Severus looked terribly humiliated.

Just how he'd felt when Sirius had stolen his wand.

“Oh, no, poor Severus,” Lily said, abandoning her seat at the dining table.

But before she could intervene, whoever seemed to be casting the spell cancelled it. Suddenly all the objects in the air stopped floating, and gravity had power again.

Severus's plate smashed against the table, almost hitting Severus, who yelled once more. Water from his mug splashed down on Severus's black hair, as well as the eggs and bacon. His parchment and workbooks went flying everywhere onto the ground, as if delivered by the mail owls. His wand dropped onto the floor last, and Remus really hoped it hadn't snapped.

Severus looked horribly humiliated, and furious. The laughter seemed to die down, and people awkwardly stopped staring.

Lily made a sympathetic whine and hurried over to help Severus collect his things. Remus, feeling guilty, made his way over too, and began to pick up the textbook and papers nearest to him, which had drifted their way near the Gryffindor table.

“Here,” Remus said quietly to Severus once he had gotten enough. The Slytherin boy was listening to Lily, but he still looked terribly angry.

He looked up at Remus, and Remus was shocked to see that Severus looked even more infuriated at seeing Remus. “What do  _you_ want?” Severus snapped. His hair was dripping wet. “To gloat?”

Remus gulped but said nothing.

“Severus, he didn't–” Lily started.

“He's friends with Potter and Black,” Severus snarled. “That means he  _did this to me_.”

Lily seemed like she was going to defend Remus, but Remus, knowing that now was not the time, conceded. “It's fine.”

He left. Severus thought he was friends with James and Sirius?

 _Please_. What balderdash. Remus didn't have many friends at all, let alone  _Sirius_.

*

Remus had, of course, spoken to Archie that evening. He made sure, of course, to return by curfew, because Godric knows what the professors, or prefects would do if they found Remus wandering the halls at night. But he  _had_  stretched it pretty late this time.

He had told Archie every detail about what happened that breakfast. Remus offered his mixed emotions – amusement, pity, anger.

Archie, himself, was looking a bit better. He  _had_ gone into a tantrum, which Remus was sad to see, since Archie rarely did that anymore. But the injuries looked a bit more pleasant than before, which Remus was relieved by.

“ _Balderdash_ ,” Remus told the Fat Lady, and she opened up the door into the Common Room.

Huh. Sirius Black was in the Common Room, surprisingly finishing off some homework. Even more surprisingly, James, whom with Sirius was regularly attached to the hip with, was nowhere to be seen. Sirius was hunched over a desk, and was sunk into a plush couch.

“Hullo,” Remus said, to be polite, but regretted it immediately.

“Hullo,” said Sirius back, looking up from his work.

“Can't believe you're doing homework,” teased Remus. Oh, my, he was feeling quite  _brave_ lately. Teasing people, talking back – was this really Remus?

Sirius huffed. “Wiggenweld Potion is seriously a pain in the Hippogriff. Have you started?” Remus shook his head. “You should. You don't know how long it takes to prepare some of these ingredients.”

“I will.”  _Eventually._

“Where were you?” asked Sirius, again with the questioning.

“Library,” Remus easily lied. “How did you … how did you  _do_ that to Severus, today? At breakfast? How did you not get caught?” His heart pounded. Now  _he_ was asking things.

Sirius thought on it, homework fully abandoned. “Didn't do it. Wasn't me.”

“Balderdash,” Remus said automatically.

“Huh?”

“Er, it means–”

Sirius laughed. He shifted in his seat, so he was sitting closer to where Remus was standing. “I know what it  _means_. I'm just surprised anyone our age would say it.”

“It's our password,” Remus said. He felt like he was defending himself.

“I know, but–” Sirius laughed again. “You really are a nerd, Lupin.”

He felt affronted, but he didn't know why. “Well, you  _knew_ what the word meant. You're just as much a nerd.”

“Am not.”

“You are,” Remus insisted. He walked nearer to Sirius in his plush seat, to whisper conspiratorially, “You read  _books_. I'll tell everyone your secret.”

“What – that I can read?” Sirius said teasingly. “

What was happening? They were bantering, having lighthearted fun. This was a strange sensation and didn't happen all too much. Remus was perplexed. What would Lyall say? But then Remus squashed that thought away. Remus would  _not_ think about his father. Whatever Lyall would say, Remus wouldn't hear any of it.

“Yep. It'd ruin your reputation.”

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. It was a strange laugh, a short, cutting sound, but nevertheless a laugh. He sat back, thoroughly entertained.

There was a pause, until Remus finally said, “No, but, seriously. How'd you pull that off this morning?”

Sirius waggled his finger deviously. “Nope. You can't get my secrets that easily.”

Remus huffed, and made his way to move towards the stairs leading up to the dorm rooms. “Fine. Goodnight, Sirius.”

“Goodnight, Remus.”

Clearly, there were quite a lot of mysterious things –  _balderdash_  – going on at Hogwarts. The question was, would Remus ever find out about it?


	11. First Year: Secret For Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I told you a secret, so you tell me a secret. Secret for secret," Sirius said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Why are you out so late?"

— CHAPTER ELEVEN —

**_Secret for Secret_ **

 

Now that he'd been at Hogwarts for almost six months, Remus found that he was quite good at school. He read and studied a lot, not having a lot to do unlike James, Sirius, and Peter, who usually went down to the field to practice flying, or played pranks on people.

Remus quite liked Charms and Transfiguration, but found that his Herbology and Potions needed a bit of work. History of Magic was a bore, but the content was quite interesting – and Defence Against the Dark Arts was quite possibly his favourite subject. In fact, he was probably the best in the class at it, if he was being honest.

But he would never say that aloud, unlike James, who, though Remus liked him, did admittedly have a big head, only exacerbated by the fact that he was skilled in both Transfiguration and Flying. Sirius, infuriatingly enough, did no work but still was one of the top students in Gryffindor, and maybe even their year, at most subjects. Lily, of course, had gotten to the top with her hard work, and was especially great at Potions. The only part of the school day that Peter enjoyed was lunch.

Remus even enjoyed the theoretical part of Defence. Today, Professor Tacey had set them a particularly gruelling comparative essay, discussing the differences between fire crabs, dragons and phoenixes.

“You know,” Lily said to Remus that day, “Dumbledore has a pet phoenix.”

“Really?” Remus asked absent-mindedly as he wrote down that, while they were all creatures that controlled fire, fire crabs and dragons regularly used flames to attack, whereas phoenixes used fire only to defend themselves. Lily, too, was writing furiously on her parchment.

“Yeah, but I reckon fire creatures are really dangerous.” She shook her head. “You'd have to be nutters to have a pet that can control fire.”

Nervous, Remus said, “Yeah, insane.”

“That's why I keep telling Severus to stop looking for that dragon,” Lily hissed, coming back to the topic. Remus could tell she was stressed about it; she brought up Severus and the dragon at least once per day. “He's been everywhere – went to the Forbidden Forest, even.”

“He won't find the dragon,” he said, more to himself than Lily.

He sighed. He'd lost focus on his essay – now he was stuck.

“Definitely. Nobody will.”

“Hey,” Remus said, leaning over to look at Lily's parchment. “What'd you write for the bit about differences in how dangerous they are?”

He glanced at her work. Rather than anything related to fire crabs, dragons, or phoenixes, Lily's parchment said, “ _Please, don't do it!_ ”

Immediately, she squealed in shock and folded the parchment shut, recoiling from Remus. “Remus!”

What? He was taken aback. “What was that?”

What was on that parchment? Why did Lily write that? Why was she so affronted when Remus had taken a look? Questions swirled in Remus's head, each answer less believable than the next.

Her eyes were open wide. “Nothing! Nothing. Don't you have any respect for people's  _privacy_?”

From the front of the room, Tacey shot the two of them a quelling look, and jabbed her wand at the board, which, on it was now written, “Quiet!”

Remus turned back to Lily and gulped, his hands up apologetically. “Sorry.”

Lily calmed down. “It's fine. Please don't do that again.”

Thoroughly weirded out, Remus didn't speak to Lily again for the rest of the lesson except to say goodbye.

Remus hadn't quite finished the essay that day, too distracted by thoughts of Archie, and put the homework off for another day. At the end of the day, Remus went to go visit Archie. He hadn't gone to another one of his study sessions with Lily and Severus in a while, because Severus was still furious at James and Sirius, and Gryffindor House in general, it seemed. In fact, Severus was so angry that, during Potions yesterday, when Peter and Remus messed up their preparation of Billywig Stings, he laughed so hard that Remus stopped feeling bad for him.

*

Remus made his way to the Room of Requirement, ready to divulge all the details of his day to Archie. In fact, his life seemed to be getting stranger and stranger every day, more and more mysteries popping up around him.

“'Afternoon, Archie,” Remus chattered as he clambered inside without even looking at said dragon. “You wouldn't  _believe_ my day. We were meant to be doing work, and I tried to look at Lily's parchment – you remember Lily, right? – yeah, the really smart one – I tried to look at her paper, and guess what it said?  _Don't do it_ , or something. Wonder what that was about. Weird, right, Archie?”

Remus looked up, expecting to see the dragon lumbering about in the cage, or perhaps Archie would be fast asleep, curled in on himself on the ground of the Room. But, no. It was something awful.

There was something sickeningly familiar about this entire situation, and Remus recalled the day Dumbledore had materialised in the Room with him, and told him all the specifics about Archie.

Archie was on his back, again, like that horrible day. His purple, ridged stomach was now a paler shade. Instead of just one bloody, black gash running down the length of Archie's belly, there were at least six. They were all jagged, terrible slashes, in every direction. It looked like there had been an attempt to bandage them up, with torn plasters barely holding onto the nauseating injuries all over Archie's body.

At the sight of Remus, who stood, horrified, Archie began to shift again, agonisingly, slowly getting off his back. Halfway up, the dragon shuddered in pain, his long, bloody limbs losing control, and Archie collapsed against the cage. It rattled for a few seconds, but held.

“ _Archie_!” Remus's heart wrenched. He ran towards the cage, abandoning common sense. Because  _this wasn't common sense_. This wasn't real, it couldn't be. Dumbledore said that Madam Pomfrey would try her best to help; was this her  _best_?

Remus felt a flood of anger – why wasn't she here right now, tending to Archie? The full moon was far away, she didn't have an excuse!

Then he felt guilty. Of course, this wasn't Madam Pomfrey's fault. She was a kind woman who knew everything about healing magic. If this was her best, this was her best.

Remus's stomach then gave a sick jolt. If this was her best … then was Archie done for?

Remus moaned sorrowfully as he reached the cage. He grasped the bars tightly. Normally, he wouldn't have dared come this close, but he had inched closer and closer over the past months. And now, Archie wasn't in a position to be burning Remus's hand off. In fact, Archie, slumped to the side, curled up in a foetal, pained state, looked like he would never produce fire again.

“Archie,” said Remus weakly. The dragon did nothing in response, but open one of his eyes. The eyelid was leathery and thick. From his eye leaked something and it took Remus a second to realise that Archie was crying.

This was a hundred times worse than any full moon Remus had ever experienced. Remus felt bad about ever complaining about the full moon, when Archie was like  _this_. What was a teenage werewolf with a few scars compared to a dragon who couldn't take out its anger on anything but itself?

 _Reach out. He's a friend in need, he clearly needs help. Reach out._ The voice in his head was persistent.

Like the last time he'd tried, Remus reached out a tentative hand through the bars and gently placed it on the dragon's head.

“It's okay. Or at least – it will be,” he told the dragon, but he was unsure of the validity of his words.

Nothing magical happened. Archie didn't suddenly heal. But, for a moment, there was peace.

Remus then came to a decision. He resolved that he  _would_ help, no matter  _what_. Archie would be okay, and Remus would help.

He spent the rest of the evening looking up different cures and remedies that could possibly help Archie.

His heart sank as he looked through all the books that the Room of Requirement had, all of which detailed obscure Murtlap Essence, Extract of Riggleroot,  _Vulnera Sanentur_ , the Philosopher's Stone Elixir of Life, and many more, all more difficult than the last to obtain, make, or cast.

“I'll find something,” promised Remus to the dragon, who managed to look even worse than before. “I swear it.”

*

“…infected wound … MacFustys will have a fit … Poppy doesn't have the faintest idea what she can possibly do…”

“…you know I'm pals with ol' Alasdair MacFusty…I'm sure if I put a word in, he'd be fine if we, oh, I don't know, put down one of his pets…”

Remus stirred at the sound of hadn't even noticed that he'd fallen asleep on the floor of the Room of Requirement, head nestled in the pages of an especially thick textbook. Oh, Salazar, how late was it?

Groaning softly, he rose from his position. Archie was fast asleep, and, even in the dark, Remus could see the sickening injuries, hideous and wet. It was too dark to clearly see anything else, and Remus had to fumble around to find his wand.

“ _Lumos_ ,” he said. They'd practiced the Wand-Lighting Charm earlier in the year and, sure enough, a lemon-yellow light appeared at the tip of his wand.

“…Goodness, Horace,  _put the dragon down_? That's absurd, you know why the dragon is here, Dumbledore needs it for – you know what…”

With a jolt, Remus realised that the murmured voices were coming from outside the Room of Requirement.

“Yes, yes, very well then,” muttered a voice that Remus recognised as Professor Slughorn. “This damned door won't appear! Are you sure this is the Room of Requirement?”

His throat ran dry. Professors? Here? It was most definitely past curfew, and if they'd caught him out of the dorms at night, he'd certainly get detention. He'd lose House points, just like James, Sirius, and Peter so often did.

“Oh, I'll do it then,” said Professor McGonagall's voice snappily. Remus heard faint footsteps, what he assumed was the professor walking past the wall three times, thinking hard, like she had taught him.

Remus panicked. He muttered the counter-charm, “ _Nox_ ,” which was always more difficult than the regular charm. This time, he managed it, his wand's light blinking out, and he tiptoed to the right. He crouched behind a shelf just as the two Professors walked in.

He heard the shifting of bricks, and then the opening of a door, its hinges whining similarly to how Archie did. Footsteps pattered into the room, and Remus held his breath.

“It's quite dark,” remarked McGonagall. Remus heard a faint swish of a wand and then a dozen torches appeared out of nowhere, bright flames illuminating the room. Remus tensed, but he was behind the shelf, and they couldn't see him.

“Merlin's beard,” said Slughorn's voice. There was the sound of him walking closer. “This is awful, the poor beast. The wounds  _are_ infected. There's nothing anyone can do, yes?”

Slowly, Remus rose from his position. The teachers seemed to be distracted.

There was the sound of McGonagall making a sound of sad agreement. “I'm afraid that's what Poppy said, and she's the best Healer in Britain. It will die in a matter of months.”

There was silence. Remus glanced once – the Professors were completely enraptured with Archie's sleeping body. He began to creep towards the door, which was thankfully nearby.

“Oh, goodness, its bandages are torn.  _Reparo_.”

Remus assumed that McGonagall had magically fixed the bandages, but he didn't stop to turn around. He tiptoed out the door and into the corridor and let himself breathe a sigh of relief. He silently promised to visit Archie later, and that he  _would_ do something to help.

Thank  _Godric_  Gryffindor Tower was nearby. Remus only had to walk past the corner of this corridor, turn right and walk straight –

A bizarre sight met Remus. It was Sirius Black, running at top speed down the hallway, being chased by what looked like a cat. They were rapidly approaching Remus, who stood there, still and shocked.

“Run!” Sirius hissed once he'd spotted Remus.

Today was a very odd day indeed.

Remus hesitated for a second. Then, for some reason putting his trust into Sirius, he bolted in the direction he'd come from, Sirius tailing close behind.  _Pant, pant._ The people in the portraits grumbled as they dashed past. The brick walls were a blurin the periphery of Remus's vision. Remus glanced back one time, and he saw a terrifying cat leaping and bounding towards them, bright yellow eyes glaring at him.

Once Sirius had caught up to him, sending Remus a grin, he jabbed a finger to the right. “Quick, turn here,” he said in between huffs.

They suddenly turned right at a corridor, then ducked behind a wall, throwing off the cat, who hissed in confusion. They lay flat against the wall, desperate for the cat not to find them. Remus's heart pounded in his chest. After ten tense seconds, the quiet sound of the cat's mewl echoed through the corridor as it padded further away.

“What was that?” Remus gasped finally.

“ _That_ ,” Sirius panted (though he seemed less exhausted than Remus, despite having run longer; Remus cursed his unfitness), “was Mrs Norris. Filch's cat.”

Remus vaguely recalled an unattractive, hunchbacked old man who regularly passed out punishments.

“Look, they're probably still patrolling,” Sirius said quietly. He had already gotten over the exhaustion? “I know somewhere where we can hide.”

“ _Hide_?”

“Trust me. We'll only stay there about a half hour or so.”

Remus personally thought a half hour was quite a long time, but he quietly followed Sirius as he led him wherever his hiding place was. After they passed yet another corridor, ducking so the paintings didn't awaken and alert anyone of their presence, Sirius paused at a cupboard, with a lock and chain around its two knobs. It was pushed to the side of the hallway and was easy to miss.

“It's locked,” said Remus.

Sirius tutted. “Patience, Lupin.” Then he walked up to the cupboard and twisted the two knobs three times to the right, and two times to the left. Then the lock and chain shuddered, then magically loosened.

Remus gaped. “How did – how did you know about that?”

Sirius grinned mischievously again, and Remus silently thought that grinning at inappropriate moments was a very Sirius trait. “It's a secret,” he said infuriatingly.

They took the lock and chain so they could open the cupboard. It smelt musty, and only just managed to fit both of them. Remus sat on the right side, Sirius on the left, facing each other. They shut the doors as quietly as they could.

“Don't worry, it'll lock back again,” Sirius said and, sure enough, the metal rattling of a chain sounded.

“How do we get back out?” demanded Remus, who stupidly hadn't thought about that yet.

Sirius, again, flashed a smile, which was only barely visible in the darkness. “You just have to knock thrice on the right side, then twice on the left. Then it'll open.”

“How do you  _know_ about all this?” marvelled Remus. The Hogwarts castle truly was alive and brimmed with magic. He was jealous of Sirius's apparent knowledge of the place.

“James's dad,” said Sirius, as if talking about a hero. “A legend, that man. Told James all about the 'lil nooks and crannies in the castle. Granted, it's been a while since he was here. The false step on the staircase's been fixed since.”

“Wow…”

“OK, now you tell me a secret,” Sirius said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Why are you out of bed this late?”

Huh? “What?”

“I told you a secret, so you tell me a secret. Secret for secret,” Sirius said. “Why are you out so late?”

“Well – well, why are  _you_ out?” spluttered Remus.  _Secret_? Telling people his secrets … the thought of it made Remus queasy. What would Lyall say? Remus squirmed.

“I was planning a prank on Slytherin house, was trying to work out how to get into their Common Room. Then Filch caught me, and sicked his cat on me,” said Sirius easily. “Now you owe me two.”

Remus was flustered, but gave in. “Fine. I was out because I accidentally fell asleep doing homework. Then, I tried to get back to the Common Room but ran into you.” This was technically true, if only half-true.

The other boy paused, but then laughed quietly. “Of  _course,_ you're out to do something swotty. Typical Lupin.”

Remus bristled, something inside of him wanting to prove Sirius wrong.

“One more,” Sirius said.

“Well, I don't have any more secrets.” Any more secrets that Remus felt like saying, at least. Archie was probably best kept to himself, and his lycanthropywas  _definitely_ a secret worth keeping.

“Hmm.” Sirius seemed to think on this for a second. “Fine, can I ask you something then?”

Remus nodded slightly, but then realised Sirius probably couldn't see. “Sure.”

“You promise to answer?”

Remus, feeling as if he couldn't do anything else, reluctantly agreed, hoping to Godric that it was nothing related to Archie or being a werewolf.

“Are you…” Sirius hesitated. “What was your problem with your family about?”

It took Remus a second to realise that Sirius was talking about what he had said on the train to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays. It seemed like some time ago. “Oh. Well, this is going to sound a bit odd, but–”

“Wait, shh,” Sirius whispered. “I think I hear something.”

A stressful minute followed. There was the faint sound of footsteps, and of annoyed muttering. However, thankfully nobody came near them.

“Phew. Okay. Continue.”

Remus hesitated, wondering how much of the truth he had to omit to be able to tell Sirius. Should he even tell Sirius?

 _Reach out_ , the voice inside his head said again.

Remus didn't understand. Did the voice want him to reach out to Sirius and gave him a pat on the head like Archie?

“Well,” he said awkwardly, “my dad doesn't want me to have friends, you see. Don't ask why,” he said, predicting that Sirius was about to, “but I'm not meant to. My dad and I had a bit of a row over it at Christmas dinner.”

“Oh,” Sirius said. He sounded deep in thought. “That's why … okay.”

“Hmm?”

He heard Sirius swallow. “Nothing. Stuff just makes more sense now.”

He was probably thinking of Remus's aloof nature, his polite but not friendly conversations. Remus squirmed once more. Should he really have told Sirius?

“Please don't tell anyone,” he said and Sirius snorted.

“Mate, of  _course_ ,” he said. Remus wouldn't be surprised if Sirius was rolling his eyes by the tone he took. “Called a secret for a reason. Wouldn't even tell James.”

This strangely comforted Remus, and the tension in his shoulders softened.

“Hey, Remus?”

“Yeah?”

A pause. “Can I ask one more thing?”

Remus felt less stressed now. “Secret for secret,” he teased, but Sirius took it seriously, it seemed.

“Of course,” said Sirius dismissively. “Well – uh – my question is … who's in your family? And – uh – tell me about them.”

This was entirely not a question that Remus had been expecting. “Um, well, it's just me, my mum, and my dad. No cousins, no aunts or uncles. My mum's really nice – she's a Muggle – and, well, my dad's a bit of a pain. Kind of controlling. But he's okay.”

Sirius made a thoughtful noise. “That sounds very nice.”

“How 'bout you?” Remus asked suddenly. Something inside of him – was it the same voice? – willed him to ask more, to reach out.

“I have my little brother Reggie, he's really sweet, but a big suck-up,” said Sirius, laughing, then he stopped. “My mum's quite a nagger, always telling me I'm wrong and I'm a bad boy. And my dad, well, he's not as annoying, but when he's mad, he's so much worse.” Sirius shook his head, pausing for a bit.

Sirius continued, “I have cousins, some are all right. Bella's a pain, a big suck-up like my brother, always getting me in trouble – but 'Dromeda? She's the best. She's hilarious. Cissy, that's their little sister, she's all right. Kind of a suck-up too – Godric, my family's full of suck-ups – but she minds her business.”

Remus listened to Sirius ramble interestedly. Sirius had so much to say about his family, which seemed quite large, or at least large compared to Remus's own.

Sirius hesitated once more. “Remus? Do you … do you love your family?” From the way Sirius said it, Remus could tell it had been on his mind for a while.

Huh. What a strange question. Remus had to think about it for quite a bit. Sure, he loved his mum – she was always there for him without him ever needing to ask for anything. She was kind, and thoughtful, and showed her love for Remus clear as day.

Lyall was a different question. Did he love Lyall? Remus shifted awkwardly. Lyall was controlling, he was short-tempered, he didn't listen when Remus had something to say.

But he also taught Remus everything Remus knew. He ruffled Remus's head, and tucked him in at night. He was always concerned for Remus's wellbeing, if not in the kindest ways. He was Remus's hero. Though it wasn't as obvious as his mum, Remus admitted grudgingly that his dad loved him as well.

“Remus?”

“Yeah, I'm just thinking. Okay, yeah. I do. I love my family.”

“Okay,” said Sirius. His voice was quiet – they were both quiet, but Sirius had gone even quieter. “I … I don't know if I love my family,” Sirius admitted.

Oh. That was a heavy thought. “I see,” said Remus.

“That's bad, right? I  _should_  love my family. Like, I see James and hear him talk about his family and I can tell he really loves them.” Sirius sighed.

“Not every family is perfect,” Remus said carefully. “And you're not bad if you don't know how you feel.”

Another pause. The only sound was the two of them breathing.

“Thanks, Remus.”

Remus awkwardly reached out his hand and patted Sirius's knee. “It's okay. Or at least – it will be,” he said, echoing what he told Archie earlier.

Sirius made another thoughtful noise. “Thanks, mate. And–” he hesitated. “You can always ask me for help, if you need it.”

Remus was strangely gratified by this. What a kind thing for Sirius to say. He saw a flash of a toothy, white grin in the darkness.

“That was a secret, okay? Don't tell anyone,” Sirius said, sounding a little panicky, even though he had acted like Remus was silly for saying it before.

“Of course,” Remus said simply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This is the longest chapter so far. I just want to say thank you to everybody who's been reading this fic. I really appreciate it!


	12. First Year: Cure-All-Cuts Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus almost dropped his jaw. "Right? He's–"
> 
> "–so–"
> 
> "–so much more–"
> 
> "–cool," they both finished, and then laughed.

— CHAPTER TWELVE —

**_Cure-All-Cuts Cream_ **

 

A little while passed before they agreed the coast was clear and left the cupboard to tiptoe back to bed. Remus lay awake a long time after Sirius had settled down.

It was the strangest Remus had ever felt. Certainly, weirder than learning that he was a werewolf, or that despite this, he was allowed to go to Hogwarts. A touch odder than befriending a dragon.

It was the night's effects and the lack of sleep, Remus told himself firmly. He would never have let himself become so open to anybody ever before.

But then, he realised that certainly it hadn't been Remus who'd been the one to make himself vulnerable – it was most definitely Sirius. Remus shifted uncomfortably in his bed, thinking about all that Sirius had said. It had seemed that these thoughts had been living in Sirius's mind for a long time.

Why had Sirius told Remus those things so freely? He couldn't possibly enjoy or like Remus. Did Sirius have particularly loose lips, prone to spilling out everything that he knew, thought and felt? Remus shuddered at the thought of Sirius telling people what Remus had disclosed, but then remembered his adamant resolve to keeping what went on between them a secret.

Remus, despite himself, felt something in his stomach for Sirius akin to how he felt about Archie – a need to pity, to support, to defend.

Remus shook his head against his pillow and the thoughts were shaken away. This was definitely not what he should be focusing on. Archie's health was severely declining. He could be dead in a matter of months, and Remus needed to do something about it.

*

“Hey, Severus?” said Remus, after the first years were filing out of the Potions dungeons.

Severus shot him a suspicious look, but then his face relaxed. He had since gotten over his anger, to Remus at least. Perhaps Lily had convinced Severus that Remus had no part in the breakfast incident. Remus, still weary, walked over, his books held to his chest defensively.

“Hello, Remus.” Severus paused as Remus made his way over to him, and he bid goodbye to his Slytherin friends. “What do you need?”

Remus hesitated. It had taken Remus a lot of courage, more than a week's worth of debating with his own self on whether it was a good idea. He eventually reasoned that asking for help in this instance wasn't letting himself be vulnerable – it was for a good cause.

He would've asked Lily, but Lily was not like Severus. While Lily was book smart and knew lots of potions and their properties from listening in class, Severus had natural talent. He was up to his eyes in Potions.

Remus, though he did want to work on it himself, found himself drowning in schoolwork. Really, his visits with Archie were pretty much filled with him finishing off the new Transfiguration quiz he had to study for – or the new Charm that they were expected to perfect.

And so, he came to the conclusion that Severus was the best choice.

“I was wondering,” said Remus, “if you knew the recipes to any good potions for curing, you know, gashes. Infections. Stuff like that.”

“Is it for the cuts on your arm?” Severus asked.

Remus was so startled he almost dropped his books. “Sorry?”

“The cuts,” he said impatiently. “You have cuts all over your arms.”

Remus was momentarily stunned by the blunt observation. How–? When had he noticed that about Remus? Not even Sirius, who was always curious about Remus, had brought that up. Severus, he thought sincerely, must have a very sharp eye.

“Oh, yeah, you're right,” said Remus, recovering quickly. “Not just my arms. I'm really injury prone.”

Severus did not look entirely convinced, but however did offer to find any potions that would hopefully help Remus. He thanked Severus a bunch and then left to go to dinner. He took a seat next to Lily at the Gryffindor table, but gave Sirius a little wave hello.

Remus was pretty sure that they were friends now, but he was extremely suspicious of Sirius. He wondered if that whole conversation they had had together was a ruse, a big, long-running prank to make Remus seem like he had friends. Lily, he thought, was safe. Sirius, not so much.

“Saw you talking to Severus earlier,” Lily said in between bites.

“Thankfully he's over that whole breakfast incident,” said Remus, grabbing a knife and fork on the table.

Lily hesitated. “I don't think he is. I think maybe he's just not mad at you anymore.”

“Well, I didn't  _do_ anything. Anyway, he'll make it up to me. I asked him to research a potion for me.”

“Oh?” said Lily curiously. “What for?”

Remus squinted at her. “I was curious.”

“I see,” she said, and nothing more of the topic was mentioned.

“Yes, well, anyway,” Lily continued, “I finished  _Moon at Noon_.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “Well?”

“I'm very happy with the ending,” Lily admitted, and he groaned. “I  _knew_ Cynthia would end up with Eric. I'm so glad.”

“Nooo. I  _hate_ that they got engaged. I almost threw the book down – I can't believe she left Tate.”

Lily stuffed her mouth with pudding smugly. “Definitely not. Eric is so much more of a better fit.”

He shook his head. “They're too  _safe_.”

“She  _needs_ safe if she's going to be defeating the Cult of Azulan in the next book.”

Remus disagreed thoroughly. “She and Tate fought off the Gregorian Gorgons  _together_.”

“By the way,” Lily said, her voice taking an apologetic tone. “I couldn't finish  _The Sea and Its Song_. The one by Melody Marin.”

“Why not?”

“It's too boring for me. Doesn't have enough action. Not like  _Moon at Noon_.”

Remus shrugged, disappointed.  _The Sea and Its Song_ was one of his new favourite wizarding novels.

The next day, Severus had a piece of paper for Remus with a long set of instructions for a potion called Cure-All-Cuts Cream. At first glance, they seemed difficult. In fact, as Remus read over them during History of Magic, the instructions seemed almost impossible to follow.

First, Severus had a small, untidy scrawl. Second, the ingredients to the potion were not only a foot long, but also were very specific. Cycles of the moon – Remus gagged – had to be taken into account, and certain stirring techniques needed to be remembered. Third, Remus was not that great at Potions in the first place.

Well, if it was for Archie, then Remus would do anything.

Thus, Remus put aside his schoolwork for now, and instead went to the Room of Requirement every afternoon to continue brewing the Cure-All-Cuts Cream. Thankfully, the room Archie was in had plenty of cauldrons stored in cupboards, but Remus had to venture a bit to be able to find the right ingredients for the potion.

Another blessing was that Remus could pretend that the ingredients he was collecting from the Professor Sprout's greenhouses, like Vicious Vine extract, was also for the Wiggenweld Potion he was supposed to be brewing for the end-of-year assessment. Remus winced at the thought – he really should be getting started on that potion.

Finally, after about a week of gruelling and intricate work, with very specific measurements and stirring, Remus finished the Cure-All-Cuts Cream, which ended up being a thick, green, shiny potion that, honestly, looked a bit like jelly. Remus had poured the potion into a little container and set it aside for the next day.

“Hey, have you started the Wiggenweld?” Sirius asked the next morning. It was a Saturday morning and they were inside their dorm, not having gone down to breakfast yet.

They talked more nowadays, but still not too much. Sirius, of course, had closer friends to hang out with and talk to. And Remus, of course, was still wary about Sirius, still sure that he was playing some huge practical joke on him.

“No, but I really should.”

Sirius slumped down next to Remus on his bed, which slightly irritated Remus, who had just made his bed.

“Wanna go and start on it?” Sirius asked. “I swear I'll make it fun.”

Hmm. Remus  _had_ been planning on taking the Cure-All-Cuts and attempting to apply it on Archie's belly, but he did also need to start the Wiggenweld. And, well, Sirius was quite fun to be around.

“Don't think anyone can make Potions fun,” said Remus, but he was grinning as they made their way down from Gryffindor tower all the way to the bottom floor of the Hogwarts castle, chattering casually.

“Looks like we'll need Wiggentree bark from Professor Sprout,” said Remus, reading off the ingredients list in his hand.

“Hey, mate,” said Sirius as they walked down the long staircase out the school. “I agree with you, you know.”

“Hmm?”

They had started walking down the lawn, which, as winter began to depart, and spring began to arrive, looked a lot nicer. In fact, it was a lovely day – the sunlight shone on the cold day, and trees had begun to slowly gain their greenness again. Today the Whomping Willow looked nice and harmless, though Remus knew from the full moon a week ago that it was far from harmless. If Remus squinted he could see the dark, threatening Forbidden Forest in the distance, which marred the beauty of the day. Remus shuddered – he hoped he never had to go near there.

“Cynthia should've ended up with Tate,” said Sirius simply.

Remus almost dropped his jaw. “Right? He's–”

“–so–”

“–so much more–”

“– _cool_ ,” they both finished, and then laughed.

“Remember when he and Eric were stuck with those Inferi in the Gruesome Garden?”

Remus nodded. “And he saved them by Summoning his broom. Eric wouldn't stop whining the whole time, even when they escaped.”

“What a git.” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Yep. Cynthia made the wrong choice.”

“Don't worry,” Sirius said. “Read tons of romance novels before – my mum made me – and I know in all the ones with the love triangles – the girl always looks like she's going to choose one of them, but then at the end she chooses the other.”

“I'm surprised you read it,” admitted Remus.

“What, you thought I just forgot about it?

Remus confessed that he had in fact thought that.

“It was a  _birthday_ present,” said Sirius, appalled.

“Not really,” Remus said dismissively. “It was a library book.”

“A good one, though.”

Their conversation was interrupted once they arrived at the greenhouses. Professor Sprout was there, tending to a garden of shaking flowers that spat an awful-smelling, clear liquid if anyone got too close. Professor Sprout commented that Remus had come down to the greenhouses a lot more often, which made Sirius give Remus a suspicious look; Remus innocently managed to deflect this.

“I can't believe you read books, even if your mum makes you,” said Remus, laughing. “Would've thought it'd be too nerdy for you.”

Sirius said, “Wait. I have to admit something. Secret for secret?”

Remus agreed.

“Okay. My mum doesn't actually tell me to read anything, she doesn't give two rat's arses what I read. Don't know why I kept it a secret.” Sirius admitted. “Well, actually, she might call me a poof for reading romance novels.”

Remus twisted his mouth. “That's not nice.”

Sirius shrugged, but his expression was defensive. “Doesn't matter. Your turn.”

It took Remus a second to realise that Sirius was talking about a secret. “Oh, well, okay, fine. I  _have_ gone to the greenhouses a lot, but not to make the Wiggenweld. I'm actually making a potion that Severus gave me the instructions for. Not sure why I kept that from you either.”

The other boy made a face. “Severus? Wouldn't trust that git with a Knut.”

“He's not  _that_ bad–”

The rest of the day they spent talking about books and compiling their ingredients together. In fact, Sirius had also read  _The Sea and Its Song_ but didn't really remember it, and Remus made him promise that he would read it again. Really, with lessons, Severus's instructions, and now Wiggenweld, Remus had done quite a lot of potion-making. Too much potion-making for a lifetime.

Remus realised at the end of the afternoon that Sirius had spent the entire day with Remus. Not once had they seen James and Peter. He came to this conclusion while boiling salamander blood for the Wiggenweld.

 _They were probably busy doing something, and you were the only one left for Sirius to hang out with_ , a voice in his head whispered to him.  _Don't feel special_.

Remus sighed, and, in his lack of focus, he forgot to remove the glass vial containing the salamander blood from the fire in time. The vial suddenly exploded. “Oh, no!” The glass shattered everywhere, and both Remus and Sirius yelled out in shock.

The blood was sizzling, spilling everywhere. Sirius was cradling his arm; some glass had cut his arm, but he didn't look in pain at all. “Don't worry, it doesn't hurt.”

Sirius began to pick up the shards.

“Oh, I'm so sorry – stupid me –” Remus was rambling as he went to clean up the salamander blood, staring at the little cuts on Sirius's arm. “You know, I have just the thing.”

After they'd cleaned up the classroom they went back to the dorm. James and Peter were there, and they greeted them. James in particular looked curiously at Sirius and Remus as they walked in together.

Remus hurriedly got out the little container that had the Cure-All-Cuts Cream. “Here, made it myself,” he said and passed it to Sirius, who took it.

The boy applied it to his arm slowly, getting a thick bit of the paste and rubbing it on his forearm.

“It feels nice,” Sirius said, just before he yelled out in excruciating pain as fire-red boils burst into life on his skin.

*

“Well,” Lily said, inspecting the instructions list that Severus had given Remus, “it's definitely a healing potion.”

“A  _shoddy_ one,” James shot back.

“See!” said Severus, ignoring James. “I gave him proper instructions!”

“But…” added Lily hesitantly. “It's definitely complex. Too complex for up to a fifth year to do properly – definitely not a first year.”

James crossed his arms. “So! You gave it to Remus knowing full well that he couldn't brew it properly! What a foul git you are!”

Madam Pomfrey shushed them sternly. “Quiet down or leave, children.”

Remus was with quite possibly the oddest group he had ever been a part of, inside of the Hospital Wing. Under different circumstances he would be here to be escorted to the Whomping Willow with the matron and McGonagall, but today he stood next to hospital beds with James, Peter, Lily, and Severus. Sirius was in the hospital bed that Remus was standing next to, presumably sleeping. He was covered with loads of blankets, probably due to the horrible pimples that had grown all over his skin.

“It's not my fault,” Severus sneered, “that Lupin can't brew potions. He asked for instructions, so I gave him them. I'm not to blame if he's bad at potions; I was only helping him.”

Remus looked down at his feet shamefully. In truth, he did feel terrible. He couldn't believe that the Cure-All-Cuts Cream had gone so horribly wrong – and he felt bad that Sirius had been the victim of Remus's shoddy potionmaking. Surely Sirius wouldn't want to be friends anymore.

James made an indignant noise. “You sneaky,  _slimy_ –” He paused, breathing. “You know that Remus isn't great with potions. If you really wanted to help, you would've made it yourself. You  _tricked_ poor Remus!”

Remus glanced at him with surprise. He was shocked that James was defending him. It felt strangely good to be protected by someone.

Peter was nose-deep in a textbook for advanced potions.

“Aha! Here it is,” he said suddenly. “ _Cure-All-Cuts Cream is a highly advanced potion that is difficult to brew. This is due to the very specific conditions of the ingredients. Most wizards and witches will be more equipped to brewing Riggleroot Potion or using Murtlap Essence_. Godric, look at these instructions. Even Slughorn would be confused by this.”

“No, he wouldn't,” said Severus. “Just because you are all bad at Potions –”

James ignored him, and snatched the instructions list from Lily, who made a surprised noise. “Here, Pete, compare them.”

Peter huffed as he inspected the paper and the textbook. “They're different! Flier wing flies on this, and fire wing flies on this one – Silkflower petals aren't even mentioned here –”

Remus looked up. Severus had given him flawed instructions?

“ _SEE_?” James roared, making Remus jump a little. “What a dirty little trick! Apologise to Remus, now!”

Severus looked at Remus, and in the most simpering voice, said, “I'm sorry you can't brew to save your life.”

“It was obviously an accident,” Lily said, sounding incredibly flustered as James attempted to jump at Severus, held back by Peter. “Stop riling Severus up!”

“Snivellus here keeps talking about how great at potions he is,” said Peter. “If he's so good, it can't have been an accident.”

Lily finally huffed. She'd clearly had enough. “C'mon, Severus. We're leaving. Remus, I'm really sorry about Black, I hope he gets better.”

She then left with Severus, who did nothing but give Remus a smug smile as he left.

Remus, feeling a sense of increasing horror, realised that Severus had done it on purpose. For what? To get back at him about – what? That stupid breakfast incident that Remus had had  _nothing_ to do with? The horror swirled into growing anger.

“Lily, let me talk to Severus for a bit,” he said as they were leaving out the door.

Lily sighed. “I'll be waiting outside.”

“You'll never find that dragon, you know,” Remus said to Severus, because it was the most biting thing he could think of. “ _Never_.”

Severus looked affronted. “What–?”

“I know for sure you won't,” Remus added, and then Severus stalked off.

Remus then came back into the Hospital Wing. James and Peter were now sitting next to Sirius's bed.

“What'd you say to him?” James said, looking cross.

“I told him off,” Remus said, feeling equally as cross.

James's face softened. “Good. Nice one, mate.”

Peter nodded. “Deserves all the telling offs in the world, that one.”

Remus sighed and slumped into an empty chair next to Peter. “Sorry again for all of this.”

James shook his head so hard it looked like it might fall off. “Not at  _all_. Anybody who's wronged by Severus – or any Slytherin – is a friend.”

Peter nodded, smiling.

Remus gulped, but it wasn't a bad feeling. It was strangely heart-warming how quickly and carelessly James handed out his friendship. If it had been the beginning of the year, Remus would've hidden at this proclamation, and never spoken to any of them again.

“Evans and Snivellus are gone now,” James told Sirius. “You can take the sheets off.”

“Don't wanna,” came Sirius's mumbled voice beneath the blankets.

“Stop being such a girl,” said James.

As if being a girl was the worst thing in the world, Sirius pulled off the sheets in an instant. “There, happy?”

His face was pockmarked with grotesque, pulsating warts. Even his hands, which were pulling down the blankets, were marred with bright red spots. His face was pulled into such an uncomfortable expression that Remus's heart panged.

“You don't look any different,” Remus said, and the other three boys in the room burst into such loud laughter that Madam Pomfrey told them to shush once more.

For the first time in hours, Remus felt good, and for the first time in a good while, Remus felt as if he had friends.


	13. First Year: Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Never got a detention?" Sirius asked loudly as they walked to dinner. "Guys – Lupin here is a detention virgin!"

— CHAPTER THIRTEEN —

**_Friends_**

 

“Severus is really sorry,” Lily told Remus during Defence Against the Dark Arts. Tacey had given them an extension for their phoenixes, dragons, and fire crabs essay, and was reading silently at her desk. “Like, really sorry.”

Remus doubted it, as he was still angry at Severus, but said, “Good,” nonetheless.

“And what about you?” asked Lily pointedly. Confused, he looked at her – she had raised eyebrows.

“Am I sorry? To Severus? For what?”

Lily huffed. “No! Boys are so stupid,” she said and uttered no more words for the rest of the lesson.

That night was the full moon, so Remus had to sadly avoid visiting Archie that evening. It was unfortunate – Remus spent most of his time either finishing off homework or researching ways to help Archie's infection. He'd found Riggleroot flowers and had tried rubbing Riggleroot Extract on Archie's wounds, which only served to irritate the dragon.

The next day, the transformation was so awful that he to stay in the Hospital Wing the next day – perhaps it was because Remus's head was occupied with thoughts about Archie harming himself, or because growing older meant the werewolf was stronger. In fact, it would be Remus's twelfth birthday in a fortnight.

Though he was glad that Sirius had recovered fast enough to be out of the Hospital Wing and thus not see Remus's condition, he was a bit sad that his friend wouldn't be able to keep him company.

Without the distraction, Remus's head was instead filled with worry about Archie. Archie's health loomed over him like a dark shadow. Severus had been no help, so Remus had abandoned some of his studies in order to tend to Archie properly.

He hadn't learnt the Severing Charm properly last lesson with Professor Flitwick, who looked disappointed at Remus's poor attempt to cut a piece of parchment in half. Nor had Remus been able to finish off the planets chart for Professor Estella – nor had he finished off that comparative essay about dragons, phoenixes, and fire crabs for Tacey (he really needed to finish that off.)

All his time was spent finding different plants to soothe pain, which Remus would sneak into food for Archie, which was, unfortunately enough, dead deer. Remus also found that, if Archie was asleep and beside the bars of the cage in an optimal position, Remus could apply Spellotape to the bandages covering his stomach, helping it not break as easily.

The next day, after not allowing Remus to show up for his morning lessons, Madam Pomfrey finally let him to go to lunch. Thus, he showed up to the Gryffindor table, tired and hungry.

Curiously enough, once he'd arrived, James, Sirius, and Peter beckoned him over to sit with them, something that had never happened before. Remus inched towards them.

“Where were you all morning?” asked Sirius.

“His mother's sick, remember?” James hissed at Sirius, loud enough for Remus to hear.

“Visiting my mother,” he told Sirius, who merely shrugged. “Where's Lily?”

James laughed. “Mate – you won't believe it. She's in detention.”

“ _Detention_?”

Sirius sniggered. “Yeah! She talked back to Tacey and everything.”

“More like  _yelled_  back,” supplied Peter.

Remus was amazed – he couldn't ever imagine Lily getting in trouble with a teacher. “What for?”

“Something stupid, 'cause Tacey skipped the banshees chapter or something.”

Remus laughed. Of  _course,_ the only thing Lily would get in trouble with a teacher with was for asking for more work.

“Hey, let's go outside,” suggested James. “Heard the Giant Squid's come out a lot more than usual 'cause of the weather.”

Remus was taken aback. James was inviting, not just Sirius and Peter, but Remus too, outside. That had  _never_ happened before. He hesitated, his mind frazzled.

“Come on, Lupin,” said Sirius, and Remus joined them.

They spent the rest of lunch chattering and went outside to the lawn. As spring got closer and closer, flowers began to bloom on the grass under their feet and the cold days warmed up considerably.

Remus, too, felt his insides warm considerably. The other three boys were very being friendly to him. Of course, he had already been friends with Sirius for a little while, and he always partnered with Peter for things, and James had always been kind to him – but now, he felt they were on the way to being proper … friends? The thought both scared and excited Remus.

“Boys,” James announced to all of them once they were out in the lawn, sprawled on the grass. “We have to discuss the matter of a revenge prank.”

Remus and Peter exchanged a confused glance, but Sirius seemed to know what James was talking about, judging by his dark expression. “Against that git Snivellus, yes?”

Remus now shared their sentiment that Severus was awful. He still couldn't fathom that the Slytherin boy had given Remus the wrong instructions – and now he couldn't fathom that he'd put his blind trust in him.

However, Remus was a bit worried about the whole pranking business. He wasn't sure he had ever broken a rule unlike James and Sirius, and occasionally Peter – he didn't want to get in trouble.

And he still couldn't  _believe_ how quickly the other three boys had taken Remus under their wing – Remus now had come the conclusion that they weren't pranking him. Why were they being so nice?

James nodded resolutely. “Good man. For playing a dirty trick on Remus here, and then giving you all those boils.” Sirius bristled at the memory. “The question is, how?”

“Levitating his stuff was pretty good,” Peter mused, but James shook his head adamantly.

“We can't do the same prank twice. We need to pull off something  _unique_.”

The four of them pondered. After a few seconds, James slumped onto the ground next to Sirius.

“Got nothing.”

“Same.”

“Well, what do you think he's scared of?” wondered Peter.

“Stupid greasy-haired idiot,” grumbled Sirius. “I reckon the only thing he's scared of is a bit of shampoo and conditioner.”

The four of them laughed – but then Remus had an idea. “Hey, going on with that, why not do just that?”

James quirked an eyebrow. “Explain.”

“Why not,” Remus said slowly, “charm some shampoo to chase Severus – maybe after Potions or something.” When none of them responded, Remus quickly took back his words. “I know you already levitated his stuff – sorry, it's too similar.”

“No, no,” James said, startled.

“It's brilliant,” Peter added.

A grin started to form on Sirius's face. “It'd be a laugh.”

The panic in Remus's stomach subsided, and he grinned back. “Right?”

*

So, it was decided by the four of them. That night they stocked as many shampoo and conditioner bottles as were provided by the House Elves in their dorms and brought them down to Potions the next day.

It was admittedly very enjoyable to Remus – he suddenly felt like he had not just one friend, but a group of them to have fun with.

 _Wow_ , he thought.  _These boys are so – so nice!_ He couldn't fathom why they wanted to talk to him.

There was a mischievous glint in James's eye during the Potions lesson conducted by Slughorn – who reminded them again that they had one more term to brew the Wiggenweld – and as soon as they were dismissed, the four of them were bubbling with anticipation.

“Here,” whispered Peter, taking out all the bottles in his robes and holding them in his hands. The other three were doing the same.

“Let's go,” James said, and they began.

“ _Wingardium Leviosa_ ,” hissed Remus, pointing his wand at the shampoo. The other three did the same and, to their delight, the dozen bottles began to float mid-air.  _Jab_! They directed their wands towards Severus, who was walking down the corridor with his Slytherin friends, and the hygiene products began to fly.

“Wha– OW!” yelped Severus, grabbing his head.

The several bottles had made contact with Severus's head, and were incessantly prodding at him. He tried to duck, but they kept coming at him. Sirius and James began to guffaw once a few of the bottles opened, and shampoo and conditioner began to pour in earnest over Severus's hair and robes.

“First shower you've had, eh?” James called, but Severus could not respond, because the bottles would not stop prodding at his head.

He began to run, his Slytherin friends jumping out of the way, and the bottles followed. The four of them giggled – it was a long corridor, so they watched Severus run, shampoo and conditioner in quick pursuit.

“Hmph!” It was Lily, who looked disapprovingly at them – especially Remus – but said nothing as she turned and chased after Severus.

They were laughing hard as they went down the corridor Severus had gone down, chattering about the achievement.

“That was  _so_ good,” James said, clapping Remus on the back. A warm feeling spread in Remus's chest.  _Wow_. “Simple too. And effective.”

“Your girlfriend's mad at us though,” Sirius noted to Remus.

Remus was bristling, about to tell him that Lily was definitely not his girlfriend, but he was stopped from answering by Professor Tacey.

She stood in their way, eyes blazing, her grey hair rustling, and a very stern expression across her face that McGonagall would've been proud of. Clearly, she had run into Severus on the way. She aggressively wrote on a piece of paper that detailed their punishment.

Together, they lost five points apiece for Gryffindor for harassing a classmate, and they also got the pleasure of having detention with her that evening. They also had to apologise to a furious, humiliated Severus (whose hair, Remus thought, looked a bit cleaner, so really, they had done him a favour.)

“Never got a detention?” Sirius asked loudly as they walked to dinner. “Guys – Lupin here is a detention  _virgin_!”

Remus coughed at the word choice, but nevertheless found Sirius's outburst funny. “Never lost any House points either.”

Sirius gawked. “Godric – you really are a swot. Glad we managed to bring you to the right side, eh?”

“Yeah,  _finally_ ,” said Peter.

James said, “We've been wondering for ages why you didn't wanna hang out with us.”

Remus and Sirius shared a quick glance. Sirius knew at least somewhat the reason, but neither of them said anything. The conversation continued easily, and Remus couldn't remember ever laughing so much.

He wasn't sure why, but it was like the other three boys had suddenly taken him under their wing. And it felt good.

Detention with Tacey was strange, and Remus wondered if all detentions were quite like this. Firstly, Tacey had left instructions on the board to rearrange all her books in alphabetical order, and for the first half she remained at her desk, paying attention only to her books. After about a silent half hour, she abruptly got up and exited the classroom, leaving the four of them inside.

“Why do you think she left?” asked Peter, who curiously stared out the door.

“Who cares?” said Sirius, grinning. “Now we get to have fun.”

“Right,” James said, matching Sirius's smile. “Let's have a look at the stuff she's reading.”

“I hope it's something dirty,” added Sirius, and James shoved him.

“I–” started Remus, but then he looked at them. He had been about to tell them he didn't think that looking through her things was a good idea, and that they were breaking even more rules. They were sure to get even  _more_ punishments.

He thought back on all the fun he had had in the past day – about how fast the other three had let Remus join them in their fun, and at the Gryffindor table. He thought about how  _good_ he had felt – how much happier he was as a result of this. He thought about the warmth in his chest every time they were nice to him.

Did he really want to jeopardise all that because he was a rule-abiding ninny? Of course not.

“I think that's a great idea,” finished Remus, and the other three laughed.

“I reckon she reads those romance novels,” Peter said thoughtfully as they got up to approach Tacey's desk. “Lots of witches do.”

Sirius snorted. “Nah – only sissies do.”

Remus stopped.  _Sissies?_

“Yeah, Sirius would know,” James joked. “It's all Sirius can read.”

“I do  _not_ ,” Sirius said vehemently, giving James a punch on his shoulder.

Remus wondered why Sirius was so violently in denial – after all, he  _did_ read romance stories. They'd talked about them before. Did Sirius think Remus was a sissy too, because he read those books?

Then he thought about it: Remus didn't want any of them to think that  _he_ was a sissy. They might not want to hang out with him anymore. Remus panicked at the idea – they'd just started to be friends, too!

Hmm. Remus understood Sirius, so he said nothing.

“Whoa, look,” said James. “It's all crap about dark creatures and stuff.”

Truly, they were all old memoirs and books about stories with wizards and witches battling evil monsters – vampires, dragons, banshees, trolls. Tacey's desk was covered with them. It seemed that she was very interested in all these stories.

“Boring,” said Sirius, disappointed.

“She used to be a monster hunter,” supplied Remus, who didn't want their fun to end. “She was part of a group – the Creature Catchers, I think.”

“Oh, I remember them!” said James, suddenly excited. “My dad idolised them. They were  _really_ famous.”

“Didn't they all die terribly?” asked Peter, sounding worried.

“Dunno,” James said. “How'd you know she's a part of them, Remus?”

“Lily told me. She's obsessed with Tacey, wants to know why she doesn't talk.”

“Pretty good friends with Evans, huh?” said Sirius.

Remus, though he didn't know why, felt uncomfortable. “Yeah.”

It was at that moment Professor Tacey returned to the classroom. She took one look at them surrounding her desk, rifling through her papers, and looked quite mad. Her hair almost looked alive with anger. Remus gulped – oh, Godric, they were definitely going to get in more trouble – but Tacey did not hand them more detention slips.

She flicked her wand suddenly and the four boys felt themselves flying away from her desk. Without saying a word, she flicked her wand twice more and the four boys were tumbling out of the classroom. Remus whipped around to stare at her.

Then the door slammed shut.

“What was  _that_ about?” squawked James.

Peter was equally as shocked. “I was sure we'd get detention – at least.”

“Crazy, that woman is,” muttered Sirius. “Using magic on students, is that even allowed?”

Remus said nothing. All he could think about was how, as they were flying out of Tacey's classroom, Tacey had ran over to the papers that they had disturbed. The expression on her face, rather than being livid, was one of … protectiveness?

Interesting. He was definitely going to tell Lily about this.

The four boys went back to Gryffindor Tower, chatting about what had just happened. They decided unanimously that Tacey was nutters.

Remus realised going up there that this was the first time he had ever walked with his other dorm mates up towards the Gryffindor Common Room. The new feeling warmed his chest. It really felt as if they were good friends.

When they said the password to the Fat Lady – “Gobbledygook” – and walked into the Common Room, there were still a few people awake, either playing Gobstones or chess or doing their homework. One of these people was Lily Evans, who glanced at Remus, then furiously back down at her parchment in her lap.

Unnerved, Remus had an early night, and nestled himself in his sheets. He was comforted by the sounds of his new friends.

 _Friends_. The word was foreign, yet familiar. It was a lovely thought to keep as he went to sleep.

However, maybe a few hours later, he was awoken again by the sound of rustling.

It was James, who was surprised that Remus had woken up. He'd been arm-deep into his trunk, searching for something inside. He stood up immediately once he saw Remus.

“Oh, Remus!” he whispered. “You're awake?”

“What'chu doing?” asked Remus groggily from his bed. James was standing near the door.

“Oh –” He looked … apologetic? Remus suddenly noticed that James was holding shimmery, silver robes in his arms. What was that about?

“Sirius, Peter and I are going down to the kitchens. We were going to play a prank on the house elves.”

“Oh, cool,” said Remus, yawning.

“It's just – er – gonna be us three tonight,” said James. He looked sincerely guilty. “Sorry.”

Remus's exhaustion had disappeared in a moment, replaced by a sick, cold feeling in his belly. “Oh, sure. Of course. No worries.”

James looked mollified. “Cool. Goodnight, Lupin.” And then he left out the door.

Remus certainly would not have a good night. The sick feeling would not go away.  _Sigh_  – what had he been thinking?

Of course, he wasn't a part of their group, of  _course_ he wasn't really their friend,  _of course_ they wouldn't really take him on their little journeys together. Remus was just tagging along. A spare, if you will.

Stupid Remus, for thinking anything else.

Stupid Remus.

*

“I don't want to hear it,” Lily snapped.

“What?” Remus was flabbergasted. He had told Lily all about what they had seen of Tacey yesterday. He thought Lily would be super interested to know about it.

They were in History of Magic. The rest of the Gryffindors had fallen asleep, but Remus and Lily, the swots of the class, were awake and trying to listen to Professor Binns drone on.

“I'm not speaking to you, remember?”

Truthfully, Remus had not really noticed that Lily wasn't talking to him. He'd been too distracted by his newfound friends that he hadn't spoken to Lily in a bit.

“Why?” he asked shyly.

Lily flicked her bright red hair over her shoulder, so Remus couldn't see her face.

“Come on, Lils. Is this about the prank we played on Severus?”

“No, but that was awful too,” she snapped back, still not looking at Remus. “I can't believe you're friends with them now.”

Remus hesitated. Was he even really their friend? He discarded the thoughts – they weren't important right now. Lily was.

“They're nice,” he said, hoping he didn't sound too defensive.

“No, they're so mean to Severus.”

“Severus isn't the nicest sometimes either,” countered Remus.

Lily didn't respond.

 _Come on,_ the voice in his head was telling Remus.  _You have to reach out to people._

“Lily, whatever you're mad about,” he said slowly, “I wanna know.”

“Fine.” She flicked her hair behind her shoulder again and looked at Remus. She lowered her voice, but still managed to sound appraising. “I can't believe you told Severus that you know about him looking for the dragon! He's so mad at me for telling you!”

“Oh. Oh, Salazar,” Remus cursed. He remembered telling Severus on the doorstep of the Hospital Wing that he'd never find the dragon. “I didn't think about that.”

“Clearly,” she huffed.

“I'm sorry,” Remus said, and he truly was. “I'm so dumb – I didn't think about how going off at him would impact on you. I was just really angry. I'm really sorry, Lils.”

She said nothing, just stared at him.

The new boys – they were great, Remus knew. But they were different from Lily. He'd been friends with Lily for a while now, and her friendship meant a lot to Remus. After all, she had been his very first friend. And after all, Remus recalled his conversation with James last night with both a tinge of humiliation and bitterness.

“Friends?” he asked, cautiously. His heart pounded in his chest.

“Friends,” she barked, but her smile told Remus that she meant it.

“Anyway, about the Tacey thing –”

“Oh, yeah, I was listening before, that's  _crazy_  – I've been telling you, there's something  _really off_  with that lady…”


	14. First Year: An Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She looks innocent enough," Remus said carefully. "A bit mad, but harmless."
> 
> "A werewolf in sheep's clothing," Lily said sagely, and Remus flinched at the idiom.

— CHAPTER FOURTEEN —

**_An Unexpected Visitor_ **

 

Lily had not been the only thing Remus had neglected to think about while drunk on the high of having new friends – Archie, who, despite Remus's best efforts, seemed to be getting worse each day, was slowly dying.

Entirely apologetic to the unspeaking dragon, Remus focused all attention on finding something that could possibly help Archie. His stupor had been interrupted by his conversation with James the other day – a constant reminder that Remus did not belong.

He'd had his revenge on Severus. Now his annoyance had subsided, replaced by desperation.

Archie's tantrums had dropped to a minimum. He barely had one per week. It was pitiful, and Remus felt awful.

So awful that, in the first week of March, he had barely done any homework at all.

“ _Remus_ ,” Lily implored one day while they were sitting together in the library. “Tacey's already given us so many extensions on this fire creature essay. You have to finish it!”

Remus nodded, but was barely paying attention. He could only focus on Archie … greenish wounds … black blood … torn bandages … a weak dragon's roar …

“Remus!” snapped Lily. “Your work.”

“Fine,” he grumbled. His quill twitched as he went to write on the parchment. He'd already written about how dragons and fire crabs impacted on the lives wizards and witches, he just had to write about phoenixes. They could teleport themselves, and their owners, they could fly, they had magical healing tears, their feathers were used in wands…

“I've been researching more,” admitted Lily, who looked a bit ashamed. “I found this.”

She slapped a newspaper clipping on the table.

 

**_BANSHEE ATTACK ON MUGGLE VILLAGE: SAVE OR SET-UP?_ **

  

 

>   _As readers may remember, a terrifying attack on a Muggle village by almost a dozen grown banshees made headlines weeks ago. 'The Creature Catchers' leader Enid Tacey reportedly rescued the Muggle town and fought off all the banshee women, earning her an Order of Merlin._
> 
> _However, there aren't enough pieces of evidence or witnesses – as all Muggles, obviously, had their memories cleared – to say that Tacey really had done an act of heroism. In fact, there is evidence that the reverse may be true – that the whole attack was a set-up crafted to give Tacey an Order of Merlin._
> 
> “ _[I] saw nuffin,” Miriam Stoutheart, one of the Aurors who arrived early on the scene, told the Daily Prophet. “Nuffin 'cept ten banshees bounding away. [Tacey] didn't even look like she was in a fight at all, yeh know? Her robes all neat 'n everything. Yeh'd think a dark creature hunter would be more frazzled.”_
> 
> _These have been interesting revelations. You decide – was this Order of Merlin-worthy act really a valiant rescue of a Muggle town, or an organised crime to make somebody look good?_

 

Remus found it interesting, but it did nothing except make him more confused. He expressed this to Lily.

“I know,” she said. “But she's so …  _suspicious_. I want to know what's up with her.”

“She looks innocent enough,” Remus said carefully. “A bit mad, but harmless.”

“A werewolf in sheep's clothing,” Lily said sagely, and Remus flinched at the idiom.

He turned back to his essay. No matter how weird or strange Tacey's past was, it wouldn't make her any less angry if Remus didn't finish his stupid homework.

Right. Where was he? Flying, magical healing tears, feathers in wands…

Wait. Magical healing tears. Healing tears!

What had Lily said the other day?  _You know, Dumbledore has a pet phoenix._

Remus gasped, making Lily jump. “Lily, I have to go, I'm so sorry –”

She was spluttering as he gathered his things and left the library in a hurry, Madam Pince glowering after him.

Surely Dumbledore would be sympathetic to Remus's plight, right? Dumbledore was a kind, good man; surely, he would understand Remus's needs –

Remus raced through a corridor and up a flight of stairs. He knew where Dumbledore's office lay, as McGonagall had informed him before, just in case Remus needed anything.

He stopped in front of an extremely ugly looking gargoyle that would give the creatures in Tacey's books a run for their money. Nothing else struck Remus as interesting on this floor.

“Is this really Dumbledore's office?” Remus wondered aloud.

“Yeah,” grunted the stone gargoyle, springing to life. Remus jumped back instinctively. Whoa. “What's it to you, kid?”

“I would like – no, I  _need_ to see him,” he replied, hoping he sounded confident rather than nervous. “It's important.”

The gargoyle snorted. “What's the password, then, hmm?”

Remus hesitated. “I dunno.”

“Then it can't be that important,” the gargoyle dismissed. “Otherwise the Headmaster would've given yeh the password.”

He was unsure of whether or not to retort back. He wanted to, but he was shy.

“Bugger off, kid,” the statue said, and Remus's heart sank.

However, Dumbledore's voice suddenly said, “That will be enough, Gregory.”

Dumbledore had come up behind Remus, and he was smiling. Gregory the gargoyle, looking a little embarrassed, leapt to the side, and the wall behind him split in half. What looked like a spiral staircase lay behind the walls.

“Come, Remus,” said Dumbledore.

He led Remus inside and the staircase began to ascend, turning upwards at a slow pace. After moving in circles for ages, leaving Remus dizzy, it shuddered to a stop just beyond a gleaming wooden door.

With a flick of his wand, Dumbledore had opened the door into one of the most magnificent places Remus had ever seen. The Great Hall had nothing on this gorgeous, circular office, full of strange little objects. Every time Remus glanced in one direction, he noticed something new – silver contraptions made noises and puffed smoke, while sturdy, wooden figures squeaked and whirred around the floor. Several portraits were hung along the high circular walls. Remus assumed they were the past headmasters and headmistresses.

Most were asleep, but those who were awake either bid Dumbledore good day or peered thoughtfully at the pair. “The  _werewolf_ ,” sneered one snide headmaster robed in Slytherin green. Remus gulped in horror at the portrait. “What you were thinking, Albus, I have no idea.”

“Do not worry, Remus,” said Dumbledore kindly. “None of these portraits will tell your secrets.”

They continued walking up until Dumbledore sat at a large, claw-footed desk in the centre of the room. On one of the several shelves, Remus noticed, sat the Sorting Hat, who peered at Remus with the same intensity as some of the portraits.

“So, Remus,” said Dumbledore. “What would you like to talk about?”

Remus, though incredibly unnerved by his surroundings, found his voice. “Headmaster – you know that Archie – er, Archimedes – is in really poor health now.”

“Yes, of that I am aware,” said Dumbledore. “We are doing what we can do help heal the poor dragon.”

“I – er – I've heard that, er–” Remus spluttered, unable to get the words out.

“A man's most powerful weapon is his words,” said Dumbledore serenely. “But they are only powerful if he uses them.”

“Right,” said Remus. Okay.  _You can do this, Remus_. “Sir, I've heard that you have a phoenix as a pet.”

“Yes, indeed. His name is Fawkes.”

 _Gulp_. “And I know that phoenix tears–”

“–can heal any wound, no matter how severe,” finished Dumbledore. “And you would like Fawkes to shed his tears to heal Archimedes.”

Remus suddenly felt that he was being a bit selfish. Here he was, expecting this man who had already offered Remus an education and a place to transform each full moon, to give even more to Remus. “I guess – but, uh, I don't want to sound rude–”

Dumbledore shook his head. “Nonsense. You're a very clever boy, Remus, and observant, too. Tell me, do you notice anything about this room?”

Remus looked around. “That your phoenix isn't here.”

“Exactly.” Dumbledore gestured to an empty golden perch near his desk. “Fawkes is not here at the moment. Are you, perhaps, aware of the political climate of the wizarding community right now?”

He was unsure what to say. “Do you mean … do you mean the war, sir?”

The war – it seemed unreal to Remus. The adults he knew – his parents, his teachers – they probably knew the most about it, but they hardly mentioned it. His friends whispered about it sometimes, but to Remus, it was a hundred miles away.

“The very same,” said Dumbledore. Suddenly he looked a hundred years older, which was a feat considering how ancient the man already was. “All I can say is that phoenixes can travel for very long distances. I have asked Fawkes to deliver messages, recruit people for the war effort.”

“Ah,” Remus said. He couldn't help feeling disappointed, but he understood Fawkes was off doing something quite important.

“I apologise, Remus. I know how strong the bond between person and animal can be.”

“It's okay,” he said quickly. He didn't want Dumbledore to feel bad at all.

“Fawkes will be back soon,” said Dumbledore. “As soon as he comes back, I will make sure he comes to you. Hopefully he can help you and Archie out.”

“Thanks a lot, sir.” Remus was smiling. It was an honest smile.

*

Following the other day, James and the other boys seemed to be making an extra effort to include Remus – which either bothered or pleased Remus, he wasn't sure which.

For one, James took Remus aside from Lily one History of Magic lesson – she rolled her eyes but said nothing – and together the four of them deviously devised more practical jokes to play, perhaps this time without getting caught. When Remus offhandedly suggested that they transfigure Professor Binn's glasses into a bird, James ruffled his head in delight.

“Great idea!” James said, but he still got caught and got a detention after. At least the lesson had gotten more entertaining – the ghost had in vain tried to grab the bird as it squawked and darted around the classroom.

“Hey, Remus,” said Sirius while they were lounging around in the Common Room. “Wanna go do some Wiggenweld?”

There was a suspicious glint in Sirius's eye, and Remus needed to make progress on the project anyway.

Cautiously, Remus accepted the invite.

They made their way down to the dungeons to an empty Potions classroom.

“Remember how we talked about those books?” Sirius asked while they were applying drops of Moondew into their Wiggenweld Potion.

“Yeah, of course,” said Remus. They had a few times gushed about  _The Light at Moonlight_  and  _The Moon at Noon_ , (except, of course, the latter novel's ending.)

“Please don't tell any of the boys that I read them,” said Sirius weakly. Remus met his eye – he was full of pleading. “I don't, er, want them to think I'm a ponce or anything.”

“So, you think I'm a ponce?” asked Remus, but he was only teasing. “Because I read them?”

“ _No_ ,” Sirius said vehemently. “It's just – they're – they're –  _ugh_. They're James and Peter. They're not like you.”

“Oh?” asked Remus. He had now set away the Moondew drops in the storage cupboard and was searching for Billywig stings to extract their slime. “How are we different?”

“Loads of ways. They're stupid, you're smart. They're immature, you're mature.”

“That's nice of you.”

“It's true,” said Sirius firmly. “Hey, secret for secret?”

“Sure.”

“Are you okay?” he asked, and Remus looked up from the cupboard. “You look happy when you're with us – but when you think no one's looking you look pretty upset.”

Remus squirmed. He wasn't used to talking about his feelings with a boy, or with anyone, really. It was Archie, of course, that was badly affecting Remus's mood.

He distracted himself with a jar of Billywig stings for a bit to avoid answering.

“I'm okay,” he said.

“You're lying,” said Sirius, sounding hurt. “C'mon, tell me.”

Remus sighed. It couldn't hurt to tell the truth – or at least, the half-truth, right? “It's about my sick cousin. I'm really worried about their health.”

“Oh. Mate – I told you. You can come to me if you need anything,” Sirius said kindly, patting Remus's shoulder.

Remus grabbed the jar and walked over to his cauldron, which was boiling steadily. His looked a bit paler green than Sirius's, which was desirable, but could be paler. Hopefully the Billywig sting slime would sort it out.

“Nah, you can't do anything.”

“I can  _listen_ ,” said Sirius. “That's what my Uncle Alphard told me. If you can't help someone's situation, you can just listen to them complain about it.”

“I don't like to complain.”

“Yeah, I can tell – hey, it's your turn.”

As he crushed the Billywig stings, he thought about it. “Okay – how do you guys get around and do all those pranks without getting caught? I'm super curious.”

Sirius hesitated. “Sorry, mate, not my secret to tell. Another question?”

Dang it. Remus had been pondering about it for most of the year. “Okay, uh, how's your family? What'd you … what'd you decide?”

Sirius seemed to think. In fact, he was so engrossed in thought, he crushed too hard on the Billywig stings that they burst slime into his eye. “I think … I think I love my brother. He's great, if a bit annoying. Yeah. I love my brother at least.”

“That's nice,” said Remus, smiling genuinely.

*

Remus was startled once he arrived in the Room of Requirement that afternoon. There was someone unexpected, someone who Remus had never seen inside before. Not Dumbledore, not Slughorn, not McGonagall. Not Severus, thank  _Godric_.

It was Tacey.

He froze suddenly. Tacey was staring, apparently enraptured, at the cage Archie resided in. She had not noticed Remus come in.

As Tacey began to slowly move, enthralled by the sight before her, Remus darted quietly behind a shelf, just like he had hidden months before from McGonagall and Slughorn.

Tacey's mouth and eyes were incredibly wide – so wide that Remus found this incredibly strange. Why was she so shocked? Had Archie not been in Hogwarts for the entire year since September – it was already five days into March!

Had Dumbledore not told Tacey about where the dragon was kept? He'd told Madam Pomfrey, Slughorn, McGonagall and Hagrid – what was wrong with Tacey?

This was why Remus hesitated to walk out and greet her. He was unsure, he was suspicious. Would Tacey leave? When would she leave, so Remus could have his usual Archie time? Would she treat Archie all right, especially since he was in such terrible health?

Archie himself was looking worse for wear. Though he was not asleep or screaming in pain, he was stationary, slumped in the centre of his cage. The wounds on his body glared harsher than ever and Remus almost cried out in sadness.

As she inched nearer and nearer to the cage, Remus reasoned that  _she was a teacher_. She wouldn't do anything bad, right?

Then, Tacey took out her long, thin wand. Her shaky, gnarled hands wrapped around the stick and she flourished it through the air with a youthful bounce. Her wand had been pointed towards Archie's cage. Remus almost yelped –  _What was she doing_? Was she going to kill Archie?

But no, Archie was fine. What changed was a few of the bars of Archie's cage. The curious metal that Dumbledore had praised winked out of existence, leaving an open space for Tacey to walk into the cage.

Remus stood up in shock.

Tacey approached the dragon. There was no anxiety, no tension in her step, only wonderment in her eyes as she got closer and closer.

Remus tensed. Tacey was playing an extremely dangerous game.

Archie stared with tense purple eyes as Tacey came to him. Tacey looked absolutely thrilled to be  _this close_ to Archie. She slowly reached down to touch Archie – to give him a pat, to caress him, Remus didn't know. Remus tensed. Tacey was a stranger to Archie, he wouldn't be so accommodating as to let her touch him. She wasn't Remus, they didn't have a bond.

For a peaceful second, Remus thought Tacey had gotten away with it, and had not disturbed the dragon.

But then a roar echoed throughout the Room of Requirement. Tacey staggered back in shock –

Archie's throat vibrated violently as he roared louder and louder – it glowed bright orange as fire built up –

Remus tumbled past the shelf, desperation pushing him to a dash towards the cage –

Archie flew as high as he could, which was not very high, considering the confines of his cage. His sinewy wings banged against the bars viciously – purple eyes glowered furiously – it was truly a beast –

Fire burst out of Archie's maw. Remus had seen it a hundred times before, but never so scarily. The flames were issued in waves of heat, blasting in the direction of Tacey, who tried to avoid them. They scorched her outstretched fingers and she convulsed in pain.

Remus had finally reached the cage.

“Quick!” he yelled at the teacher, grabbing the hand of hers that hadn't been engulfed in the blaze.

They were still dangerously close to Archie, who was about to issue yet another inferno from his jaw.

“ _Please_ ,” Remus pleaded, and the teacher stumbled upward. Together they lumbered out the cage, and with her wand hand, the teacher weakly brought back the bars that had previously disappeared.

Just in time, too, as Archie's horrifying blaze slammed against the metal. Like before, it absorbed it.

Remus panted – he was so exhausted from the adrenaline – but there were more important issues at hand. His Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher sat on the floor in a disturbingly childlike way. Tacey's face, rather than the wondrous look from before, was contorted in an excruciating pain. Her fingers – which Remus tried to not look at – were black and charred.

Remus almost vomited but he said, “I have something, don't worry.”

He hurried to the shelves, where he stored things for Archie. Godric, where was it, where was it–? Ah,  _there_! Sure enough, he found the couple of flasks of Riggleroot Extract he'd made for Archie that helped soothe burns.

“Here,” Remus said and hurried over to Tacey. He took out globs of Riggleroot and, as gently as he could, applied the extract to her old, shaking fingers. He applied more and more, depleting one whole flask, until Tacey began to relax.

“I'm sorry, I don't know any healing spells,” he told the Professor. He was immensely worried for her. “I don't know if you're completely healed. You should go to Madam Pomfrey. Or Headmaster Dumbledore.”

She remained silent, as expected.

“Are you all right? Are you feeling better?” Remus asked, and to his relief, she nodded. “Sorry about Archie – normally he's not that angry, I think, but he's just quite sick … he probably got afraid since you appeared so suddenly. If you come back, don't go that near, okay?”

Her stricken expression told him that she wouldn't ever be coming back here.

After a pause, Remus questioned hopefully, “You don't happen to know anything that could help with Archie's infections?”

Sadly, she shook her head.

“Ah, well,” Remus said, glum. He put away the flask. “I hope you feel better now.”

Tacey opened her mouth as if to say thank you but thought better of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Another chapter today, because I felt bad about what I felt like was a chapter that didn't really move the plot along. Hope you all enjoy and thank you for your support!


	15. First Year: Burning Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So? Have you sorted yourself out then?" Lyall leaned over the table to look at Remus, a stern expression on his face. "Haven't stayed friends with anyone? Haven't made any new friends lately, hmm?"
> 
> Remus looked him dead in the eye.
> 
> "'Course not."

— CHAPTER FIFTEEN —

**_Burning Day_ **

 

Remus awoke on the tenth of March to a blur of colours and laughter. There were suddenly three people on top of his bed, throwing up his blankets and screaming with laughter. Pillows went flying and someone fell off.

“Oi! Gerroff me,” groaned Remus. “What's this all about?”

Was this some dumb prank? What was happening?

“ _Remus_ ,” implored Sirius, who was grinning down at Remus. “It's your birthday!”

“Yeah, happy birthday, you  _swot_ ,” said James, ruffling Remus's hair.

“Happy birthday Remus!” chirped Peter from below (he'd been the one had fallen.)

Remus was taken aback thoroughly. He'd, well, admittedly forgotten that it was his birthday. “H-H-How did you know?”

“Evans told us,” said Sirius, who rolled his eyes at the name. “But who cares about her. Open your presents!”

Remus suddenly noticed two parcels that the three boys had thrown onto his lap. Peter had climbed back up by the time Remus tore apart the first one – it was a box of chocolates that were from a shop called Honeydukes.

“Wow!” marvelled Remus. “I  _love_ chocolate. How did you–?”

“Snuck in with the third-years last week,” said James, looking very proud of himself.

“Of course, you did,” said Remus, still utterly curious about how they did it.

“Open mine!” said Peter. Peter's present was a collection of Chocolate Frogs, which Remus grinned at.

“Wow – uh – thank you guys,” said Remus. His heart was swelling with joy – though the presents were both small and just little treats, Remus had  _never_ gotten presents before in his life from anyone that wasn't his parents. “It means … a lot.”

James snorted. “Don't be such a sap, Lupin. And no worries.” He gave Remus a little hug. “That's what friends are for, mate.”

“ _I'm_ the sap,” teased Remus.

Remus, of course, noticed the glaring absence of any presents from Sirius. But then again, he hadn't expected any presents – and it seemed very petulant to expect someone to give you a birthday present. So, he didn't say anything.

At breakfast, Lily came up to Remus excitedly.

“Hiya, Remus!” she said. “Happy birthday! Here.”

She shoved a brand-new textbook into Remus's hands. “Sorry for getting you a lousy gift,” she said apologetically. “I didn't know what else to get, so I asked Severus to ask his mum to get this.”

It was  _Potionmaking Tips and Tricks_ by Priscilla Primpy. Remus marvelled at the thickness and heaviness of the book. “Thanks Lily! Don't worry about it.”

“I knew you were having trouble with Wiggenweld so…”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. I haven't even gotten up to the Boom Berry juice.”

“ _What_? It's due in a term, Remus!”

“I know…”

Remus also received post from the school owls; a birthday card and a new school jumper and robes from his parents. He bristled at the thought of his father and thought that Hope had definitely had a bigger hand in this.

Tacey surprisingly did not give Remus a punishment when Remus told her that he had not finished the essay. All she did was avoid making eye contact with Remus the whole lesson.

Remus even made Archie a visit in the afternoon, after promising to do some of his Wiggenweld with Lily. Only Lily would make someone do  _homework_ on their birthday.

Archie was more agitated lately, roaring in pain at the slightest movement. Tacey's visit had probably contributed to this, Remus noted with a sigh. Nevertheless, Remus gave Archie a little rub on his head through the metal bars, which Archie did not protest to. Remus even massaged a bit of Riggleroot into a fresh burn that Archie had given himself.

When he returned to the Common Room, he was cornered by Sirius, who looked apologetically at Remus as he came in.

“Hiya Sirius,” said Remus.

“Sorry I didn't give it earlier – I was – urgh, you know. Scared what the lads would say,” Sirius said, and then he gently handed Remus a parcel. Pleasantly surprised, Remus ripped the packaging apart slowly.

“Keep getting books today,” said Remus, grinning, when he had finished unwrapping it.

It was two very familiar books – slightly thick and heavy, but nothing compared to Priscilla Primpy's book. The cover of the first novel was a witch who sat on a hill, staring at the dark night sky, splattered with stars, titled  _The Light at Midnight_ by Mudalier Mellie. The second cover was the same witch with her wand pointing high at the bright day sky, titled  _The Moon at Noon_.

They were fresh edition novels, unlike the library book Remus had leant Sirius for  _his_ birthday. Why had Sirius given Remus this? No – he couldn't have –

Remus, his heart beating fast, flipped the front cover of the first book. Sure enough, a loopy signature from Mudalier Mellie and a message saying, “ _To a special reader Remus Lupin_.” The sequel had the same signature and message.

Remus almost dropped the book in excitement. “ _Sirius_!”

“You don't like it?” asked Sirius, who sounded both hurt and irate.

“No, no, you idiot,” Remus laughed, and then he clapped his hand over his mouth. He'd never joked like that before with someone. Would Sirius be offended? “I love it. How did you manage –”

“My family sucks,” Sirius admitted, “but they do have great connections. My dad knows someone who knows Mudalier herself.”

“Whoa,” said Remus. He wanted to give Sirius a hug, but he thought that was too sappy, so instead he clapped Sirius on the shoulder awkwardly.

They stood there.

“You know, it's funny, I gave you the same present–”

“–that I gave you,” finished Remus, grinning. He had been feeling great the entire day – and this had just improved his mood even more. His heart seemed to be expanding, a warm feeling spreading throughout his entire body. A happy feeling.

Happy. How foreign.

Sirius snorted, nodding. “Hey, Remus, I was talking to James and–”

But Remus would never know what Sirius had been talking to James about. Because at that moment, a bunch of harried looking third years darted into the Common Room, as if running away from something.

Then something followed them – a ragged looking bird the size of a swan flapped in awkwardly into the room. Its feathers were falling off in ashy bundles as it stumbled over, and it made horrible gagging noises from its grey beak. Between its trembling talons it held a slip of parchment.

Remus watched, stunned, as the bird made its way haggardly over to Remus and Sirius. The bird let its talons go and the parchment landed in Remus's lap. He glanced down to read it.

 

> _Dear Remus,_
> 
> _Happy birthday, my boy. This is my phoenix Fawkes, who shall serve as a temporary gift from me to you. You are allowed to take Fawkes home for the holidays._   _(Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you see it, Fawkes seems to be quite close to his Burning Day.)_
> 
> _Don't worry about his meals; Fawkes will find his own food._
> 
> _Good luck._

 

Remus gawked. He knew exactly who the letter was from. This weak, ancient bird was  _Fawkes_ , Dumbledore's phoenix? It looked near its deathbed, he thought bitterly –

Immediately, he regretted the thought. Suddenly, the bird landed on the Common Room floor, stumbling around.

Its feathers were falling off in earnest as if someone were picking them off. It made one last retching squawk and it burst into flame.

“Merlin's pants!” yelled Sirius. Remus yelped in surprise. Others in the Common Room also made noises of surprise as the inferno blazed.

Oh, Salazar, Salazar, Salazar. Of  _course,_ the only thing Remus needed was for Dumbledore's pet to die as soon as he came into possession of Remus.

But his horror was short-lived, replaced by confusion. For when the flames died, in the ashes lay something … something ugly and wrinkled and small, but thankfully  _alive_. People were now starting to look away.

“Oh, Godric,” whispered Remus and he hurried to pick up the newborn bird, brushing off the ashes gently.

“What the bloody hell was that about?” asked Sirius. Remus winced at the swear words.

Remus gulped. He thought about it. He'd wanted to tell Sirius for a while, and so he did it.

“Secret for secret?” asked Remus timidly, and when Sirius agreed, Remus divulged  _everything_. He'd talked about how he had desperately wanted a friend for a while, and that the Room of Requirement had given him Archie the dragon. He talked about how much he visited Archie, how he tried many times to heal Archie's injuries and the awful infections. He even mentioned how he had seen Tacey the other day, and the strange encounter.

“Wow,” breathed Sirius. “I just don't – I don't get why you're so soft on the dragon. I mean – it's a bloody dragon.”

“ _He_ ,” corrected Remus sharply. “Not 'it.'“

This rubbed Remus the wrong way. He knew that the real reason was that Remus kind-of-maybe-definitely saw himself in Archie – but he wasn't about to tell Sirius that he was a werewolf too.

“He,” amended Sirius, but he saw that Remus wasn't going to say anymore.

“Don't tell anyone, okay?”

“'Course not.”

It was only when they went off to bed that Remus realised that Sirius had forgotten to give him a secret. Remus was sure to get one from him later.

*

Lyall Lupin was surprised to see Fawkes.

“What  _is_ that?” he asked as Remus heaved his luggage over the way to him on Platform 9 and ¾. Without a word, Lyall grabbed Remus's suitcase and, sighing in relief, Remus rested for a second against a pillar.

In the hand that hadn't been holding his ratty luggage was cradled Fawkes. It had been a week since Dumbledore had given him Fawkes.

Remus had taken to leaving Fawkes inside during lessons, but sometimes, if Remus felt like it, he would bring out Fawkes to the courtyard. Lily would coo over the cute little bird. James, Sirius, and Peter almost tried to play a game of catch with Fawkes as the ball which Remus vehemently stopped.

Remus didn't think that Fawkes was mature enough  _yet_ to be able to produce the tears. However, in a couple of weeks, Remus was confident that Fawkes would be old enough. Unlike a normal human baby, Fawkes did not cry as most infants did – Fawkes would only cry in moments of extreme sadness or bravery.

Today was the first day of the Easter holidays, and, with an incredible sadness at leaving Archie behind and an extreme apprehension at having to face his father again, he had boarded the Hogwarts Express, phoenix in arm.

“It's a phoenix. He's – er – a birthday present from Headmaster Dumbledore.”

At Lyall's shocked face, Remus was sure to add, “It's temporary.”

Lyall grunted, saying no more as they left to go home.

His too-small-to-call-cosy house lay in front of him after about an hour. It was a pleasant sight and was made even greater by the sight of his mother.

“Honey!” she called, hugging him tight once Remus had stepped over the threshold.

“What's this?” she asked kindly, prodding gently at Fawkes, who gave a little cry back.

Remus didn't tell the story about Archie, because he was worried that Hope would tell Lyall – which would end terribly. So, he told her the same thing that he told Lyall.

“How interesting,” Hope said, kissing Remus's head and making him squirm. “My boy's so mature.”

“Thanks, mum for the card and the clothes,” Remus added, smiling up at her despite the embarrassment.

“Thank your dad too,” Hope admonished, but he did not.

Dinner was chatty, with Hope bombarding Remus with questions about school, even more than last time. He didn't know how she did it, but she had so many things that she was concerned about. Remus had let Fawkes sit on the table but warned the phoenix not to touch anything.

“You haven't written,” Lyall said once Remus had started on the pudding.

Remus jerked instinctively at the accusation. His knee hit the stove loudly; the house was far too tiny, after all. “Well, you haven't either,” he snapped.

“ _Remus_ ,” Hope said, sounding appalled. “Don't talk like that to your father.”

Lyall grunted once more. “Hope – he's right. I haven't. Do you know why, boy?”

Remus shook his head. Godric, why did this always have to happen at dinner? First the roast turkey at Christmas and the pudding now – he didn't feel like eating anymore.

“Because you didn't follow my simple rules,” his father said coldly. “Do you understand?”

A nod.

“So? Have you sorted yourself out then?” Lyall leaned over the table to look at Remus, a stern expression on his face. “Haven't stayed friends with anyone? Haven't made any new friends lately, hmm?”

Godric, Remus was feeling panicky. He felt his leg begin to shake, hitting the stove again. Lyall could  _not_ know about Remus's new friends – or that Remus had remained friends with Lily and Sirius. Who knew what Lyall would do? Lyall would shout, would write letters to Dumbledore – Remus could  _not_ let Hogwarts go.

Remus looked him dead in the eye.

“'Course not.”

*

The Easter holidays were  _boring_. Both his dad and mum had work despite the holiday, so he was left home alone, with only Fawkes for company. Remus had already finished off all his holiday homework. Surprisingly, he had none for Defence Against the Dark Arts, which definitely lessened his workload.

Now, he just lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling, tossing a balled-up piece of paper into the air. Fawkes stood on the edge of his small bed, staring inquisitively at him.

Fawkes had been growing fast – unlike the small, ugly chick that Fawkes had been a fortnight ago, he was now growing faster, the size of a regular pigeon, with brighter, redder colouring.

Lyall, after his initial sternness and suspicion regarding Fawkes, became super enamoured with the phoenix. After all, Lyall was super interested in magical creatures – he stroked Fawkes's feathers each day and knew which part of the Wandering Woods Fawkes would find the best food. Remus regarded this with more than a little bit of irritation.

“Can't believe my dad loves a bird more than his own son,” Remus spat callously at the ceiling.

Should he have been honest to his dad about his friends? The thought suddenly came at him as fast as the Hogwarts Express and jarred him enough to forget to catch the ball of paper.

It hit him in the face and he sighed. Fawkes squawked.

No – he couldn't have even if he tried. Last time he tried, Lyall had talked over him and vented angrily at Remus, without letting Remus speak any of his rehearsed words.

With anger, Remus chucked the ball at the sky with more force than he had before.  _Ow_ , his arm! The ball landed limply on the floor.

Fawkes made more noise.

“What do you want?” Remus snapped at the bird. Then he sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Sorry. I didn't mean to snap. Here; I'll make it up to you.”

Remus got out the copy of  _The Light at Midnight_ that Sirius had given to him as a present out of his trunk. Carefully, he opened it, marvelling once again at the loopy signature, and then began to read. Interested, Fawkes hopped over onto Remus's bed.

“Hello, I am Cynthia Silverbark,” Remus read aloud, “and the world is in danger. I know this sounds crazy – but the sun and the moon have been switched around. Day is night and night is day, and I – along with two of my best friends – am the only one who can help save it…”

*

Fawkes was showing more and more signs of growing older. He was slightly bigger than a pigeon. He'd also taken to start flying now, flapping his wings around, causing Lyall to yell in delight every time Fawkes did it.

However, once the end of the holidays rolled around, Remus had to tell a disappointed Fawkes that he could not fly around for a while. With only Lyall – no Hope  _again_ , Remus sighed – for company, Remus took Fawkes to King's Cross Station, wincing at every step.

Awfully enough, there'd been a full moon over the break, meaning Remus had to transform inside the awful metallic shack built by Lyall. He almost missed the Shrieking Shack, where he had, at least, room to roam around. The full moon had left him with an injured foot. He wanted to ask Madam Pomfrey if she could do anything about it, but was also too embarrassed and didn't want to bother her any more than he usually did.

The group silently passed the barrier to Platform 9 and ¾ and were all engulfed in a bustling, loud, happy world. They stuck out like a sore thumb.

“What a shame – won't see the bird anymore,” said Lyall sombrely, giving Fawkes one last stroke of his tail.

Remus bristled. He felt anger that had been bubbling inside break out of him. Words came out of his mouth before he could reconsider, as fast as the full moon's effects.

“Guess we know which one out of the two of us you'll miss,” snarled Remus. “Maybe if you had a phoenix and not a werewolf for a son, you'd let him have friends.”

“Remus!” Lyall sounded rather affronted.

Remus started to go, almost violently snatching Fawkes back from his father. Who cares if his luggage  _and_ Fawkes were too cumbersome to carry by himself? As long as he never had to see his father's face, Remus was okay with any arrangement.

“ _Remus_!” Lyall bellowed once more, but Remus didn't turn back.

Remus shoved himself into an empty compartment. Fawkes perched himself on the seat beside Remus, looking around inquisitively. The train wouldn't move for a while – people were still bidding goodbye to their family members.

It was a while before anyone else joined him in the compartment. It was Sirius, who was furiously undoing his tightly-done tie and unbuttoning the top button of his pressed dress shirt.

“ _Ugh_!” grunted Sirius as unrolled his perfectly rolled sleeves. “What a nightmare!”

“Bad holiday?” asked Remus.

Sirius groaned, plumping down onto the seat opposite Remus. “Definitely.”

“Family again?”

“Obviously.”

“Me too.”

Sirius nodded. “Obviously.”

The first day back of the term was a blur. Remus barely registered anything except seething irritation at his father, and utter desperation for Archie's health.

He'd visited Archie briefly before he'd had to go to bed, and saw that Archie was not looking any better than before. In fact, Archie barely made any moans of pain anymore – which Remus thought was quite worrying. The once magnificent purple of Archie's belly and eyes were horrifyingly fading. Even his ink-blank scales seemed to be paling into grey.

The only thing other thing Remus really noticed was at the start-of-term feast – at the staff table was a glaringly obvious absence.

Indeed, as the first year Gryffindors reported to Defence Against the Dark Arts the first thing in the morning – Fawkes flapping overhead – they were surprised to see, not Professor Tacey, but Professor McGonagall.

Clearly, she'd been waiting for them.

“Good morning. Professor Tacey has gone missing.” McGonagall said both these sentences in the same manner, similarly to how one would say, “The weather is nice,” or “How was your day?”

The class erupted into whispers and questions.

“What the Helga?” Peter said.

“Where d'ya think she went?” Dorcas hissed to Marlene.

“Told you she was a crazy bat,” Sirius told James.

Remus and Lily exchanged a shocked look.  _What_?

“Quiet!” McGonagall said sternly, and the class fell silent. “I'm afraid I have no answers for you. I know just as much as all of you do. This means that, until the Ministry of Magic or the Headmaster finds her or a replacement, you will have free periods,” – the class exploded into happy cheers – “which I am sure you will all spend studying for your exams in a month and a bit. Now, off you go!”

Remus, however, hesitated. Fawkes lingered beside him, bored. “But, Professor, where did she go?”

“I haven't the faintest,” McGonagall told him sharply. “But I am sure Headmaster Dumbledore will find her. Now, go.”

The professor ushered him away. This was all very strange; however, there was something more important on his mind. He couldn't waste time caring about Tacey, no matter how odd she was.

He peered over at the bird, who now was perched on Remus's shoulder.

Archie was on his deathbed, and Remus was going to make that damn bird cry.


	16. First Year: Another Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But Remus had only eyes for the phoenix flapping far above.
> 
> Fawkes was crying.

— CHAPTER SIXTEEN —

**_Another Unexpected Visitor_ **

 

Nothing Remus had tried could make the phoenix cry. He showed Fawkes the horrid state Archie was in, but Fawkes remained impassive, as if to say,  _this isn't enough to make me cry_. He finished off reading both  _The Light at Midnight_ and  _The Moon at Noon_ to Fawkes, who he'd thought would be moved by the emotional story. The phoenix did not do anything, but he seemed to enjoy the story.

Remus had brought Fawkes to the Room of Requirement. Archie was walking once more, wings flapping feebly against his pale body. The infection had spread, viridescence veining along his purple underbelly in a grotesque spider web. His steps were unsteady and there was a pool of sick that Remus cleaned up. The cage stood silvery and colossal, and Archie finally looked small and childlike – just like how Remus had first seen him.

Teary-eyed, Remus turned to Fawkes, who looked uncertain and sad. “I don't suppose this is  _sad_ enough for you to cry?” he barked, but he knew it was unfair.

Fawkes's face said, I won't cry.

No matter what Remus did, the phoenix's beady black eyes remained dry. No tears were shed, except Remus's tears of frustration. He was starting to get super desperate.

Indeed, it was also hard to keep Fawkes tailing around Remus every day because of the questions people had, especially James. Sirius and Remus would share a knowing glance every time James said, “Oi, what's that bird doing with you anyway?”

Today, Remus had given up trying to convince Fawkes to shed any tears, and he irately went to trying to finish his Wiggenweld. He'd worked on it for a while now – but not enough. He was still up to Chizpurfle fangs.

“Hey, Lily,” he said to his friend in the library.

She was looking quite frazzled. Their yearly exams were coming up, and she was studying quite hard for all of them, more than anyone else.

Or at least more than Remus's other friends, who were probably off monkeying around. Remus had invited them along to study, but James snorted at the idea.

Actually, Remus hadn't hung out with them in a while – he was still feeling strange about that day James and the other two had snuck out without Remus. He didn't feel as if he really belonged, so he stayed at an arm's length away from them.

“Yes, what is it?” Lily snapped.

“I was wondering if you had any more Chizpurfle fangs? I need about seven,” Remus said.

She shuddered. Chizpurfles were these little parasites that clung to all things magical. “ _Ugh_. Bugs. Yeah, I probably do, I'll check later.”

“Thanks, Lils.” He turned to Fawkes, who was hovering around his shoulder. “Don't suppose you have any Chizpurfles on you?”

The phoenix stared at him, affronted at the idea.

“He says no,” Remus told her.

Lily frowned, looking up from her work. “How do you know?”

“Hmm?”

“How do you know that he said no?”

Remus returned the frown, confused. “Well – you can tell. His body language, his wings spreading, his expression –”

“Birds don't have facial expressions,” Lily interrupted.

“He does,” Remus insisted. “You can tell if you look closely.”

Lily looked half-confused, half-condescending. “Remus, I don't think so.”

Remus shrugged shortly. Her expression bothered him immensely, and he went back to detailing the last ingredients to put into his Wiggenweld Potion.

“Anyway,” Lily said, quick to change the subject. “Severus was telling me during History of Magic that he thinks he's close to finding the dragon–”

Remus was already ticked off at Lily, so he barked at her, “Lily, we don't  _have_ History of Magic with Slytherin. You've said that before as well. I know you've been talking with Severus – out of class – when you're not together.” She made a surprised, indignant sound. Fawkes rustled his feathers. “I think it has something to do with – with parchment, or  _something_.”

He'd had his suspicions for a while but hadn't voiced them because he knew how Lily would react.

Indeed, she tried to huff how she normally did – but he could spot the panic in her eyes.

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” she said coldly. “Stop accusing me of whatever you're saying.”

Remus sighed. “Lils. You know I'm right.”

“Don't 'Lils _'_ me,” she snapped and promptly left Remus alone in the library.

“Lover's spat?” asked Sirius, who popped out from behind a shelf. Remus wasn't alone after all.

Remus started, then sighed again. “Oi.  _No_ – and what are you doing in the library?”

Sirius put a hand against his chest, mock-hurt. “It's my darkest secret – I read.”

Despite himself, Remus laughed inwardly. “I'm serious.”

 

“Same thing as you, swot. Haven't even gotten up to lionfish spines for the Wiggenweld. That oaf Slughorn – a damn assignment 'stead of a test.”

He hummed in agreement. “You're right. Think I'd like an exam better – at least it'd be over quick. Hey – wait, I thought you weren't going to study!”

Sirius shrugged. “Changed my mind.”

He sidled into the seat Lily had left behind. He shuffled his chair nearer to Remus, who was poring over Lily's birthday present for him,  _Potionmaking Tips and Tricks_.

“How's the issue with the bird?” asked Sirius quietly, poking at Fawkes.

“Awful,” muttered Remus. “Fawkes won't cry. Probably can't.”

Sirius pushed him, but it was gentle. “Hey, don't give up that easy. I'm sure the bird just needs a little nudge.”

“Yeah – I guess. Like a sad Muggle film or something.”

“A what?”

“A film. Never mind,” Remus said, snorting.  _Purebloods_ ; they were so sheltered. “Or a book, I guess. But I've tried that.  _The Light at Midnight_ and–”

Sirius looked at him oddly. “Are you daft, Lupin? That's not a sad book. Not like–”

“– _The Sea and Its Song_ ,” finished Remus, amazed. He abandoned Priscilla Primpy's textbook and was already ushering Fawkes to get up with him. “Obviously!”

“For such a swot, you can be such a berk,” said Sirius kindly. Remus privately agreed.

*

Remus nestled in a chair in the empty Common Room, beside the fire. Fawkes perched on the arm of a sofa nearby as Remus opened up his book.

It was late, but he thought he'd heard footsteps and the Fat Lady door  _had_ opened – but it couldn't have been anyone, right? They'd have to be invisible people for Remus not to see them.

 _The Sea and Its Song_ by Melody Marin was not, by all accounts, a particularly interesting book. It lacked action, excitement, and didn't have a whole lot of magic in it.

It was sad, and that was why Remus liked it.

As he read the flowing, flowery prose off the page directly towards Fawkes, he noticed that the bird was listening keenly. His beautiful, scarlet head leaned in as Remus read throughout day and night, disregarding his studies in order to save Archie.

Because what was a few failed exams compared to someone's death?

The incredibly thick – larger than Lily's gift for him – book lay heavy in his lap as he read. It was a story about a mermaid who, after rescuing a wizard from a shipwreck, fell in love with him. Entranced, the mermaid begged a witch to give her legs in exchange for her voice.

It was an enchanting tale about politics, about social inequality, about non-humans.

Remus admitted that it resonated with him because, like the protagonist, he too was not fully human.

Every time the little mermaid tried to integrate into wizarding society, she was buffeted and ignored.

“And so, the handsome wizard married a fair witch,” read Remus sadly. “And the little mermaid was executed horribly once she was exposed as not a real witch – for a wizard will live a full life, and anybody considered less than that will not. Their songs will be forever drowned out by the endless sea and the thickness of wizarding skulls. The end.”

Remus looked up at Fawkes, who had nothing to say. He just cocked his head.

“Did you like it?”

Fawkes seemed to say,  _Sort of. It ended sadly._

“Yeah,” Remus said, almost gasping. He hadn't realised how much time he'd spent reading the long novel to Fawkes – and then found he was past caring at this point. It hadn't been sad enough for Fawkes to shed a tear, but Remus sat in his chair, the words on the page resonating within him long after the story had ended.

When he returned to his dorm, it was strangely empty. Hmm.

*

In years to come, Remus would never quite remember how he managed to get through studying for his exams when he half expected Archie to drop dead at any minute. Yet as days crept by and Remus had fleeting visits to the dying dragon (only punctured by the studying and one full moon), Remus managed to fit in studying for his upcoming tests.

He was focused on either studying for his exams or for spending what was probably Archie's last few weeks alive. It sounded horrible, but it was the truth. As what probably was the calm before the storm, Archie had more energy in his step than before. He even had more tantrums, which Remus took as a good sign.

This put a spring into Remus's step as exams neared.

“I can't last a Fire-Lighting charm,” said Peter fearfully on Saturday, a month before their first exam. “I'm afraid I'll get burnt – I  _hate_ fire.”

Remus smiled. “It's all right. Just hold your arm out a bit further, so you won't get burnt.”

April flurried by in a burst of submitting reports, worksheets, assignments, homework, essays, and assignments (except the Wiggenweld, which was due in exam week.) Even Lily, top of most classes, was feeling overwhelmed.

“Defence Against the Dark Arts is the first exam?” complained James once they'd seen the timetable. “We haven't had a teacher for a month – what do they expect us to know?”

Remus agreed.

“You know, Evans was right,” continued James. “Tacey, that hag, didn't even go over banshees. Ready, Peter, I'll test you.”

Peter looked so frightened, that Remus laughed.

Remus finally met up with Lily too, who he decided to study with in the courtyard to soak up the spring sun. Fawkes followed, soaring overhead. He was much bigger now, close to his full-size. His colours were deep and rich, and Remus found himself marvelling the beauty of the bird occasionally.

“We haven't talked in a while,” said Remus politely to Lily, who didn't look up from her work, but smiled.

“Yes,” she agreed. “I don't even know why we were angry at each other.”

“Me neither,” said Remus, laughing. He took a seat beside her, under the shade of a large oak tree's canopy.

“You've been looking really sad lately,” Lily said cautiously. “What's up?”

Remus could tell that if observing, pursed-lips Lily was pressing Remus for something, she thought it was important. So, after a short battle with himself, he felt comfortable enough to tell Lily.

_Reach out._

“You can always ask me for help,” Lily had once said kindly.

 _Okay_ , Remus told the voice.

“Okay, promise not to tell anyone,” Remus started and then he regaled his year-long tale of how he had befriended a dragon,  _the dragon_ – Lily had gasped – and spent his evenings in the Room of Requirement. He told him how Archie's health had been degrading slowly and slowly over the year, until now, and that Archie was on his deathbed. He talked of the  _real_ reason Fawkes was there.

Perhaps he told her because there was a little bit of hope that Lily could convince Fawkes to cry and save Archie's life.

It was sad, but it was true.

As soon as he was finished, rather than Lily breaking out into a fearful gasp at Remus's situation, Remus heard a short, “AHA!”

Severus had jumped out from behind the trunk that Remus and Lily were sitting on. Lily yelped. Remus jerked back in surprise – had he been there the entire time? How much had he heard?

“ _You've_ been hoarding the dragon all year?” snarled Severus, sickening glee in his eyes. It was almost comical – he was like a villain in a Muggle movie. “How ironic.”

“I haven't been hoarding anything,” said Remus carefully.

Severus ignored him. “You, the worst potion-maker in the  _entire_ world, blessed with the best potion ingredients in the world. Dragon blood, dragon hide, dragon claw, the things you could do–”

“Archie isn't a – a  _thing_ ,” snapped Remus. “He's living.”

Severus's eyes were wide, and his mouth was twisting into an awful, surprised grin. “ _He_?  _Archie_? Godric – you really have a bond with it, don't you? Freak.”

Lily said, “Severus!” but he ignored her.

“You're crazy,” said Severus, stepping away. “Whatever.”

“Where are you going?” asked Remus calmly.

“To the Room of Requirement,” said Severus, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Thank you very much for your directions, by the way. Should've suspected from the start…”

Remus winced.  _Salazar_. He should've been more careful.

“Severus, please don't do anything silly,” said Lily pleadingly.

“Don't you dare,” said Remus over her. Severus was already beginning to stalk away.

Severus whipped around and sneered. “It's not like the dragon's yours or anything.”

 _He is_ , Remus said defensively in his mind, and would've verbalised this if Severus had not broken into a sprint.

Startled, Remus began to dash after him, Lily calling desperately after him. Fawkes, spotting Remus, was quick to follow him.

“ _Severus_!” he yelled.

Remus's feet slapped against the grass.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said to people as he dashed past, pushing them aside. He'd never been too fit or good at running, but apparently neither was Severus, so as they reached the staircase into the school, Remus was close behind –

He snatched as much of Severus's robes as he could.

There were a couple of people watching, but Remus did not care.

“Think – about – it!” Remus said, each word punctuated by a struggle. “He is a  _full-grown dragon_. Severus, you'll get burnt!”

Severus snarled, and with a quickness Remus did not expect, he lifted his leg and kicked Remus in the stomach. _Bugger_! He stumbled back but his grip on Severus remained.

“I'm not stupid,” Severus snarled.

“You – are,” Remus wheezed and was about to say more, when he heard a cry of, “ _Flipendo_!” and a flash of light. Fawkes made a loud squawk.

As if a very strong man had lifted Remus up into the air, he felt a sudden invisible strength throw him far, far away, down the staircase. He collided with a nasty crack against the concrete pavement. People yelled out in shock.

“Ugh…” groaned Remus. He tried to stand. His stomach hurt, his arm hurt – hell, his whole body ached with the collision.

Remus glared up at the sky, and there was Fawkes, cawing, encouraging him on. Fawkes seemed to be saying,  _Get up, get up!_

Someone was trying to help him up, and he let them.

“ _Remus_!” It was Sirius, whose grey eyes – wow, they were  _so_ grey – were full of worry. “What's going on?”

He didn't even spare Sirius a glance as he rushed up the stairs, staggering.  _You can do it, Remus_. Breathless and slightly bloodied, he clutched his leg and made his way up the stairs. It was agonising, but Remus did it.

For Archie.

The pain faded slowly, and Remus found himself speeding up a little as he climbed more and more stairs. He had to get to the seventh-floor corridor before Severus did –

He staggered up the stairs as fast as his injured leg could take him. After what seemed like an eternity he arrived at the top steps. He used the wall to steady himself.

Fawkes flew ahead, cheering him to go further.  _Faster!_

Severus was already at the Room of Requirement's entrance, staring with a calculating stare. He walked thrice, and the wall opened up into the Room Remus knew so well.

“Severus…” he wheezed, but he either didn't hear him or didn't care.

Remus tripped into the Room seconds later and was awkwardly hopping in order to reach Severus. Fawkes had already flown in and was perching on the bars of the cage, squawking.

Severus paid them no need. He was staring at Archie with the same fascination as Tacey once had – but, no. It was completely different. It was a hunger, a greediness, an awful predatory stare.

To Remus, Archie was almost human. To Severus, Archie was a bag of potions ingredients.

Archie looked terrible and agitated. He'd had a tantrum just the day before. Remus begged that it would not happen again today, for Severus's safety.

“Oi!” said Remus, grabbing onto Severus's arm. “Please, just leave, don't go near Archie!”

Severus snarled and pushed Remus even further away.  _Ow_! The pain that had slowly begun to subside, shot through his body again. Fawkes let out a squawk of rage.

“Go  _away_ , Lupin! You've had enough time to play with your pet. It's my turn now.”

Remus was now crawling. “He's … not … my … pet …”

Severus ignored him. “Why is it so sick? You're a terrible pet owner, Lupin. Whatever – the Draught of Living Death doesn't care if a dragon is in good health or not. And if it's sick, it'll be easier to get the scale.”

And to Remus's utter horror, the bars of the cage disappeared. Fawkes squawked in surprise and flapped away.

Now there was nothing separating them and Archie. Archie didn't seem to notice his confines vanishing, and instead just padded around, his leathery wings beating against his body gently.

“How did you–?”

“Don't you know how the Room of Requirement works?” snapped Severus. “You ask it for something, and it gives you it.”

As if to show off the Room's magic, a knife materialised in Severus's hand. He was positively gleeful.

“A scale of a dragon,” said Severus.

“Severus, don't!” moaned Remus.

Severus was already nearing the dragon. Had Archie now realised his bars were gone? The dragon looked up, suspiciously.

“No! You're going to die!” yelled Remus. He was crawling in earnest, at the fastest speed he could. Severus was going to die!

Severus did not listen to him. He was a hair's breadth from the dragon's tail, knife in hand.

 _Swish_!

In one swift motion of a silver blade and a pale hand, a chunk of hide had been cut off, blood immediately pooling at the wound.

Archie roared immediately in pain. He rose into the air like a frightened horse. Severus shouted in surprise and staggered back –

Archie caught sight of Severus with his terrible purple eyes, and his throat began to radiate brilliant red and gold, Gryffindor's colours.

At this moment, Remus knew why people considered dragons so awe-inspiring and terrifying. It wasn't for Archie's beautiful black scales or purple underbelly. It wasn't for the large, hooked claws glinting dangerously, or the long, whipping tail tipped with a spike.

It was the  _fire_. The brilliant, horrible fire, their most deadly tool. Archie reared back, his sinewy wings beating up and down. His eyes blazed along with his long throat. The fire about to come out glowed so bright that it was bright enough to see through his flesh.

Severus, caught up in the spectacle, only stood there –

But Remus jumped into action, yanking Severus away just in time to evade the steady stream of flames –

They stumbled away as fast as they could behind some shelves. Fawkes was making loud noises –

Remus dared look above the shelf to see Archie, glaring right at them, emitting smoke in twirls from his nostril. A dragon free, he was now stretching his limbs and walking slowly around.

Severus shrieked in panic.

“Shh!” hissed Remus. Then, louder, he said, “Archie?”

The dragon perked up, recognising his name. Remus stood up slowly, ignoring blisters and blood, only focusing on the dragon,  _his_ dragon.

“Archie,” he breathed. “Calm down.” It was the same dragon that he'd patted, that he'd reached out to, that he told everything to.

Archie padded closer.

Surely, everything would be fine, surely –

“ _Flipendo_!”

A jet of light soared across the room and landed on Archie's face, around his eyes. It did not make Archie flip over, due to how large and powerful the dragon was, but did anger him.

Remus whipped his head around and saw Severus's outstretched wand in hand.

“It was getting too close,” hissed Severus.

Remus's heart fell. “No!”

Archie was now thrashing around and stumbling around the room and Remus was suddenly acutely aware of how small the Room was and how large Archie was. Medicine cabinets and shelves of potions and tonics were toppled and were knocked aside as Archie roared in pain.

Remus turned to Severus. “Quick, we have to get out!”

Severus ran for his life, and with Fawkes's help lifting him, Remus got out too.

Remus stumbled out of the Room, his breath shaky and his limbs almost failing. What awaited him was an odd sight.

Sirius, Lily, James, and Peter all were waiting outside the room, all looking quite anxious. Remus was staggering down the corridor, and his friends all followed him. Fawkes tagged along, squawking.

“ _Remus_!” implored Lily at the same time Sirius said, “ _Lupin_!”

“What's going on?” she shrieked. “I just saw Severus, but he bolted away, what's going on, tell me  _right now_ –”

“Severus let the dragon go,” Remus moaned, but this only made sense to Lily and Sirius, who both suddenly looked frightened.

“ _Dragon_ –?” yelled James.

“It can't get out, right?” asked Peter, terrified.

“I don't think so,” Remus said, just as the dragon got out.

The wall exploded – and all five of them whipped their heads around in shock. First was Archie's clawed foot – then his whole head and body. The wall crumbled apart, bricks falling away – flame erupted from Archie's maw.

They all shrieked and tumbled away from the wall as fast as they could, but not before Archie fully erupted from the Room. He was a dust-covered dragon, roaring in pain and in fright.

He blasted rock and wall and brick out of the way as he rammed his way out of the Room. There was screaming and chaos and running and wreckage everywhere.

“Call Dumbledore!” someone yelled.

Remus saw in horror as Archie's fire hit a student, who shrieked in pain –

Marlene McKinnon, in her desperate attempt to dig Mary MacDonald outof the rubble, had her hair burnt and she ran around screaming –

He and Sirius had to duck out of the way of debris bursting from a wall –

Melting rock and flaming tapestries, paintings singed and statues liquefied. Teachers were rushing into the scene, and there was Dumbledore shouting a spell.

Archie shuddered to sleep, but chaos still reigned. People screamed – he heard Lily among them – and Sirius was desperately tugging Remus away from the fires.

But Remus had only eyes for the phoenix flapping far above.

Fawkes was crying.


	17. First Year: Dumbledore's Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Remus, you see, perception is a very important part of life."

— CHAPTER SEVENTEEN —

**_Dumbledore's Plan_ **

 

“Dozens of casualties,” the Ministry witch went on coldly, “masonry ruined, the destruction of four corridors, paintings and statues that have lasted for centuries burnt to a  _crisp_. Tell me: who is responsible?”

Nobody said anything, not even Fawkes who flew overhead slowly, circling the crowd of first-years. Remus stood still as a stump beside Lily, his thoughts racing.

They were gathered outside in the courtyard, surrounded by trees and Ministry officials. At the head of the crowd stood the Ministry witch.

“Why us?” called out someone. James,  _of course_  it was James, had put his hand up. “Why not the other years?”

The Ministry witch glowered. “We are interrogating every student and teacher here, of course. That is none of your concern. The question is: which one of you is responsible for this mess? Who thought it would be funny to set a Hebridean Black loose?”

The night before, Hogwarts's seventh floor had been a flaming, fragmented ruin. The professors and Dumbledore had rescued the students and sent Archie to sleep, but not before an entire chunk of the castle had been wrecked.

The Ministry of Magic had been summoned to take Archie temporarily away into the Forbidden Forest before they could decide what to do with him. The Hospital Wing was more crowded than it had ever been this year, with Madam Pomfrey's hands incredibly full. Indeed, Remus had been one of the patients there for the night, but his injuries were only really related to this scuffle with Severus. He felt much better – physically, at least – in the morning.

The Gryffindors that hadn't been injured had slept in the Great Hall that night because the entrance to Gryffindor Tower had been wrecked by brick and debris and dust. That morning they had been ushered to different areas according to year group, and thus interrogated by a Ministry official each.

Theirs was a thin, tall, beautiful lady with a scarf that slithered and snarled like a serpent around her white neck. Burly body guards stood beside her, and Professor McGonagall observed the questioning from afar with pursed lips.

Of course, Remus knew who was responsible for the mess. Instinctively, he jerked his head sideways to look at Severus, who was paler than usual. But – was Remus considered a perpetrator as well? No, right? He had been the one to try and stop Severus. Other than Remus, only Lily knew properly what had happened.

“How do you even know it's a student?” James asked.

“Students were reported running from where the dragon broke out of its cage,” the Ministry witch replied. “So, it has to be one of you.”

Remus knew  _exactly_ who the students were.

“I hardly think this is necessary,” spoke out Professor McGonagall coldly.

The Ministry witch glanced at Professor McGonagall with an unkind look. Remus had the suspicion that they knew each other previously.

“What could you possibly mean?” she snarled.

Professor McGonagall did not flinch. “Whoever is the perpetrator – if there even is one – will not reveal themselves in front of their peers. It would be humiliating.”

They glared at each other for a long moment.

Then: “Fine, you're correct,” she snapped, and then turned back to the students. “Whoever is responsible  _will_ come and confess to the Ministry camp down near the Forbidden Forest – or there will be consequences for  _everyone_.”

The tension in the air did not fully dissipate until the Ministry witch and her guards had stalked away.

“Godric – that was scary,” muttered James.

“Right?” muttered Peter back.

Remus had been feeling terrible for a while now, and this feeling did not leave his stomach.  _Archie_  was in the Forbidden Forest camp right now, while the Ministry dealt with him. Who knows what they would do? Would they execute him? Send him back home? But his infections! Would they have sufficient medicine to deal with it? If Madam Pomfrey, one of the best Healers in Britain, couldn't heal Archie, could the Ministry?

“Off you go,” said Professor McGonagall and the crowd dispersed.

Remus silently walked back into the castle, Lily on one side, and his other friends on his other side.

Fawkes, despite everything that had happened, was still following Remus. He was now a fully-fledged phoenix, with flowing feathers and magnificent colours. The deep red reminded him of Archie's fire.

 _Poor Archie_ , he thought. He begged for Archie's safety and health.

“Remus?” asked Sirius quietly. “Are you going to … are you going to tell the Ministry what happened?”

He shook his head. “It's … I don't really want Severus to get into trouble.”

James said, “But – Snivellus –”

Lily whirled around suddenly, looking mad. “No! Don't you dare report Severus. He doesn't deserve to be punished.”

“He let the dragon free –” started James.

“Remus could be punished too,” she added quickly.

“Fine,” he snapped. “Then what?”

“We can't do anything,” Remus said, his voice breaking.

After the debris and bricks had been cleared, they were finally allowed to go back to Gryffindor Tower. The Fat Lady looked severely frazzled from the event, and let them in even without a password.

Remus sat with Lily in silence, Fawkes on his shoulder. She was hurriedly writing on her parchment, and Remus suspected she was talking with Severus.

He peered at the parchment. It was old-looking, with a fold in its side, and when Lily was done she would fold it closed.

 _Whatever,_ thought Remus.  _It doesn't matter._

The Common Room was bustling with questions – who had done it? Who was the mad fool who had set loose a dragon? Dumbledore was an idiot, surely? How could he have let a beast stay inside Hogwarts for so long? Would he be fired? Was the dragon dead yet?

It was too much chatter. Remus couldn't focus on his own thoughts. He left Lily by herself to go slump in his bed. Fawkes perched on the edge of his bed.

“What are you doing?” asked Sirius in their dorm.

“Wiggenweld,” muttered Remus. He was almost done with the stupid assignment. Just had to collate the ingredients together to finish it off.

“But what about – what about Archie?” he said.

“What?”

“Aren't you going to – I don't know – try save him? Isn't he your friend?”

Remus thought about it. Oh, he so desperately wanted to go down to the Forbidden Forest  _right now_  and rescue Archie. But he would have no way of sneaking out – or breaking Archie out – or healing Archie's wounds. Remus almost hit a wall in frustration.

He snorted. “Of course, I want to. But how am I meant to?”

Sirius sat down beside him. “I guess. It just looks like you're giving up.”

Remus gawked at him. “How can you – how can you say that?”

The other boy put his hands up as a sign of peace. “It  _looks_ like you are.”

This rubbed Remus the wrong way – the worst way possible. So, he pushed Sirius off his bed and nestled himself in the blankets, feigning exhaustion. Instead, he started to read  _The Sea and Its Song_ again.

There was nobody to rattle off these thoughts to, Remus thought bitterly, now that Archie was gone. There was nobody to regale the tales of his day, to confess how he was feeling, nobody left to listen –

“Guys,  _guys_!” It was Peter, rushing up the stairs to their dorm.

Both Remus and Sirius bolted up.

“What is it, Peter?” asked Remus.

“Someone confessed to letting the dragon go,” said Peter, panting.

“Snivellus?” demanded Sirius.

“ _Severus_?” Remus said, shocked. He couldn't believe slimy, snotty Severus owned up to his actions.

“No,” said Peter grimly. “Lily.”

*

“WHAT?” shouted Remus. He fell off his bed in shock, landing on his side on the floor. Fawkes squawked in surprise. His fading injuries panged a little. “Lily?”

“Yep,” squeaked Peter. “Marlene heard her when she was on her way to the Forbidden Forest. She's already gone.”

“We have to stop her –”

“Mate, she's already gone,” sighed James, who was walking up the stairs. “I went after her, but she's already gone.”

Remus seethed.  _Salazar._  Stupid, loyal Lily Evans – fessing up to protect Severus and, judging by what she'd said before, Remus too. He had to stop her – he had to do something about this terrible situation that he was in.

He got up, snatching his wand from his bedside table. He was so focused he didn't even let go of  _The Sea and Its Song_  as he started to leave.

“Where are you going?” asked Sirius, frowning. “You're not going after Evans, right?”

“No,” said Remus shortly and, shouldering past James, was off. Fawkes flapped his wings and was following Remus again.

As he walked through Hogwarts, he noticed something glaringly different. Wizards, all wearing the same dark blue robes, were stationed outside doors like the Great Hall's entrance, and to the Grand Staircase. They must be Ministry of Magic guards, Remus thought. Sneaking out to rescue Archie would be  _impossible_.

He found himself in the corridor that he was just months ago. Fawkes flapped not too high above. Thankfully, Dumbledore's office was not guarded by anything except the usual Gregory the gargoyle.

“What do you want, kid?” it snarled.

“Please, I need to get into the office,” said Remus. “It's about – my friend. I need to make sure if he's okay.”

“Can't let you in without the password.”

“ _C'mon_.”

“Nope.”

“C'mon, Gregory,” said Remus, exhausted by everything happening.

The gargoyle paused, looking at Remus suspiciously. “You remember my name?”

Remus stared at it. “Uh – yeah. Of course.”

Gregory made a thoughtful noise and suddenly leapt aside, the stone making a loud noise against the floor. There was a rumbling as the doors shuddered open, revealing the circular staircase like before.

“You can get in. But only time, all right, kiddo?”

Remus was thoroughly surprised and thanked the statue before walking onto the staircase and being lifted up by magic. Fawkes followed, making a caw that probably meant that he recognised where he was going.

He heard the stones shift and was dizzied by the time he was upstairs.

From behind a big, oak door, he could hear muffled talking.

“…mad! A dragon loose in a school. Everyone's calling me an idiot for not firing you on the spot…. you lost the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher too …”

It was a woman's voice, and she sounded incredibly tired.

“…I do take responsibility for not taking extra precautions, but the committee cannot blame the event entirely on me … and the issue of Enid Tacey's disappearance is beyond me…”

That was Dumbledore's voice, loud and clear.

“Yes, I know, I know … we caught who it was anyway, a little girl, could you believe it? … a silly little girl, hopefully nothing happens to her…”

Remus had half a mind to go back down the staircase, come back later, because this clearly was an important conversation – but he couldn't help but be thrilled that someone was on Lily's side, sort of.

“Well, I suppose many people said that about you, before you came Minister, am I correct?” Dumbledore's voice was all-knowing, as usual. “Ah, I sense we have a visitor.”

There was a  _swish_  and suddenly the oak doors opened. Remus blanched – he was met by the sight of the familiar office, all the interesting instruments and knick-knacks whirring and steaming. At the large table in the centre, Dumbledore sat serenely, opposite a stern, plump woman who, though she looked young, seemed old.

“Good afternoon, Remus,” he said kindly. “Hello, Fawkes. This is Eugenia Jenkins, the Minister for Magic.”

Remus blanched again. Oh, Godric – this was the Minister for Magic. She controlled the Ministry. Remus, in his thoughts about Archie had forgotten all about the Ministry's stance about werewolves, and remembered now that, if his secret was out, they could arrest him, or execute him.

“Hello,” said Remus quietly.

“I was just about to leave anyway, Albus,” Eugenia Jenkins said primly, standing up. She didn't look Remus's way as she walked past him and down the staircase.

“A good-hearted woman,” said Dumbledore calmly. “But I fear she isn't strong enough to deal with everything that is going on.”

Remus stared, not knowing what to say. Fawkes broke the silence.

“Ah, but that is not why you're here,” he said, clapping his hands together. “Sit, sit. What do I owe the pleasure, Remus?”

Remus hesitated as he took the seat Eugenia Jenkins had left. “Well. I want to know if Archie is okay – or if he will be okay. Will his infection be healed?”

“Understandable. However, I have no way of knowing these things,” Dumbledore said.

Remus's heart beat faster. “Why not?”

“I'm not the one holding Archimedes captivity in the Forest,” he said, each syllable clear as day. “You saw the guards stationed at all those doors? The Ministry of Magic is spending their precious time protecting Hogwarts at least, for a little while, until they solve the issue of what exactly to do with Archimedes.”

“I see,” Remus, who couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed.

“I do know that Archie is being held in abestine cuffs,” Dumbledore said in a rather casual tone.

“Sorry?”

“Do you remember I told you about abestine? It is the same metal the Archimedes's cage was crafted from,” he said. “Impervious to flame, and cannot burn, but dissolves in the coldest acid in the world.”

“Okay,” said Remus, starting to get annoyed. He wasn't here for a  _lesson_. He wanted to know how Archie was, if he'd be safe, if he'd be healed.

This wasn't  _important_.

As if he'd read his mind, Dumbledore said, “This is important, you know. If you wanted to – and I'm not suggesting anything – but if you wanted to  _rescue_ Archimedes, you would need to know how to break him free.” There was a twinkle in his eye.

“Okay…” said Remus slowly. “If I  _did_ theoretically do that, I would have to have some way to get around all those guards and stuff. But I don't.”

Dumbledore smiled enigmatically. “Yes, I don't suppose you do.”

Remus sighed. “I can't make that – that cold acid, or whatever, either. I don't have the ability to brew something that advanced.”

“Indeed.  _You_ , Remus Lupin, do not.” The professor's eyes were sparkling. “But the answer may be closer to you than you think.”

It took Remus a moment. Dumbledore was implying that, though Remus didn't have a means of getting around safely or the ability to brew potions well … maybe somebody else did.

Lily's parchment –

James's sneaking around –

“All right, thank you,” said Remus, breathless. “And – uh, just to let you know – Severus is the one who set Archie free. Not Lily. But don't get him in trouble, please.”

“I know,” he said.

“You do?”

“But I cannot do anything about it,” the Headmaster said. “The Ministry of Magic is much like a Hippogriff once it has taken flight; it finds it difficult to change direction.”

“So, Lily's going to be punished?” Remus said, upset.

“I did not say that. You can help.”

“What can I do?” he asked, desperate. “Could you –  _I don't know_  – vouch for Lily?”

Dumbledore's face had a small smile on it, but it wasn't one of amusement. “Remus, you see, perception is a very important part of life.”

What in Helga Hufflepuff's name was Dumbledore talking about? Remus felt impatience rise inside of him, much like how he was prior to a full moon.

“Perception affects everything,” he continued. “It changes how we act around other people, how we think about them.”

“All right…”

“In fact, I believe perception rules the world. It is why the Ministry of Magic is incredibly slow at dealing with the threat that Voldemort poses,” he said. Remus flinched at the name.  _Nobody_ said that name. “Because they are scared of him. Remus, can I take a look at the book in your hand?”

Startled, Remus handed over  _The Sea and Its Song_. He had forgotten he had held onto it this whole time.

“Ah, yes.” Dumbledore smiled. “Melody Marin's. This is one of my favourite novels of all time, Remus. I knew Melody myself.” He didn't say it as if he were bragging, like Slughorn would say it. He sounded sad. “She was a very strong advocator for the rights of those disadvantaged in society. You have read this before, Remus?”

Remus nodded. He had no idea where Dumbledore was going with this.

“Then you will be familiar with the closing lines.  _Archie_ ,” he said, using the nickname Remus had given him for the first time, “is not a human being. He is a dragon, an animal. The Ministry's  _perception_ of him is an uncontrollable, wild beast.”

Remus bristled. Archie wasn't. He was misunderstood.

“And,” he continued, “like I said. It is hard to change the Ministry's mind. However – and you must have heard what the Minister was saying. Lily is a young girl, a witch.”

“I – I don't understand, sir,” Remus said.

Dumbledore was patient. “Do you remember the closing lines of  _The Sea and Its Song_? Wizards and witches live full lives. Anything less than that will not. If you save both Archie and Lily at the same time, they will be far more interested in apprehending a dragon than disciplining Lily.”

Remus was feeling panicky. “So, you're saying I should rescue them both?”

Dumbledore shrugged. “It was merely a suggestion.”

“What if they catch Archie?” demanded Remus.

“I will see to it that they don't,” he said mysteriously.

“So, after I-I  _use_ Archie as  _bait_ , what will happen to him?” said Remus, a biting edge coming into his voice.

“He will have to fend for himself in the wild.”

Remus made an outraged noise. “But – he's a baby! He can't survive by himself.”

“He is full-grown. He  _can_ survive, I am sure.”

“But – but –”

“Remus, are you perhaps taking care of Archie because you see yourself in him?” said Dumbledore calmly. “Are you projecting how you … how you feel about being a werewolf into him?”

“I – I –  _no_ , I care about Archie!”

“You are not a monster, no matter how you are perceived,” he said, looking Remus in the eye. Dumbledore's eyes were electric blue. “Do the right thing, rescue your friend, because it is the right thing to do – but don't hold onto it selfishly. Be self-righteous, but not selfish.”

Remus was at a loss for words. “I…”

“How are you, Fawkes?” Dumbledore suddenly asked. “Is Remus treating you well?”

“If you wanted to know, you shouldn't have left him with me,” snapped Remus, unable to control himself.

“Well, you know,” he said, eyes shining, “people get crazy over their pets sometimes.”

Remus huffed and left – bidding goodbye, Fawkes in tow – unsure about everything.

 


	18. First Year: The Cloak and the Crone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are we really d-doing this?" whispered Peter.
> 
> "Yes," Remus, Sirius, and James all said in unison and they entered the Forbidden Forest.

— CHAPTER EIGHTEEN —

**_The Cloak and the Crone_**

 

When he arrived back to his dorm, the other three boys were waiting anxiously on their beds, staring at one another.

“Remus!” said Sirius as soon as Remus stepped foot in the room. “Where did you go?”

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. “Doesn't matter.”

“REMUS!” yelled Sirius, and Remus started, shocked. James and Peter also jumped at this, surprised.

Remus looked at the other boy, who was making his way towards him. Sirius's hands were now clamped tight on Remus's shoulders and he was looking him straight in the eye.

“Uh. Yes?”

“Lupin,” said Sirius, biting laughter in his voice, “you've been so _loopy_  recently.”

Remus bit back. “You  _know_  why –”

“No, I mean…” Sirius sighed. “I've been asking you what's wrong. You haven't said anything.”

He sounded hurt. Worried.

_Reach out._

Suddenly Remus felt guilty. He felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. Godric – he was feeling so many things at once that he thought he'd go insane. Remus was losing his mind. It didn't help that the full moon had been only a few days ago. It didn't help that his friend was going to die – by infection or by the Ministry's hands, who knew?

He looked at Sirius, recalling a memory of two boys in a cupboard, spilling their secrets to one another.

_Reach out._

“You can always ask me for help, if you need it,” Sirius had once said kindly.

Remus needed all the help he could get.

_Reach out._

“Okay. I apologise,” said Remus quietly. “There's a lot going.”

Something inside of him felt … different. Maybe one of the weights on his shoulders had vanished.

“That's why we're here, mate,” said James, standing up. “It's what friends are for.”

“Friends?” His voice was timid. He hated how weak and small and tiny he sounded.

Peter laughed. “Duh.” He'd gotten up too, and they were all standing near Remus now. He felt so, so small.

“Why do you think we try talking to you all the time, hmm?” barked Sirius, but it was friendly.

“Yeah – we thought we'd gotten you for a little bit around your birthday, and we lost you again,” said James, sighing. “We had no clue why you hung out with Evans and not us.”

“Oh,” said Remus. “I just thought, with you sneaking out without me and all –”

It was James's turn to look abashed. “Oh. That. Lupin … it's a secret, my dad's secret, you see?”

And then Remus knew that, aha! James  _did_ have  _something_ that helped him sneak around everywhere.

James continued, “I wasn't sure if I was allowed to show you yet 'cause I asked my dad before telling Peter and Sirius, you know? I couldn't … let you know. It's a really important family heirloom.”

And now it was Remus's turn again to be embarrassed. “Oh – I – sorry. Didn't think about that.”

James laughed. “It's fine. We're friends, I  _should_  show you –”

“Okay, poncey stuff over,” said Sirius, clapping his hands together. James rolled his eyes. “What's the plan, Remus?”

Remus stared at him, and all he could manage was, “Huh?”

Impatiently, Sirius said, “Well? We're gonna rescue your dragon friend, aren't we? Tell us everything.”

“Yeah, where'd you just go, Remus?” piped up Peter.

“Okay. I'll tell you.”

 _Reach out_ , the voice in his head told him.  _Shut it, I'm getting to that_ , Remus barked to the voice.

And then Remus quickly told James and Peter his story with Archie over the entire course of the year. It was more condensed than what he had told Lily, but it covered all the important bits – his sickness, Remus's attempts, Fawkes's reason for being around Remus all the time, Severus getting Archie's scale, and the subsequent aftermath, including his chat with Dumbledore.

Their eyes were wide as Remembralls.

“Snivellus,” snarled James, his voice thick with dislike. “When I get my hands on that git. He hit you, then  _Flipendoed_  you–!”

“Focus,” Remus said. “We need to … we need to get out of the castle. Archie is in the Forbidden Forest somewhere. We'll find him, but we need to figure out a way to get there so we won't get caught by the Ministry people –”

“Right, Remus!” interrupted James, grinning devilishly. Remus shot him a look, but James wasn't done. “That's exactly what I was going to show you before  _Sirius_ over here interrupted me.”

“This,” James said, making his way over to his trunk, fishing out for something, and then whipping it out once he'd found it, “is my dad's Invisibility Cloak!”

It was a gossamer, shimmering cloak that seemed to disappear and reappear right before Remus's eyes. He recognised it – James had been holding it that time they'd snuck out; Remus had awoken and mistaken it for robes.

“ _That's_ how you sneak around all the time?” Remus marvelled. It was truly fascinating. “All those pranks – that time in the hallway –”

“Yup,” said James proudly.

“Here, look,” said Peter, snatching the cloak and wrapping it around himself. Suddenly, he wasn't there anymore.

Remus gawked. “Wow! Godric, that's amazing. That'll definitely help save Archie.”

“We're rescuing Evans too, your girlfriend, right?” James said, smirking.

Remus huffed. “She's not my –”

“What next, Remus?” asked Sirius, looking impatient and ready to go.

“We need Sev– Snivellus,” said Remus.

All three of his friends couldn't have looked more disgusted.

*

It was simple enough.

Remus asked Fawkes to fly up to the girl's dormitory and search for a thick, folded piece of parchment in the only bed that'd be empty. The four of them waited with bated breath in the Common Room, begging that nobody would come out.

“How do you get it to listen to you?” Sirius asked once the phoenix had left. Remus shrugged.

“Why couldn't we just walk up ourselves?” asked James.

“There's an enchantment to stop boys from climbing up the girls' stairs,” said Remus.

“Have you tried?” asked James, smirking, and Remus shoved him playfully.

“I read about it in a book.”

“'Course you did it.”

Sirius then sneezed. Remus grinned – even Sirius's sneezes were posh, refined, as if he'd practiced them. All his upbringing, probably.

“Are you sick?” he asked Sirius softly.

“And  _I'm_  the ponce,” snapped James.

“Look!” Peter hissed. “Fawkes is back.”

Indeed, it was Fawkes who had several pieces of parchments clutched in his claws. It took them a while to sort through all of them – “Oh, look, it's that Transfiguration essay that I never did,” said Sirius nonchalantly – but they managed to find it.

“I think this it,” said Remus excitedly, unfolding it. It had many creases on it, and on one side had tons of writing, rows of it.

It seemed to be a correspondence of sorts, a two-way communications system, with a line of text from one person, then a reply from another. It was a bunch of messages from two people – one with neat, pretty handwriting (definitely Lily's), and one with scrawled, tiny writing (Remus immediately recognised it as Severus's, remembering it all too well from the instructions he had once gotten.) It was like a bunch of little letters that they'd written to one another, but instead of owl, it was all on this one piece of parchment.

So, this was Lily's secret parchment that she'd been keeping from Remus all year, a two-way parchment.

It wasn't all that cool, Remus thought, but it would help them immensely.

“'Excited for the Defence exam soon?'“ James had taken the parchment and started to read the letters aloud mockingly. “How nerdy.”

“Don't read it, it's private,” scolded Remus, swatting his hand away. “Okay … how does this work?”

Peter and Sirius craning their necks over his shoulder, Remus dipped his quill into an ink jar (they'd gotten prepared while Fawkes had been gone) and began to write at the very bottom of the page.

“Severus? Are you there?” he wrote, trying carefully to imitate Lily's handwriting.

To his amazement, as soon as he'd written the message, the uppermost letter had disappeared as if rubbed out. Peter squeaked as it happened. All of the messages that had been written after it shifted upwards, making space for Remus to write once more.

“Wow…” he said, amazed. Even James and Sirius looked enthralled. Fawkes squawked smugly, proud that he was the one who had collected it.

“What if the git isn't awake?” groaned James after a few second's silence. “That'd be dead tragic –”

As he said this, blank ink began appearing on the paper in Severus's scrawl. Again, the uppermost text was wiped from existence, and all the subsequent messages had shifted up to make room for more messages.

 _What a system_ , Remus thought. Remus resolved that one day, he'd create something as magical and marvellous as this.

“Lily! Are you okay? How are you writing this?” read the message.

“I need help. Come to our potions classroom now,” Remus wrote, praying that it would work.

“Coming,” read the newest words.

“Got him,” said Sirius deviously.

*

Remus heard his footsteps before he saw his face. Severus walked into the classroom warily, into the deep darkness. “Lily?  _Lumos_.”

As soon as the light came on, Remus saw two shapes tackle Severus to the ground. “What the–”

Fawkes flew across the room, lighting candles with his fiery wings. The room flooded with light and Remus quickly grabbed Severus's wand before Severus could curse them all.

Peter hurriedly closed the door behind Severus, so nobody could hear them. Godric forbid Filch come in at this moment, or one of the Ministry guards.

“ _What do you want_?” shouted Severus. James and Sirius were pinning him against a wall, and eventually Severus stopped floundering, but he still looked furious. Both James and Sirius had their wands pointed at Severus, in case he broke free.

“Is this about your stupid dragon?” Severus sneered. “Well I've already brewed the potion, idiot.”

Remus walked over, breathing steady, looking directly at Severus's face.

“It isn't about that,” he said quickly. “We – no,  _I_  need you to brew something for us.”

“NEVER!”

“Quiet,” said Remus weakly. “Look, I'm sorry about this. But I really need you to brew this for us.”

Severus spat on Remus's robes.

“Yuck…” he muttered, wiping the spittle away, and Sirius and Fawkes both made sounds of outrage.

“Snivellus,” snarled Sirius, jabbing his wand closer to the Slytherin boy's face. “Listen to Remus, or I'll jinx you.”

“As – if – you – can,” snarled Severus, each syllable violent but soft. He really did have a lot of guts for someone cornered four to one (five, if you counted Fawkes.)

“Sirius,” Remus implored, then he looked at Severus. “Look, this is for  _Lily's_ sake. If you don't do it … we'll tell the Ministry who the  _real_ culprit is.”

Severus gave him a look of purest loathing for the longest ten seconds of Remus's life. Then: “Fine.”

And so, Remus let him get to work. He handed Severus  _Potionmaking Tips and Tricks_  by Priscilla Primpy, Lily's gift to him, and showed him the page wherein lay the instructions to brew the Arctic Acid, the coldest acid in the world.

Severus began to work, staring at the instructions with ferocity, his skilled hands making quick work of the bubbling cauldron. “Give me a silver stirring rod,” he barked at James.

James looked about to protest, but Remus shot him a look; thus, James begrudgingly got the rod for Severus.

“A Brumal Branch,” Severus said, rattling off the ingredients. James, Sirius, Peter and Remus all dashed off to the several cupboards to find each ingredient. “Viper eyes. Chilly chilli. Chizpurfle stingers.”

Despite himself, Remus was fascinated by Severus's potionmaking ability. He was swift with his hands, sharp with his eyes, and precise with every measurement. It was like magic without a wand.

“Done,” said Severus finally as he flicked the last bit of hyacinth petals into the ice-blue acid. The cauldron was steaming from how cold it was.

“We need a few vials of it. Could you get some, please?” Remus said apologetically.

“Fine,” Severus snapped. He put on dragon skin gloves from Slughorn's desk, and snatched a couple of vials, scooping up the Arctic Acid. When his hand had come back up, the glove was half-corroded and stained blue. He hissed in pain.

He placed each vial gingerly into a vial holder pouch and offered it out for Remus.

“Thank you so much,” said Remus earnestly, taking the vials and handing back Severus's wand. “Honestly, thanks so much –”

At that moment, Severus's hand had swiped through the air, tipping over the cauldron of the freezing potion.

“Holy Helga –”

The acid quickly ate through the desk it had fallen on, and even began to corrode the floor. It moved slow but powerfully.

They all jumped back to avoid the slowly spreading acid.  _Salazar_! Severus darted away out the other door, not once looking back.

“Get out, get out!” hissed Sirius, grabbing Remus's arm and yanking him out of the way. Peter wrenched the front door open and they flooded out, the Arctic Acid in pursuit. Fawkes followed them and as soon as he was out the classroom, Peter slammed the door shut.

“Do you think Severus made it out?” Remus asked, worried. The Arctic Acid was  _really_ powerful, and Remus felt dangerous being in possession of it.

Sirius gaped and let go of Remus's arm. “What – he doesn't matter! Do you have the vials?”

“Yes,” he whispered, lifting up the pouch. The vials were fogging up from how freezing the acid was. Remus zipped the pouch back up and tucked it carefully in his robes.

“Bugger, it's still spreading,” said James, pointing at the floor.

Indeed, the acid was spreading from underneath the crack of the door, approaching their feet. Peter yelped.

“Let's go!” hissed Sirius.

And they scurried off. At some point, James hung the Invisibility Cloak over all of them. Fawkes had to awkwardly flap at their hip-level in order to be able to fit underneath the Cloak, and eventually just perched onto Remus's arm.

There were close calls as they traipsed the halls of Hogwarts in completely silence. They encountered plenty of guards stationed at the important entrances, such as the Great Hall and the Grand Staircase.

Finally, they passed the Ministry witch who had interrogated them that morning. She didn't seem to notice them as they tiptoed down the stairs out of the castle.

Adrenaline pumping his veins from the close encounter in the potions classroom, they set out of Hogwarts castle and into the night.

As soon as they were sure that they were out of sight from any guards, they ripped off the Invisibility Cloak, James stuffing it in his robes.

“Let's go,” hissed Remus, and the group began to run, sure at any moment Archie would be killed, or Lily would be taken away. They stopped once they'd gone down the path, terrified.

The Forbidden Forest looked black and silent from the outside, looking every bit as forbidden and foreboding as its name. There was an entrance like the open mouth of a beast, trees curled into themselves, almost like the Wandering Woods, but more sinister.

The trees swayed ominously. It wasn't that cold out, but Remus shuddered.

“ _Lumos_ ,” James said, and the other three copied. He draped them all with the Invisibility Cloak once again. Fawkes, this time, flew overhead as a watch out.

“Are we really d-doing this?” whispered Peter.

“Yes,” Remus, Sirius, and James all said in unison and the five of them entered the Forest.

Trees that looked older than Dumbledore himself creaked eerily in the night as they padded across the leaf-strewn floor. Moonlight – Remus instinctively cringed at it – poured over them in rays, slitted by the canopy of trees overhead.

It seemed to get worse and worse as they walked further and further inside. The branches became more warped – flowers became darker and plants became more sinister – the wind softer and stranger – the sounds more archaic and guttural. Animal noises echoed through the forest ever so often, and they all shivered in fright.

The only comfort was a repeated flash of light coming from a great distance away – it was blood orange, like Archie's fire. Remus hoped to Godric they were going the right way.

“We should have a group name,” whispered Peter, out of nowhere.

James probably rolled his eyes, but Remus could hardly see because of how dark it was. “Mate, what?”

“Like, the adventurers, or the troublemakers,” said Peter in a dreamy voice. “Or the mischief makers.”

Sirius snorted derisively.

“Can we talk about this later?” asked Remus, who was feeling incredibly anxious.

They could've been walking in any direction, if not for the burning light like a beacon almost a kilometre away. Now, they could hear a distant roaring. It was definitely Archie, Remus thought. He was still alive!

“Ow!” said Sirius.

“Are you all right?” James demanded.

“Yeah, yeah, just give me a moment.”

Hoping to Godric that Sirius would take less than a minute, Remus glanced around at the Forest. It would have been pitch-black if not for their lit wands and the fire-red glow that flared ever so often in the distance. It provided light for their eyes – and hope for Remus's heart.

 _Please, please be okay, Archie_.

They were getting even closer to Archie, Remus thought excitedly. He must be angry, or frightened, or confused.

 _Don't worry, Archie_ , Remus thought determinedly.  _I'm coming_.

As soon as Sirius had finished resting, Remus led the charge and quickened his pace, the other members of the group copying him.

Flames flared into the sky as Archie's rage increased. An earth-shaking roar echoed throughout the forest and quaked the ground.

They were getting closer, and closer, Remus could feel it. Fawkes flew overhead and gave a little squawk in confirmation.

“Good Fawkes,” he whispered, looking up and hoping the bird could somehow hear him.

In his haste, he collided with something or someone.

“Ouch!”

He fell back suddenly, knocking over his friends. They all toppled backwards. Whatever –  _whomever_ – Remus had collided with was swearing, muttering under their breath.

“Sorry,” whispered Remus to his friends.

“Who's there?” demanded a croaky voice, as if the person had just woken up. “ _Who's there_?”

The four of them slowly got up, making sure the Invisibility Cloak was still firmly around them. Remus checked that the Arctic Acid vials were still intact – thank Godric that they were.

His heart pounded heavily against his chest – he felt chills all over his body. Who was it? A Ministry official, here to foil their plans at the very last minute–?

“I said: who's there?” demanded the person and as they came nearer, Remus realised with a start who it was.

It was Professor Tacey.

 _What_? Remus gawked. His thoughts stopped. Nothing was processing.

The old lady was staring beadily into the darkness, her wand out threateningly. Fawkes squawked once more.

“A phoenix?” Then the lady cursed. “ _Dumbledore._ ” She shot out a jet of light and Fawkes cried out, but Remus didn't think it hit him, because he heard the  _swoosh_ of Fawkes flying away.

“I know you're there, Dumbledore, wearing an Invisibility Cloak,” Tacey said viciously, jabbing her wand. “I used to be a dark creature catcher; it's second nature to me. Show yourself!”

When they did nothing but stand and stare, Tacey did something that shocked them all.

As if she were a predator hunting her prey, Tacey sniffed in the air and, with the swiftness of a phoenix and the strength of a werewolf, reached out, grabbing onto the Invisibility Cloak and snatching it away.

Her theft revealed the four of them, standing and staring in utter surprise. Their wands were lit bright and they could see her ancient face clearly.

“You can  _talk_?” James asked, incredulous.

Tacey clamped her hand over her mouth. Remus saw panic in her eyes. Her wand was still pointed menacingly at them.

“Please, don't hurt us,” Remus said hurriedly, holding up his hand in surrender.

Tacey jabbed her wand again silently, but it was only a threat. Peter screamed. Fawkes swooped in, in Remus's defence, and Tacey aimed another jet of light at him, only narrowly missing the bird.

“No!” Remus yelled. “Don't hurt him! Don't hurt anyone.”

Tacey ignored him. She tossed the Cloak aside and swept her wand in a powerful arc, sending all four boys and the bird to the ground.

“ _Bugger_ ,” hissed Sirius.

“Please!” Remus shouted as Tacey raised her wand for the death strike. “I saved your life once, remember? Back in the Room – with the dragon –”

Remus held his breath, ready to die.

Tacey's eyes were illuminated by the energy in her wand. She looked fierce and wild – mad like she'd been in the Room. Then, suddenly, looking Remus in the eye, the wildness disappeared.

Her wand fell from her old fingertips. She stared, shocked, at her own gnarled hands.

Remus finally breathed again.

“You can talk,” James whispered again disbelievingly.


	19. First Year: Archie's Ascent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dragon!" someone shrieked.
> 
> "Everyone, evacuate!"

— CHAPTER NINETEEN —

**_Archie's Ascent_ **

 

“My mother was a banshee,” Tacey explained to the group. Remus, his friends, and their old Defence Against the Dark Arts professor sat on the Forest floor, Fawkes gliding above their heads. How early was it in the day? Four o'clock?

James choked. “Banshees can have kids?”

Remus glared at him, but Tacey didn't seem to notice or care. “Yes. My father was a human wizard.”

“Whoa,” marvelled Sirius.

Her voice, Remus noticed, was raspy and guttural, probably from a lack of use. Her speech, too, was stilted and awkward, as if she had forgotten how to speak.

“When I was born, like all babies do, I wailed. My parents had thought I would turn out to be a regular witch, but the banshee in me was strong. My scream killed my father right as I was born.”

Silence.

Then: “I'm sorry,” Remus said quietly. He couldn't imagine what that felt like.

“It is fine,” Tacey said shortly. “It was quite a long time ago. My mother raised me, and I became a silent little girl. I was afraid to use my voice. I did not want to kill anyone. My childhood was silent and sad. My happiest memory is receiving my father's wand for a birthday present.”

“Armando Dippet, Headmaster of Hogwarts at that time, did not figure out I was a half-banshee. He accepted me into Hogwarts. Thus, I spent seven years of my life saying no words. It took a while, but I learnt how to use non-verbal magic.”

Remus bit his lip. Some of her story – the fear at being found out, the fear of being a danger to people around you – resonated within Remus's very core. He wanted to speak up, say that  _he knew how that felt, too_. She wasn't alone!

But Sirius, James, and Peter were all there. And Remus would rather die than have his friends find out about him being a werewolf.

“I became very good at magic. So good,” she continued, “that they wanted me to be an Auror. However, I only had eyes for magical creatures. Thus, I became a dark creature hunter, and a carer of other magical creatures in my spare time. I joined the Creature Catchers. I was in  _love_ with life.”

“However, years into my career,” she said, “I came across a band of wild banshees wreaking havoc on a Muggle town.” Remus, surprisingly, recalled this from Lily's articles. “I was shocked to find my mother part of that group. I couldn't believe my eyes. My mother … my own mother turned into one of those beasts I hunted down. I ordered them to go, and I never saw my mother again.”

Remus shifted awkwardly. Tacey's story was one tragedy after another. No wonder she was so erratic and odd – anybody who'd gone through this would be affected terribly.

“And then, a year later, my team was massacred. I-I had to stop. The career wasn't working out for me anymore. I stopped speaking. Life had given me everything and then taken it all away in one breath.”

“Last year, Dumbledore accepted my job application.” She sighed, rubbing her grey eyes slowly. “I needed a job, and money, but more than anything, I wanted to see that dragon, Archimedes. The whole year, I desperately wanted that piece of my old life, when I would meet dangerous creatures – and then tame them to ride them. I admit,” she said shamefully, “that I became obsessed. Dumbledore would not let me see the dragon, because he thought I'd release it. And when I found it, I made the mistake of being burnt.”

“Dumbledore found out, of course,” she said bitterly. “So, I ran away into the Forest, afraid of what he would do. And I've been here ever since.”

James said, “You've been here all this time?”

“What have you been  _eating_?” asked Peter, astonished.

“Gytrash meat, nuts, seeds, plants,” she said casually, as if this were a regular person's meal. “My hunting days have taught me to improvise.”

“Wow,” said James. He sounded truly impressed by the story, but Remus only felt incredible second-hand guilt at all the pain Tacey had experienced.

“Why've you been staying here all this time?” demanded Sirius. “Why not just go home?”

“I've been nursing my hand after the burn, you see,” Tacey said, showing her hand, which was wrapped in thick ropy vines. “But it's practically healed. I could have left yesterday.”

“Why didn't you?” asked Remus cautiously.

Tacey snarled and spat at the ground, shocking the group. “My – wand! Stolen by some upstart she-devil Ministry witch with an insufferable serpent scarf and nails like claws. She came across me in the Forest and I think she thought I was a hag or something – someone undeserving of a wand – and she stole it from me.”

“We know who you're talking about,” Peter said solemnly, clearly recalling the witch who had interrogated them this morning.

James pointed at the wand in Tacey's hand. “So that's not yours?”

“No,” she said, a smug look across her ancient face. “I have been causing trouble for the Ministry officials guarding the dragon all day, and even stole a wand. I'm hoping that  _witch_ comes back, so I can get  _my own_  wand back.”

“Why do you care so much about the wand?” asked Peter timidly.

“Because it's your father's, isn't it?” Remus said, looking directly at Tacey. They made eye contact for the first time in a while. Godric, she was old.

“Indeed,” she said. “Family is important.”

_Family is important._

“Well,” said Remus, a plan beginning to form in his head. “You said you were causing trouble, so they'd come investigate, right? Well, we're about to cause more trouble than you can dream of.”

*

The earmuffs Tacey had fashioned for them hurriedly were ticklish against Remus's temple. They were made of strange, furry plants that giggled and squirmed. However, as Remus noticed as he placed the makeshift earmuffs – fashioned from the fluffy plants and a taut vine – they did manage to deaden the noise of the outside world.

He looked around. Beside him, James and Sirius already had theirs on and Tacey was helping Peter with his. Even Fawkes had one over his earholes.

“I can control my ability now, so I won't kill anyone,” Tacey told them briskly after they temporarily took the earmuffs off. “But you four and the bird will be in earshot, so make sure you keep the earmuffs on, so you don't fall asleep.”

“We can do that,” James said confidently.

“What about Archie?” said Remus. “Will Archie be affected by your screaming?”

“No, I don't think so. Dragons are impervious to most magic except around the eyes. Do you all understand the plan? After I knock out the guards, we have to get the dragon free quickly. Hopefully the witch with my wand will be there. If not, hopefully she will be with your friend.”

The four of them were breathless with anticipation. Even Fawkes seemed antsy, his wings flapping erratically.

“Okay. Off I go. Wait for my wail to finish before chucking your earmuffs away,” she said, and disappeared into the shroud of the trees. The four of them snapped their earmuffs on their ears once more.

“Over here,” James mouthed to the other boys and Fawkes, and he approached closer to the Ministry camp. They were obscured by the dark canopy of trees.

The camp was inside of an enormous clearing, as if a hole had been dug out of the forest. The ground was charred in places where Archie had blasted it with fire. Dozens if not a hundred Ministry sentries were either patrolling the dragon or sitting down on the ground. Tents had been set up a safe distance away from Archie. Remus peered, but he couldn't see anyone that looked like the Ministry witch or Lily.

Archie,  _oh Archie_ , was fastened to the ground with countless abestine chains. Even his wings had been tied down by the chains – it looked so painful that Remus wanted to rush out and comfort right there and then. The infection – that bloody infection – was still a grotesque green and it had spread to Archie's upper body too, all the way up to his neck. It pulsated sickeningly and Remus almost vomited.

Archie presumably roared in anger (though Remus could hear nothing), trying in vain to flap his wings. Fire burst out from his maw, and the ground shook with tremors.

Many Ministry guards guarded Archie, wearing the same uniform and cool gaze. Some of them shot out spells at Archie's face, making Remus flinch. This only made Archie angrier – and more fire shout out and more shaking occurred.

“Oh, Archie,” Remus whispered, but he couldn't hear himself.

Then suddenly, he saw something. All the Ministry guards seemed to snap their heads in one direction in shock. Remus followed their line of vision, spotting a dark figure, barely illuminated by Archie's fires, darting toward the centre of the clearing.

It was Tacey, and with all the agility of a Gytrash, dodging spells and hexes, she ran to the middle of the entire clearing, quite near to where Archie was.

She ripped her hair from her bun – it fell down in a cascade of white hair. Remus watched in horror as her mouth opened, baring yellowed teeth. She seemed to float in mid-air, and her hair seemed electric, alive – her arms spread in a dramatic gesture as the loudest, highest, sharpest, clearest sound ever was uttered.

Remus had been preparing for a wail, a shriek. Not a  _song_.

Ministry guards dropped like flies. Even with the earmuffs, he could hear the banshee's song, the warbling note that said,  _You're so tired … so sleepy … so, so tired …_

Why not? Remus thought. Sleeping was a great idea, there was so much going on. Next to him, Sirius gripped his shoulders. His mouth was moving, but he couldn't hear anything, except the music…

James ripped away his earmuffs – Tacey's scream must have been over. Sirius followed suit, and ripped off Remus's, while Peter took off his own, and Fawkes's.

The normal sounds of the Forest returning – rustling, the whistling wind, but he could still hear the lullaby…

“Remus, the acid!” yelled Sirius.

Remus did nothing. He just felt himself being dragged into the clearing. He spotted all the sleeping Ministry guards. My, did they look peaceful…

Sirius looked furious. He was digging through Remus's robes – how rude, Remus thought vaguely – and at last fished out the vial pouch. There were about six vials of Arctic Acid inside.

“Everyone, take one,” commanded James. He sounded brave, yet hysterical at the same time. “and pour it on a bunch of the chains, okay?”

They split, but Remus stood there unawares, until he caught sight of Archie and the voice in his head was screaming at him,  _That's Archie, he needs your help!_

His clarity returned to him just in time to watch Tacey pull out the cork of the vial and pour the whole lot on a tangle of the abestine chains. For a horrifying moment, the potion was not enough – it was too small –

But then, the chains at Archie's front right leg seemed to vanish at once, as if they had never been there in the first place. Only dust remained, and if Remus darted to the side, he could see James, Sirius, and Peter all doing the same at each corner of Archie's bindings.

Unfortunately for all of them, a bit of Peter's vial of Arctic Acid spilt on Archie, landing with an acidic hiss on his infected belly.

Archie's wings flapped furiously – and now his wings were free! Archie roared in pain, a deafening sound, and now that his limbs were free, too, Archie turned around swiftly. He reared up, his gaze aimed at the first person there, Sirius, who looked utterly terrified. Archie's black scales shook as his throat began to glow, an unmistakeable sign just before an inferno.

“NO!” bellowed Remus and he darted. He didn't think he had ever been faster in his life.

Sirius clambered, his face pale–

Remus remembered the first time he had ever seen Archie. He'd thought to the Room of Requirement,  _that's my friend_?

Archie's throat glowed incandescent red–

Remus remembered for the first time stroking Archie's head, remembered researching any treatment possibly, remembered every time he'd poured out his heart to the unspeaking dragon. He'd thought to himself,  _that's my friend._

There was no Archie, it was just a  _beast_ –

Remus remembered rescuing Tacey from the flames, and giving her a potion to heal her hand, remembered desperately telling Severus to back off, remembered the destruction Archie had caused.

Archie's flame rose up into the mouth, just about to blast–

Remus remembered each time Archie had proved that he wasn't a beast. Surely, he wasn't, right?

Archie reared back further, ready to strike–

Remus remembered the first time he had ever seen the dragon, saying, “Actually, I think I like the name Archie better.”

Archie spat fire in Remus's face.

There was that split second of feeling alive that you didn't appreciate until it was gone. After that – nothing. A black nothingness. He heard yells and sobs and haggard breathing and a distant roar and pain. He heard all of this; then he heard it all fade away. 

Above all that, he heard music.

It was the song, again. Was it the banshee's call? No, it was less piercing, more sorrowful. It was full, rich, and sad. It sung of pain so deep and intense, like the ocean, maybe, Remus mused. A song of the sea, he considered. The music  _was_ like water, swelling like waves, a beat of raindrops keeping everything in time.

The sea, that drowned out everyone's song.  _Not this one_ , Remus thought. This song stuck out in the sea, like ripples in a lake.

Ripples in a lake.

Rain.

Water droplets.

Droplets.

Drops.

Something was disturbing his thoughts, he noticed, annoyed. There were raindrops on his face. Did it rain in heaven?

But he wasn't in heaven and it wasn't raining. He was still in the clearing in the Forbidden Forest, and it was Fawkes leaning over his arm and crying.

Sirius, James, Peter, and Tacey all observed this, incredulous looks on all their faces.

He realised what was going on. “No, no, don't cry on  _me_!”

He staggered up, ignoring the inflammation on his arm, which was already fading due to Fawkes's tears. James helped him up. He pointed up at Archie, who was now deathly still. Fawkes's tears kept dropping – more and more all over Archie's belly.

With a surge of joy in Remus's belly, he watched as the sickly green cobweb disappeared and faded back into the rich purple. Remus began to cry himself, he couldn't help it. Archie's sickness that had persisted for months was  _gone_. He couldn't believe that it was over.

Despite everything, Remus flung his arms around the dragon's belly. It was Archie, his friend, his first friend.

“Remus, be careful!” called Peter weakly.

“Mr Lupin,” Tacey said sharply, warningly, but Remus knew it was all right.

Because Archie's eyes said, “I'm sorry.” And Remus believed it. He didn't know how, but he believed it.

“It's okay,” Remus called up to the dragon. “But I have to ask a favour.”

“Anything,” Archie seemed to say.

In under three minutes, Remus, Sirius, James, Peter, and Tacey were sitting on Archie's back. “Go!” Remus yelled, and Archie lifted himself into the air.

It was unlike anything Remus had ever felt before. It was like someone had attached an invisible rope to his navel and tugged it incredibly hard and never let go. The wind lashed in his face, the stars had disappeared, and the sun began to peak out from behind the mountains. The trees were no longer dead-looking and crunched but thriving. Fawkes soared beside Archie – two fire creatures in their real element: air.

It was, admittedly, very unsafe, and they all had to clutch tightly onto Archie's back scales so as not to topple off and die. Peter was screaming, Sirius was clenching hard onto Remus's robes, and James onto Sirius's. Tacey – the madwoman – was whooping delightedly, her fist pumping the air.

“Are you sure Archie knows where to go?” yelled Sirius over the wind.

“Yes,” Remus said simply.

Archie finally swooped down into the Forbidden Forest into a clearing smaller than the one from before. Archie's body crushed several trees as he nestled into the clearing.

Remus heard shouts as Ministry guards darted away at the sight of the dragon.

“Dragon!” someone shrieked.

“Everyone, evacuate!”

The Ministry witch from before was there, looking horrified at the turn of events. A satisfied, devious grin played on Tacey's face as she leapt from Archie's back.

As Tacey determinedly sent spells and hexes flying from her stolen wand to the furious Ministry witch, to get her father's wand back – Remus was looking for Lily.

“Where is she…?” Remus muttered.

“There!” shrieked Peter, pointing at a certain direction.

Lily was tied down to the trunk of a tree, and she was panicking wildly at the sight of the dragon. None of the officials had helped her get out of her bindings while they were evacuating. The four of them and Fawkes rushed over to her.

“Lily!” yelled Remus, and at the sight of him, her eyes went even wider.

“Remus –” she spluttered. “The –  _dragon_ – is right there!”

“I know, I know,” he said. “ _Diffindo_!”

The robes tying Lily up fell limp at Remus's spell. They had cut loose.

“Oh, Remus!” she said, wrapping her arms around him. “I was so scared! I didn't know what they were going to do –”

“You shouldn't have given yourself in,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“Sorry to interrupt the tender moment,” said Sirius, “but we have to  _go_!”

Now there were six in their little group. They scurried back to Archie, who was observing the duel between Tacey and the Ministry witch.

Tacey slashed her wand in a circle, and the leaves at the witch's feet flew up in the air around her, cutting off her vision. The witch screeched, and the leaves flew at Tacey instead – but now they were dozens of sharp daggers.

With incredible instincts, Tacey leapt aside, the knives digging into a tree behind her, and cast a spell straight at the witch's chest. The red light leapt across the clearing as fast as lightning.

With a soft 'pop!', the Ministry witch's wand – Tacey's father's – and landed in Tacey's hands.

She shrieked in shock, and Tacey cast one more spell that knocked out the witch, and she fell on the floor, asleep.

“Good,” said Tacey, grinning viciously. “We're done here.”

“She can talk?” asked Lily weakly.

Again, they climbed aboard Archie, Lily joining the group of dragon riders. Remus felt so, so happy. He grinned, hearing Lily and Peter both squeal as Archie made a theatrical plummet, then flew back up. The dawn was beautiful, the sky shimmering with a hundred colours as they flew around.

Remus scooted closer to Archie's head when it seemed like Archie was trying to say something.

“I have to go,” Archie seemed to say. His flight slowed as he neared the huge Black Lake near Hogwarts castle.

“What?” Remus said. “You can't! We'll work something out –”

“You cannot.”

Remus was stubborn. “Then I'll go with you.”

Archie seemed to shake his huge, dragon head. “No – you are just a hatchling.”

Remus snorted. Archie was quite young as well. What was he saying?

“You have many years ahead of you. You cannot come with me. This woman, however, is old and sad, and deserves some happiness. I can live with her.”

Remus gasped, unable to cease the tears welling his eyes. The conversation felt too final, too sudden, too quick. “What about  _me_? How can  _I_ be happy? You're my friend – my first friend.”

“You have friends now,” said Archie, shifting his head as if to point out to the Gryffindors behind Remus.

They were over the Lake now.

“Jump off now, kids,” Tacey said. “This is the safest place.”

One by one, Sirius, James, Peter, then Lily, dropped off Archie's back and fell into the Black Lake, making a tiny splash. They submerged, gasping for air and swimming to the shore.

It was just Remus left.

“Archimedes,” he said, furiously, feeling stupidly like a parent reprimanding a child. “I can't leave you. You're my best friend. You're – you're  _me_ ,” Remus said weakly.

“You are correct,” Archie said, and Remus felt a sudden happy rush – Archie was going to stay! But then: “I prefer the name Archie as well. Goodbye, Remus.”

And with a brush of his wings, Archie sent Remus flying off his back. Remus tried to shout out, but nothing came out of his throat. Falling felt like an eternity, staring up at the rapidly minimising image of Archie soaring across the sky.

With a splash he landed in the sea. The huge, submerging sea, that drowned out everyone's songs. How easy would it be to drown here, to let every sadness push him down to the depths of the sea?

Remus, with all the strength remaining in his body, pushed himself up towards the surface, which was incredibly, beautifully bright. The sun had begun to shine over the mountains now.

He looked up at Archie's fleeting figure in the gorgeous sky, feeling a mixture of resentment, betrayal, sadness – but above all, joy, because Archie, once a prisoner, was finally  _free_ , free of chains, free of cages.

“Goodbye, Archie!” he shouted, as Archie ascended into the glorious sunrise.


	20. First Year: Just Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wasn't small anymore, and neither was the house that he lived in. It wasn't too small to call cosy, after all.

— CHAPTER TWENTY —

_**Just Right** _

 

Professor McGonagall very much wanted to know why five students and a phoenix ended up inside her office at five o’clock in the morning.

They smelt like the foul stench of lake water. They’d all managed to get ashore, except Peter, who for a horrible second Remus thought might drown. However, he was saved by an enormous tentacle, which pushed him to safety.

“The Giant Squid,” said Lily breathlessly. Of course, Lily would know. She knew everything.

Remus had intended to run up to Dumbledore’s office — but Gregory the gargoyle had told him that Dumbledore was not inside.

Desperately running out of ideas, Remus had led them quickly to the office that he’d first gone to on his very first day of school, back when Professor McGonagall had discussed the measures they’d take on the full moon.

They were all panting and sweaty once they’d arrived.

They whipped off the Cloak before knocking on her door — “I can believe he has an Invisibility Cloak!” hissed Lily to Remus — and thus their Head of House opened her door, a curl to her lip.

“What is going  _on_?” Professor McGonagall snapped once they’d all run into her office.

She was dressed in a tartan nightgown, and a matching nightcap, which Remus might have found amusing in a different situation. (Sirius, despite the circumstances, did find it funny, and snickered at the sight of her. Remus had to nudge him to make him stop.)

Remus gasped. “Please, professor, where’s Professor Dumbledore—?”

Just as he had said this, James had ejected, “Professor, Snivellus set the dragon free, not Lily, she’s innocent—”

Lily started, her loyal backbone snapping into place. “Professor, no! It was me, I set the dragon free the first time—”

“What do you mean,” Professor McGonagall said coldly, “the  _first time_?”

At that very moment, her office door had slammed open. There was a group of Ministry of Magic officials, the witch from before, a tall, snippy-looking man, and a short, burly wizard.

Alarmed, Remus assessed the situation. Remus recognised these guards from before – they’d been patrolling the castle. So, they hadn’t seen what was going on, but the witch did. Remus was suddenly terrified. Did she know what had truly happened?

“Next time you come into my office,” Professor McGonagall said, “you will knock!”

The Ministry witch ignored the Transfiguration professor, and zeroed in on Remus immediately. Her scarf seemed to hiss in anger. “ _You_! You stupid brat. You set the dragon and the banshee free, I know it!”

Remus gulped, unsure of what to say. Sirius instinctively grabbed his arm, but the door had slammed open again once again.

Professor McGonagall huffed. “WHO IS IT  _NOW_? Oh, it’s just you, Albus.”

Indeed, it was Dumbledore, who strode in, looking perfectly calm. He sent a covert wink towards Remus, then looked straight at the Ministry officials.

It was an odd sort of moment, a strange assortment of people all standing tensely in Professor McGonagall’s not-too-large office.

“What do we owe the  _very_  early pleasure, Miss Harker?” said Dumbledore, hands clasped in front of himself.

It took Remus a moment to realise he was talking to the Ministry witch — the one who had interrogated them after Archie was set loose, the one Tacey had taken her father’s wand back from.

Miss Harker straightened up in the presence of Dumbledore, but still looked rather furious. “These children over here are complicit in setting loose the Hebridean Black.”

Dumbledore stared at her, then broke out into laughter. It was a musical, airy laugh.

Remus saw Sirius’s face; he was sharing bewildered glances with James. He assumed James was thinking something like, “Lost his Gobstones, that man.”

“Children? Setting loose to a full-grown dragon, when under the protection of near a hundred Ministry guards?” Dumbledore smiled serenely. “How delightfully preposterous, my dear.”

Even the Ministry guards behind her shifted awkwardly. The idea seemed very unlikely.

Miss Harker sneered. “They had help from a banshee! She Disarmed me and took my wand.”

Dumbledore started, looking shocked. “A banshee? Using wizard magic? Even you yourself must realise how absurd you sound.”

“I — I — then why are they  _wet_?” she snapped.

Professor McGonagall came to the rescue quickly. “They were out doing detention at the Black Lake, looking for Plimpies.”

“Then why is  _she_ here?” Miss Harker turned around to point directly at Lily, whose eyes were wide as Remembralls. “She’s meant to be in the Forbidden Forest, imprisoned!”

Remus’s heart sank. He didn’t know how any of them were going to get out of this one.

Lily burst into tears. Remus gazed at her, shocked and annoyed. Now their cover had definitely been blown!

But Lily continued crying, and through her blubbering said, “I was so scared! The dragon came out of nowhere and everyone was running away, and after I got out of my ropes, I ran! I ran so far, I slipped into the lake. The four boys — oh, bless them — found me and escorted me up to Professor McGonagall.”

She promptly slammed her arms around Remus, her crying face on his shoulder.

 _Wow_ , thought Remus. Lily really knew how to put on a show.

“There, there,” Dumbledore said, patting Lily’s arm.

“Fine!” snapped Harker, looking like she was about to burst. “But she still has to be punished for letting the dragon go.”

Dumbledore shook his head. “I think you’ll be pleased to know, in fact, that through my investigation methods, I have found out that the real culprit is not, in fact, Miss Evans over here. It was Enid Tacey, the previous Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. You weren’t truly the one who set the dragon free, were you, Lily? Just making sure none of your peers were unfairly punished, yes?”

Lily slowly agreed.

“Indeed.” He turned back to the Ministry officials. “My, I believe the Ministry’s investigation was not as thorough as it should have been. As, of course, Enid Tacey had gone missing, hiding in wait to set the dragon loose. She has also, I think, managed to let the dragon loose for good this time. Perhaps this is who you thought was a banshee. After all, she has quite long hair.”

Miss Harker was spluttering now. “I—”

“It  _is_  shocking,” Dumbledore agreed. “I think now that you have  _two_ fugitives — a dragon and an ex-dark creature hunter — you have a lot on your plates. Off you pop, then.”

Dumbledore smiled, but Remus saw that it was hardly a friendly one. It was a clear command. _Leave, now_.

Miss Harker took one last furious look at everybody in the office, and then left with her two guards, slamming the door loudly as she’d left.

“Ah, finally,” he said, sighing, then turning to the five Gryffindor first years. “Now, children, please disregard what I said earlier. Children are capable of far greater feats than any adult can ever imagine. I am quite proud of you,” he said, a real, warm grin breaking out onto his old face. “Especially you, Remus. I’m glad you learned the difference between saving yourself and serving yourself.”

Remus had no clue what that meant, but he smiled back nonetheless.

“I think forty points apiece to Gryffindor will suffice,” he continued. The five of them held back gasps, amazed. “Now, I must go. I have a few dozen Ministry officials to dismiss from our grounds now that Archimedes is far, far away.”

“But sir,” Remus said quickly. “What about Archie — and Professor Tacey? Will they be safe?”

Dumbledore nodded. “I have a safe space for them. In fact, I will ask Fawkes to deliver a message to them to let them know. May I have him back?”

Remus started. “Uh — yeah! ‘Course!”

He hadn’t noticed Fawkes the entire time, but the bird had indeed left his place on Remus’s arm to fly over to Dumbledore now.

“Thank you,” he told Fawkes, who seemed to smile back. “For everything.”

Then Dumbledore turned and left. Now only Professor McGonagall and the first years had remained.

“I — I won’t pretend to know entirely what happened tonight,” she said sharply. “But if Professor Dumbledore is proud of you, then I am proud too. However, do  _not_ go around causing more trouble for the rest of the year, or waking me up this early again! You, you…”—she spluttered, trying to find a word—“you  _marauders_.”

Remus glanced around the room, and then at the people. It had felt small, but not small enough to not be cosy. It still felt that way – but he had felt too big, back then. Like he was taking up too much space, that he was intruding on something sacred.

But he no longer felt that way. He was surrounded by his  _friends_. He thought about everything that had transpired since that meeting in this office that first night at Hogwarts – befriending Archie, uncovering James’s, Lily’s and Tacey’s secrets, learning magic and living in a magical world.

He wasn’t too small anymore. He wasn’t too big, either. He was just right.

“I think we have our group name now, Peter,” said Remus as they left.

“Hmm?” asked Peter, and all three of his friends turning to look at Remus.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he said, feeling a grin spreading. “The  _Marauders_.”

*

The saddest thing about the adventure ending, Sirius had said, was that they still had exams to finish.

Remus, obviously, disagreed. Archie’s absence was an unfillable hole in his heart. And, if he was really honest, exams provided a necessary distraction.

Remus’s first exam was the practical Defence Against Dark Arts exam, which was orchestrated by Dumbledore. He applauded Remus’s Full Body-Bind Curse and Smokescreen Spell when tackling a Gnome, which made Remus glow for the rest of the day, even when Sirius called him a swot.

He thought he passed his Transfiguration and Charms practical exams pretty well too — but the log that they were meant to turn into a bird still looked suspiciously wooden. They had no practical Potions exam, thank goodness, but they were expected to hand in their Wiggenweld by week’s end.

They had written tests too, which were incredibly boring and held in a swelteringly hot exam hall. Remus, however, hoped his Transfiguration essay — a discussion of the transformation formula — would be good enough to make up for his probably poor practical mark.

The Defence exam had had a question about dragons in its second half. This ruined Remus’s mood. He’d been looking forward to the end of exams, but now he was down, thinking about the dragon that had left his life.

He missed his friend Archie. It was so easy to tell someone all your secrets if they couldn’t respond. He glanced at his friends, unsure if he would ever feel brave enough to open up to other people, to be honest.

“Eyes on your own work,” snapped Professor McGonagall, who was supervising the exam.

Once they were done and out of the exam hall, James cheered, ushering them out to the lawn.

“We still have the Wiggenweld due,” warned Remus, but he was smiling.

“Finished it ages ago,” yawned James. “Hey, look, over there!”

It was a bunch of fourth-years who were on top of their brooms. They were zooming around in the air, throwing around a brown ball to one another.

“That’s gonna be me next year,” James said, eyes shining. “I’m going to be on the Quidditch team. You’ll join me, right, Sirius?”

“Are you thick? Of course.”

Peter nodded, encouraging them happily.

“It’s the last Quidditch game tomorrow morning — Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin — they’d postponed it ‘cause of the drag— er, ‘cause of Archie,” James said excitedly. “So, it’s tomorrow! I’m keen, lads.”

While James continued to rave about Quidditch to an eager Peter, Sirius sneezed.

“Still sick from the lake?” asked Remus.

Sirius poked his tongue out. “What are you, my mother?”

Remus snorted. “No, and I’d hate to be her.”

And then they were shoving each other playfully and laughing. It was a fine, fine, lovely day.

That night, Remus stumbled across a certain redhead who was hunched over a wastebasket in the corner of the Gryffindor Common Room.

“Hey, I’ll see you later,” he told Sirius, and made his way over to his friend. “Lily…?”

“Hi, Remus,” she said, her voice unusually high.

“You all right?” he asked her.

“Yes,” she said, continuing to search through the wastebasket.

“ _Lils_.”

“Okay, fine, I’m not, why’d you ask if you know I’m not?” she huffed, tossing her hair out of her eyes. “It’s … it’s Severus.”

“Oh,” Remus said blankly. “What about him?”

“He’s sort of angry at me,” she said. “You know, because of the two-way parchment thing. He’s mad that you lot used the parchment, tricking him … thinks it’s sort of my fault. For not being more secretive.”

“Salazar, sorry Lily,” he said weakly. “I didn’t … I wasn’t thinking about how that’d affect you.”

Bugger. That was the second time that had happened this year. Remus not regarding the moral impacts of his actions on Lily.

“You know what?” she said, looking up at him. “It’s okay. I know you did what you did because you had my best interests at heart.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, Remus.”

Remus dismissed her apology, feeling that he did not deserve it. “What’re you doing with the wastebasket, then?”

“Oh. Well, I was looking for the parchment,” she admitted. “I was thinking … if I found it … Severus wouldn’t be mad anymore…”

Remus stared at her for a few moments. Then he said, “Move aside. I’ll help.”

Lily’s eyes sparkled as she made room for Remus.

*

Breakfast was thrumming with excitement. Gryffindor, of course, was devoutly in support of Ravenclaw (and definitely  _against_ slimy Slytherin) and some were even donning blue accessories.

Remus had brought down his Wiggenweld Potion, ready to give it in to Slughorn, but James’s insistence on attending the Quidditch match first had put a halt to Remus’s plans for now.

Indeed, no sooner had Remus buttered his toast and was about to spread jam on the next, than James had burst out, “You lot are too slow!”

“Go on without us then,” Remus suggested. “We’ll be fine if we miss ten minutes of that game.”

“It’s not a  _game_ , Lupin,” James said, the back of his hand against his forehead in a dramatic gesture. “It’s  _art_.”

“Bugger off—” Sirius said, sipping his milk.

“Language—” murmured Remus.

“Pete’ll come with me, won’t you, Pete?” asked James. Peter did so, and those two were off, leaving Remus with Sirius. Lily left too, explaining that she would be off looking for Severus.

“Shame, really,” Remus said while chewing his toast. “Lily went looking for Severus, but he’s over there.”

He was over at the Slytherin table, but unfortunately, he seemed to be making his way over to the Gryffindor table.

Sirius rolled his eyes and muttered, “He isn’t coming here, is he?”

Severus was approaching them. He, however, had not come to spit on them, or spill Arctic Acid, or snarl at them. He was smiling.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hullo Severus,” Remus said cautiously.

“I’d like to say that I am sorry for pouring the Arctic Acid on the floor,” Severus said simply. “And for letting the dragon go. And I also apologise for giving you boils, Sirius.”

If Severus Snape was reaching out, being friendly, and honest, why couldn’t Remus do the same? “That’s nice of you to say. I forgive you.”

He looked at Sirius, who said nothing. At Remus’s look, Sirius offered a grunt.

“Okay, I’m off to the Quidditch game now. Goodbye,” Severus said, shuffling away.

“Weirdo,” muttered Sirius.

“He was being  _nice_.”

“He — he did so much bad stuff to you,” argued Sirius. “How can you defend him?”

“Well, at least he apologised,” said Remus teasingly. “Don’t think someone had to tell  _him_ to say sorry.”

It took Sirius a moment to recall what Remus was talking about; he was recalling a conversation they had had months ago in the Potions classroom while brewing the Cure for Boils.

“Oi!” Sirius said, tugging on Remus’s sleeve. “You’re not still upset about that, are you?”

Remus smiled faintly. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Whatever,” Sirius answered, chugging down his glass of milk. “We better hurry or James’ll have our heads.”

“Right.”

Remus was about to shovel all his food down into his mouth, when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He whipped his head; it was Sirius, who began to spasm! His skin was fading to a grey like his eyes, and his hair was quickly losing colour. Remus stared in horror.

“Sirius!” Holy Helga. What had just happened?

Remus got up from his chair, hearing the scraping sound echoing in the near-empty Great Hall. Was Sirius alive? He had to be, he  _had_ to be, Remus couldn’t lose two friends so soon after one another!

Sirius was alive, thank goodness. He was breathing, if a bit shallowly.

“But … what?” Remus wondered aloud. Then: “ _Severus_.” He must have spiked Sirius’s food, or his drink!

His fists curled as he pieced the puzzle together. Severus, with all his yearlong searching, had finally found what he had wanted the entire time – the dragon, for the dragon hide, to brew his potions. What had he called it – the Draught of Living Death? It sounded familiar, perhaps Slughorn had mentioned it … Why had Severus done it? To wreak even more vengeance? Remus’s pity and surprised pleasantness towards Severus disappeared an instant.

Remus began to panic. What could he do? All the teachers were in the stands watching the Quidditch match. It was far too long for Remus to go get them – who knew if Sirius would be safe?

 _Where had he heard of the Draught of Living Death_?

Right! It was from that fairy tale that Slughorn had mentioned, with the hag, the prince, and the princess! She had been poisoned with the Draught of Living Death, right?

Sirius didn’t so much as twitch.

Remus had to fight fire with fire, or rather potion with potion.

He reached inside his robes and then he hesitated. No longer would have the Wiggenweld Potion, the project that he had worked painstakingly to make. All that showed of his hard work was a vial of pale green potion, which Remus rose up.

He sighed, and then immediately uncorked the vial, about to pour it down Sirius’s still mouth.

But wait – what had Evan Rosier, that handsome, haughty Slytherin boy said about applying the potion? “Wiggenweld is mildly poisonous to drink, and is better given indirectly,” Remus recalled.

“Well, then,” Remus said to himself, “this’ll be a funny story to tell him when he wakes up.”

Remus began to dab at Wiggenweld over his lips. Pushing past his feelings of awkwardness that threatened to make him hesitate, he leaned over Sirius’s near-dead body, and placed his lips on Sirius’s.

As he pulled back, he hoped to Godric it would work, or otherwise he had wasted his first kiss on a  _boy_  — and Sirius, of all people.

He saw the effects immediately. Sirius made a groan, and he twitched. The colour on his body returned swiftly, and he slowly shuddered awake, as if he had been asleep for a very long time.

Sirius straightened his body groggily. “Huh? … Why did you—”

“To save your life, ungrateful git,” Remus said, huffing. “You got poisoned, and I wasted my Potions assignment on you.”

Sirius laughed, putting his hand over Remus’s mouth. “Shh. So sensitive.”

Remus merely huffed again but didn’t complain when Sirius went to ruffle his head.

That night, when the Wiggenweld Potions were due for Slughorn, Remus had no potion. He went to Slughorn’s office with an empty hand and a defeated heart ready to accept a shoddy Potions mark.

He knocked on the door. Slughorn opened it, yawning. “Hello, dear boy. Are you here to give me your assignment?”

“Uh, sir, the thing is…” Remus said, rubbing the back of his head. “I haven’t…”

“Remus!” someone shrieked behind him. It was Lily, who was running up to them, holding two vials of Wiggenweld in her hands. “Remus, you forgot your Wiggenweld!”

She handed over one of the vials. The green potion was clearer and nicer than Remus’s, and definitely not his. However, in Lily’s unmistakeable writing, was his name. “I forgot my—? Oh, yeah!”

“Thank you, Lily, for bringing Mr Lupin’s down.” Slughorn beamed. “He was about to tell me had forgotten to bring it.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, nodding. “‘Course.”

Once Slughorn had told them they were very fantastically well done, he dismissed them and returned to his office.

They walked to dinner in silence. Then:

“How did you know?” Remus asked.

“Sirius told me,” said Lily simply, and Remus sighed happily. Of course. “It’s the first civil conversation we’ve ever had. Anyway – you  _so_ owe me.”

A breath of laughter. “I always do.”

*

Platform 9 and ¾ was a place of many firsts for Remus. It was the first time he had seen loads of people in the same place. It was the first time he had come home from Hogwarts, been excited to see his father after a term, then sorely disappointed. It was the first time he had talked back to his father, shouted even.

It was the first time Remus felt like he  _really_ had  _friends_  now.

Lily had finally somehow found her two-way parchment, which Remus was glad about. She had sat with Severus on the Hogwarts Express. Remus, despite everything, really hoped she and Severus could keep their friendship. Even if Severus was a slimy git.

They’d gotten their exam marks. Remus had done exceptionally well, which, when he’d been super relieved, Sirius had responded with, “Well, what did you expect, you big old swot?” Even his Potions grade — definitely improved by Lily’s Wiggenweld — was on par with others in the class. He had gotten top marks in Defence.

Lily, of course, had gotten top marks in everything else. James and Sirius, forever with their disregard for schoolwork, had done excellently as well, which annoyed Remus to no end. Peter had certainly done the worst out of the four of them but didn’t seem to mind so much.

Sirius complained the whole trip about having to go home to his family — but then James invited him over for a few days in the summer, brightening Sirius’s mood. Then, James invited Peter and Remus. (Remus hoped he could go but was pretty sure his father would not allow it.)

Remus saw Lyall Lupin, who was standing alone, checking his watch, waiting for him. Thankfully, he did not spot Remus in the flood of students disembarking the train.

“Remus,” Lily said, breathless. “I have to go, but I’ll write to you over the summer.”

“Me too,” he said, and they hugged one another.

“Goodbye, Remus,” she said, and dashed off to her family.

“Where’s my hug?” barked James teasingly, and Remus shoved James away. “Come to my place, mate, yeah?”

Remus agreed, bidding him goodbye.

“Remus!” squeaked Peter. “Bye, mate!”

“Oi, Lupin,” said Sirius, grinning. There was a pause. “I’ll see you, all right?” He clapped Remus’s back.

Remus thought for a quick second that Sirius was sniffling because he was crying, but Sirius was merely just with a cold.

“Right,” Remus said, grinning back.

After he had all his goodbyes, it took Remus all the will in the world to make his way over to his father.

They said nothing to each other for a few awkward seconds.

“Give me your luggage,” Lyall said gruffly. “I’ll carry it for you.”

“I can carry it myself,” Remus said.

They stared at each other. Then: “Fine.”

After they had begun walking away from Platform 9 and ¾, Kings Cross, and the magical world of Hogwarts altogether, Remus could feel a pang in his chest.

There wasn’t a voice in his head, but Remus knew what he had to do. He had to reach out, you know? Be honest, be open. If he couldn’t be honest with his own dad, how could he learn to be honest with his friends?”

“Dad?” he asked timidly. His dad snapped his head his way, as if he were waiting the entire time for Remus to say something.

“Yes?”

Remus hesitated. “I want to tell you something —  _but_ ,” he said warningly, seeing his dad open his mouth, “I want you to listen to me fully before anything.”

Lyall, after a moment, grunted. “All right.”

“I … I made friends,” he admitted. “I’ve had friends since Christmas. And no, I didn’t stop hanging out with them when you told me to. Sorry for that.”

Lyall said nothing, his mouth merely twisting to the side uncomfortably.

“But … I think you should trust me,” Remus said slowly. “I – I learnt a lot this year. I know I should be honest with you…

“And my honest thought,” he added, even slower this time, because he was scared of what would happen if his words came out, “is that I wish you would trust me.”

There was an incredibly long pause.

He gulped.

Lyall stared.

Remus, his focus lost, dropped his luggage onto his foot. “Bugger!”

Lyall glanced at him, a rare smirk on his face. “When did you learn to swear like that? New friends?” He reached out to grab the handle of the luggage. “I told you I would carry it for you.”

“I can do it myself,” Remus insisted.

“We can do it together,” Lyall said finally. Now they both were grabbing onto the handles. His trunk hung between them, bumping their legs. Remus thought they might look silly, but he found that he didn’t really mind at all..

“Anyway,” said Lyall gruffly. Remus held his breath. “You’re more mature now. The phoenix, the dragon — Professor Dumbledore’s sent me letters—”

He sighed, rubbing his eyes with a free hand.

“Thanks for being honest,” Lyall added. “And I … I trust you.”

Remus’s heart swelled. He couldn’t describe how happy he was. He almost dropped his luggage again in joy. It was the closest thing to an apology Lyall had ever said.

“Okay, dad.”

“Okay.”

After a long pause, Lyall said, “Well — tell me about the dragon! What was it like?”

It was a start.

When they got back to their home, Hope engulfing him in a great, big hug, Remus looked around at his childhood home, feeling as if he were in an entirely new place altogether.

He didn’t feel so young anymore. Lyall’s words, Remus’s experiences throughout the whole year — they instilled confidence in him. He felt more mature.

He wasn’t small anymore, and neither was the house that he lived in. It wasn’t too small to call cosy, after all.

In fact, Remus reasoned, it was just right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! That's the end of Remus's first year. This is the longest chapter I've written so far, and also my favourite. Thank you for everyone that has come along for Remus's first year, and I hope you will stay for more. :) <3


	21. Second Year: The Red-Eyed Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus Lupin is back for his second year at Hogwarts — he makes new animal friends, joins clubs, has new, strange professors and has to keep the fact that he's a werewolf a secret. But what's the school-wide mystery that's spreading like wildfire? And why won't the voice in his head shut up?
> 
> -
> 
> “One step at a time, just like the Wandering Willow.”

  1. **Remus Lupin and the Whispers in the Wind**



 

— CHAPTER ONE —

**_The Red-Eyed Rabbit_ **

 

The rabbit had its ruby red eyes fixed upon him.

Remus looked at it curiously. What did the rabbit want? Remus was supposed to be focused on reading his History of Magic textbook, which he looked back down at. 

 

> _Non-magic people (more commonly known as Muggles) were particularly afraid of magic in medieval times, but were not good at recognising it. On the rare occasion that they did catch a real witch or wizard, burning had no effect whatsoever. The witch or wizard would perform a basic Flame-Freezing Charm and then pretend to shriek with pain while enjoying a gentle, tickling sensation. Indeed, Wendelin the Weird enjoyed being burnt so much that she allowed herself to be caught no fewer than forty-seven times in various disguises._

 

Next to that were letters from his friends, that Remus couldn’t help but bring everywhere he went. It was embarrassing, but Remus couldn’t believe that he had these  _friends_ , people who enjoyed his company enough to send him letters.

James’s told Remus all about the Quidditch practice he had done over the summer in preparation for the tryouts. Remus was sure that James would get in the team – at Flying lessons with Sir Stoutheart, James was a particularly spectacular flyer. James also talked about the broom he’d gotten last Christmas – how it was the fastest broom ever made. He was also sad that none of the Marauders, the name of their group, had visited. Remus hadn’t asked his father, who he thought would say no.

Peter’s were shorter, because he didn’t enjoy writing that much. He was on a holiday to Italy, and wrote about how amazing Italian wizards were at making food. He recounted a particularly magical dinner that he’d went to – the wizards and witches there had spelled the plates to magic up whatever food you told the plate to. He sent a postcard of him and his family smiling in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Lily’s letters were incredibly long. She spoke about her unpleasant younger sister (which Remus laughed at) and how she hung out with Severus a lot (which Remus rolled his eyes at.) She also talked much about the homework they’d been set, and how much she’d already done. In fact, she had memorised all the wandwork and incantations of the spells they would learn during their second year at Hogwarts, and was excited to actually cast them once they’d gotten back to school.

Remus couldn’t help but linger on Sirius’s. 

 

> _Dear Loopy Lupin,_
> 
> _Mate! The summer holidays are so bad! I’ve made a promise to myself to NEVER_   _come back here unless I have to. Regulus, good, ickle Reggie, is coming to Hogwarts this year, and I think he’s going to go into – wait for it – Slytherin. What a waste, right? He was all right until this summer too. Now he keeps spouting the pureblood garbage that all my family does. It’s sickening._
> 
> _Don’t let that prat Jamie hear, but I really miss you all. I’d forgotten how it felt to be around people who were NICE. My mother – bless her soul, that cow – locked me up in the basement again. All I said was that I’d rather Regulus kick the bucket than be Sorted into Slytherin. Overreaction, right?_
> 
> _Whatever. How’s your summer, Remus? Boring without me, I guess? I was gonna call you a nickname, but I just realised your name’s kind of hard to give one. Can you think of one? Hey, you’re smart, you probably can._
> 
> _I read_ The Sea and Its Song _! It’s really sad, mate. Dunno why you like all that sad, mopey stuff. Bit too depressing for me. You should read_ Rex the King Killer  _by Victor Vicar. It’s got explosions and stuff. You’ll love it!_
> 
> _Sincerely, the coolest person you’ll ever know_

 

It startled Remus so much. His parents, no matter how much Remus was angry at his father, never did something as extreme as locking Remus up in the basement. Maybe this was, Remus noted, because their house was so small that they lacked a basement, but somewhere inside of him Remus knew this wasn’t really the case.

The wind rustled, and Remus had to clutch at his several sheets of parchment and letters to make sure they didn’t soar away. Maybe it had been a silly idea to do his homework outside, what with the Wild Wind so strong lately. One slip of paper darted away from beneath his fingers, Sirius’s letter.

The rabbit snatched onto it before it could fly away.

“Thanks,” Remus said, relieved.

The rabbit continued to stare. Hmm. Remus decided that he’d, you know, reach out, see what was up.

“What’s your name?” asked Remus.

 _Ruby_ , the rabbit seemed to say.

“I’m Remus.”

 _I know,_ she seemed to say quickly. The rabbit then jerked her white furry head towards the woods beyond his house.

The Wandering Woods hadn’t moved for years – which was ideal, Lyall, his father had said once. That meant their little, cosy cottage would be much better concealed. Remus could see the bent trees in the distance, as still as the wind was energetic.

“I don’t understand,” he told Ruby the rabbit.

She rolled her eyes – Remus didn’t even know that rabbits could do that – and gave him a look that clearly meant, “Follow me.” She began to hop towards the Wandering Woods, struggling because the Wild Wind was so ferocious.

Remus hesitated. “You want me to go there?” He rarely ever went into the Wandering Woods, unless to the shack he’d transform in during the full moon. It wasn’t his favourite place – and his father would hate it if Remus went in there now.

Ruby the rabbit nodded her head.

But then again, Remus thought, standing up, he was his own person, not just his father’s son.

Setting down his textbook and folding his parchment to stuff in his pocket, he followed the rabbit as she hopped down the winding path into the Woods. The gnarled branches of the ancient trees were stationary as Remus glanced at them, the wide, low-hanging canopies protecting him from the hot afternoon sun beating down at them. He brushed against the droopy leaves as he walked past, shuddering at the light, eerie touches. Ruby the rabbit was almost like a source of light leading him through the forest, a pure-white guide bounding down the dirt path.

They hadn’t walked for very long before she stopped in front of one of the large willows that looked identical to all the other trees in the Woods.

“This tree?” he asked, tapping lightly on the Wandering Willow.

Ruby the rabbit nodded happily, pointing her little paw up in the sky.

Remus saw nothing. “What are you pointing at?”

The rabbit huffed and pointed again.

Remus peered but still could not see anything.

The rabbit was so annoyed that she opened her little mouth and spoke. “In the twee.” Remus found that he did not think this was particularly odd at all.

“The twee?”

“In the twee, between the leaves,” Ruby the rabbit said impatiently.

“Oh – the tree!”  _Obviously_ , Remus thought, and smacked his forehead.

He shielded his eyes from the rays of light piercing through the umbrella-like trees. The leaves shifted restlessly in the Wind, but Remus finally caught sight of something small and brown.

“Is that yours?” asked Remus.

The rabbit nodded.

“And you want me to go get it for you?”

It did.

“All right,” Remus said, sighing. He brushed his sweaty palms on his pants and braced himself. He could do this. He’d done it before sometimes, as a young child, so why not now?

He sorely missed Hogwarts, and found himself slightly annoyed by the fact that he couldn’t do magic anymore. If this were at Hogwarts, Remus could just whip his wand out, say “ _Wingardium Leviosa_!” and the nut would float down – but underage wizards weren’t allowed to cast magic.

And so, he begun. Brushing aside the willow leaves, he found a gnarl in the trunk and used it as a foothold. He grabbed a nearby branch and hoisted himself up with a grunt. Then, he grabbed onto another branch and did the same thing. He was so unfit that it took long for him to make any progress. Once he grabbed onto a dying branch and it snapped at his strength. He winced, watching it fall to the ground. He could make out Ruby the rabbit staring up at him expectantly.

This continued, one arm, one leg at a time, until he was finally near the top of the tree. He panted, sitting atop a branch and leaning back against the branch. The leaves no longer tickled him. The Wild Wind whistled in his face and he brushed the hair from his eyes.

He wiped his sweat from his forehead.

There it was, the nut or acorn or whatever. Remus leant over the branch, leaning over to the end of another one. It was so close, just centimetres from his grasp –

There was a shudder up the entire tree. Remus looked down, alarmed, but he couldn’t see anything anymore. He couldn’t even see Ruby the rabbit; he was so high up.

Steeling himself once more, he leaned again, inching even closer. He had to precariously scoot over a little more to be able to grab the nut. When he did, he sighed in relief, and sat back again.

It was a nut, after all. A huge, round nut with a bright sheen to it. It rolled smoothly in his hand. Remus was glad he’d finally gotten it, because now he could safely get down and get back to his History of Magic homework, and maybe see if James, Sirius, or Lily had written back yet.

“I got it!” he called down to Ruby the rabbit.

However, there was a squeal of distress that could only have come from the rabbit.

Remus didn’t understand what was going on, until the whole tree shuddered once more. It shook and it shook, and Remus almost fell down.  _What was going on_? He grabbed instinctively onto the branch once again, but this only seemed to make the quavering more violent. It lurched suddenly to the left.

The realisation struck him like lightning. The tree was  _moving_. The Wandering Willow – the tree, part of the Woods that had stood still for years – was wandering once again.

Remus grabbed onto the trunk of the tree with horror as the tree continued to stumble to the left. Realising that he should really get down  _fast_ if he didn’t want to be whisked away to wherever the willow would wander, he began to climb back down.

It was much harder to climb down when the tree was moving. With every step it trembled, and Remus fought to keep on. The branches began to wave back and forth, much like a person’s arms would swing as they walked.

Over the rustling of the leaves, which fell in torrents at every step, and the whistling Wild Wind, which slammed into Remus’s face as he held on, he could hear Ruby the rabbit squealing.

The tree was walking faster now, similar to the pace that Hagrid the Hogwarts gamekeeper walked. It was heading resolutely down the path that Remus and Ruby had walked up.

There were several close calls. Remus’s leg landed on a weak branch and it snapped and fell. He heard the crunch as the Wandering Willow’s roots slammed down on it. He gulped.

Finally, once the tree had made its way out of the forest and to the green fields outside of Remus’s house, Remus let go of the tree’s branches and jumped off. He landed with a grunt onto the ground. Ouch.

He watched with amazement as the Wandering Willow continued to walk away. Its roots slammed down on the ground with every step, like some weird insect. Remus hated insects, much like his friend Lily, but he found that the Wandering Willow was quite majestic in its movements.

He couldn’t believe that this was happening. They hadn’t moved in years! What had made them start to move?

At the sound of small squeals, Remus whipped his head around. It was at least a dozen bunny rabbits, all white, and all chittering excitedly. They all had regular brown eyes except one, so Remus knew that one padding towards him was Ruby the rabbit.

“You have a lot of friends,” Remus remarked, as they bounded happily towards him.

Remus’s hand uncurled. It had been holding that large nut for the entire time. He placed it carefully into Ruby the rabbit’s paws.

“Thank you!” a chorus of high-pitched cheers said, and the rabbits were all playing with one another and climbing upon each other. They all tossed the nut around, before they took turns jumping onto it, presumably trying to open the hard shell up.

Remus took it from them and shattered the golf ball-sized nut against the ground. “Here you go,” he said, and they all took turns biting bits off of it.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” asked Remus, leaning down to speak to the small group of rabbits. “I’ve never seen rabbits – or any animals – in the Woods before.”

Ruby the rabbit slowly nodded. “The Quickers. They kicked us out.”

“Quicker?” asked Remus.

“ _The_ Quickers,” said Ruby. She looked serious.

“They’re so fast,” another one chirped, sounding horrified.

“And vicious,” another bemoaned.

“We live in the meadow over there now,” one other bunny said, pointing its paw towards the meadow not too far from Remus’s house.

“I see,” he said, not wanting to keep pressing the rabbits on about whatever it was had driven them from their old home. They seemed to be horrified by the events. “Well, if you need any more nuts to find, I’ll be here to help.”

Ruby the rabbit gave him a cute little smile.

*

“Another one moved today,” Lyall Lupin said grimly at breakfast. His blonde hair shone in the sunlight that filtered from the tiny window behind him. His eyes were tired, and his face was lined. He looked exhausted; it was a Lupin family trait.

The room that served as both their kitchen, dining room and front room was almost comically small. All three members of Remus’s family were hunched in the small room.

“Dad, do you know why they’d be moving?” asked Remus curiously over his bowl of cereal. “It’s been ages.”

While Remus had found that the Wandering Willows being mobile again was something wonderful and curious, Lyall hadn’t taken the news so well. As the weeks had gone by, more and more Wandering Willows had been wandering away from the forest, in loud, chaotic lurches. In fact, every morning there seemed to be another one leaving the Wandering Woods. Soon, Remus thought, there wouldn’t be any Woods left.

“I don’t know,” Lyall said gruffly, “but I don’t like it. All this stuff, the war, the wind …”

Remus leaned in excitedly. He’d been hard pressed to get any information from his father or his mother, who was informed of everything magical by his father, about the ensuing war that seemed to get larger with each passing day.

“What’s been happening with the war?”

Lyall seemed reluctant, but he opened his mouth after a few moment’s wait. “Well –”

“ _Lyall_ ,” Hope said at the sink, sounding sweet but stern at the same time.

“Right.” Lyall rubbed his eyes, spoon in one hand. “Your mother’s correct.”

Remus leaned back in his seat, put out. “I thought you trusted me.”

“ _Remus_ ,” said Hope.

“Stop bringing that back up,” warned Lyall. “I won’t stand for it anymore –”

“Lyall, we talked about this,” Hope broke in. “Be understanding to him. Be empathetic–”

Remus looked up from his cereal, stunned. “You talked about this? Dad? Mum?”

“Of course, we did, that’s why we had that conversation at Kings Cross –” started Lyall.

Remus scoffed, finally realising. Of  _course_ , that’s why his father had been so open, so kind that day he had returned from Kings Cross Station. Of course, it was all his mother’s doing, his kind, kind mother telling his unkind father what to do.

“I forgot the only times you’re nice are because of mum –”

“– because it’s for your own good,” bellowed Lyall.

“So, that’s why I was lonely at Hogwarts?” asked Remus, a bite in his voice. “For my own good?”

“Yes!” he insisted. “That’s why – that’s why I don’t think it’s the best idea for you to be close to people!”

“You still think it’s a bad idea?” said Remus, open-mouthed. “Did you just – say all those things because mum told you to?”

“I don’t want people to know,” Lyall said, ignoring the question.

“Because you’re ashamed,” said Remus quietly.

“What?” Remus had shocked Lyall into a momentary silence. “No. Remus, you know what would happen if the Ministry found out –”

“Yes, but you’re also ashamed,” he said. “Don’t lie.”

“I am NOT lying –”

“This is the most we’ve talked in ages,” said Remus, looking down at his cereal again. “And it’s an argument. About this. Again.”

“ _Remus_ ,” Hope said, but he didn’t look at her.

“I  _can_ keep secrets from my friends, you know,” he said, hoping the sound of hurt didn’t creep into his voice. “You think I don’t keep things from you?”

Lyall sighed.

“I’m done,” he said, though he wasn’t really. He handed his cereal bowl to his mother, who was looking at him with concern. “Thanks for the breakfast, mum.”

*

Keeping a bunch of rabbits in his room wasn’t how Remus expected he would spend his summer holidays, but unexpected things had a habit of happening to Remus. He lay on his bed, watching the dozen or so rabbits clambering around his room. His parents were gone – his mum would certainly freak out if she saw rabbits inside the house – and so the group of rabbits were free to bound around his room. Ruby the rabbit, in particular, enjoyed spending time with Remus, and especially liked when Remus gave her soft fur a nice stroke.

Remus realised early on that Ruby was the only one of the rabbits in the group who was not related to any of the other ones. They were from a far-away colony, and were all quite young. He was curious about what had happened to the rest of the colony, but didn’t ask any of the rabbits, as he knew they’d be upset.

Ruby the rabbit bounded on Remus’s chest, and Remus laughed, catching the rabbit in his hands. “What’s up?”

Ruby the rabbit pointed at his bedroom floor. “Wook!” She’d tried to say, “Look.”

There were three bunnies, all peering at a nut, trying to crack it open.

“Of course,” he said, rolling his eyes.

He cracked the nut open easily, and the rabbits chirped in gratitude.

“Remus,” said his father’s voice from the doorway.

Remus yelped.  _Salazar_! He hadn’t thought his father would be home yet. “I, er, thought you’d be at work.”

“Clearly,” Lyall said, gesturing to the band of rabbits in Remus’s small room. They were all staring at Lyall now, a little scared. Remus wanted to tell them that his father was no harm, even if he was mean. “What are they all doing in your room?”

Remus explained the events of the first Wandering Willow that had wandered away. He had omitted the detail of the rabbits the first time he had told his father the tale.

“So, you were, er, helping these rabbits find their nut?” asked Lyall awkwardly.

“Yes,” said Remus. It sounded stupid coming from his father’s mouth.

Lyall then did something startling. He carefully traipsed around the rabbits, who darted away to make room for him, and plopped down next to Remus on his bed. “That’s very noble of you. Climbing a tree, and all. Unsafe, but noble.”

Remus didn’t know what to say.

Lyall sighed. “Remus … I’m not ashamed of you.”

The Wild Wind was thudding against Remus’s bedroom window.

“You sure?” bit Remus.

“ _Yes_ ,” he insisted, the force behind his voice rather strong. “Don’t accuse me of that ever again.”

Remus said nothing. He was glad he was talking to his father, he guessed, but it was also an incredibly uncomfortable experience.

“And, while I do think it would be good if you weren’t close to anyone –  _let me speak_ –” he commanded gruffly once Remus had opened his mouth, “I want what’s best for you. And I don’t want you to be alone. You didn’t tell me you were all alone at Hogwarts,” he added, his voice tinged with a bit of something.

“What’d you think?” asked Remus suddenly, bewildered.

“I don’t know,” admitted Lyall, kicking at the floor. “I assumed – well, teachers, maybe –”

Remus barked with laughter.

“Being friends with teachers? Dad, that’s that  _lame_. I – you – that’s so lame,” he finished, unable to find any more words.

Lyall smiled for the first time the whole conversation.

“That’s true. I … apologise,” he said, as if it were bringing him a lot of pain, and Remus started at those words. His mum had definitely had a hand in this, had definitely told Lyall to apologise – but Remus considered whether this really mattered in the long run, if Lyall did mean it. “I didn’t think it through.”

“It’s okay,” Remus said suddenly. He didn’t want his dad to feel  _bad_ – well maybe he  _had_ wanted that just a few days ago, but now he was feeling incredibly guilty. “I had – I had Archie, remember?”

“Right.” He’d told his dad everything about his friendship with the dragon to his father, who had seemed both delighted and jealous.

“Did you come talk to me because mum told you to again?” asked Remus.

“Yes,” Lyall admitted. “But –  _don’t_ take it the wrong way. Your mum’s just … she’s really good at talking. She’s perfect. I’m rubbish with these kinds of things.”

“I see,” said Remus, sighing. “Me too.”

“No, no,” Lyall said. He turned to look at Remus straight in the eye, and, in a move that Remus would never forget, reached out his hand and ran his hand through Remus’s hair. They had the same hair – thin, but soft, and dark blonde. He looked down at Remus’s face and his fatherly smile. It was just like his hair. Thin, but soft. It was worth every argument, every dispute Remus had had with his father. Remus didn’t care if Hope had told Lyall to do everything, to say everything single thing he had said – it was worth it, because it was genuine. “You’re very, very brave, just like her.”

“Can we … write to each other again?” asked Remus, looking up at his dad. “When I go back to Hogwarts?”

Lyall nodded, stiff but true.

It was a step in the right direction.

Remus saw his father’s Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, looking straight at Remus. He brought Remus into a hug, light but warm nonetheless. “And – you don’t need to keep secrets from me. I told you that I trust you – but you should also trust me.”

One step at a time, just like the Wandering Willow.

He eased into his father’s embrace. “All right.”

Ruby’s curious red eyes had never left Remus the entire time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! I'm so excited about Remus's second year at Hogwarts. :)


	22. Second Year: Knockturn Alley

— CHAPTER TWO —

**_Knockturn Alley_ **

 

Remus was searching for his things around his tiny room. He upended his pillow, pushed his sheets out of the way and – Ah! There it was. He reached down for his knapsack, nestled in his blankets, but he felt a resistant tug back.

“ _Ruby_ ,” he said, sighing. “I have to  _go_. Right now.”

Her furry paws were defiantly latched upon his rucksack. Her red eyes told Remus she wouldn't let go.

It was true, though. He was about to go out on a family trip, the first one he'd been on in ages. And, get this, it was to Diagon Alley too! A family outing to a magical place – Remus could hardly ask for more.

He'd been there once, yes, but it was for such a short time that it hardly felt like Remus had gotten the chance to let the magic sink in.

Ruby was an odd case, Remus could admit. She didn't hang out as much with the other, older rabbits, who played about in the meadow. She preferred to stay inside with Remus, playing hide and seek or watching Remus finish homework. Or maybe it wasn't that it was the inside that Ruby liked – maybe it was Remus's presence.

“I promise I'll stay with you for ages tomorrow, all right?” he said, staring into Ruby's red eyes, and she finally let go. He slung the knapsack over his shoulder and gave a short little smile as he walked off.

The trip to Diagon Alley was lengthy, but worth it. He sat next to the window on the Muggle train that he and his parents boarded, and gawked out of the glass window. His chest thrummed with excitement as the green countryside rolled by, eventually replaced by the smoky grey of London. Sky-high buildings soared towards the smoggy sky; the wind blew harder and harder in the summery air than near Remus's countryside home.

As the Lupin family walked hand-in-hand to Diagon Alley, Remus thought hard about the first time he'd been to Diagon Alley, hardly a year ago. He hadn't gone to the clothes store for a fresh set of robes, or to buy a new, shiny cauldron.

He and his father had only gone to the odd little wand shop, Ollivander's. The frail man had ghosted his hands over boxes of wands until he'd eventually lain his hands on what would soon be Remus's. “10 and a ¼ inches…” Ollivander whispered. “Cypress … unicorn hair … nice and limber.”

The absence of his wand felt unmistakeable in the pocket of his robes, and he yearned for it, the first thing he had ever owned himself.

“Come on, Remus,” Lyall said gruffly, tugging on Remus's hand.

Remus gasped, his wand forgotten – for Diagon Alley opened up before him.

It resonated with magic and life. Everywhere he whipped his head there was another brilliant store, throngs of colourful witches and wizards walking in and out. Shops boasted owls of various breeds and shades, hooting inquisitively as people walked by. Apothecaries stood in rows, offering glittering vials and steaming cauldrons, writhing emerald plants and glistening animal organs. Brookton's Books showed off fancy, leather-bound volumes like  _Tracking Charms to Keep Your Items Safe_ ,  _Wizarding Religion: Tradition or Out of Fashion?_ and  _Stop Foreign Wizards (Death, Disaster, And Diseases from Overseas.)_

It was spectacular. Remus wished he could stop in the middle of the street to take in his surroundings – but then he realised that would be silly, and that people would stare at him. He squeezed through the mass of wizards and witches, his hands in his parent's.

“ _Ooh_! Look at that, Remus!” Hope said, pointing at a magical pet shop; the owner had accidentally let loose a collection of winged rats, which erratically zoomed into the air, much to the surprise of everyone below. Remus realised that his Muggle mother, too, was mesmerised by the sheer magic of Diagon Alley.

They'd walked for a few minutes before they stopped in a quieter stretch of street, where the crowd had dispersed into other alleyways.

“Don't ever,” said Lyall gruffly, “go down there.” He pointed at an alleyway, with a rickety sign reading, “ _Knockturn Alley_ ” swinging near it. It led into a dark, decrepit alley – and the wind seemed to be still there.

Remus shuddered. He didn't need to be told twice.

They peered at the stores. In between a raggedy talisman shop and Gavin's Gobsmacking Gobstones was Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, what they'd been looking for the entire time. After they'd gone inside the store, a friendly little store with floating cloaks and flying needles knitting cloth by themselves, they got Remus's robes fitted – “You're so big now,” said Hope, giving him an embarrassing cheek squeeze – they walked out into the quiet street once more – “Damn expensive, that shop,” grumbled Lyall.

Remus was feeling quite happy with his new robes, which he hadn't really expected to be able to get, and was surprised by the sound of someone's voice.

“Lu – er, Remus!”

Remus swivelled around; it was Sirius Black, one of his friends.

Sirius had wide grin played across his boyish face, and he still had the same careless black hair hanging around it. However, there had been an attempt to smooth it down with product. Similarly, he looked very smart, with an ironed collared shirt and fancy dress-robes. In short, he looked nothing like Sirius Black.

It was brilliant to see him.

He was walking quickly towards Remus. “Sirius – er, hi!”

“Mate, you seem taller,” complained Sirius, sizing up Remus.

“Yeah, I had to get new robes, see?” Remus lifted up his knapsack, then immediately felt embarrassed. Why did he do that? That was lame. “Er – what are you doing here?”

“Same thing as you,  _obviously_ ,” said Sirius, rolling his eyes. Remus mentally reprimanded himself for asking such a stupid question. “Buying all my school stuff. Can't wait to go back.”

“Who's this?” came Hope's voice. She was beaming down at the two friends. She shook Sirius's hand. “I'm Hope Lupin, Remus's mum.”

“I'm Sirius Black, ma'am.”

It was as if Sirius had been trained all his life in the art of introducing himself. Remus glanced at him. He was staring at an entirely different boy.

Lyall also took Sirius's hand and shook it shortly.

“Is it all right if Remus and I go window shopping?” asked Sirius politely. Remus sent him a surprised expression, but Sirius wasn't looking at him.

“I don't think –”

“ _Of course_ ,” Hope cut in, just as Lyall was about to refuse. She smiled widely. “Have fun, boys, and be safe!”

They began to walk back into the crowd filling up the main street. Witches and wizards in all sorts of attire ambled past Remus and Sirius. The wind blowing in Remus's face made him wince a little.

“Don't think I've ever seen you be that polite,” teased Remus. He almost bumped into a wizard in a top hat, who had charmed his hat to stop flying away in the breeze. Remus rapidly apologised.

“S'what my mum makes me do,” said Sirius, shouldering past a group of young witches, who giggled as he walked past. “Gotta butter up all my relatives so my mum doesn't look bad.”

“Why'd you want to go window shopping?” asked Remus.

“To get away from my family,” said Sirius. There was a sneer across his face. Remus quite liked his smile better. “They are  _nightmares_ , I didn't tell you half of it in the letters – oh, wait, BUGGER!” He said it so loud that Remus jumped. “ _That was your dad_ , wasn't it?”

“Y-yeah, why?”

“Didn't he not want you to have friends, or some crap like that?” Sirius's eyes were open wide. He'd stopped in the middle of the street, and a few disgruntled witches shouldered past him. “I shouldn't have been said I was your friend, your dad's gonna be mad -”

“Oh, right. No, it's fine,” said Remus hurriedly. He accidentally knocked into a stern wizard, who shot him a glower as Remus scurried away. “I, er, had a talk with him, you know. He admitted he went about it sort of wrong. We said sorry. S'all right now.”

“Really?” Sirius had started walking again, but he didn't sound any less shocked.

Remus struggled to keep up with Sirius's pace. Man, he was fast. “Uh, yeah.”

“Does that happen a lot?” Remus glanced at Sirius's face, which was oddly blank. “Does he … say that he's wrong a lot? Say sorry?”

“Er – not really,” said Remus. “It's kind of new, but it's nice. I guess when he  _is_ wrong, he'll say it.”

Sirius said nothing but made a quiet, thoughtful hum.

They stopped in front of Brookton's Books, and didn't speak for a bit. It was quite a splendid store, somewhere Remus would like to sit inside of and spend hours at a time reading. He resolved himself to staring through the windows, then begged Sirius to come inside with him.

They walked into the crowded bookstore, and Remus zeroed in on the book about illnesses he'd been inspecting,  _Magickal Maladies and their Cures_ by Snesna Isenna. Did it mention werewolves? It did! A terrible thrill rushed through him –

“Strange of him to ask you to do that, don't you think?” asked Sirius absent-mindedly. His fingers were lightly dancing over books that Remus was sure Sirius was entirely uninterested in.

“Hmm?” Remus was too engrossed in the horrid looking diagrams in the book – pustule-covered wizards convulsed in inky agony across the pages. Remus wanted to read about lycanthropy – perhaps there was a cure mentioned in the pages?

“It was strange,” said Sirius, “that he told you not to have friends.”

Remus paused, not flipping the page. His eyes were still, trained on the drawing before him, but his heart was pounding in his chest. “I – I don't understand what you're saying.”

“Why would he ask you to do that?” asked Sirius. It sounded as if he'd thought about this before, which worried Remus. The thought of finding something close to a cure left his mind.

Was … was Sirius onto the fact that Remus was harbouring a secret?

“Dunno,” said Remus quickly. “My dad's an odd fellow.”

“Seemed pretty normal to me,” said Sirius, but the matter was dropped.

“This shop's boring,” moaned Sirius after a while. “Can we leave?”

They left Brookton's Books in favour of a Quidditch supplies store that Sirius seemed extremely excited about, so Remus waited patiently inside. Sirius was particularly excited about a new broomstick model – the Nimbus 1001 – and glided his fingers over it longingly. “Flying is the best thing in the world,” confided Sirius.

“Says the bloke who screamed riding Archie last year.”

“Oi, stop laughing at me! It's different when you're playing a game and you're clinging to dear life to a  _bloody dragon_.”

The next half hour was pretty fun, Remus thought. They were walking back to the quieter stretch where they'd first seen one another, ice creams in hand (which were both out of Sirius's pocket, and Remus felt guilty about it) and laughter on their faces. After they'd gotten past the odd tension about Remus's father, Remus remembered how fun and how  _funny_ Sirius could be. It was just Remus's luck, of course, that it went terribly wrong.

He felt it a second before he heard it. The  _whoosh_ of the wind, stronger than anything before, came at him and he felt like he had just been violently pushed by an invisible force.

Someone shrieked out, “It's the Wild Wind!”

“It's doing it again!”

Remus groaned. Not the Wild Wind. It had, of course, been going a little mad up near where Remus lived. The day he'd first met Ruby the rabbit, of course, his homework almost went flying. But that was nothing compared to the Wind in London.

Sirius swore over the wind. Remus instinctively grabbed a handful of Sirius's robes.

They were struggling to find their footing, and he felt his body being hurtled in the direction the Wild Wind was blowing.

“Try and get inside there!” Remus shouted at Sirius, pointing at a nearby cauldron store –

Remus saw people charming themselves to go flying a little less far, wizards running into stores, witches helping people inside –

But Remus and Sirius were children, and thus quite light, and he felt the Wild Wind hammer on them harder than anyone else.

A yelp escaped him as he finally went hurtling with the Wind. “Remus!” said Sirius, trying to reach for him. That sent Sirius flying too and they both tumbled through the air –

After a brief moment of feeling as if he'd been through a cyclone and back, Remus collapsed to the ground, Sirius landing right next to him. The Wind was not blowing, wherever they were.

They both groaned – where were they? A dark alleyway opened up around them, and dread rose up in Remus's stomach.

The Wind whipped down Diagon Alley's main street had pushed Remus into what he recognised as Knockturn Alley. Sure enough, Remus looked down the alley towards the exit, and the rickety sign that had been spinning there only an hour ago was ripped from its pole from the sheer force of the Wind. Good Godric.

Knockturn Alley was a smaller, secluded shopping area enveloped in darkness. The Wind wasn't blowing down here, thank Godric. Still, all the doors to the dusty, haunting stores had been slammed shut.

“Are we in Knockturn Alley?” whispered Sirius.

“Yes,” said Remus sadly.

“ _Awesome_.” Sirius was already getting up, brushing off his fancy dress-robes. “My dad never lets me come with him when he comes down here.”

“What does your dad do  _here_?” asked Remus weakly. It looked so spooky, so decrepit that Remus wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

Sirius didn't answer, and he was now walking down the alleyway, deeper into Knockturn Alley. Remus groaned – but he followed.

All the store's doors were closed, probably from people scared of the Wild Wind, even though there was nothing blowing down Knockturn Alley.

Water spilled from a leakage in one of the stores, which Remus could see sold potions ingredients – but from what Remus could see they were blacker, deathlier. Remus avoided a puddle, but Sirius cheerfully splashed in it.

“Godric, this is so cool,” he said, pointing at a store which seemed to have nothing inside but a menagerie of bats.

“I guess so,” said Remus weakly, but suddenly Sirius whipped around, a finger on his lips.

“Shh, I hear something.”

Remus got closer to Sirius – who was pressed close to the bat store, trying to peer 'round the corner.

“Hey, hold this for me, I'm going to try see,” whispered Sirius, handing over knapsack, which held only a few schoolbooks and a packet of tissues.

“See what?” asked Remus, but he got no answer. He heard two voices arguing with one another.

“…c-c-can't do this. I'm not strong enough…” said one.

“We must,” insisted the other.

“…th-the risk … oh, no, we would be caught, punished…”

“Our masters say we must, so we  _must_ ,” the second one said again. “Look – their minions are here, all around us! We  _must_.”

“…O-our?” the first said timidly. “I-I … they're not my master,” he finally finished.

“How dare you?” the second snarled. “Apologise!”

“N-no…”

There was silence, and then a slap. Sirius jumped at the noise. There was a pause, and then Remus heard crying.

“Stop crying,” demanded the second voice again. “I think someone is nearby. We have to leave.”

There was a loud  _crack_  that Remus recognised as the sound of Apparation. Sirius and Remus both rushed around the store to look at down the alley, but it was now empty.

“What the hell was that about?” asked Sirius.

“Did you see who they were?” Remus questioned.

“Nah, but they sounded like two blokes,” Sirius said. “My dad's age, maybe. Do you have any idea what that was about?”

It was quite strange, and Remus was definitely extremely troubled by the exchange – Who were they? Why was one of them so mean to the other? Who were their “masters”? – but Remus figured it didn't concern him. After all, this  _was_ Knockturn Alley, where spooky things were bound to happen.

“No clue,” said Remus, walking tentatively down the dim alley. “Oh wait, there's something there! Oh, urgh.”

It was the carcass of one of the flying rats, which was now dead. It looked as if something had taken bites out of it.

Remus almost threw up. Sirius thought it was the coolest thing in the world.

*

Eventually, after the Wind had subsided, they left Knockturn Alley and Remus found his parents who had both been worried sick, cooped up in Gavin's Gobsmacking Gobstones. It was, in fact, a pretty cool store, with live, flying balls, and jars of putrid liquid, and after a bit of begging, Lyall agreed to buy Remus a Gobstones set. Granted, it was second-hand, and Remus thought that one of the Gobstone balls were faulty because it kept squeezing liquid out, but he was quite happy with it.

Sirius, on the other hand, seemed less happy to part from Remus. He kept bemoaning having to return to his family, and Remus felt a twinge of guilt for his friend, but they were going to see each other soon when the term started, which Remus supposed was good enough.

As they were walking back to the exit of Diagon Alley, past apothecaries and bookstores, Remus suddenly realised he was still holding Sirius's knapsack.

“Oh! I have to return this.”

Lyall huffed, but he let Remus go, making Remus  _promise_ to be safer this time.

It took Remus a good five minutes of searching, but he finally found Sirius, who was standing outside that Quidditch supplies shop that Sirius had visited before. He was standing with a tall, imposing woman, who Remus presumed was his mother, and a shorter, proud-looking boy, who Remus presumed was Regulus.

Remus was about to approach, but he hesitated once he heard the shouting.

“–gone for an hour, you stupid boy!” Mrs Black was yelling. She was seething with pure rage, and Remus stepped back instinctively, though she could not see him.

“Didn't mind though, really, did you?” Sirius snapped. He pointed at the Regulus. “You've got him, why would you want me?”

“For once in your life, you've got things right,” she snarled back. “Why would I want you, a child Sorted into Gryffindor?”

“Reggie hasn't even been Sorted yet! You don't know what he'll be!”

“Regulus is the perfect example of a Black boy,  _unlike you_ ,” Mrs Black said, bristling. “Of course, he will be in Slytherin.”

“I really hope he makes Hufflepuff, just to see your face when it happens –”

“Don't speak to your mother like that –”

“Don't speak to me like that!”

Mrs Black's wand was out faster than lightning. “ _Silencio_!” she snapped, and suddenly there was no sound coming out of Sirius's mouth.

His reaction – not one of horror, but rather frustration – made Remus think that this was not an uncommon occurrence. Remus felt as if he couldn't say anything either, but not because of magic, but because of his sheer cowardliness. Should he step in? But this was his mother, he reasoned. She would know best, right?

“Good,” Mrs Black said, yanking Sirius's collar to drag him towards her. “Now, let's go shopping for a broomstick for  _Regulus_ , because  _Regulus_ listens to his mother. Isn't that right, Regulus?”

“Yes, mother,” Regulus said simply.

Remus didn't know what to do. He had less clue about this situation than of that whispering argument in Knockturn Alley. He backed away slowly then burst into a sprint away, far, far away.

He was carrying the same amount of things as before, but suddenly the weight around his shoulders felt a lot heavier.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a while! School is really hectic! I'll try my best to update as much as I can.


	23. Second Year: The Stowaway in the Suitcase

— CHAPTER THREE —

**_The Stowaway in the Suitcase_ **

 

Remus's breath hitched as he tumbled through the barrier between Kings Cross and Platform 9 and ¾. His fingers tightened around his suitcase's handle – Godric, it was much heavier this year – and it collided against his knees. Ouch.

He gazed around at the platform and sighed happily.  _Magic._ A witch girl was charming her sister's robes to start dancing around, and beside them, a man at a stall was trying to sell magical drinks that talked to you.

Not long after had Remus burst through onto the platform than his parents came through too, hand-in-hand. For the first time ever, Hope was accompanying her son and her husband to Platform 9 and ¾, and she seemed enthralled at the world around her.

“Wow, look at that, she has a pet owl!” gasped Hope, pointing towards a red-nosed girl with her family.

Platform 9 and ¾ vibrated with magic. Families of wizard and witch students moved among a massive crowd, obscured by the steam from the scarlet, stationary Hogwarts Express. Remus heard owls hoot, and frogs croak, and the loud hubbub of laughter and conversation.

Lyall coughed. “Go on, son. It's almost eleven.”

“Have fun, sweetie,” said Hope, kissing Remus's forehead.

“What your mother said,” Lyall added. “And study hard. Write to me, all right?”

Remus peered at his two parents curiously. Why had they both come today – and in fact, why had Hope come with them to Diagon Alley too? Perhaps, and this was just something Remus was deducing, perhaps not only had Hope asked Lyall to try harder. Maybe Hope was trying harder too. Maybe everything in his family was trying a little harder. This was a good thing, and it felt very nice, Remus decided, and he lamented the moment he had to let his mum's hand go.

“I will,” said Remus cheerfully, and he was off.

No sooner had Remus put his foot on the Hogwarts Express before the conductor's whistle sounded, signalling the arrival of eleven o'clock. The hiss of the pistons rung through the air and the train began to move slowly, creaking out of the station.

Remus's hand hurt from waving goodbye to his parents so hard.

_Wow_ , he was back in the magical world. It felt surreal.

Sure, he lamented the end of the summer. After all, he wouldn't Ruby and her group of rabbit friends, and play in the meadow with them anymore. But he was thrilled to get back to Hogwarts (even if Ruby was quite sad about it) and see his friends again!

Granted, what if they didn't want to be friends anymore? Maybe this was a silly thing to think about – but James's, Sirius's, and Peter's letters  _had_ gotten progressively shorter. Worry gnawed at him from the inside.

Another pleasing thing about returning to Hogwarts was that the full moon transformations would be smoother. It wasn't that Hope Lupin's chicken soup, or Lyall's magic protections weren't great; but the shack at school he transformed in was wider and stronger, and Madam Pomfrey's magical medicines and healing spells were immediate and long-lasting.

“Oh, Remus!”

He swivelled around and tilted his head downwards just a fraction to make eye contact with Peter Pettigrew, one of his friends. His round face split into a grin, showing off prominent front teeth.

“Oh, hullo, Peter. All right?”

“Yeah, 'course,” said Peter through a mouthful of sweets. “I was just looking for the trolley witch,” he admitted, somewhat bashfully. After a long silence, he said, “Hey, I'll show you where we're sitting!”

Relief flooded his body. So, he  _did_ still want to be friends! Thank Godric.

Peter led him down to a compartment a little way down the train. Inside, was James Potter, who was cleaning his glasses. At the sight of Remus, he made a surprised noise and shoved his glasses back onto his long nose. James then mussed up his jet black hair. (Thought there wasn't much point, really, Remus reasoned. It was already messy enough.)

“Lupin!” he said loudly, as Peter plopped down beside him. “It's good to see you, mate!”

Remus sat opposite them. “You too.”

“How's your summer been?” James asked, then grinned. “Wait – never mind, you don't need to say. Sends letters longer than essays, doesn't he, Pete?”

“Right.” Peter snickered.

Remus coloured. “Oh – sorry. I didn't – I didn't realise –”

James burst into laughter. “I'm  _kidding_.”

He was saved from having to respond to this by the sound of the compartment door sliding open. It was Sirius Black, who was dressed in very similar attire to the time Remus had last seen him.

“Sirius!” said James cheerfully.

“Oh, finally, it's you lot,” said Sirius. As he dropped down beside Remus, he began to tear away at the buttons on his dress shirt, starting from the collar. “Now I can  _breathe_ ,” he said dramatically, and James and Peter laughed.

The sight of Sirius was very jarring to Remus. He didn't know how to feel. Sirius seemed to be emulating his self last year; he'd asked too many questions for Remus to feel easy.

And there was the fact that last he'd seen Sirius, he'd been magically silenced by his mother – which Remus was conflicted about as well. Was this normal? His father had never done that to him; was Remus's family just strange?

Before any of them could say anything else, Sirius launched into a furious rant. “You know, I'd thought it'd take longer than all of five minutes for Reggie to convert to the dark side. But as soon as he saw darling  _Cissy_ , he latched onto her like a plague,” he snarled. “They'll probably get married soon as he's old enough.”

Peter's face scrunched up. “Yuck. Don't say that, they're cousins.”

James seemed to think this situation was funny. “They're the Blacks, Pete! They're all the same! Marrying a cousin's better than marrying a Muggle.”

Sirius's eyes flickered for a moment. Remus was concerned – maybe Sirius didn't take this well? But then Sirius gave a grin. “It's true.”

“Who's Cissy?” asked Remus politely.

Though this really wasn't the point of the conversation, Remus's heart panged because – really, he should know all of this already?

Sirius yanked the last button from his sleeve, then began rolling them up to reveal pale arms. “My cousin Narcissa. She's a nightmare, takes in all that pureblood rubbish. Wouldn't put it past her to join that You-Know-Who stuff when she's older.”

Remus was hardly aware of the 'You-Know-Who stuff' that was going on. Lyall said nothing. He made a mental note to ask Lily or Sirius another time for more details.

Peter shuddered. “Has, er, what's her name? Bellatrix?”

Sirius's face went dark. “I think so. Dad's been saying all this crap over the summer; how proud he is of Bella. How he expects us to follow in her footsteps, do the right thing. I will  _never_.” Sirius kicked at his luggage, and the three of them stared silently. “ _Never_ ,” he added for emphasis.

“Yeah, we know, mate,” said James gently.

“Would Reggie?” asked Peter timidly.

Sirius paused, as if deep in thought. Then he added, “Nah. Never.”

The rest of the train ride was much more light-hearted. In an attempt to cheer Sirius up, James regaled one of his stories over the summer about how he'd unclogged his bottomless pit in his garden of a gnome infestation. This inspired Sirius to excitedly tell James and Peter that he and Remus had gone on an adventure in Knockturn Alley, during an outburst of the Wild Wind.

“Do you have any idea about what the chat you heard was about?” asked Peter excitedly.

Sirius shrugged. “Nah. What do you think, Remus?”

“No clue,” he said. “Oh wait, Sirius! I forgot to return your bag. Hold on.”

He unzipped his trunk, trying to find Sirius's knapsack, but was met with an incredibly jarring sight. Nestled in a pair of Remus's robes and his Gobstones set was Ruby the rabbit. Her unmistakeable white fur and bright eyes flashed at Remus.

“What the –”

“Is that a rabbit?” asked Peter. “Wow!”

She hopped out of the trunk, and she seemed to be saying, “Finally!” She stretched her white limbs and yawned, jumping onto Remus's lap. This finally stirred Remus into action.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded. “You're meant to be back home!”

“I snuck in when you weren't wooking,” said Ruby.  _I snuck in when you weren't looking_. She sounded like a reprimanded child.

“You're not allowed to be here,” hissed Remus. “Hogwarts students can only keep toads, rats and owls at school.”

“I wanted to be with you,” she whined.

Remus sighed. “Oh, all right. I guess.”

“Remus,” cut in Sirius. “You're talking. To a rabbit.”

“Hmm?” Remus looked up from Ruby. “Oh, no. I'm not  _talking_  to her. You just have to pay attention to her, that's all.”

He realised all three of the Marauders were looking at him strangely, and he gulped with embarrassment.

“This is my pet rabbit Ruby,” said Remus, brandishing her fluffy body in his hands.

Peter reached over to brush her fur. “She's real cute!”

“Did she sneak into your suitcase?” asked James, grinning. “Outsmarted by a bunny, Lupin!”

Remus huffed. “Yeah, I guess. I don't know what to do.”

“Just keep her at school,” suggested Peter.

“Yeah, we wouldn't tell,” said James. “You're a fellow Marauder. It's part of the rules.”

“It'd be like another secret,” said Sirius, a glint in his eyes.

“We have rules now?” asked Remus, amused.

“Yup,” James said, head held high. “Rule one: Never betray another Marauder. It's against Marauder code – it's treason!”

Sirius snorted. “You really are an idiot.”

At that moment, Ruby decided to hop at Peter, but misjudged her jump, and collided with his face. Sirius and James couldn't stop roaring with laughter, and Remus hurriedly made sure Ruby and Peter were okay.

“You know, I think the dragon was much cooler,” James said, and they all burst into laughter once again.

*

“Oh, Lily!” said Remus as the second years filed into the Great Hall. Warmth spread in his chest. He liked the Marauders a lot, but he liked Lily just as much. She had been his first ever friend at Hogwarts.

Lily, who'd been talking to Mary MacDonald, turned around, her red hair whipping in the air, and her lightly freckled face split into a grin. “Remus, hullo! How've you been?”

“All right,” said Remus, as he sat down beside her. James took a seat next to Remus, Sirius on his other side.

He'd had to put Ruby in his trunk again to sneak her up without getting in trouble. “I'm sorry, but you  _did_ come here,” he'd hissed at Ruby. He didn't zip up his trunk the full way anyway – and hopefully when whatever magical force floated up their trunks to their dorms, Ruby would be able to get out.

The Great Hall was already almost completely full. The chattering faded away as Professor McGonagall led a procession of first years into the Hall. As everybody watched, she placed down a stool and an ancient-looking wizard's hat: the Sorting Hat.

A tear at the brim of the Hat grew. The whole school seemed to take in a breath and then –

 

“ _Thousands of years have passed,_

_Since the Sorting Hat was knit,_

_My aim? To look inside you all,_

_And find out where you'll fit._

_I was made centuries ago,_

_By the founders of these halls,_

_Those famous four friends of repute,_

_With magic, great and small._

_Gryffindor announced that he,_

_Would accept only the bold;_

_Slytherin respected those_

_With ambition untold._

_Ravenclaw instead said that_

_Hogwarts was for the clever;_

_Hufflepuff accepted all,_

_Whomever and whenever._

_It seemed that all would be calm,_

_That serenity would rule._

_But conflict crept upon these walls,_

_And almost tore apart this school._

_This is why I sing this song,_

_This tune is a true warning;_

_For if peacefulness does not prevail,_

_It will be a time for mourning._

_Like those ancient friends, so long ago,_

_I fear we'll copy what they've done._

_For Sorting students into four,_

_Means we're no longer one._

_To each and everyone one of you:_

_I implore you, give this thought!_

_Now that my warning is done,_

_I suppose it's time to Sort._ ”

 

There was a pause, before applause broke out among the students of Hogwarts. However, there were also mutterings and whisperings interspersed throughout the clapping. The song that the Sorting Hat had sung this year – it was true, it seemed a lot longer than the previous year's (though Remus only had vague memories of that too) and touched on other topics.

“What was that about?” muttered James to Sirius.

“Dunno,” he said back.

“The war,  _obviously_ ,” hissed Lily.

Nobody had anything to say to that (James rolled his eyes), but the mood around the Gryffindor table dropped drastically.

The Sorting Ceremony dragged on. Remus, obviously, knew none of the first years – except he recognised the sight of Regulus Black. When “Black, Regulus,” was called up to try on the Sorting Hat, the boy walked with an air of dignity and pride towards the front of the school. Hardly a moment's deliberation had followed before the Sorting Hat yelled out, “Slytherin!”

Sirius, behind Remus, took a sharp intake of breath and swore under his breath. Remus wanted to swivel around and give Sirius a comforting pat on the shoulder, but he couldn't help the feeling that it wasn't his business. It was Sirius's issue, and he didn't want to intrude or anything. If Sirius wanted to keep his problems to himself, who was Remus to say otherwise?

The Sorting finally ended after, “Zhang, Sarah,” was sorted into Ravenclaw. After Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, and all-round enigma to Remus, stood up and said, “Enjoy!” food appeared magically on their once-empty plates.

As Remus dug into a plate of sausages and mash, Lily was saying, “I got your letter about the History of Magic question!” Her eyes were alight, as if this were equally as thrilling as going on an adventure. “From what I read Gragnok the Third had  _actually_ intended to  _prevent_ the infamous Wand Stealing Riots, but he in fact  _enabled_ it and thus –”

James yawned loudly, cutting her off. “Evans, some of us are trying to  _eat_.”

Titters broke out among the Gryffindors. Lily flushed but stopped talking. Remus sighed.

Dinner continued. Peter and James got into trouble for throwing tarts at some Slytherin boys – was it possible to have  _negative_ house points? – and Sirius wouldn't stop grumbling into his pudding, but all in all, Remus enjoyed the hearty meal, and even got Lily to start talking again about their holiday homework.

As most people finished their meals and puddings, Dumbledore clapped his hands together once again to make a speech at the front of the school. Talk died down and he smiled.

“Good evening, everyone, and welcome back to Hogwarts,” said Dumbledore. “I'd like to give out a few notices before we go off to bed. Mr Filch would like to remind everyone that he will  _not_ fishing out for your rubbish if you accidentally throw it away. He also asked me to remind everyone that defacing paintings is  _not_ a past-time or hobby that is respectable or legal.”

James grinned. “Remember that one, Sirius?”

“Mm,” grunted Sirius non-committally.

“I would also like to introduce our new member of staff, Professor Jiminy Jewel, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher,” continued Dumbledore brightly. “Professor Jewel, would you mind please standing up?”

A man unfamiliar to Remus rose from his seat at the staff table and gave a little hand gesture that could pass as a wave. He was a very skinny, tall man with an auburn moustache and pushed-back hair. He vaguely reminded Remus of his own father. Professor Jewel sat back down.

“Now that I think we are all well-informed and our bellies full, it is time for bed,” said Dumbledore warmly. Thus, he sent everybody off to their dorms. The Gryffindors made their way up to Gryffindor Tower, which was hidden behind a portrait of a rather large lady in a pink dress.

“Password?” she asked.

“Gobbledygook,” said a Prefect, whom Remus vaguely recalled was named Frank Longbottom.

The portrait swung forwards into the Gryffindor Common Room. They climbed through the hole in the wall into a warm common room, with a merrily dancing fire in one corner and cushiony armchairs and tables littered about.

“Goodnight,” said Lily to Remus, and she disappeared through a doorway towards the girl's dormitories. Remus remembered last year when he'd asked Fawkes to fly up there to retrieve Lily's two-way parchment.

“Dunno why you're friends with her,” muttered James as the four second-years made their up into the boys' dormitories.

“Yeah, she's a such a –  _swot_ ,” complained Sirius.

“You say I'm a swot all the time,” reasoned Remus.

“Yeah, well … you're a  _cool_ swot,” Sirius said.

Remus laughed quietly, despite himself. “All righty then.”

Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter climbed up a spiral staircase to reach their own dormitory at the very top of Gryffindor Tower. Four four-poster beds with bright crimson hangings stood firmly against the walls. Remus's was the one closest to the window, Sirius's beside his. Their trunks had already arrived – Remus's own shabby one was already all the way open.

Ruby had begun exploring their dormitory.

“Don't do that,” Remus said weakly to Ruby, who was attempting to break open James's trunk with her paws. Finally, he dragged her away, and brought her to his bed, hugging her to him.

“Hey, what's this?” said Sirius, grabbing up Remus's second-hand Gobstones set from his open trunk. “Whoa, is this Gobstones? You really are a nerd.”

“I used to play that,” said Peter excitedly from his bed, his legs swinging wildly over the edge.

James had lain down on his bed all the way, and yawned, “Yeah – and so does every baby witch and wizard.”

“I know that,” Peter added defensively. “I was just saying.”

Remus snatched his Gobstones set from Sirius, feeling a bit defensive himself. “I was thinking of joining the club,” he said thoughtfully.

James jerked up from his bed, hitting his head against the roof of it. Sirius matched James's reaction, with an appalled expression written all over his boyish face.

“ _Lupin_ ,” implored James. “Didn't you hear us? Gobstones is for first years and people who can't play Quidditch.”

Part of Remus wanted to speak up, to defend himself. To say that he'd never gotten a chance to play Gobstones, this iconic part of every magical kid's childhood, until Dumbledore had introduced it to him.

But a bigger part of him hesitated. His thrill about the game had been killed by his friend's derision. All summer, he'd pondered about whether his friends wanted to  _stay_ friends with him. Was he really going to sacrifice that for a stupid game?

“Right.” Remus coughed. “Was kidding anyway.”

Ruby's red eyes were uncomfortably judgemental. 


	24. Second Year: Professor Jewel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you want?” snapped James. “Run along to your greasy little boyfriend.”
> 
> Lily huffed, but did leave to run along to her greasy little boyfriend.

— CHAPTER FOUR —

**_Professor Jewel_ **

 

Remus stared at the Gryffindor noticeboard. The wooden board was propped up on a wall in the Common Room. It was long, and though it had only been one night since the school term had started, already had some flyers up. A large poster with brazen red text read:  _Quidditch Tryouts_   _this Thursday morning!_ Remus’s eyes lingered on another poster beside it, smaller and a little droopier.  _Gobstones Club first meeting Thursday after dinner. Be there or be a Globstone!_

Remus had woken up that morning because of Ruby’s nuzzling, which he grumbled at. Nevertheless, he promised to bring her breakfast.

“Lookin’ to join Quidditch, huh?” James grinned, sidling up beside Remus. Peter toddled up as well.

Remus scoffed and finally tore his eyes away from the Gobstones Club poster. “Of course not.”

“He’s too much of a nerd, aren’t you, Remus?” laughed Sirius, coming up behind them.

The Marauders began to walk from the Common Room to breakfast.

“We’ll make sure when we make the team that we’ll save a spot for you and Pete,” teased James.

Remus rolled his eyes, but Peter looked decidedly pleased.

Breakfast materialised in front of the Marauders at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall – sausages, eggs, toast, spreads. Remus was pleased at the meals; nothing beat Hogwarts. He helped himself to servings of sausages as Professor McGonagall stalked around the table, handing out timetables.

James groaned, staring at the timetable. “We have Defence with Slytherin first thing.”

Sirius’s delighted expression turned back to stormy, mirroring last night. Clearly, he was thinking of Regulus being sorted into Slytherin.

“Well, at least we have a new professor,” said Remus, trying to lighten the mood. “He seems nice.”

“Looks kinda, er, twitchy, don’t you think?” said Peter twitchily.

James agreed. “I hope to Godric he’s good.”

Sirius looked thoughtful. “Not a lot can beat Tacey though, can it? Her being a  _banshee_ and everything.”

Professor Tacey, their secretly half-banshee ex-Professor who had ridden away with Archie at the end of their last school year, was admittedly pretty  _cool_.

“Half a banshee,” said Remus, and that was that.

Remus definitely did  _not_ think hard about the way Sirius had said “banshee.” He definitely did  _not_  consider that Sirius hadn’t said it with hatred – but rather with mingled awe and apprehension. Remus definitely did  _not_ care about this because he himself happened to be not-fully-human too.

Nope. Definitely not.

After running upstairs to Gryffindor Tower to give Ruby as much food as he could carry, Remus and his friends hurried back down to the bottom floor, not wanting to be late to their first class. The Gryffindor and Slytherin second years made their ways into a cosy little classroom on the first floor after breakfast ended. Lily, who was walking in with Severus, gave Remus a little wave.

Remus and Severus looked at each other once – then looked away quickly. Remus didn’t know where they stood. He didn’t think they had ever been friends, per se, but they were acquaintances once, before Severus had attacked Archie and poisoned Sirius, and Remus had tricked Severus into helping him out.

“Hey, James, sit here!” Peter said, gesturing to his seat, but James, shooting Peter an apologetic look, instead sat with Sirius. Remus thus awkwardly sat beside a dejected Peter.

Professor Jewel was already sitting at his desk, going through papers rapidly and scratching his moustache. Beside him was a large trunk with ominous-looking locks.

“Oh – h-hello everybody,” he said as everybody sat down, a smile on his youthful face. “Good morning. I’m Professor Jewel. I am now your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. I’d like to start off the lesson by asking everyone to put their wands away.”

There was a low groan in the classroom. Sirius and James exchanged knowing, irritated glances. Never had a fun lesson started with the phrase, ‘wands away.’

“Well, I’ve heard that you’ve done a  _lot_ of theoretical work last year on all the Dark creatures, as well as some practical wandwork,” said Professor Jewel approvingly. “This is great – but from what I’ve seen from your previous teacher’s reports, you haven’t had a lot of practical experience with creatures. This is troublesome, because practical work is just as important as theory, and which is why I plan to get a lot done this year.”

The weary mood in the classroom disappeared at once. Lily seemed to sit even more uprightly in her seat.  _Practical work with Dark creatures?_ That was unheard of!

“I have always, er, had a  _gripe_ with the – er,  _nomenclature_  of Defence Against the Dark Arts,” said Professor Jewel.

He stood up from his seat, and Remus realised that he was quite a tall man. But, like Hagrid, he didn’t tower over everyone imposingly. Rather he seemed to look over them all kindly.

“I have always actually considered the term ‘Dark creatures’ a silly name,” he continued. “The creatures we will be dealing with – hags, werewolves, trolls – are not inherently  _dark_.”

The class seemed to murmur. What was this bloke saying? Remus himself jolted at the statement.

“It is silly to say that the creatures are evil, just because they are born as such, because this is  _impossible_. Few creatures that we deal with in Defence are completely evil. You’ve been taught time and time again that these creatures are evil. But they are not.”

The class shifted again. Awkwardly. Unsurely.

“In fact,” said Professor Jewel, “they are much like humans. There are bad ones, of course, but there are goods one too. Some are not even intelligent enough to distinguish between good and bad. Some are actually humans too – vampires, hags, werewolves – and are  _not_ all Dark.”

He began to walk around the classroom, and each and every head turned. His words, though maybe confusing, were captivating.

“Sir, what’s the point of this?” interrupted a Slytherin boy, Evan Rosier. His sharp features seemed to glare at Professor Jewel.

Professor Jewel stopped his pacing, but he didn’t look angry. Rather, he was smiling softly. “The point is that before I discuss these creatures and show them to you, I need you to know they are not  _Dark_. They are complex and confusing and all different. Calling them Dark only gives them power they do not have, and instils fear into you that shouldn’t be there. They are living beings,  _just like you_.”

Remus felt – oh, he didn’t know how to describe it. He didn’t know how he felt. It was too unfamiliar of a feeling – but he knew that, if anything, he felt  _different_. He was not the same. Professor Jewel’s words had shaken Remus to the core.

Professor Jewel clapped his hands together. “Now, that you have all listened to me blather on, I have a surprise for you.”

He walked back over to his desk, and with a flick of his incredibly long wand, a lock on the suitcase snapped open. He tapped it lightly.

“Pester, please come out. Cornish pixies generally dark, enclosed spaces,” Professor Jewel explained as a blur of bright blue shot out of the suitcase. It took Remus’s eyes a second to realise that it was indeed a pixie, a small human-like blue thing that zipped and zapped through the air.

There were murmurs of excitement rumbling throughout the classroom as Pester the pixie darted about.

“Pester, please calm down,” laughed Professor Jewel.

Pester the pixie seemed to chirp, “ _Fine_ ,” and he stilled in the air.

“Now, do we really think that Pester over here is a  _Dark_  creature?” asked Professor Jewel, and a couple of people chuckled. “The worse that Pester over here can do is lift your things and tip them over, like – ah,  _Pester_!”

Pester had gotten bored from hovering still in the air for too long, and with incredible strength, had flipped over Evan Rosier’s desk – who, in an attempt to hold onto his desk, was flipped over himself too. Raucous laughter and shrieks were heard all about the joyous classroom.

Professor Jewel amusedly swished his wand in the air to return everything back to order. After he made sure Evan was all right, he snapped to the pixie, “Enough from you, back in the box! Silly pixie.”

He was shaking his head, but he was grinning as Pester flew back into the suitcase.

“Right – right, everyone, calm down,” he said good-naturedly. “That’s enough fun for today. I want everyone to write down what I said about calling all creatures Dark, and why that is detrimental, all right? Pester,  _stay in that box_ –”

“That was pretty good, wasn’t it?” said James after the lesson was over and the Marauders had sat down at the Great Hall for a short morning tea before the next class.

Pretty good? To Remus that had been the most wonderful hour of his life yet. Never had someone said things so not-negative about Dark creatures like Remus before. It was a wonderful feeling to hear someone say ‘werewolf’ and not have a sneer of disgust all over their face.

“I don’t know,” said Lily, butting into the conversation. “We didn’t get a lot of theory down.”

“What do you want?” snapped James, Peter squeaking in indignant agreement. “Run along to your greasy little boyfriend.”

Lily huffed, but did leave to run along to her greasy little boyfriend.

“What did you think, Remus?” asked Sirius through a mouthful of biscuits.

Remus, who was still pondering about how truly great that lesson had been to him, merely said, “Oh? It was good.”

Sirius was still staring at Remus, but Remus didn’t mind. He was far too happy to be concerned about things like that. However, it seemed that Sirius was just about to ask more; unfortunately, he began to have a violent coughing fit, most probably choking on his biscuits.

*

“Do we even like James and Sirius enough to be up here this early?” joked Remus to Peter.

“Of course, we do,” said Peter hurriedly, a wild look in his eyes. “Don’t you?”

“Uh – yeah, obviously,” coughed Remus. “Was a joke.”

Remus and Peter were both sitting in the Quidditch stands, waiting for the Quidditch team hopefuls to hurry up onto the field already. This was, regrettably, not the first time Remus had been here, having been dragged here at the very end of the term for the final match of the House cup. Remus frankly couldn’t really be bothered with Quidditch.

It was too fast, too erratic, too dizzying for Remus to watch, let alone  _play_. Now Gobstones – that was a sport at Remus’s speed.

Remus mournfully thought of the Gobstones Club meeting later that evening. He was  _definitely_ not going to that – his friends were far too derisive of it to make Remus feel all right with joining.

Remus and Peter were swaddled in scarves and sweaters. Despite it only being autumn, the mornings were frosty, and Remus groaned at having to wake up so early in the cold. However, they had to be supportive for James and Sirius, who were trying out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

“Marauders support Marauders,” James had said loftily, apparently coining yet another rule.

Another gripe Remus had with waking up so early to come down and support his friends – he had to sit with Peter. Not that he didn’t like Peter or anything, but out of all the Marauders, Remus definitely considered Peter least close. They had little in common, and different senses of humour. So, they sat in relative silence, staring down the quiet, grassy Quidditch pitch, chatting ever so often about inane things – like about how good Professor Jewel was, or how boring History of Magic could be.

“I just really hope they finish before breakfast,” whined Remus.

“Agreed. I really hope Sirius gets in,” he added quickly, as an afterthought.

“Not James?” asked Remus curiously.

Peter snickered. “Nah, James doesn’t need my hope; I’ve seen him do risky flying moves at the age of  _nine_. But Sirius … er, I don’t know if I should say.”

Peter seemed hesitant. “Tell me if you want,” said Remus.

“Okay,” Peter said, sounding breathless. “Well, Sirius isn’t that controlled when he’s flying, yeah? And he’s trying out for Beater – but his aim’s wonky. What if he hits a Bludger towards a teammate, y’know?”

Remus knew enough vague facts about the sport that this probably would not be good.

“Don’t tell him I said that,” said Peter nervously. “He’d be real angry.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” Then, silence between the two came back, which Remus didn’t really want, seeing as though he and Peter had just made some progress.

“Why aren’t you down there trying out?” suggested Remus. “You seem to know loads about Quidditch.”

Peter snickered again, but less joyfully this time. “If Sirius’s playing is wonky, mine’s straight up shoddy. Can’t play to save my life.”

“Ah, don’t worry,” said Remus. “You can practice to get better for next year.”

Peter was looking curiously at Remus, as if Remus was an entirely different person. “Right.”

“Remus, hi! Oh, hey Peter,” came a voice. It was Lily, also wrapped in thick clothes for the freezing morning, clambering towards them. She finally took a seat beside Remus, gasping for breath. “Excited for the tryouts?”

“Sure,” said Remus, just as Peter said, “Yes!”

“Who’re you two here for?” asked Lily, then grimaced. “Don’t tell me – Black and Potter?”

Peter nodded vigorously. “How about you?”

“Mary!” said Lily, her thrill matching Peter’s. “She told me I didn’t have to come so early, but I had to!”

“Isn’t she Muggleborn?” asked Peter. When Lily stared at him, he quickly added, “Not that that’s a bad thing! I’m just saying, normally Muggleborns don’t really know Quidditch that well.”

“Right,” said Lily, whose blankness returned to excitement. “But Mary’s been in love with it since she found out it exists, ‘cause she’s so sporty. She’s been practising her flying a lot – oh, and Beating! She used to play Welsh baseball, so she’s a star at Beating –  _ooh_ , they’re coming out now!”

It was true. Those trying out for the Quidditch team were filing out from the door to the change rooms and into the expanse of green grass that was the Quidditch pitch. High above, the goalposts soared in the air, making the Gryffindors down below look quite small. Remus spotted James and Sirius standing beside each other, black-haired boys gripping long broomsticks tight.

The Quidditch team captain, a Gryffindor seventh-year Remus knew whose name was Bilius, or Will Weasley, was quite loud, and Remus could hear his chortling and guffaws all the way from up in the stands. Nobody else seemed to be laughing, probably too nervous.

And then they were off. James was flying in the air with the other prospective Chasers. The tryout, conducted by Will Weasley, was to try and score while being defended by Keeper Alice Farley.

James was quite obviously the best. Out of the other would-be Chasers, James was only the one who scored a goal each and every time he tried. James made so many slight twists and turns in the air that even Remus was perplexed watching him – and each time he managed to trick Alice into flying left, when really, he was chucking the Quaffle to the right. Once James flew close to the stands, and Remus saw a blazingly smug grin on James’s face.

“Show off,” muttered Lily.

Finally, it was time for the Beater tryouts. Four flew up into the air, armed with bats, and Will Weasley released about seven Bludgers into the air. The balls were lightning fast, and Remus winced each time one came too close to Sirius.

Sirius, to his credit, did manage to swat away Bludgers that came his way, or at least dodged them – but Mary MacDonald was better. She whacked each and every Bludger that came close to her with incredible strength. Remus couldn’t stop gawking as he watched, and out of the corner of his eye, saw that Peter was too. Lily glowed with pride.

This, combined with Regulus joining Slytherin – how was Sirius going to cope?

Finally, after all the tryouts were done and the team was decided, Remus, Peter, and Lily made their way down towards the Quidditch pitch and met their friends.

James, like Lily, was glowing with pride, but for himself. He was running his hands through his hair, which, judging by its untidiness, did not really need any more messing up. His chest was slightly puffed out. Sirius, beside him, could not have looked any stormier. Remus was almost scared to approach him.

“I made it,” Mary yelled to Lily.

“I knew it!” said Lily, squealing with her. They ran to hug one another, giggling.

“You flew well, James,” said Mary kindly after she was finished celebrating. “You too, Sirius.”

“Thanks, you too,” said James, looking pleased with himself.

Sirius grunted in response.

“Er –” There was an awkward silence, where James looked at Sirius, apparently just realising his best friend was unhappy. “Where’s Marlene? Aren’t you two girls attached at the waist?”

Mary rolled her eyes, but smirked. “Marlene’s catching up on homework, because – get this – she’s gonna be too busy at the  _Gobstones_ Club meeting tonight.”

James laughed heartily. “Right. Of course, she is.”

Remus winced.  _Definitely not joining the Club now._

“Well, we’re off,” said Lily snappily. Clearly, she did not enjoy James’s company.

“See you at training,” said Mary, and they left.

“Well done, mate,” said Remus to James, just as Peter yelled, “You got in!”

Sirius had already taken off the Quidditch robes off. He was busying himself by trying to fold them.

James was breathless. “I know! Granted, what did I think would happen? But still – did you see, did you see, I did a Blackbroom Pivot!”

Peter jumped up at that. “Oh, yeah, I did see that –”

“– though, it was more like a half Blackbroom Pivot –”

“– right, that’s right –”

“Hey,” said Remus gently. He sidled up to Sirius, who had begun to saunter away from the pitch. He was pointedly not looking at Remus, only at the bundle of robes in his arms.

“Hi,” said Sirius.

“You all right?”

“Dandy,” he said shortly.

“ _Sirius_.”

“ _Remus_ ,” mocked Sirius. They were out of the pitch now, and nearing the castle. People had begun to awaken and go to breakfast.

Behind them, Remus heard the footsteps and chatter of James and Peter talking animatedly about Quidditch, so he kept his voice low. “You flew well.”

“Not well enough,” he snapped.

“Don’t be like that,” said Remus weakly. “It’s all right to lose sometimes, okay? No need to be mean about it. Did you even congratulate James?”

“No,” admitted Sirius.

“You should.”

“I don’t even care about Quidditch,” Sirius said suddenly, then looked embarrassed, as if the words had come out of their own accord.

“Oh,” said Remus intelligently.

They then decided not to go to the Great Hall, earning them a confused glance from James. Instead they kept walking down corridors as they chatted.

“Then why are you so upset?”

“I don’t know,” said Sirius, and Remus believed him. “I just – with Reggie not being with me – I just want – I dunno. I want some…”

“Comfort?” offered Remus. “Kindness? Stability?”

“Stability,” answered Sirius, staring straight ahead. He sounded angry, almost. “I want … I want everything to go exactly as I expect it to. I want to know what happens and what will happen. I want things to go right. I  _need_ them to be.”

Well. This was heavier than Remus had expected any conversation would go. But this was Sirius, and Remus cared about Sirius loads.

“Hey,” said Remus, putting a tentative hand on Sirius’s shoulder. “It’s all right. Things will get stable, but you also can’t know  _everything_ that happens, or will happen.”

“I want to,” insisted Sirius, like a petulant child.

“Right,” said Remus, giving Sirius’s shoulder a squeeze. “Then, try find out about the stuff, I guess?”

“Right,” said Sirius.

There was a comfortable silence.

“And, hey, why’d you try out for Quidditch, if you don’t want to, silly?” said Remus, grinning gently.

Sirius grinned back. “Dunno. I’m kinda thick, aren’t I?”

Remus agreed.

“You should do the things that you want to do,” said Sirius sagely. At first, this startled Remus because he thought Sirius was speaking directly to him; then after a moment, Remus realised Sirius meant this as a general statement.

Still, this struck a chord with Remus. It made him recall a noticeboard with two posters on it, one bright gold, and one about to droop off the board.

If Sirius, petulant, annoying, stupid, angry, irrational, but nevertheless a good person, had come to this conclusion about doing the things you would like to do – shouldn’t Remus?

“That’s quite insightful, Sirius,” said Remus politely.

Sirius barked with laughter, a proper laugh. “Who says  _insightful_?”

Remus bristled. “ _I_ do.”

“Swot.”

“Berk.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot point of James and Sirius trying out for the Gryffindor team, but only James getting in was inspired by one of my favourite pieces of work of all time, 'All the Young Dudes' by MsKingBean89, specifically [this chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057010/chapters/23623242).
> 
> Also, I'm very sorry about my slow updates. School truly is really annoying and hard. I'll try update as much as I can. :(


	25. Second Year: Gobstones Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think this is probably everybody that's going to come, so: Welcome! Gobstones Club is a long-standing club here at Hogwarts, even older than Chess Club and Quidditch. Now, I know that Gobstones might not be very  _cool_ —”

— CHAPTER FIVE —

**_Gobstones Club_ **

 

The rest of the day passed without much excitement. Sirius and James went off somewhere while Remus and Peter ate their breakfast. By the time the two came back, Remus was quite sure they had made up and were back to being best mates.

They had Defence Against the Dark Arts again today; Professor Jewel brought in more pixies that danced around the classroom, and their homework task was to draw a diagram of the anatomy of pixies. Afterwards they had Potions, which Remus loathed because of how difficult it was. Professor Slughorn was still the Potions Master. He was a large, bumbling old man, who very much liked Lily because she was so skilled at Potions. He often complimented Lily heartily in front of the entire class, much to James's annoyance.

Charms was taught by a short, elf-like wizard named Professor Flitwick, who often cast fun charms on objects to make them dance, sing, or on one memorable occasion, shout curse words. Transfiguration was less fun but just as interesting, with Professor McGonagall's stern words about transformation instilled in everybody's minds. History of Magic and its teacher, Professor Binns, were both terribly boring—not even Lily, star swot, could focus properly in that subject.

Remus was feeling quite all right about the level of difficulty of the classes. It didn't seem much too different from last year, thank Godric. Peter, however, was already stressed from the workload.

When the day's classes had finished, and dinner had begun, Remus nervously turned to the Marauders. His plate of Yorkshire pudding was untouched. His second-hand Gobstones set was heavy in his robe pocket. (He'd snuck up to the Common Room earlier that day, giving Ruby as much food as he could carry, then leaving quickly before anybody saw him and questioned his suspicious activities.)

“Er, I'm going to go study with Lily tonight,” Remus lied to his friends.

James almost spat out whatever he was chewing on. “Mate,  _what_? It's been, like, four days since term has started!”

Peter marvelled at Remus. “You really are a swot.”

Sirius was giving Remus a curious look, but when they'd made eye contact, Sirius smirked. “Going on a little date with Evans, hmm?”

“Careful,” added James, grinning. “You'll have to compete with Snivellus for her  _love_.”

The three boys hooted with laughter, and Remus could still hear them tittering as they left the Gryffindor table. He exhaled with relief as soon as they were out of sight. He looked back at the table and saw that typical Sirius had forgotten to throw away his rubbish, a bundle of tissues. Remus rolled his eyes.  _Of course._

Getting up from his seat, he began to walk almost apprehensively out from the Great Hall. As he left he remembered to chuck Sirius's rubbish away for him in a waste basket. Then Remus made his way out slowly, scared that his friends might spot him. His hand on a staircase's railing twitched as he tiptoed up the stairs. Some knights on a tapestry challenged Remus to a duel, pointing embroidered javelins as he passed.

_Gobstones Club first meeting Thursday after dinner. Be there or be a Globstone!_

He was beginning to have second thoughts. What if his friends found out? What if they found out, or worse, didn't want to associate themselves with him anymore? These invasive thoughts gnawed at him, from the inside out.

He finally stopped at the classroom detailed on the Gobstones Club poster. The door was shut. Remus's hand slowly curled around the doorknob.

“You should do the things you want to do,” Sirius had said this morning.

 _Reach out_ , something in his head whispered to him.

“All right, fine,” he told the voices and turned the doorknob.

He didn't know what he had been expecting to lie on the other side of the door, but it wasn't this. The classroom had been magically refashioned; the floor was now a soft, grass-looking carpet, with a couple of holes in the ground, as well as circles drawn in chalk. People kneeled around these holes, and around these circles, their faces focused and their hands at the ready to flick their gobstones.

There were about fifteen people inside, all from different houses and years. Marlene McKinnon kneeled opposite a Hufflepuff third-year girl and they were determinedly trying to hit each other's gobstones outside a chalk-drawn circle. To Remus's utter surprise, Regulus Black was also here, sitting beside another Slytherin first year that Remus did not recognise.

Not many people looked up when Remus awkwardly shuffled inside, and only one person stood. Remus recognised him immediately as the smiley Gryffindor prefect Frank Longbottom.

“Hiya!” Frank made his way and gave Remus a firm handshake. His hands were very warm. “Remus, right?”

“Yes. Frank, yeah?”

“Uh huh! Here to join Gobstones Club?” Frank grinned. “Didn't bring any of your friends, did you? I remember  _all_ the trouble they caused last year.”

Remus shook his head. “Nah, only me.”

Remus was privately mollified that Frank knew that Remus was friends with the Marauders—this meant people were aware of it. Remus wasn't sure why this mattered to him, but it did.

“Cool,” said Frank, and he looked like he meant it. “Well, come sit with me, I'm just watching Davey and Isaac play a Slytherin's pit game.”

Davey Gudgeon and Isaac Chelton were both in Remus's year, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw respectively. They were crouching opposite one another, in between them a strange circular hole in the floor. Davey flicked one of his gobstones as lightly as he could—but it was still too hard. He swore as his gobstone rolled into the hole and dropped down.

“Ha, sucker!”

Isaac laughed as the gobstones jumped into the air and squirted a foul-smelling liquid into Davey's eye, causing him to yell out.

Frank grinned as Davey wildly tried to wipe his eye. “Ah, the final globstone at the end of a game! It never gets old.”

“Right,” said Remus, because he had no idea what was happening.

“Keepsies,” taunted Isaac, and a disgruntled Davey shoved a few gobstones into Isaac's outstretched hand.

“Right, it's almost six-thirty,” said Frank, checking a clock on the wall. “I should officially start. Attention everyone!”

Everybody playing their games stopped.

“I think this is probably everybody that's going to come, so: Welcome! Gobstones Club is a long-standing club here at Hogwarts, even older than Chess Club and Quidditch teams. Now, I know that Gobstones might not be very  _cool_ —”

Remus heard low mutters and grumbles.

“—but Gobstones Club is where we don't care about that, all right?” Frank grinned once more, showing off pearly white teeth. “We're here to have fun, think critically about our games, training everyone, and discuss upcoming competitions. Normally we have lunchtime meetings, but  _someone_ has detention every lunch this week –”

“Not my fault Jewel's a git—” called out a Ravenclaw sixth-year. (Secretly, Remus was offended. Professor Jewel was  _not_ a git.)

“—so, our next meeting will be next week Thursday lunch, all right?” Frank continued. “If anyone has any problems with this, come and speak to me sometime soon. Now, everybody can go back to playing their games – and no cheating, Weston, I see you!”

Remus exchanged eye contact with Marlene for a split second, and they waved shyly to each other before looking away.

(Remus didn't think Marlene would  _tell_ anyone that he'd joined Gobstones Club; firstly, she was quiet and kept to herself and secondly, she wasn't friends with Remus's friends, so he was probably safe. Also, she seemed to be a little embarrassed herself about being in the club.) (Remus was also afraid that Regulus might tell Sirius that he was in the Gobstones Club – but then Remus was quite sure the brothers were not on speaking terms. This relieved Remus, until Remus realised that this was a terrible thing to be relieved by. Then he felt quite bad about the whole affair.)

Remus spent the rest of the night next to Frank, watching people play their own matches of Gobstones and engaging in light conversation whenever Frank initiated it. Remus didn't really get the game yet, but the atmosphere in the room was warm and Remus felt relaxed. In fact, when the time came for everybody return to bed, Remus found that he quite regretted it.

*

“We need to do a prank,” said James suddenly during History of Magic. Professor Binns was far too engrossed in his own recounting of goblin warfare to notice. Lily shot them a rude look but said nothing.

“It's been a week,” said Remus to James, though he was amused. “You'd think you could go a week without doing a prank.”

“Lupin, it hasn't been a week,” insisted James, reaching over to grab onto Remus's shoulder. “Did you forget about the holidays? It's been a good three months! I've been deprived, I've been empty inside without the idea of pranking people—”

Remus laughed, shoving him off. “Okay, okay, I get it!”

“Don't you have Quidditch practice or something?” snapped Sirius, but at Remus's quelling look, Sirius's expression softened. “I mean; we wouldn't want you to miss training, that's all.”

“We can make it work,” said James good-naturedly. “We just need to do a prank.”

“I agree!” Peter piped up.

“'Course you do,” said Sirius, rolling his eyes, as if he were not commonly guilty of sucking up to James as well.

“I guess we can do  _something_ ,” said Remus, smiling.

James returned the grin. “You're the best, Lupin!”

“But I haven't really been a part of many,” admitted Remus.

“We did that shampoo one on Snivellus!” said James, grabbing Remus again. “That was all you, and it was brilliant.”

Remus was quite pleased by this.

“What should we do this time, James?” asked Peter eagerly.

“Whatever we do,” said Sirius darkly, “it should be on the Slytherins.”

“What about the Gobstones Club?” snickered James, and Remus felt himself deflating.

“Ooh, I know!” said Peter, “We should make sure the Slytherins get no food at dinnertime.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Right, because the worst thing you could do to a person is stop them from eating Yorkshire pudding. Nice priorities, Pettigrew.”

“No, that's actually a pretty good idea,” said Remus, smiling at Peter.

“It's not  _funny_ , though,” whined James, tapping his quill against his desk.

“Oh, how about instead of them not getting food,” said Remus, “their food turns into something, like canaries. That'd be a riot.”

“Hey, that's not half bad!” said James approvingly. “We could totally do it—”

“—'cause of that transfiguration-into-a-bird spell we learnt the other day,” finished Sirius, eyes finally alight with glee. “Right, that's a good idea, Remus!”

“And Peter,” added Remus.

Thus, that night they visited the kitchens. They made their way down a staircase, James leading the way, walking down a wide corridor. It was well lit, and the colourful paintings on the walls depicted different foods, bowls of fruit, slabs of meat, and flagons of drink.

“Hmm … ah, this one!” James stopped in front of a portrait of a colourful bowl of fruit and reached out to tickle a pear. The pear let out a childish giggle and morphed into a three-dimensional green door handle.

“How do you know about this?” asked Remus, amazed.

“My dad.” James was grinning as he turned the handle.

Much like the Fat Lady's portrait in front of the Gryffindor Common Room, the painting served as a door. It led into a high-ceilinged room which, after Remus's eyes adjusted to the flickering orange light of a brick fireplace, he realised was modelled after the Great Hall. Four long tables, one for each of the Hogwarts houses, and a shorter one perpendicular to the others, the staff table, stood in the enormous room. The stone walls were lined with pots and pans, on thick counter-tops and stoves. Remus could smell the delicious meat wafting from frying pans. Clearly, this was for dinnertime.

Remus's eyes also had to adjust to an even more interesting sight. Multiple short creatures tottered around the kitchen, their spindly arms carrying large plates of cooked eggs or chopped up fruit. Their heads were enormous, and they had huge eyes that made them look as if they were perpetually shocked. They were all dressed in a tea-towel with the Hogwarts crest emblazed upon it.

“Mr Potter! It is good to see you, sir,” called out one of them in a high, squeaky voice, not unlike Peter's.

“You've been here before?” asked Remus, shocked.

“'Course. What do you think we do when Peter gets hungry late at night? Hello Floggy,” James said good-naturedly, leaning down to speak to the creature in question.

“What … what are they?” whispered Remus to Sirius.

“They're house-elves,” whispered Sirius back. “I've got one at home—he's a nightmare, really—but these ones are really nice.”

Oh! He'd never seen one of these odd creatures in his life, but he'd heard of house-elves before. His father had never gotten a house-elf for the Lupin family, probably because it would weird his mother out.

“Would Mr Potter and his friends like a snack before dinner?” house-elf Floggy asked eagerly. Other house-elves had begun congregating near Floggy and looked just as enthusiastic to serve James.

James smiled. “No, not today, Floggy.” The house-elves deflated, as if very upset that James did not want them to make him food. “We're just here because my friend wants to ask you some questions. This is Remus Lupin. Remus, say hello.”

“Hello,” said Remus carefully. This had been part of the plan, as Remus was surely the most diplomatic out of the four, but he was suddenly feeling quite uncomfortable.

There was a chorus of high-pitched “hello's.”

“Er—I just want to know a few things. When you put dishes on these tables, they transport to the Great Hall, right?”

“Oh, yes, Mr Lupin is right,” said Floggy, nodding his huge head happily.

“Can I ask, do they go there immediately?” wondered Remus. “Like, if I were to place a dish there right now, would it magically go to the Great Hall?”

“Oh, no, no.” Floggy shook his head. “Us house-elves is putting the dishes on the table and waiting until six o'clock for the dishes to go to the Great Hall.”

“Right,” said Remus, a little crestfallen. If the magical tables were instant, then it would make it a lot easier to send the birds to the Slytherin table. This made their plans a little bit more difficult. “And you're very meticulous about it?”

Sirius snorted at Remus's word choice, but Floggy nodded vigorously, eyes wide open. “Oh, yes, Mr Lupin, we is the  _most_ meticulous! We is very focused house-elves, and we only is distracted by terrible things, like our masters in danger, or finding rats in the kitchens!”

Remus nodded. “That's very commendable, Floggy.”

He beamed with pride. “The best house-elves is focused and efficient!”

“Er—you said the plates magically go to the Great Hall, right? How do you collect the plates after dinner's over?”

“The magical plates, they is disappearing from wherever they are as soon as the clock is striking seven,” said Floggy, nodding approvingly. “They come back to the kitchen for us to wash them. However, when we is throwing away the rubbish,” Floggy added darkly, and the other house-elves tittered anxiously, “the bins, oh, Floggy thinks they is faulty but nobody,  _nobody_ , is fixing it.”

An older-looking female house-elf hit Floggy’s arm reproachfully. “Floggy! You is speaking ill of our masters!”

“Oh — oh, no, you is right, Missy — _Floggy shouldn't_ —”

Floggy began to wail and curl up into a ball, the other house-elves gathering around him to give him comforting pats on his skinny back.

And that was the end of the conversation.

“All right,” said Remus hastily, feeling very disturbed. “Thank you so much, Floggy.”

“It is our pleasure, Mr Lupin!” Floggy said, choking back his tears.

They left very soon after that, Remus half wanting to make sure Floggy was all right, but also half wanting to leave that very strange situation as soon as possible. As soon as they were out of the kitchens and in that corridor, Sirius spoke.

“This makes our prank harder,” he whined.

Remus sighed. It was true.

“We'll think of something,” James said deviously, and Remus believed him.

*

The first full moon of the month fell on the second week of class. Ruby really wanted to come with him—” _Pwease_ ,” she'd said—but Remus refused her. The thought of bringing the harmless, young rabbit into that shack he transformed in—it was quite awful.

Madam Pomfrey kindly escorted him down to the Whomping Willow that evening and left him inside that shack he would transform into. Remus sat there for minutes on a sturdy chair, staring at the wooden floorboards nailed to the walls, which looks so weak, but managed to keep a werewolf in every full moon.

“ _The creatures we will be dealing with are not inherently dark_ ,” Professor Jewel had said. Was he right?

The full moon had arrived. Remus could feel it in his bones, in his skin—he'd felt it all day, of course, but especially now. He itched badly and his bones cracked and suddenly there was a fire running down in his back and then everything went dark.

The first thing Remus realised after waking up was that he had torn that sturdy chair apart. It wasn't even recognisable as bits of a chair anymore, just shredded up pieces of wood flying in explosions of chips on the floor. Remus gulped, staring at it. Imagine what Remus would have done if he hadn't been given the protection of the shack. He shuddered horribly thinking about it.

Professor Jewel, Remus thought bitterly, would retract his words after looking at this mess. Maybe hags and trolls weren't dark creatures, but werewolves  _definitely_ were.

Later that day after Madam Pomfrey had seen fit to Remus's injuries and made sure he was all right to go back to his dorm, Remus bumped into Frank on the way to dinner.

“Oh, hiya Remus,” said Frank cheerfully. “How'd you enjoy the first Gobstones Club meeting?”

“Er, it was pretty fun,” said Remus, trying to match Frank's grin. Man, how did he smile so widely like that all the time?

Frank gave Remus a light punch on the shoulder, grinning. “Don't lie to me, you didn't even play yesterday!”

Remus scratched the back of his neck. “ _Well_ … I actually don't really know how to play Gobstones.”

“Oh,” said Frank. “Well, there's no point in joining Gobstones Club if you don't know how to play.”

“Right,” said Remus, his heart sinking.

“I'll have to teach you!” said Frank, his face splitting into a grin. “Right now.”

“Oh! Er—oh, okay!”

Frank led him to an empty classroom and excitedly sat Remus down. “I always keep my set in my pocket. I know, I know, pretty nerdy, but it's super convenient for any unexpected matches.”

He took out his Gobstone set and opened it up carefully. Inside were thirty gobstones of different sizes, but they were all circular and sparkled in the light.

“This,” said Frank, lifting up a large stone, which had swirling royal blue and indigo colours all over its surface, “is a type of gobstone, a Kingstone. Kingstones are the largest, and most important. You use it to knock out these Serfstones, another type of gobstone,” he continued, pulling out a smaller, shinier gobstone, “out from the playing circle.”

“Right…” said Remus, trying to grasp this. “One Kingstone, and a couple of Serfstones. What's the playing circle?”

Frank took out his wand and waved it in a circular motion. As if drawn by chalk, a circle appeared on the floor out of nowhere. “This is the playing circle.” He chucked about half the Serfstones onto the circle until they were dispersed evenly inside it. “Here, have a go.”

Frank placed the royal blue Kingstone into Remus's palm. He took it gingerly, not wanting to break it or damage it in anyway.

He folded his fingers into his palm, rolled his pointer finger around the Kingstone, holding it against his thumb knuckle. Then he flicked.

The Kingstone leapt forward and, as if by magic, collided with one of the Serfstones. It let out a little squeal as it rolled away, but not far enough to go out of the circle.

“Great!” Frank beamed at Remus. “You're a natural.”

Remus privately knew Frank was just being really nice.

“In a proper game of Gobstones—we call it a Ravenclaw's Round, because Gobstones is truly the thinking wizard's game—you'd be in big trouble here, 'cause you didn't knock out a Serfstone,” admitted Frank. “This means your opponent can try knock out your  _Kingstone_ —and then it's all over for you. You'll be the victim of a Globstone.”

“What's a—what's a Globstone?” asked Remus, a little overwhelmed.

Frank laughed. He had a very nice smile. “ _Globstone_  is basically a term for when a round of Gobstones ends. No matter what variation of Gobstones—whether Ravenclaw's Round, Godric's Stone, Slytherin's Pit—whenever a player loses a round, the winning Gobstone will turn on the loser and squirt out foul-smelling globs into their face. Hence, a  _Globstone_.”

Remus recalled what had happened when Isaac had beaten Davey earlier that morning.

“Oh, I see,” said Remus.

After that, Frank began teaching Remus about the different variations of Gobstones. There were hundreds and hundreds of them but the main ones were Ravenclaw's Round, wherein you have to knock out more Gobstones out of the playing circle than your opponent; Godric's Stone wherein whoever has the closest Kingstone to the ' _Godric's Stone_ ' win; Slytherin's Pit, where players must try and hit their Gobstone as close to a hole in the ground without it falling through; and Hufflepuff's Heart, where a target would be drawn into the ground, more points allocated the closer your Serfstones got to the heart of the playing circle.

Frank then challenged Remus to a short Ravenclaw's Round. Remus took out his shoddy second-hand set and played his first ever  _proper_ game of Gobstones, if one didn't count the one he'd played against Dumbledore.

The game was relaxing, but fun. One of Remus's Serfstones started acting up and shooting putrid liquid everywhere, but Frank cleaned it all.

Remus could see why people who could hardly sit still like James would find it boring, but Remus personally enjoyed the experience. Even after he'd lost and gotten an eyeful of gunk.

“At least we don't play Gobstones like they do in America,” chucked Frank as he magically cleaned Remus's face. “I heard that their Globstones are so bad you have to burn off the boils that grow 'cause of it.”

“Thanks for teaching me about the game,” he told Frank shyly, who dismissed his gratitude with a friendly wave of his hand.

After that, Remus returned to his dorm, feeling quite pleased with his newfound knowledge. The rest of the Marauders were awake, and perked up at the sight of Remus.

“All right, Remus?” asked James.

“Where were you the whole day?” asked Sirius, incredulous, once Remus had walked into the door.

Ruby leapt into Remus's arms, as she often did whenever he returned to the dorm room, and began mewling about how  _bored_ she'd been the  _entire_ day. “Thewe's nothing to  _do_ ,” she whined.

Remus didn't want to tell Sirius either of the things he'd done today, that he'd been recovering from a werewolf transformation, or that he'd been learning how to play Gobstones. “Visiting my sick mother,” he said quietly, carefully avoiding making eye contact with Sirius.

James quickly leapt up to give Remus a sympathetic hum and a pat on the shoulder. “S'all right, mate. Hope things get better.”

Peter muttered agreement.

“Thanks, guys,” said Remus, smiling and he got ready for bed.

But when he'd finished preparing his bed and changed into his pyjamas, he glanced warily at Sirius, whose face was only illuminated by the flickering light of the lamp. It was pretty dark in the room, but Remus could tell that Sirius was utterly, irrevocably unconvinced. 


	26. Second Year: Diversions and Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus finally stopped running, clutching his heaving chest like a lifeline. "Holy Helga. That was—"
> 
> "—wicked," finished Sirius, grinning. He still didn't look tired.
> 
> Remus almost smacked him. Almost.

— CHAPTER SIX —

**_Diversions and Dinner_ **

 

Over the next few days, they — well, if Remus told the truth, he and James — formed a plan, while Sirius pretended too hard to be uninterested and Peter pretended too hard to be interested. In fact, Remus thanked Godric for this distance due to that incensed, disbelieving look Sirius had shot him the other night. Every second Remus had to spend alone with Sirius was a second Remus felt his skin crawl and his mind race with thoughts of being discovered—for being a werewolf or, worse, Gobstones club.

The latest meeting they had happened in their Herbology lesson, four boys concealed by writhing rosebushes, talking in hushed voices. Herbology lessons were often full of loud chatter anyway, so their discussions of the prank went unnoticed.

“Well, I did find a spell,” Remus was saying to the other boys while wrangling with a vibrating rosebush. “It delays the effects of any spell cast afterwards.”

“Awesome.” James clapped his hands together.

Peter tilted his head, much like a little rodent would. “How's that going to help us?”

“Weren't you listening? We have to make sure the food doesn't turn into birds before they transport to the Great Hall, or they'll fly away, and then  _we'll_ be the idiots,” said Sirius, but his voice was cheerful, and he started tickling Peter in jest. James joined in, and the three boys hooted were hooting with laughter.

“Boys!” boomed Professor Sprout's voice from the other end of the greenhouse. “Back to the rosebushes,  _now_.”

“Yes, Professor,” they chorused back.

“We still need to find a way to  _distract_ the elves so that we can actually cast the spell, though,” mused James.

As he said this, in strolled Professor Jewel. The sight of the Defence teacher excited Remus, for Professor Jewel's lessons were getting better each and every day. He'd brought in new creatures, and taught them all the ways to fight them, but also to treat them correctly. His amber moustache wrinkled as he stepped in and smelt the greenhouse.

“Good morning, Professor,” said the class cheerfully as Professor Jewel waltzed in, who shared Remus's feelings about Professor Jewel.

“Wriggling Rosebushes!” he said, tugging absent-mindedly on a stray vine. “How fun. What I'd give to have had a Herbology professor  _half_ as fun as you when I went to Hogwarts, Pomona.”

Professor Sprout, who had been in a bad mood the start of the lesson, looked pleased. “What brings you here, Jiminy?”

“Just stopping by on the way to errands.” Professor Jewel's eyes wrinkled when he smiled.

“Good — morning — Professor,” Remus managed to get out while tugging on a rosebush that tended to tug back.

“What errands are you running, sir?” asked James, his head poking out from behind another bush.

“I'm finding a new creature for class,” the professor said, rubbing his hands together excitedly. “Be ready for next Monday, kids!” The class cheered.

Peter, again, was so excited that he yanked a rose too hard, only for it to yank him too hard back. Peals of laughter erupted around the greenhouse as all the second years watched Peter struggle up and down with the violent rosebush.

“Mr Pettigrew!” Professor Jewel looked frazzled, patting down his robes. “My wand, where's my wand…”

“Allow me,” said Professor Sprout briskly. With a wave of a wand, the rosebush fell limp and Peter was gasping on the dirt floor.

After chuckling at the turn of events, Professor Jewel made his exit, promising an exciting Monday morning lesson for the second years.

As soon as he had left, an owl swooped in the greenhouse. This caught the attentions of the second-years, who watched in surprise as the owl delivered a small letter to Professor Sprout.

“Back to your rosebushes!” she barked. After a moment's pause to read the letter, and after everyone pretended to go back to deflowering, she said, “I have to go somewhere for a while, but when I come back, I expect all these bushes to be  _rose-free_ , understand?”

Murmurs of assent rumbled throughout the class. As soon as Professor Sprout left, the class began to chat cheerfully and without abandon, rosebushes left untouched.

“Hey, you can try out that spell now, Remus, right?” said James excitedly.

Remus tried to suppress his immediate embarrassment at being put on the spot. “Er, yeah, all right.  _Tardify_!” he said, pointing his wand at one of the rosebushes on the ground, then, “ _Wingardium Leviosa_.”

The rosebush remained firmly on the floor. The four Marauders stared at it.

Sirius turned to Remus. “Well? Nothing's happening.”

“It's the point of the spell,” said Remus. “You have to wait.”

“Boring,” yawned Sirius, stretching out his long, pale arms, then saying, “Oi!” when a stray rose vine crept up along his arm.

“Ooh, Remus, it's working!” Peter said excitedly. Sure enough, the rosebush was finally starting to hover in the air, lifting up slowly—until it revealed what was underneath.

“What the—”

There was an unmistakeable flash of white darting out from beneath it to another bush, but Remus hissed —

“ _Shh_!” said Remus hurriedly, reaching down to grab the misbehaving rabbit in his arms. He tucked a disgruntled Ruby into his robes. Now Ruby was obscured, but there was a large, obvious lump at Remus's arm.  _Sigh_. He was going to give her  _such_ a talking-to.

None of the Gryffindor girls had seen, Remus thought. Not Marlene, not Mary, not Dorcas, not even Lily.

“What's Ruby doing here?” asked Sirius, thankfully much quieter than Peter.

“Yeah, what  _are_ you doing here?” he snapped at Ruby.

Her muffled words were almost impossible to hear. “I'm  _bowed_.”

“She's bored,” Remus sighed.

“Too white I am,” peeped Ruby. It took Remus a moment to register that Ruby had meant:  _Too right I am_. Her baby talk again.

Sirius laughed, which sort of irritated Remus. “I'd be bored too. Cooped up in that room all day, nothing to do.”

“Yeah, well, it's her fault for being here,” said Remus, but he felt guilty. “Good Godric, I'll have to find a way to return her to Gryffindor Tower before Sprout gets back here.”

“Dunno why you're so annoyed,” James said. “I mean, Ruby's  _nothing_ on a dragon. They probably wouldn't even get you in that much trouble for having a rabbit.”

“I guess,” said Remus. He wondered why he was so adamant about Ruby staying inside the dorm all the time.

“Hey, you could use that  _Tardify_ charm to make James's shampoo to turn into hair dye while he's in the shower!” said Sirius suddenly. Remus appreciated this switch in topic where they all thought of possible comical uses for the Delaying Charm.

James shook suddenly when Sirius suggested delaying a Snake-Transfiguration charm on Ruby when she curled up in bed with Remus, so Remus got a nasty surprise when he woke up. “I finally have an idea,” gasped James, but this was interrupted by Peter.

“Guys, do you hear that?” he squeaked. Confused, Remus listened out and, sure enough, he  _felt_ rather than  _heard_ the rumble in the distance.

“What  _is_ that?” he wondered.

Others in the greenhouse were also looking around, confused. Another rumble. Two Hufflepuff girls stopped chatting to stare at the leftmost wall, where the source of the noise came from beyond. The glass wall was obscured by the writhing rosebushes covering it. Another rumble, louder this time. Lily, the only one doing her work, placed down her shears to listen out. Ruby squirmed in Remus's robes. The rose bushes seemed to still.

He was just about to turn around to Sirius, ask him what he thought was going on, when the wall came crashing down. There were shrieks and chaos and stampeding feet, but Remus's only attention was the glass raining down on the dirt floor.

“RUN!” bellowed someone in the distance.

The glass shards glittered in the sunlight, which through the newly-created hole in the had thought the rosebushes were violent, but they were nothing compared to the chaos caused by  _the massive tree slamming its roots down onto the earth._

Remus gawked. What in  _Godric's_ name was happening? Was this — was this a Wandering Willow? In Hogwarts?

The earth shook once more as the Willow's roots slammed down onto the dirt floor, and Remus almost fell from the tremor that resulted. Glass went flying into the air, and more people were speeding past Remus towards the door.

“Come on!” demanded Sirius, tugging on Remus's sleeve.

They darted from the classroom, but not before Remus felt the violent vibrations of the Wandering Willow continuing its pace behind them, smashing through more of the greenhouse's glass walls — or was it the ceiling that it was breaking through? Remus glanced back and, yep, the Wandering Willow was lumbering towards the flood of second years piling out of the classroom.

Eventually, they all managed to outrun the tree, which, though it had taken them all by surprise, was slower than they were. After it became clear they were safe, the second-year Gryffindor and Hufflepuffs all stilled, gasping for breath on a footpath that winded up near the path of the castle.

“Is everyone okay?” panted Professor Jewel, who was staggering up behind them. “I shouted 'Run!' but I think it was too late. I'm so sorry, everyone.”

“I think we're all okay, sir,” said James.

“Yep, all okay,” said Sirius, who looked unfairly unfazed from the run.

“Good, good,” he said. “If only I hadn't misplaced my wand.”

“It happens to everyone, sir,” one of the Gryffindor girls said shyly, and some of them tittered; this confused Remus.

“What  _is_  that, though?” said Peter, pointing at the Wandering Willow. After it had finished decimating one of the greenhouses, the tree was now making its way along the Hogwarts grounds, near where the Whomping Willow stood. Perhaps it was going to say hello.

“It's a Wandering Willow,” Lily answered promptly. “It's a tree that moves only when awoken from their deep slumbers, and only to find somewhere else where they can sleep properly.”

“I didn't know that,” said Remus mildly.

Sirius, despite everything, gave a short bark of laughter and reached for Remus's head to rub it hard. “Lupin not knowing something? Impossible.”

Remus giggled, and was about to engage in retaliation when a squeal caught him by surprise. “Sir, it's going towards the groundskeeper's house!” shrieked Lily. “We have to stop it.”

The Wandering Willow was stomping past the Whomping Willow and towards the groundskeeper Hagrid's humble shack near the Forbidden Forest. Remus gulped. It certainly was going to run right through it unless it was stopped.

“Miss Evans, you can't —” started Professor Jewel, but Lily was already darting down, fumbling for the wand in her robes.

James jerked into movement as soon as Lily left, running after her and calling for her to stop. Remus gave a long-suffering sigh — why were his friends so impulsive? — and burst into a dart, chasing after them. “ _Remus_!” he heard Sirius call, hearing the sound of footsteps against grass behind him.

“Lily!” Remus yelled out. “ _Stop_!”

Remus saw James catch up to Lily and grab onto her arm, but she jerked it away. She wasn't even looking at James; she was only paying attention to the Wandering Willow making its way down towards Hagrid's house.

“ _Immobulus_!” shouted Lily, and a jet of light burst from her wand that hit the tree's thick trunk. As the Wandering Willow's roots rose once more to take another step, Remus thought he saw it falter just a bit, but it regained its speed and made its determined way down the Hogwarts grounds. Lily's face fell.

Remus finally caught up to James and Lily. Sirius finally caught up to Remus, grabbing his shoulder. It was a difficult situation. They were all trying to keep pace with the tree, which had huge, long strides, while James was trying to keep Lily away from the dangerously powerful tree roots stomping away.

“ _Immobulus_ ,” Lily said once more, and once again the tree stilled for just the slightest second before it kept walking.

“Guys,” panted Remus. His feet stung from all this  _running_. He had never run so much. “Guys, we need to cast that spell. We need to copy Lily.  _Lily, what's the spell_?”

The tree was approaching the groundskeeper's shack. As they almost tripped over themselves trying to follow the moving tree, Lily cast the spell once more, and he, Sirius, and James all took out their wands and panted out the incantation. “ _Immobulus_! _Immobulus_!  _Immobulus_!”

Blue light kept hitting the tree, exploding in sparks as it hit the hard trunk. The tree was not slowing down.

Lily had begun to run ahead of the tree, which made James's eyes widen and his feet go  _even faster_ than before, chasing after her. What was Lily doing? Remus wanted to scream.

“Hagrid,  _Hagrid_!” Lily was shrieking, waving her hands, which made her attempt to slow down the tree at the same time all the more difficult. “ _Immobulus_! Hagrid, get out, get out, there's a Wandering Willow!  _IMMOBULUS_!”

From the distance Remus was at (which was not very far, at the rate the tree was going), he saw Hagrid lumber out of his house, shoving a huge beast of a dog out of the way to reach for an even huger, pink umbrella. He began to bellow the incantation along with them, which helped their cause a lot. Who knew the groundskeeper was so good at magic?

“Hit the roots,” gasped Remus, and all five wands were pointed directly at those thick wooden roots that lifted into the air, then slammed back down to move.

Had Remus ever cast a spell  _this many times_ in succession? His arm was getting tired. Lily and James were panicking, trying to get as far from the tree as possible.

Finally,  _finally_ , it seemed to be working. The Wandering Willow was slowing down, thank Godric. The spells seemed to be working. Its roots were getting slower, were raising at a slower rate.

Peter came tumbling in finally, gasping for breath, casting, “ _Immobulus_ ,” along with them. With the combined efforts of five wands and one umbrella at work, the Wandering Willow finally came to a stop. It was scarcely five metres away from the shack and Lily and James's cowering figures. Hagrid took a look at the still tree and said a word that would make Remus's mother screech.

Remus finally stopped running, clutching his heaving chest like a lifeline. “Holy Helga. That was—”

“—wicked,” finished Sirius, grinning. He still didn't look tired.

Remus almost smacked him. Almost.

*

“I was so worried about you,” scolded Remus to the rabbit that night. “But,” he sighed, relieved, “I'm glad you're safe.”

Remus hadn't even noticed Ruby had went missing that entire time that the Wandering Willow had ravaged all over the greenhouse. Guilt as heavy as stones settled in his stomach and refused to go away. He should've been more careful. So should Ruby, but really, what did he expect from her anymore?

It was fine, though. She had told him that as soon as the Wandering Willow had slammed its roots into the greenhouse and rained glass down on all of them, she had quickly darted out from Remus's robes and went back to the safety of the Gryffindor Common Room. Apparently, she and the Fat Lady had gained some sort of non-verbal rapport. It was apparently the most exciting time Ruby had had since she had come to Hogwarts.

“And it'll  _stay_ the most exciting event you'll have at Hogwarts,” reprimanded Remus, giving Ruby a rub on her belly, more out of his own relief than anything.

“Do you know what isn't exciting?” said James loudly from his bed. “Getting detention for saving someone's life. And his house! And throw in saving Evans's life too, 'cause without us, she'd be remains on the bottom of a Wandering Willow. Stupid Professor Sprout,” muttered James, “panting and hobbling over from whatever she was doing, coming over like she knew what was happening. Giving us detention.”

Peter giggled.

“Hear, hear,” agreed Sirius, who sat lazily on his own bed.

“You  _did_ ignore Professor Jewel's orders,” reasoned Remus.

James sighed. “Always so correct, Lupin. Well, you know what I have to say?” He leapt up on his bed, startling Peter so much that Peter fell off from his bed. “Stuff that detention! I'm gonna get all the detentions in the  _world_  to let teachers know that they don't matter at all.”

“Hear, hear,” said Sirius once more after he'd finished laughing at Peter. “We need to do that prank, remember?”

“But  _how_?” asked Peter. “We need to find a way to make the house-elves leave the kitchens. And you know they would never do that.”

Remus hummed in agreement. “I can't think of anything either.”

Sirius suddenly looked alive. “I got it. I got it. James, I got it.”

“What is it?” asked James eagerly.

“The answer to our problems,” said Sirius, grinning, “is right there.”

At first Remus thought Sirius was pointing at  _Remus_. But then, Remus slowly realised that the answer to their problems wasn't Remus, but rather what — no,  _who_ — lay in Remus's arms.

*

“Secret for secret?”

“What?” said Remus, almost jerking from his position in the alcove. Thankfully, he did not fall out, otherwise surely their operation would be ruined. The light emitted from their two wands was enough to illuminate their hiding place. Remus turned to look up at Sirius, who was faux-nonchalantly examining the dirt underneath his nails. Remus himself was kneeling down, but Sirius, always the rebel, was standing even though James had expressly told them sitting would make the best hiding position.

“Secret for secret,” repeated Sirius, blinking. “It's our thing. Did you forget?”

“No, I know it's our thing,” said Remus, shifting his position ever so slightly. Ruby in his arms squirmed a bit. She was uncharacteristically silent. “I just —” He gave a small breath of laughter. “You said it really out of the blue.”

“All right,” said Sirius, unconcerned. A pause, then, “OK. Secret for secret.”

There was only one reason Sirius could be asking, right? Remus felt his heart begin to beat faster. Godric, why did Sirius have to be so nosy?

“We're meant to be quietly waiting,” scolded Remus.

“We have, like, five minutes,” said Sirius, checking his watch. “C'mon.”

“All right,” said Remus, pushing the hair out of his eyes nervously. His brain was going into overdrive; he had to think fast. He should've been expecting this, expecting it ever since Sirius glared at him suspiciously that other night. “I slept in bed with my parents til I was five, stopped, then slept in bed with them til I was eleven.”

“Oh,” said Sirius. Clearly that had not been what he was expecting. “Actually, I was kinda thinking that I could  _ask_ you for a secret—”

“Hey,” interrupted Remus, smiling on the outside even though panic was climbing inside his chest. “Secret  _for secret_ , remember?”

Sirius huffed, leaning on the inside of the alcove but careful not to touch the tapestry, lest it open and they be exposed to the corridor; that would ruin the whole prank. Sirius kneeled down so he was eye-level with Remus.

“Wait, shh,” said Remus. “I think I hear someone coming.”

They all waited in tense silence as they heard footsteps and voices. Even Ruby stiffened up in Remus's arms. Eventually, they faded away.

“OK, your turn,” said Remus.

“Fine. I made Regulus promise to  _not_ be in Slytherin this summer holidays,” he said bitterly. “I made him swear to Merlin that he'd get into buggering Hufflepuff before that slimy snake pit of a house.”

Remus knew his own eyes looked pained. “Sirius — oh, sorry Ruby,” he said, for he had accidentally been holding onto her too tightly. Ruby, a rabbit who was usually one to complain, said nothing once more.

“It's fine,” he said, adopting that false casualness once more. He broke eye contact. “Just a secret. Don't tell James.”

“Of course not,” gulped Remus.

“We should do it again,” said Sirius quickly, and Remus's panic rose again. “So—”

“Me first,” said Remus, just as quickly. “I hated you when at the start of last year. Your turn.” He smiled.

Sirius's eyes narrowed. He knew what Remus was doing, which was fine, because Remus knew what Sirius was doing. They had reached a standstill. “Does that count?” snapped Sirius. “I kinda already knew that.”

“It does,” confirmed Remus.

“Fine. I hated you too,” said Sirius huffily.

“Glad we moved past that,” said Remus, his smile genuine now.

Sirius snorted, looking away. “Yeah, I guess.”

Clearly this moment was getting too sappy for Sirius. “Hey, what time is it?” asked Remus.

“Oh, bugger, it's six thirty. Let's go,” said Sirius, and he pulled out James's Invisibility Cloak from his pocket. Remus made sure the Cloak was wrapped completely around he, Sirius and Ruby before they lifted the tapestry hiding them as little as they possible could, then slid out quietly.

Their feet landed on the cobblestone of the corridor floor. Ruby was hugged to Remus's chest. Together they walked silently and invisibly down the corridor, towards where James and Peter were sitting, pretending to study. When they passed them, Sirius gave James a pat on the head, their signal to let them know they were ready. James smiled a bit.

James and Peter had pretty boring roles, if Remus was honest. All they did was sit outside the corridor leading to the kitchens, while pretending to study. They would deter anyone that came near, claiming that they should make a detour due to exploding ovens or crying house-elves. All this would happen while Remus and Sirius performed the actual prank.

James had heart-wrenchingly sacrificed the fun bit to Remus, whom he said planned everything, so it was only right for Remus to do it. Sirius also got the exciting half of the task, because James said he 'would protest if he weren't partnered with Remus.' (In fact, Remus was inclined to disagree, to say that Sirius felt that way about  _James_ , but the discussion time they had was short, so Remus said nothing.) And well, Sirius  _had_ come up with the idea of using Ruby after all.

“Are you sure about this?” whispered Remus to Ruby in his arms. Sirius looked at them curiously.

“Yep!” said Ruby, but her voice was wavering.

“You don't have to do it if you don't want to, you know,” murmured Remus, smiling. “The worst that would happen is that James would be bored.”

“I want to,” she said determinedly, steeling her voice. “I've been so bowed.”

“All right,” said Remus confidently. “I believe in you.”

He, Sirius, and Ruby passed the colourful portraits lining the stone walls until they reached the large one that depicted the bowl of fruit. Sirius's hand left the cover of the Invisibility Cloak to tickle the pear, then after it turned into a door handle, open the door.

As they tiptoed into the kitchens secretively, Remus noticed several house-elves that were preparing dinner or delivering plates hurriedly to the long tables. They swivelled around as the door opened and made confused sounds.

“Whoa, look at that,” whispered Sirius. The tables were absolutely stockpiled with food, just like the Great Hall usually looked at dinnertime. Roast beefs, chopped carrots, mashed potatoes, fried eggs, and a whole variety of other foods glistened before them, freshly prepared.

“Is we expecting guests, Missy?” asked one male house-elf, peering curiously at the open door. Remus recognised him as Floggy.

“Not so soon before dinner,” said a female house-elf, who narrowed her enormous eyes. Her eyes seemed to hover over where Remus stood, and he was scared for a second that house-elves could see through Invisibility Cloaks. But then her eyes flickered past, and she clapped her tiny little hands together.

“Right, everybody is done placing the plates down? We is only having three minutes til dinner time,” said Missy.

“No, there is still some roast chicken Pippy and Roody is not finished with yet,” squeaked one of the house-elves.

Missy's eyes widened, making her huge eyes even huger. “Pippy, and Roody, make haste! Good goblins, we house-elves is getting slower and slower every day! Is we wanting our masters to dismiss us for being too slow?”

“No, no, we is not,” said two house-elves in unison, probably Pippy and Roody, who scuttled by and delivered a dozen plates of roast chicken with a click of their long fingers. After this, the house-elves tottered off to the benches, probably to clean.

“We have to do it,” whispered Sirius.

“Now?” asked Remus, worried.

“Now.”

“OK. _Momentus_ ,” he said, his wand pointed at the rabbit. The Speeding Up charm. “Be careful.”

“Give them hell, Ruby,” said Sirius devilishly.

Remus glanced at Sirius curiously. He didn't know why, but Sirius addressing Ruby personally made Remus quite pleased.

Ruby leapt from Remus's arms out of the cover of the Cloak, and quite possibly caused the most chaos he had ever seen. It took a few moments for the house-elves to realise that Ruby was there, but really, how could they miss the blur of white flying across the room faster than a broomstick? Remus watched Ruby leap gleefully at top speed from counter to counter, knocking away frying pans and plates. The clangs and crashes echoed throughout the kitchen.

“What is that?” yelled one house-elf.

“Filthy animal!” screeched another. “We must be getting it!”

And so, the group of house-elves screamed a war cry as they attempted to catch Ruby, who was kicking away plates and cutlery onto the floor. The elves shot out magic jets of light that made Remus flinch to try and slow down the rabbit.

But Ruby's speeded up little feet were jumping and knocking away as many kitchen utensils and tools as she could. Several of the house-elves, almost half, were hurriedly trying to pick up all the dropped frying pans and cutlery and put them back where they belonged.

“Keep the rabbit away from the food!” squeaked Missy furiously.

Ruby soared from the countertop and darted away out the door, towards even more kitchens, probably. All the house-elves (they had finished putting everything back where it belonged) began to follow Ruby back.

“OK, quick, let's hurry,” said Remus.

Together, he and Sirius worked as a team to apply the spells to as many food items as they could. Remus went first, waving his wand and casting, “ _Tardify_ ,” over a bunch of plates, then moving on to the next bunch. Sirius then would cast, “ _Avifors_ ,” over the plates of food Remus had just charmed. They did this for several until Remus was pretty confident they had charmed all the food that was prepared on the plates. Hopefully, Remus's repeated thoughts of “ _Twenty minutes, twenty minutes_ ,” would pay off, and the transformation would occur at the optimal time.

“We're done,” hissed Sirius.

“We have to go get Ruby now,” said Remus hurriedly, and together they walked as fast as they could under the Cloak to the other kitchens to try and find Ruby.

They walked into more high-ceilinged kitchens with several uniform sinks and ovens lining the walls. The floor was cluttered with cutting boards and wooden spoons that several house-elves were fumbling to pick up and place back on the countertops.

Remus and Sirius silently tiptoed past them, careful not to alert them to their presence.

They walked through several different corridors of kitchens until finally—

“Look, there,” hissed Sirius. They had reached yet another tiny kitchen corridor, where all the cutlery and things had been put back in place. Clearly the house-elves had cleaned this one up, or Ruby hadn't gotten to her destruction yet.

Ruby was cornered. She had nowhere to dart, because she was surrounded by a dozen murderous-looking house-elves, led by Missy. “ _Ruby_ ,” Remus wanted to scream.

“Dirty animals is not allowed in our kitchen!” she squealed. “Goodbye, rodent.”

Besides Remus, Sirius slammed down a row of cutlery. Remus felt the weight of Sirius's hand stretching in the opposite direction, felt it tug on the Cloak and threatened to slip it off. The steel knives and forks toppled to the floor. Some of them screamed, startled at the sudden noise.

Floggy moaned. “What is happening?”

“More cleaning up!” complained another.

“Who is being there?” yelled out Missy in her squeaky voice. “Who is it?”

Sirius answered by throwing a frying pan overhead. It clanged loudly against another row of wooden spoons, cups, and spatulas, which rained down upon the kitchen floor. One wooden spoon hit Remus on the head.

The house-elves were panicking. They looked to Missy, confused about whether to magically punish Ruby, or to fight the invisible force, or to clean up the mess.

“It must be Peeves!” Missy shrieked. “Peeves, we is going to tell on you!”

It was chaos. Sirius was the second coming of Ruby, knocking down as many things as he could, shoving past house-elves, who yelped at the invisible force pushing them out of the way. Remus struggled to keep up, almost getting his feet tangled in the cloth of the Cloak. The house-elves ducked out of the way of the flying kitchen appliances, yelling abuse at Peeves, Ruby forgotten.

“I got him, I got him!” gasped Floggy, who had just grabbed onto Remus's leg through the Cloak.

In a move that Remus regretted, he kicked the house-elf off, and finally he and Sirius reached Ruby, who looked utterly bewildered.

 _Reach out_ , the voice in his head said. “I'm  _doing_ that,” Remus retorted to the voice, scooping up Ruby's tiny body, and tucking her underneath the cover of the Cloak.

“I'm so sorry, Ruby,” Remus said. He didn't even bother trying to lower his voice because the pandemonium in the kitchen was so loud.

“That. Was. So. Fun!” Ruby practically shouted.

One of the house-elves shouted that Peeves had went that way (he hadn't), and the dozen house-elves flooded out of this particular kitchen.

Remus sighed in relief. “Let's go, let's go,” he told Sirius and together they darted out of the kitchen.

It felt like an eternity before they were tumbling out from the portrait of the pear — they passed the plates of food once more, which was still food — and down the corridor. They whipped off the Invisibility Cloak as they stumbled towards James and Peter, who jumped up excitedly.

“Oh, good, you're here!” said James, taking back his Cloak.

“Marlene McKinnon came over,” Peter enthusiastically recounted, “and asked us what we were doing, and we told her that the portraits came alive and started attacking everyone and—”

“Great,” cut in Sirius. “Oh, Godric, it's almost seven. Let's go see if our hard work paid off.”

The Marauders stumbled up the staircase to reach the Great Hall, when they heard the sound of someone's footsteps.

“Oh, bugger, get that Cloak around us before someone sees us,” said Sirius, and they had barely been cloaked before somebody slammed into them. Thankfully, they were invisible.

It was Professor Jewel. His head was whipping back and forth, trying to find the source and when Remus saw his eyes, they were utterly spooked. His shoulders were as tense as a rock, but his hands were shaking.

“Wh-who's there?” he whispered.

Nobody answered.

After a solid ten seconds of silently standing, the Marauders sighed in relief when Professor Jewel finally scurried off.

“That was weird,” muttered James as they waltzed their way to a place off the Great Hall where they could still see the happenings inside. All of Hogwarts's population sat in their seats, waiting patiently for dinner to arrive.

“Super twitchy,” agreed Peter.

“Remember when I bumped into  _you_  when you were in the Cloak?” Remus said to James, feeling the grin spread across his lips.

“Yeah, and you hit me so hard I ended up in the Hospital wing,” said James cheerfully. “I remember! That was—”

“Shh, dinnertime's starting in three … two … one …” said Sirius, checking his watch.

The dinner materialised in plates and pots and bowls of delicious, fresh food on the five tables in the Great Hall. The chatter in the Great Hall rose, excited at the dinner. Remus held his breath.

And then it begun.

It didn't happen all at once. At first, it was only at the end of the Hufflepuff table where someone yelled in shock. Not everyone knew what was happening, but suddenly everyone at the Hufflepuff was the victim. Remus saw Davey Gudgeon, as he was going to eat a drumstick, fall off his chair because it suddenly transfigured into a pure white dove in his hands.

He let go of it, and the dove joined the dozens and dozens of birds soaring above the Hufflepuff table. Everyone's pudding, their roast duck, their potatoes — they burst into explosions of white feathers and beaks that squawked and added to the cacophony of laughter in the Great Hall. Even the bowls and plates and cutlery were morphing into the little white birds, flapping and causing chaos at the Hufflepuff table.

Certainly, the Slytherins were enjoying this the most. Remus saw Regulus Black and Severus snickering together — but then, as they tried to get a spoonful of their soup as they watched, as if at the movies, their spoons grew wings, and a beak, and talons that slashed through the air. Yells of shock erupted all along the Great Hall as people's foods transformed into doves.

Even the teachers table fell victim to the mass transfiguration. He watched Professor Jewel, who recently had tottered up to the table, jump back as his brioche began to fly. He watched Professor McGonagall's pie squawk and attempt to peck at her face. Even Professor Dumbledore reacted, lamenting his sweets sadly after they began to sprout feathers.

It was utter chaos.

It was the most amazing thing they'd ever done.

That night in the Common Room, the four Marauders had to pretend, like everyone else, to be super annoyed with  _whatever idiots_ decided to mess with the dinner prepared by the house-elves. But, when they returned to the dorm room their grins were the widest they had ever been in a long while, even if their stomachs were super empty.

“You gotta admit,” said Sirius to Remus lazily, “this time,  _that_ was wicked.”

Remus almost fought the smile. Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm really sorry for not updating in so long. School is a drag. Here's a super long chapter that was previously two separate chapters, but I realised it flowed better if they were in one. Thank you to all my readers! :)


	27. Second Year: The Insufferable Know-It-All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She’s such an insufferable know-it-all,” growled James.

— CHAPTER SEVEN —

**_The Insufferable Know-It-All_ **

 

The best thing about the Incident of the Flying Food was that they never got caught. It was much too chaotic that fateful night to find out which perpetrators were  _stupid_ and  _brilliant_ enough to pull off a feat that brilliant.

“I don’t know how we’ll ever top that,” James was saying on their way to Charms.

“Too right,” said Remus.

“You people think too small,” said Sirius, waggling his finger. He chucked a wad of tissues in a nearby wastebasket. “We’re the Marauders! We can do anything! We’re unstoppable.”

“Remus, your spell was incredible,” said James, Peter agreeing squeakily.

“No, no.” Remus shook his head adamantly. “The idea, that was the brilliant part,” he said, a grin growing on his face, “even if it  _was_  Sirius’s.”

Sirius, laughing, attempted to shove Remus, but he was saved by their arrival in the Charms classroom. (Remus was pleased to Sirius thought his joke was funny.)

“Settle down everybody,” said Professor Flitwick meekly as the Marauders took their seats, Remus beside Peter, James beside Sirius. “Now, where was I?”

“The Flame-Freezing Charm, sir,” Lily said promptly in the seat directly in front of Remus.

“Ooh, thank you very much Ms Evans!” said Professor Flitwick with a faint smile.

James rolled his eyes. “Teacher’s pet,” he said through a cough, causing titters to break out among the Gryffindors. Remus sat behind Lily and couldn’t see her expression, but he swore her shoulders stiffened.

“Now!” said Professor Flitwick tremulously. “The Flame-Freezing Charm, er, is a very useful spell that wizards use when in times of fiery trouble. The incantation is:  _Flammare Frigidus_. Everyone, say it with me,  _Flammare Frigidus_ …good! Now, would anyone like to come up to perform a Fire-Making Spell for me, as revision?”

Again, Lily’s hand was the first one in the air. Behind her, James copied her movements exaggeratedly, waving his hand desperately in the air; this sent Sirius into a fit. Lily ignored them. Remus felt a twinge of something in his stomach that  _really_ didn’t set well with him, but he said nothing. James had been doing that  _a lot_ lately.

“Yes, yes, right here Ms Evans … please, be careful … ah, yes, wonderful!”

Lily had cast, “ _Incendio_!” and from her wand a fire had burst into life on the classroom floor.

“Now, what was that for again…?” murmured Professor Flitwick, who had been staring off into space.

“He’s acting pretty weird today, isn’t he?” muttered Remus to Peter, who merely shrugged.

Lily, once more, spoke up. “You were going to demonstrate the Flame-Freezing Charm, Professor.”

“Ah, yes! Of course! Ms Evans, please be seated. Class, watch and learn:  _Flammare Frigidus_ ,” he said, his short wand pointed at his miniature body. A pale blue glow passed over him for a split second, before disappearing. Professor Flitwick shuddered, as if he a cold draft had blown into the classroom. “Always so cold. Now, look!”

The class ooh’ed and aah’ed as Professor Flitwick stepped into Lily’s flames and remained unharmed and unburned. The fire licked at him, but he looked as if he were completely fine. In fact, er, Remus noticed awkwardly, the man looked so at peace that he might have fallen asleep if Mary MacDonald had not cleared her throat loudly.

“Oh, good Godric! Oh … now, er, practice amongst yourselves, but  _without fire please_. You’ll know if it works if you feel a cold rush run over you.”

And with that Professor Flitwick tottered off to his desk. Nobody but Remus was looking at the Charms Professor, but Remus saw the little wizard sigh wearily, his eyes never leaving the door of the classroom; it was as if he expected someone to burst through at any moment.

The lesson passed, and they discovered that Remus was really good at the charm, while Peter was not. The Marauders filed out of the classroom behind the rest of the Gryffindors. Professor Flitwick darted past them.

“That was weird, wasn’t it?” wondered Remus.

“What was?” yawned Sirius.

“That lesson. Professor Flitwick seemed really tired, and also really anxious.”

Sirius smirked. “Of course, you care about teachers and their wellbeing. Only Remus.”

The other Marauders chuckled at this, and Remus felt embarrassed.

“Why do you think he was acting weird?” asked James.

“Isn’t it obvious?” cut in a voice from behind. It was Lily, who had been listening in on their conversation.

James rolled his eyes. “Oh, since you’re so smart, tell us why Flitwick was so odd today.”

“It’s not  _just_ Flitwick,” said Lily haughtily. She joined Remus’s side on their walk to the next class, which seemed to irk James to no end. “Professor McGonagall’s been snappier lately, and Professor Slughorn hasn’t made jokes in ages,  _and_ Professor Jewel’s been really twitchy.”

While Remus couldn’t vouch for Lily’s statements about the first two teachers (because, let’s face it, when wasn’t McGonagall snappy? And when did Remus pay attention in Potions, let alone Slughorn’s inane jokes?), he did recall Professor Jewel’s unnecessarily shaky reaction when they had bumped into him under the Invisibility Cloak’s guise. “I see that, sort of,” said Remus.

“You didn’t even answer my question,” snapped James to Lily. “I thought you knew everything.”

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” Lily practically yelled even though they were very near one another.

Why did Lily get James so angry all the time? Why did James get Lily so angry all the time?

“Then stop talking,” James barked back.

Lily followed his advice. She stalked off, Remus feeling as if he  _really should’ve intervened there_. Salazar. He really should go talk to Lily later. Remus and the other two Marauders who weren’t James exchanged silent, meaningful looks. They knew when James was angry, and they would have to wait a bit for him to calm down.

“She’s such an insufferable know-it-all,” growled James.

They arrived late to their Defence lesson, but Professor Jewel (who seemed to be getting over that teacher weirdness epidemic going around) grinned knowingly — as if he knew they had been doing  _something or other_  — and ushered them in quickly to show the flying snakes he’d brought into class that day. ( _What a cool guy_ , Remus mused.)

*

“ _And_  … ha!” said Frank Longbottom, as his Kingstone knocked out the final Serfstone from the playing circle, bringing up his total points to nine, to Remus’s six. “I win! Again. But, you did better this time.”

It was true. Remus did do better this time, even if only marginally. He grinned, hoping that Frank knew he wasn’t disappointed with the round. In fact, Gobstones was actually pretty fun, and Frank was a good teacher, even if he really liked to win.

“Rematch?” asked Frank.

“Sure,” said Remus, grabbing his ratty Gobstones set once more.

It was lunchtime. The classroom was an open, inviting space that was beginning to feel familiar to Remus. Students from all different years sat and lolled on the soft carpet, eyes focused on getting the most precise flick of their Kingstones; they knocked away Serfstones out of glowing circles or tried to knock away opponent’s Gobstones in order to have more points. In the corner of the room, Remus watched Regulus play against another Slytherin boy on opposite ends of a hole, attempting to get their Gobstones as close to the rim of the hole without them falling down.

“OK, you flick it like  _this_ ,” Frank was saying to Remus, whose eyes glanced back to the Gryffindor prefect. “See here? My thumb’s bent as far back as it can.”

Frank, who was crouching down, flicked his Kingstone. It soared towards the circle Frank had drawn, and collided against another stone, making it shriek as it rolled away.

“Now you try,” Frank told Remus.

“Oh, er, okay.” Remus knelt down just like Frank did, his own Kingstone prepped in his hand. Remus’s Kingstone, like the rest of his Gobstone set, was second-hand, and hence was pale, heavy, and chipped a bit on the surface.

“The trick is to be eye-level with your hand,” Frank said.

All right. Eye-level with your hand. Remus crouched down even lower to make sure he could properly aim and — off the Kingstone went, colliding not with the nearly as much strength or speed as Frank’s, but still enough to send one Serfstone rolling out of the playing circle.

“Awesome!” said Frank encouragingly. “My turn.”

Frank took a second to sneeze, then hit  _two_ Serfstones out. Remus set his shoulders once more, preparing to flick his Kingstone once more — until it began to twitch and then spasm and then shoot out green gunk into Remus’s eyes.

“What the—”

“Oh, dear!” said Frank, laughter in his voice. “I guess your Kingstone’s faulty. That sucks.”

He cleaned up the mess immediately. Remus was quite embarrassed that his Gobstones set was so shoddy and that Frank clearly knew Remus was  _not_ a rich person.

However, Frank said nothing but: “Good game! I have to go now for catch-up in Potions, but thanks for playing with me, Remus!”

After Frank, his only friend in Gobstones Club, left, Remus too wistfully departed from the warm friendliness of the Club to return to Gryffindor Tower; he had to put his Gobstones set away before anyone saw him with it out.

“Oh, hi, Remus!” said a voice behind him. Lily’s, again.

Remus panicked and shoved the set deep into his robes, before turning around as casually as he could. “Hullo Lils. How’s it going?”

“Great! Uh, where were you coming from?” Lily cocked her head to the side, her hair spilling all over her shoulder.

“Er, library,” Remus lied.

“All right, cool,” she said dismissively. Clearly, she wasn’t that interested. “ _Anyway_ , Remus, I actually really wanted to talk to you about…” She leaned in to whisper. “About the teachers. I think I found something out. Wanna see?”

Remus, in all honesty, wasn’t  _that_ intrigued. However, he felt super bad for not standing up for Lily a couple of days ago. Somehow, maybe this could make up for it?

 _Reach out_ , the voice in his head whispered.  _All right_ , he said back.

“Sure.”

“Cool!” she said, sounding thrilled. The bounce in her step was comparable to Ruby’s that fateful night in the Hogwarts kitchens.

“Where are we going, Lily?” Remus asked, as she led him down corridors and corridors. Remus found himself marvelling once more at the sheer size of the school, wishing to Godric that someday he could map out its entire contents. They eventually reached the sixth floor of the school.

Lily turned to one of the paintings on the wall, which depicted an army of knights galloping across the countryside, searching to battle beasts like vampires and werewolves. “Pretty please with a fairy on top,” she said to the knights, who rode off the border of the portrait, returning with a doorknob. The doorknob suddenly appeared before Lily, allowing her to open the painting like a door, much like the entrance to the Hogwarts kitchen.

The doorway led to another corridor. Remus almost laughed.

“Here,” said Lily, finally stopping at seemingly a random place. She pointed towards the floor.

“Er, Lily? I don’t see anything.”

“Focus  _really_ hard,” she said excitedly. “I think there’s a Notice-Me-Not Charm over it, so you gotta be  _looking_ for something.” Then she hesitated. “But, I’m not any better than you if you can’t see it, don’t get me wrong.”

Remus heeded her advice. He stared at where Lily was gazing, imaging that something … something was there, something hidden under the guise of magic … and there it was. A huge crater in the ground, as if a bomb had exploded underneath the floor.

“What in the world?” said Remus.

“I know!” said Lily excitedly. “That day, after Professor Sprout gave me detention, I came here, and guess who happens to come here but Professor Spout herself, and Professor McGonagall! I was hiding, and I listened to them talking. Apparently, some  _really_ dark magic was cast, so they haven’t been able to repair the damage yet.”

“But why?” wondered Remus aloud. “Why would someone just make a hole in the ground here?”

“Dunno!” said Lily. “I really wish I did … hopefully the teachers find out, at least.”

“Yeah, that’s super weird,” said Remus. “This is a pretty obscure area too. The painting password and everything.”

“Oh, no, it’s not that obscure,” Lily reasoned. “It’s a common study area, it’s got a few quiet rooms to do homework in, tons of people know about it. But, er, nobody really comes anymore.”

“…Why?”

Lily for some reason looked sheepish. “Because of the smell.”

“Hmm?” asked Remus. Where was this going?

“Remus, I have something else to show you,” Lily admitted. “It’s the reason I was here that day the Wandering Willow woke up and I saw Sprout and McGonagall come up.” Then Lily’s eyes widened. “Oh, just know, I’m showing you because it’s interesting, and I want to show you. Not because I’m showing off or anything.”

Remus cocked his head curiously at this, but said, “Well, what is it?”

“Well, do you remember that time at the end of last year when you, er, were saving Archie?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Lily began to walk down the corridors, past the empty study rooms and the few portraits lining the cobblestone walls. Remus kept pace with her, listening intently.

“Well, remember when you used my two-way parchment to trick Severus?” she asked.

“Lily, I’m really sorry, I’m so stupid, I didn’t think about how it would affect you—”

“No, no,” said Lily. “It’s all right, it’s in the past. What I was going to say is, and I’m not sure you’ll entirely remember, but do you remember when I was looking through the wastebasket to try find my parchment that got chucked away?”

Remus did remember. They took a turn. “You found it, eventually, right?”

“Yeah!” said Lily. “But not in the one in the Gryffindor Common Room, because, well, the wastebaskets in Hogwarts have a special enchantment on them to teleport the rubbish at — Wait, sorry, am I rambling? Am I being annoying?”

“No, no,” said Remus. (Why was Lily acting like this?) “Continue.”

“Right. So whatever rubbish is in those bins, gets teleported to get thrown into an even larger bin, at specific times of day. That’s the special enchantment. The bins had already teleported all the previous day’s rubbish away by the time I was looking for my parchment.”

The empty, silent corridors were less unnerving than Remus had thought they should be. There were fires in each crackling warmly in every room they passed, the doors wide open as if to invite them in. But … the further they walked … the more Remus could  _smell_ something. Something awful.

“Oh! Like the tables in the Hogwarts kitchen!” said Remus. “Like a super advanced  _Tardify_.”

Lily eyed him suspiciously. “I’m not too sure ‘bout the first part, but, yeah! Like an advanced Delaying Charm.” Then she hesitated. “I think. I’m not too sure. I might be wrong, okay?”

“So, you found it in the, er, big bin?” asked Remus. Lily’s pace was slowing down. Remus looked directly at the door at the end of the corridor, the only one that was forebodingly shut. “Wasn’t it, like, super gross and smelly?”

“Well, yes, and no,” she said, stopping before the door. “Er, you’ll see.”

And Lily wrenched the door open, which opened Remus’s eyes to a very odd sight. Inside the room was a wide expanse of space, which was littered with, well,  _litter_. Bits of parchment, tissue paper, plastic, old clothing, broken things were scattered around the floor of the large room, like a smaller version of a Muggle dump. To Remus’s revulsion, there was also rotted food lying around, which was attracting flies and other bugs.  _That’s where the smell’s coming from_ , thought Remus.

“How do you know about all this?” Remus wondered.

“Filch told me,” Lily said. “I asked him about it last year very nicely, and he told me.”

Remus gawked.  _Filch_? He remembered him as that old guy that had chased Remus and Sirius that one night they had stayed out after curfew. But, he didn’t question it. After all, Lily was friendly with that giant-of-a-man Hagrid, and Remus, a werewolf (even if she didn’t know it.) “Er, is this room the bin?” asked Remus, gesturing around.

“Huh? What, no,” said Lily. “The bin is right there.”

For the second time today, Remus looked to the ground and found a hole. In the centre of the room was a hole similar to the size of a Gobstones playing circle, perhaps a metre and a half wide. Unlike the crater they had seen earlier, this hole was perfectly circular, as if created by magic, and was pitch black. While Remus had seen dust and stone at the bottom of the previous crater, Remus could see absolutely nothing at the bottom of this one.

“That’s the bin?” asked Remus, incredulously. Wow. Wizards were so extravagant.

“It’s called a Bottomless Pit,” Lily explained snootily. “It’s actually pretty self-explanatory — actually, no, scratch that, that’s rude.” She recomposed herself. “Basically, it’s enchanted to be  _super, super_ long (it’s not actually  _bottomless_ ), so it’s ideal for throwing away rubbish. All the rubbish in Hogwarts is teleported in the ceiling right above the Pit,” she said, pointing up, “which then falls down and is meant to be consumed by the Pit.”

“Meant to?”

“Yeah,” said Lily. “Watch this.” She picked up a roll of parchment that had been discarded and chucked it into the Bottomless Pit — which then spat it right back up, as if it had bounced off some magical barrier.

Remus frowned. “What just happened?”

“It’s broken!” Lily said excitedly, in the same way someone would announce their favourite band was releasing a new song. “The Pit’s broken. That’s why all this rubbish is outside, around the Pit, and not inside. That’s how I was able to get back my parchment, because the Pit’s been broken for ages, since last year!”

“Oh,” said Remus curiously. “…So?”

“ _So_ , I’m going to fix it, duh!” said Lily, pleased with herself. “You’ll help me, right?”

“Oh.” Truth be told, Remus wasn’t super interested in this bin at all, and wasn’t super interested in helping her out. But he said, “Yeah, ‘course.”

“Thank you, Remus,” she gushed.

They began to leave the study room corridors, which took quite a bit of time to navigate their way out of. They carefully walked around the mysterious crater in the ground and they had serenely began to walk back to Gryffindor Tower before lunch ended when—

“Remus. You don’t think I’m an insufferable know-it-all, do you?” asked Lily, an edge of desperation in her voice. Remus turned, and he saw, with a startled jolt, that her eyes were shiny, as if about to tear up.

“Huh?” was all Remus could say.

“Oh, never mind,” said Lily thickly, scurrying off before Remus could say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just know that I love all you guys. :) <3


	28. Second Year: James’s Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius coughed. (Remus rolled his eyes — why was Sirius so derisive about Lily all the time?)

— CHAPTER EIGHT —

**_James’s Games_ **

 

In no time at all, Defence Against the Dark Arts had become many people’s favourite class. In fact, come November, everyone was utterly enamoured with Professor Jewel’s lessons. It was the first time people looked forward to coming to class.

After finishing off studying those pesky little pixies, the class moved onto Grindylows, which were funny little water demons with tentacles and wide-set eyes.

“Just you wait, all of you kids,” he told the class good-naturedly at the end of the lesson. They had been dismissive about whether Grindylows were  _that_ dangerous. “I’ll bring one next lesson — they’re much scarier up close!”

“Hey, that’s like you!” James said to Sirius, earning him a smack on the head.

The class, comprised of the second-year Gryffindors and Slytherins, made their way to their next period, which was Potions. Professor Slughorn was a large, plump man who much resembled a walrus. He had a pleasant, chortling voice, but the things he said often grated on Remus. For example, recently he’d made a light-hearted comment to Sirius about how, now that Regulus was in Slytherin, Slughorn almost had ‘the full set.’ Needless to say, there was no shortage of cuss words Sirius had said to Slughorn.

Today he was teaching them about how to collect the ingredients for Swelling Solution. “Now, could someone tell me where I could find pufferfish eyes and dried nettle in the same location? Anyone? Miss Evans?”

He beamed down at his star student. However, Lily wasn’t beaming back. In fact, she jolted up, as if she hadn’t been paying attention. “Oh,” she said. “Er, I don’t know. Sorry, Professor.”

Professor Slughorn looked as if Lily had been replaced by a ghost. “Goodness … all right. You, Mr Snape?”

Severus gave the answer in his low, droning voice, but Remus wasn’t listening. He was staring sideways at Lily, feeling  _something_ curdling at the pit of his stomach. This was weird. Too weird. Why was Lily acting so strangely?

Remus hadn’t really talked to Lily since that day when she had shown him those two craters in the ground behind that painting of knights — the magic-made, recent ones that the teachers had been investigating, and the broke Bottomless Pit that was meant to serve as a rubbish bin. Maybe he should suggest that they go together and try fix that hole, however that would possibly work?

As the lesson drew to a close, Remus was about to go up to Lily — he didn’t know what he was going to say, but he had to say  _something_  — but the sound of a collision, falling items and raised voices made Remus whip his head the other way around.

“…watch where you’re going,” James was saying. He was glaring up at Evan Rosier, a strong-jawed Slytherin boy who towered over him. Remus glanced around — Slytherins like Rickard Mulciber were already standing up for Evan; Gryffindors were already steeling themselves, ready to defend James.

Evan snorted. “Yeah? What’re you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to beat your arses this Sunday,” retorted James. (It took Remus a bit to realise James was speaking about the upcoming Quidditch game between Gryffindor and Slytherin.)

“You beat us? You have two second-years on your team,” laughed Evan, who then turned around to walk away. “G’bye, four eyes.”

 _Reach out_ , murmured the voice in Remus’s head.

“So, it’ll be even funnier when you lose!” yelled James at the departing figures. “Out of my way, Snivellus,” he said, shoving into Severus purposefully as he stomped away. James was so incensed that he excused himself from lunch. This gave Remus an opening to say:

“Guys. Don’t you think James has been a bit … high-strung recently? A bit, um, mean?”

“What do you mean?” said Peter quickly, swallowing his shepherd’s pie.

“Are you saying he shouldn’t have gone off at those Slytherins today?” demanded Sirius loyally, setting down a tissue.

“No, no,” said Remus quickly. “It’s just…” A sigh. “Nothing.”

“No, say it,” said Sirius.

Remus said, “I feel like — that other day with Lily. And today with Severus. Those two times … they were a bit uncalled for.”

Sirius shrugged. “I guess.”

“Shouldn’t we be supporting James?” squeaked Peter. “Isn’t that what friends do?”

“Of course,” said Remus hurriedly. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Nah, you’re sort of right,” said Sirius. Remus was pleased that he was winning over Sirius.

“I think it’s ‘cause the game’s coming up,” reasoned Remus slowly. “That’s probably why. There’s a lot of pressure to beat Slytherin.”

Sirius agreed to that. “The tension between Gryffindor and Slytherin’s only gotten more intense.” Something flickered across Sirius’s face. “Do you remember when Mulciber and Avery got in trouble at the Halloween feast?”

“Yeah!” said Peter, but Remus didn’t recall. “They shoved those first-year Gryffindors out of the way, remember?”

“Hmm?”

“The Halloween feast,” Peter said plainly. “Oh, right, Remus, you weren’t there. You were visiting your mum.”

“Oh,” said Remus awkwardly. Now he remembered. That night had been the full moon, so Remus hadn’t attended the feast. The werewolf in him had risen up and tore his body inside out once more, and now he had no Archie to be able to speak to about his troubles. Feasts had been the last of his worries.

Sirius was looking directly at Remus.  _Salazar_. He was grateful when Sirius began to have a sneezing fit and had to go look for more tissues. “Well, I really hope we win.”

“Oh, he will!” said Peter excitedly. “He’s a cracking Chaser, he’ll score loads.”

Sirius took a moment to wipe his nose, then adamantly agreed.

*

Sunday arrived with a deluge of rain splattering across Hogwarts castle. At breakfast, nerves were high, and Remus couldn’t help but feel that those at the Slytherin table kept glaring at those sitting at the Gryffindor table.

Rain kept slapping the large windows of the Great Hall.

“Don’t worry,” said James easily, taking a bite of his buttered bun. “A bit of rain is nothing for the Gryffindor team. We have Mary, she’s a mad beater, and Will, obviously, the best Seeker in Hogwarts history probably. Alice’s not a bad Keeper herself. And  _me_ , of course.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, but to Remus’s pleasure, he was smiling.

Lucius Malfoy, captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, was waltzing by, swishing his emerald green and silver robes. Remus felt his skin crawl once Lucius had stopped behind James. (James, too, visibly stiffened.) Hadn’t Sirius said things about Lucius Malfoy, about his strangely purist views, about his closeness with Sirius’s cousin?

“Hello, Potter,” he purred, standing high above James, who did not turn to look at him. “You have to be quite the player to be saying so many things about the Slytherin team.”

“I am,” snapped James confidently. Remus stiffened. Was James going to have another outburst?

Lucius laughed, but it wasn’t a kind one. “We’ll see.” His slender, pale arm reached to snatch the bun in James’s hand.

“Be careful, it might turn into a bird!” yelled James, making Lucius jump back in surprise. The Gryffindors exploded into raucous laughter and Lucius snarled before stalking away, his green-clad team in tow. Even Remus managed a smile.

Afterwards, James went off to the Quidditch changing rooms and Remus, Sirius, and Peter went to the stands in the Quidditch pitch, umbrellas in hands. Ruby had wanted to come, but Remus had given her a resounding  _no._

On the way there, Remus’s heart sank as he saw someone familiar. He swivelled around to Sirius, not sure what he was going to do, or say—

Sirius growled. “Who is  _that_ with him?”

It was Regulus, his dark, tousled hair so similar to Sirius’s wet from the rain. He was walking next to that pale, freckled boy who he had joined Gobstones Club with. They were muttering to one another and walked past Sirius and Remus without ever looking at them.

“I think his name is Barty Crouch,” whispered Remus. Inside, Remus was panicking because he hated it when Sirius was upset. Poor Sirius. Remus had  _no idea_ what to do or say in this situation.

“How do you know that?” asked Sirius, looking at Remus curiously.

“Er—dunno, just seen them around.” Remus was not about to tell Sirius he had joined Gobstones Club. He would, at best, make fun of Remus. At worst, he’d stop being friends with Remus.

“Whatever,” said Sirius, looking as stormy as the skies above. “Let’s go sit down.”

They also bumped into Professor Jewel, who was looking rapidly around, as if searching for something. When he saw them, he grinned widely. “Hello, kids. Here to support Mr Potter?”

“‘Course,” said Peter cheerfully.

“Not to be biased, but I’m cheering for Gryffindor too,” whispered the Defence professor good-naturedly. Then he scurried away, and Remus saw him join the section of the stands dedicated for the teachers. Professor Dumbledore looked particularly funny in a hat with an enormous canopy that meant he didn’t have to hold an umbrella.

After this, they made their way to any empty seats they could find; this proved difficult due to the sheer number of people piling into the stands, even though it was raining. Clearly everybody knew about the fierce rivalry between Gryffindors and Slytherins.

Sirius sat between Remus and Peter, and together they watched nervously as the teams filed into the pitch, under the heavy downpour from the grey sky. Will Weasley and Lucius Malfoy exchanged curt nods and a quick handshake.

Sirius sniffed, and for a second Remus wondered if he was crying, but, no, he merely had a cold. Must be the rain.

Umbrellas were snapped open, and people sat at the edge of their seats as Sir Stoutheart got released the four balls into the air.

Sirius gripped Remus’s arm instinctively. The Quaffle was chucked in the air, the Bludgers burst into a flurry immediately, and the Golden Snitch disappeared from view in an instant.

The match had begun.

*

“…and I was like,  _oh, no, Malfoy_ , you are  _not_ getting that Snitch, so I swerved my broom (a Nimbus 1001, if you forgot), and I flew right in front of him,” said James excitedly. “You saw that right? Yeah, yeah! Malfoy got spooked, and lost vision of the Snitch  _and_ I still scored.”

James was regaling for what maybe was the fifth time about the Quidditch match two days ago. This time his audience was Mary MacDonald (who had been in the match herself) and Marlene McKinnon (who had not attended the match.)

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look, and Sirius rolled his pale eyes. Peter, however, eagerly listened along as if he had never heard this story before.

While Remus was very happy that James and the Gryffindors had won by a landslide — that, admittedly, James had played  _very, very_ well — Saturday even he was getting annoyed by how much James was going on about his tale.

However, Remus thought that there was someone who should be much more annoyed.

Maybe weeks ago, Lily would have snapped something about how bigheaded James was being, but here she was doing nothing of the sort. Across from Remus, she was absent-mindedly twirling the little teaspoon in her teacup. She was clearly hearing everything James was saying, but she said nothing.

“…then Malfoy got so mad at me after the fifth score,” said James, “that he got distracted and missed the Snitch, so Weasley could fly in and nab it. Ah, I really love Quidditch!”

“Think there’s something else you really love, Potter,” sniggered Mary, nudging Lily and Marlene, but only Marlene laughed. Remus eyed Lily again, who checked her wristwatch then stood.

“We should go, guys,” she said. “Class starts soon.”

James yawned. “Swot,” he said — (Lily flinched) — “Let me finish my toast first.”

Mary shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

She and the other Gryffindor girls left the Great Hall.

James took so long to finish his toast — “Star Quidditch players need loads of food,” said James to an agreeing Peter — that the Marauders shuffled in late for their first class of the morning, Defence Against the Dark Arts.

“Sorry we’re late, sir, we were—” began Remus.

“You’re late,” cut in Professor Jewel, who sat erectly at his desk.

Remus started. Never had Professor Jewel interrupted a student before. Hadn’t he last week let their lateness slide? “Right, sorry, sir,” said Remus.

Professor Jewel rolled his eyes. “All right. Sit down.”

“Someone rode on the wrong side of their broomstick this morning,” muttered Sirius ever so quietly.

The Marauders took their seats, Remus next to Peter, James next to Sirius. They exchanged furtive glances, and Remus glanced around. The entire class was silent, which was incredibly rare for a Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson. Remus had the feeling that before the Marauders had come in, Professor Jewel had shut the class up.

“Right, today we’re going to be learning the Disarming Charm,” said Professor Jewel curtly. He stood up from his chair, brandishing his very short wand and holding it at the ready.

“But, sir,” said Lily timidly, her hand raised. “Weren’t we going to continue on Grindylows?”

Professor Jewel snorted. “We can do that another day. Grindylows aren’t as interesting as I might’ve made them out to be.”

“You said you were going to bring inone,” Lily said, her voice almost sad.

“Well, looks like I didn’t,” said Professor Jewel brusquely.

“Right. Sorry,” said Lily. Remus felt a pang in his chest.

“Now, who would like to help me demonstrate the Disarming Charm?” asked Professor Jewel swiftly, and when nobody replied, he pointed his stubby wand in James’s direction. “You. You were late. Come up here.”

James, to Remus’s irritation, walked up to the front of the class with as much swagger as someone could. He yawned, lazily drawing out his wand from his robes. “What do you want me to do?” he asked.

“Try to beat me,” said Professor Jewel. “ _Expelliarmus_.”

The wand flew out of James’s hand and clattered to the floor. James looked surprised.

“Fetch,” said Professor Jewel, grinning that way Professor Jewel usually did. Remus felt his eyebrows furrow immediately. That was actually quite rude, Remus thought. After James had picked up his wand, Professor Jewel said, “Now, your turn.”

“Er,  _Expelliarmus_ ,” said James. From his wand shot out a weak, sort of scarlet jet of light, but a jet of light nonetheless.

“ _Protego_ ,” said Professor Jewel smugly. A gossamer shield shimmered into life, and the James’s spell dissipated into the air.

“Hey,” said James, frowning. “That’s cheating. You didn’t say you could do that.”

Professor Jewel’s eyes narrowed. The shield melted into the air as soon as it had come. “Cheating? There is no such thing as cheating in duelling—”

“ _Expelliarmus_!” shouted James. Another jet of light burst from James’s outstretched wand. This time it hit Professor Jewel’s wand and sent it flying. The clatter it made on the floor echoed throughout the deadly silent classroom. Professor Jewel looked, safe to say, thunderous.

“Fetch,” said James, grinning. The cherry on top of his cake made of insolence.

While it did earn James detentions every day of the next week, and cost Gryffindor twenty solid points, Remus couldn’t help but feel glad for James’s arrogance at this point. Professor Jewel had been  _so_ out of line, and Remus felt a hot feeling of justice that James had showed the professor up, even a little.

Maybe sometimes self-confidence was a good thing, like when James had stood up for himself. Maybe sometimes Remus could use some self-confidence for himself.

Maybe if he had what James had, he wouldn’t have to hide so many things from his friends, like Gobstones Club. Like lycanthropy.  _Nah_ , Remus reasoned.  _That sounded stupid._  He would never tell anyone that he was a werewolf.

The rest of the lesson, Professor Jewel watched them practice the Charm on one another, ever so often correcting someone’s posture or their pronunciation. Remus thought that he was pretty good at the spell, managing to knock the wand out of Peter’s hand four times.

The lesson concluded and, after Professor Jewel stalked out of the classroom, the Gryffindors and Slytherins shuffled out. (While the tensions were still high from the Quidditch match, the whole class were united in thinking:  _What in Helga’s name had happened to Professor Jewel_?)

Behind the Marauders, Remus heard a cough. It was Lily. Remus half expected her to criticise James’s duelling technique or something; but she did nothing of the sort.

“G-Good job on the game,” said Lily quietly, her green eyes trained on James. “And, er, good job on the demonstration. I thought you handled that well.”

James blinked, and for a few awkward seconds, had nothing to say. “Er, thank you,” he finally managed. “Um, bye.”

“What a weirdo,” said Peter after Lily had walked away.

Sirius coughed. (Remus rolled his eyes — why was Sirius so derisive about Lily all the time?)

Before Remus could speak up, James did. “At least she said something nice,” reasoned James curiously. He said it like it was the first time he had thought that, like it was something new to him too. “A weirdo, but nice.”

Sirius sniffed loudly behind Remus, as if in disagreement. Remus wanted to tell him to be quiet, but he wanted to say something to James.

“Speaking about weird things,” said Remus, as they began to walk in the direction of their next class, Potions, “what do we think about Professor Jewel. Crazy, right?”

“Starkers,” agreed James. “Y’know how you said all those teachers were being weird a couple of weeks ago? I think Professor Jewel still has that disease.”

Peter nodded wildly, squeezing in between Remus and James. “I know, right? I thought he was nice!”

“What do you think, Sirius?” said Remus. Sirius had been oddly silent the entire conversation.

Remus turned around, then stopped. What … was Sirius doing? Sirius had stopped walking. Remus could barely see Sirius’s face (only his dark curls), because most of it was obscured by a wad of thick tissues. Sirius’s entire body seemed to shake as he entered a violent coughing fit.

“Are you all right?” demanded Remus, rushing to Sirius’s side.

“Bugger—” Cough. “—Off.” Cough. “Don’t want you to get sick.”

“Let me see your face,” Remus said gently. James and Peter had now turned around and were curiously walking towards them.

“No,” said Sirius, his mouth muffled by the layers of tissues. Another cough.

“C’mon,” insisted Remus, grabbing Sirius’s slender wrist and dragging his arm down.

But it wasn’t Sirius’s face that made Remus gape. No, Sirius’s face was normal. What shook Remus to the core was the sheer concentration of dark scarlet blood that soaked through every single layer of tissues in Sirius’s bony hand.


	29. Second Year: The Whisperers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few moment's silence, Missy slowly said, "You can … understand?"

— CHAPTER NINE —

_**The Whisperers** _

 

The full moon fell on a Saturday that month. (Thank Godric, that meant he missed no classes the next day.) That evening, after being escorted down to the Whomping Willow by Madam Pomfrey, Remus made himself as comfortable as he could on the rickety floorboards of the shack, and let the rising moon take him. After that, everything turned to black, and he remembered nothing until he awoke in the shack. Sunlight filtered through the roof and shone on the new slashes his werewolf form had made on his body.

He felt so pathetic. His limbs were useless. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. He’d have to wait until Madam Pomfrey came.

Thank Godric his friends knew nothing about his lycanthropy. Thank Godric they wouldn’t have to know how truly pathetic Remus was.

Another thing Remus was truly grateful for — Sirius had been let out of the hospital wing before the full moon, meaning that Sirius would not see Remus’s suspiciously fresh cuts and bruises.

Sirius’s hospital wing visit had lasted a couple of days, before Madam Pomfrey eventually decided that there was nothing  _particularly_  unusual about Sirius’s symptoms, even if she didn’t know what the specific affliction Sirius was experiencing was. After all, this was the wizarding world. Coughing and sneezing was nothing on growing pustules or sprouting new limbs. She prescribed a week’s doses of Pepper-Up Potion and made a disgruntled Sirius promise to take it every mealtime.

“How  _is_  your mum?” asked James Monday morning when Remus joined them for lunch, feeling very tired.

“I think she’s getting a little better,” lied Remus, feeling guilty about the deception — but really, what else was he supposed to do? Honesty was impossible in his situation.

Remus’s eyes flickered up to Sirius’s. They seemed to be trained on Remus’s arm. Feeling self-conscious — could Sirius see a cut there? — he tugged his robe sleeve down subtly.

“That’s good,” said Peter earnestly. “I hope she makes a full recovery.”

“I hope this one does too,” said James light-heartedly, pulling Sirius into a one-handed hug. “Otherwise we’ll be hearing is his little snotty sniffs all day.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and pushed James away. “Bugger off.” Then his eyes glanced back to Remus’s. “Your mother’s sick, right? But I think I distinctly remember you mentioning your sick cousin…”

Remus felt his stomach drop, as if he had just jumped off from a high place. Remus had  _no idea_ if he had ever said that, but how was he to know? His memory wasn’t the best … had he slipped up when lying? Was this, again, one of Sirius’s tactics to get Remus to admit something?

“Sickliness runs through the family,” said Remus casually.

“Clearly,” drawled Sirius.

Remus almost glowered at him. Instead, he snapped, “Drink your Pepper-Up Potion.”

Remus then caught James glowering at Sirius, and Peter anxiously looking between the two, as if an argument were about to break out. Remus cleared his throat. “We should go to class, right? It’s starting soon.”

They had Herbology. The greenhouse had been restored to most of its former glory, the glass walls rebuilt, and many bushes, trees, and flowers replanted. Professor Sprout, who had also been acting pretty strangely the past few weeks, had recovered once the greenhouse had been restored. She spent a lot of the lesson marvelling about the beauty of Hogwarts’s Wandering Willows (though Remus personally thought he had definitely seen enough Wandering Willows for a lifetime.)

Next, they had double Charms. There, the spell of the lesson was ‘ _Tardify_ ’, which made all four Marauders exchange grin, because they had already practiced it for that glorious prank so many weeks ago.

“Remember, this can also be applied to duelling! Very useful spell!” squeaked Professor Flitwick from his high chair.

After the lesson had concluded, Remus was pleased to see Lily shuffle up to him.

“Hey, Remus,” she said timidly. “I was thinking — did you wanna…” Then she leaned in to whisper. “Did you wanna come with me to the bottomless pit today? I was thinking of trying out a Blasting Spell that I’d been learning — but it’s totally okay if you don’t want to come.”

Oh.  _That_. “Er, sure,” said Remus, even though he was reluctant to do so. He had homework to do, and he wanted to hang out with his friends … but to be fair, Lily was also his friend.

Lily’s grin was wide as it could be.

“Hey, actually I remembered something, but it might not be too important,” said Remus, who had been reminded due to the Charms lesson they’d just had. “I was at the kitchens a while back —  _nothing_ suspicious, ‘course — and the house-elves mentioned that the bins were faulty. Could they mean the, um, bottomless pit?”

Lily gasped and grabbed Remus’s arm. “Remus!  _Of course,_ that’s important! That is the  _epitome_ of importance. We have to go to the kitchens, right now!”

Hey. Remus felt a grin build on his face.  _This_ was Lily. Excited by new knowledge. Eager to discover new things. Exuberant. Where had this Lily gone?

Remus laughed as Lily dragged him along. “Okay, okay!”

“Hey, where are you going?” asked a voice. It was Sirius.

“I’m going to hang out with Lily for a bit,” said Remus.

“All right,” drawled Sirius.

“Why’d he look so suspicious for?” wondered Lily as they walked away. “You’d think he thought we were going off for a snog or something.”

Remus nervously laughed. “Dunno.”

Okay. Sirius was certainly onto Remus, onto the fact that Remus was harbouring some secret, was secretly going to places that he didn’t want others to find out about — but Remus was pretty confident that Sirius  _didn’t actually know_ , right? How could he? Invasive thoughts gnawed at him inside out. Maybe Sirius did know? Maybe that’s why he was being mean? Maybe he was slowly transitioning out from being Remus’s friend, because that was most certainly what anyone would do.

“Okay, I dunno where to go from here,” said Lily. “Lead the way.”

Remus and Lily ambled down a flight of winding stairs, leading into that familiar, wide hallway with scrumptious paintings lining the walls. They reached the fruit bowl painting, and Remus reached out to tickle the pear. It giggled and morphed into a door handle.

“How do you know about this?” gasped Lily.

“My friends, of course.”

 _Reach out_ , the voice in his head said. 

He pulled on the door handle and it swung open. The kitchen was bustling with house-elves all carrying pots and pans, climbing atop countertops to wash things until they were squeaky clean in the sink. A few whipped their heads around at the door opening, and they sighed in relief.

“Not a rabbit, Missy!” yelled one. A couple house-elves began to approach Remus and Lily, who stood still.

Immediately Remus felt guilty. They were still reacting like this to the Incident of the Flying Food, that had happened so long ago? Perhaps the prank had not been so glorious after all.

“Good!” snapped the house-elf Missy back. She was taller than most of the other house-elves around her. She seemed like the leader. “Whose is it?”

“Um, my name’s Remus Lupin, remember?” Remus said slowly to the group of house-elves that had amassed before them. “This is my friend Miss Evans.”

“Hellos to you, Mr Lupin and Miss Evans,” said one house-elf, bowing deeply. “Rooty, offer them some cakes.”

“Would you likes to eat some fruitcakes?” asked Rooty. Remus recognised him as Floggy. “They is freshly made!”

Remus thought it would impolite to refuse, so a second later a queue of house-elves came bearing a tray of fruitcake and tea. Remus and Lily sat silently and awkwardly, nibbling on their cakes and sipping on their tea, until Remus spoke up.

“Er. My friend Lily would like to ask you all a couple of questions. Is that all right?”

“Oh, yes, Tilly and we house-elves is being excited to answer questions!” one female house-elf said excitedly. “Yes?”

“Yes,” chorused a bunch of them.

“Why is this boy always coming here, asking us bizarre questions?” muttered Missy. Some house-elves turned to look at her, but none of them were looking at Remus. Lily had not reacted to this at all, which immediately struck Remus as odd. “Suspicious, if you ask me.”

“Of course. We is almost done cleaning anyway,” chirped one house-elf. It took Remus a second to realise that he was answering Remus’s question, and not responding to Missy. Why was this house-elf acting like Remus had not just heard what Missy had said? Again, this struck him as strange.

“Hello,” said Lily tremulously, brimming with excitement. “First, I’d like to ask if the rubbish bins are broken.”

“Oh, good, is she here on behalf of the staff?” muttered Missy angrily. “Are they finally going to fix the wastebaskets?” More house-elves turned to look at Missy nervously.

“Yes, they is broken,” answered Tilly.

“How do you know?” asked Lily politely.

“Why are they asking about bins? How inane!” spat Missy bitterly. “What’s the point? Why are they wasting our time?”

Lily now had clearly noticed by now, right? She was giving Remus an extremely perplexed look. Missy was  _incredibly_ blatant, to the point of rudeness.

“We house-elves is not just in the kitchens all the time, you see,” said Floggy. “Sometimes we is cleaning up the common rooms … clearing the classrooms … we is checking up on the pit ever so often—”

“—the pit is a very big, bottomless bin,” interjected Rooty excitedly.

Floggy nodded his large head. “Yes, Rooty is being correct. Last, we is checking on the pit, we is realising that no rubbish is going in it! We is too scared to mention it, though—”

“—we is remembering  _very_ clearly when we is telling Headmaster Dippet about the broken pipes,” said Tilly, her tiny body shuddering visibly.

The other house-elves murmured agreement.

“We is not speaking bad about our masters, remember?” snapped Missy.

“But we is not talking bad about our masters,” insisted Floggy quickly. “We is just thinking that it is better to keep quiet, you see? Better quiet and safe than speaking and unemployed.”

“I see,” said Lily, smiling. “Thank you.”

“He smells like  _rabbit_ ,” snarled Missy, glaring right at Remus. A few other house-elves looked back at her once more, including Floggy. One house-elf rolled his large glassy eyes.

Remus felt his shoulders stiffened.  _Bugger_. He had played with Ruby this morning. Could Missy have figured out who was behind the Incident of the Flying Food? He turned sideways to Lily to give her a panicked look, but she apparently had not heard.

“Do you have any idea about what the problem is, or how it could be fixed?” asked Lily.

“Hmm,” said Tilly. “We is thinking that it is clogged.”

“Yes, clogged,” agreed Rooty. “That is why rubbish is bouncing away. Must be something blocking it.”

“But we is not thinking of a way for it to be unclogged,” said Floggy regretfully. “If we is thinking of it, we would be doing it already.”

“Ah,” said Lily. Remus could imagine the gears in her brain whirring. “Thank you so much for answering.”

“You know what she smells like?” said Missy loudly, smirking. “Filthy Muggles, that’s what.”

This pushed Remus over the edge. He cleared his throat. “Excuse me, Missy. We can  _hear_ what you’re saying. I’m sorry that we’re intruding, we’ll be out of your hair in just a minute. But that’s no way to talk about someone, especially acting like they’re not  _there_.”

Rather than the snappish anger Remus had been expecting, Missy looked utterly shell-shocked. The other house-elves, too, looked incredibly frightened. Lily was also looking at Remus, bewildered.

After a few moment’s silence, Missy slowly said, “You can … understand?”

“Of course, I can,” said Remus, not knowing at all where this was going.

The group of house-elves gasped. Remus saw Tilly clutch the tea-cosy she wore with her spidery fingers so hard that her knuckles went white. Remus saw Floggy stagger back and collide with the leg of one of the large tables. Missy looked thunderstruck.

“A wizard boy that is learned in the language of house-elves?” gasped Tilly. “It is — it is impossible!”

“It is an ancient language,” Rooty said, eyes mistrustful, “one that no wizard can speak.”

“Where did you learn it?” demanded Missy. “Which house-elf taught you?”

Remus was just about to tell them he had no idea what they were talking about, when he suddenly realised that the language they were speaking, to his ears, was not broken English but rather …  _proper_ English.

“I-I don’t know,” stammered Remus. “I just …  _do_.”

Another round of gasps.

“He can speak it too,” yelled Floggy.

Remus was so, so confused. “I don’t — I don’t —”

“I think we should leave,” said Lily quickly, grabbing Remus’s arm and dragging him up and out. “Thank you very much for answering my questions! Goodbye.”

As soon as they were out, Lily turned on Remus, her green eyes extremely wide. “Remus, what in Helga’s name was that?”

“I don’t know,” he said earnestly.

Lily looked at him. Her eyes had narrowed into that suspicious look Sirius so often gave Remus nowadays.

“I’m … gonna go to lunch,” said Lily, turning away quickly and speeding up the staircase. She left Remus, gaping in that enormous hallway.

Was … was Lily onto Remus too?  _Salazar._  Salazar buggering Slytherin.

*

They had Defence Against the Dark Arts that next day. In just a week, it became a lesson that people dreaded because Professor Jewel was so unnecessarily cruel to everyone. Last week, he’d made everyone wait til long after the lesson was over for Peter to perfect his Smoke-Making Spell — “You learn it last year, you incompetent fool,” Professor Jewel had snapped — and the day after, he’d reprimanded Dorcas Meadowes for not knowing the difference between a banshee and a hag.

In fact, they’d gotten so used to Professor Jewel’s snappishness that, after Remus had staggered in late with Marlene McKinnon (they’d been at Gobstones Club), apologies bursting from their mouths, they were astonished to see the professor grinning.

“It’s fine, it’s perfectly fine, guys,” said Professor Jewel, laughing. “Come in, come in, quick.”

What the  _hell_? Remus glanced at James, Sirius, and Peter as he took his seat. They all shrugged back, equally at a loss for words. Why was Professor Jewel nice again? Had he been possessed that week ago?

Professor Jewel began to talk in his rapid-fire voice. “Today, we’re going to be talking about Grindylows — I’m sorry I couldn’t do it earlier, but I really thought the Disarming Charm and Tongue-Tying Curse were more impertinent to your learning. And let’s face it, you all know why we didn’t do it — I couldn’t actually  _find_ a Grindylow.”

The class tittered nervously, unsure after a week and a bit under Professor Jewel’s tyrannical rule. Were they allowed to laugh?

“Today, I have one and — oh, yes, Miss Evans?” Professor Jewel asked.

“Sir, I know it’s not really in the syllabus,” she said, “but could you explain what a Whisperer is?”

Professor Jewel blinked. “Oh. Sure! That’s a wonderful question. A Whisperer is similar to the Muggle term. It’s a wizard or witch born with the innate ability to communicate with different species, magical or not. It’s less that they speak and know all languages, more that the wizard comprehends things from bodily cues, facial expressions. Only species that trust the wizard directly speak to them.”

Remus felt his shoulders stiffen. No … this couldn’t—

“How do you become a Whisperer?” asked Peter.

Professor Jewel smiled. “Most wizards and witches have to be born with it. However, it can be the side-effect of some enchantments and diseases,” he said thoughtfully. “For example, vampirism … lycanthropy … in rare cases, dragon pox …”

 _Disease_. Remus had a disease. And it would make sense…

“Is it like being a Parselmouth?” asked Evan Rosier.

“Good question! Five points to Slytherin,” said Professor Jewel. “Not completely. Any person can mimic someone speaking Parseltongue, because it’s a language. Same with Shrivelspeak, Flowerjaw, et cetera. A Whisperer, on the other hand, cannot be copied. They can only understand or be understood.”

He could see Lily looking pointedly at him.

“In fact…” said Professor Jewel, smirking. “ _I’m_  a Whisperer.”

The class erupted into awed noises and gasps.

“Really?” asked Sirius.

“Yup,” said Professor Jewel. “Was born with it. Exciting, right? It took a while when I was growing up for the ability to really grow into it. Whenever I go into the Forbidden Forest to try and find creatures for class, they’re always speaking to me. In fact, this Grindylow I caught today has a  _very_ dirty mouth…”

The class burst into laughter.

But Remus couldn’t find it in him to laugh along. It  _did_ make sense, Remus realised … all the conversations with Ruby, the weird looks … the house-elves yesterday … and Archie, oh, Godric, Archie! Feeling like Archie could  _understand_ him … and at the very end, when he felt as if Archie could  _speak_ …! Oh, Godric.

Remus didn’t know how to feel. At all.

“Remus…” Lily said slowly after the lesson was over. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, though he wasn’t sure if he was being entirely truthful.

They walked side-by-side towards the Great Hall. “Oh, Remus, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude,” she said desperately. Her eyes looked dangerously close to crying. “I was just — I just wanted to know—”

“It’s fine,” insisted Remus honestly. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t be sorry.”

“Oh, okay,” she said. A few moment’s silence. “Well, isn’t it exciting!”

“What is?”

She laughed. “That you’re a  _Whisperer_ , Remus. Isn’t it obvious?

“Yeah,” said Remus.

He’d apparently sounded glum to Lily, who looked at him incredulously. “What do you mean, ‘yeah’? You should be thrilled! That’s a very rare gift. I’d be _exuberant_.”

“Oh, yeah, it is pretty cool, actually,” said Remus, who hadn’t really thought about it. It explained a lot, at least.

“Anyway,” said Lily, immediately changing topic. “Those house-elves. Not very useful, right? We’re back to square one about fixing that bottomless pit … I was thinking, may as well try that Blasting Spell, right? Or maybe…”

Remus rolled his eyes and snorted, but he listened along anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! :) I adore you all.


	30. Second Year: Hole-idays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Competition is fun,” drawled Regulus.

— CHAPTER TEN —

**_Hole-idays_ **

 

> _Dear Dad,_
> 
> _Yes, yes, of course I’m excited to come home for Christmas! And, of course I’ll be bringing Ruby home this holiday break. You know how much trouble she’s gotten in_ _…_ _I’ll tell you everything when I come home._
> 
> _Hey, you forgot to answer me about how the other rabbits are faring! How are they? I ask this every time but: how’s mum? Anything different? How are the Wandering Willows?_
> 
> _Looking forward to seeing you,_
> 
> _Remus._

 

Remus, after scanning the letter for the fifth time, decided it was a nice enough response to his father’s last letter and stuffed it into an envelope. Careful not to hurt the owl, he tied the letter with a thin bit of string to her leg. She was a tawny owl with huge, inquisitive eyes, blinking as Remus finally finished the knot.

“Thank you,” he told the owl as she began to take flight.

She chirped a polite, “No worries,” in response as she dipped out of the glass-less windows of the Owlery and out of view.

That little verbal exchange made Remus cringe. It seemed after that fateful lesson weeks ago where he’d learnt that he was a Whisperer, that he was now  _hyper-aware_ of the things animals said. He hadn’t gone back to the Hogwarts kitchens for fear of those house-elves, even after James had suggested a midnight snack run one night.

It was now so glaringly obvious. No wonder people were so weirded out when Remus had full-blown conversations with Ruby. That wasn’t normal! How could he mistake that for a normal owner-pet dynamic?

And he  _knew_ why he was a Whisperer. Professor Jewel had said it outright that lesson, and Remus had looked it up for himself: that people with diseases sometimes allowed them to become more in-tune with other species. Vampirism, Magic-Mouth Syndrome, Dragon Ears Disease, … and  _lycanthropy._

A draft blew into the room and Remus had to readjust his robes. The wind in the Owlery was harshly cold because of its lack of glass on its windows, exacerbated by the wintriness outside.

Lily was the only one who had figured it out, of course. (At least, Remus hoped; he couldn’t help but be wary of Sirius at  _all times_.) She kept making excited little quips like, “ _Ooh,_ can you  _read_ other languages, like Mermish?” An excited gasp. “You could do Ancient Runes, right?” she said, as if this were the most thrilling prospect in the world.

But most thankfully of all, Lily purely thought Remus had been born with the ability of a Whisperer. Like he was some special kid that had been blessed by the wizarding gods.

 _Pshh._ Yeah, right. Remus Lupin, special. Strange, yes. But special: no. What was so special about transforming into a monster every month, about a bloody beast ripping himself — no,  _itself_ — apart, with tooth and claw at its disposal? Was it so special to talk to rabbits and owls, if you had to trade your humanity for it?

Thank Godric Lily didn’t connect the dots. He’d let her think he was just blessed with the ability to Whisper, and that would be that.

He had to keep it a secret, though. Even from James and Peter, and  _especially_ from Sirius. If they knew Remus was a Whisperer … then they could discover that he was a werewolf. He was keeping so many things from his friends. Were they even really friends?

The other owls in the Owlery were hooting so loudly that Remus decided to leave, at least to be alone with his thoughts. To his surprise — Dismay? Excitement? — he could understand what the owls were hooting about.

“ _Italy_?” one owl was complaining. “Why did it have to be delivered all the way to  _Italy_?”

“If another one of those Dungbombs explode mid-delivery…”

Remus shivered, and it wasn’t because of the draft. His feet crunched against the hay as he left the Owlery.

He was so distracted that he bumped into someone on the way to Gryffindor Tower. Remus looked up, startled. It was Severus, oh, Godric.

“Oh, sorry,” Remus muttered, not making eye contact with the Slytherin boy, but—

“Remus! Hiya.” It was Lily, whose arm was wrapped around Severus’s shoulder. Severus was clutching the lower half of his face tight with a handkerchief, and Remus could see blood oozing from the fabric.

“Oh, Godric, are you all right?” Remus asked, eyes wide. “Is your nose bleeding?”

“Er, not really,” Lily answered for Severus. As if in response, Severus took in a deep breath and sneezed, a loud, shuddering sneeze that convulsed through his entire body.

Remus looked at Severus, the boy pale as bones and sick to the core, and at Lily, eyes frantic and arm around Severus’s shoulder, and was just about to say something when—

“Can we  _leave_ already?” snapped Severus.

“Yes, of course, of course,” said Lily hurriedly. “Bye Remus.”

*

“You guys can do it,” said Frank Longbottom encouragingly. “Just a bit closer…”

Remus’s eyes were trained on the hole in the ground. His Gobstones had gotten  _fairly_ close to the rim of the hole — as desired — but not as close as Marlene’s. Marlene, crouching next to Remus, also had her eyes, hidden behind large frames, narrowed in concentration.

They’d played the game until their last Gobstones, the most important of all: the Kingstone. Remus’s shoddy, malfunctioning Kingstone lay ready in his hand as he watched Marlene make a superb shot. Her own Kingstone was a royal purple and it rolled for a moment until it stopped maybe five centimetres from the hole.

That was good — to get the Kingstone was close as you could, was the more significant than any Serfstone.

Someone wolf-whistled. The game had attracted a small crowd, which consisted of Frank Longbottom, his sixth-year Ravenclaw friend, and, most surprisingly, Regulus Black and his friend Barty Crouch. Remus looked away from the game to see Regulus’s cold grey eyes, so similar to Remus’s.

“Focus…” Frank reminded Remus.

_Just a bit closer_ _…_

_Reach out_ , hissed the voice in Remus’s head.

The Kingstone in his hand felt heavy, heavier than usual. “You can do this,” Remus told himself in a low voice. “Just one more.”

_A little closer_ _…_

Bam. Remus’s thumb made a strategically light flick and the Kingstone barely flew. Frank seemed to hold his breath. Remus’s stone was rolling slowly on the floor, hitting one of Marlene’s out of the way. It continued its path down towards the hole.

_Just a little closer_ _…_

Frank literally gasped.

Remus’s Kingstone had knocked the Kingstone Marlene had  _just_ sent out — and sent it flying into the hole, making an  _oomph_ as it landed.

Marlene made a little sad noise.

Remus’s Kingstone teetered ever so slightly, almost falling in … but it didn’t. It stilled.

Frank and Ravenclaw girl burst into cheers as Marlene’s Kingstone flew into the air and spurted foul-smelling liquid into Marlene’s face: the end-of-game Globstone.

“That was really good Remus!” said Frank, grabbing Remus’s shoulder and rubbing his head affectionately. “You really have improved!”

“Better luck next time, Marlene,” the Ravenclaw girl said sympathetically, washing the gunk off with a flick of her wand.

“Wow.” Frank was breathless, staring straight into Remus’s face. “Wow, wow, good job.”

Remus was feeling breathless himself. Sure, the game had been tight, and he was glad he had won but … that reaction from Frank? Priceless. Remus felt a friendly warmness he often felt around Frank spread through his entire body.

“Right, I have to go say something to the club, but, again, good job!” said Frank kindly, giving Remus one more pat on the shoulder.

“Good game,” whispered Remus to Marlene.

“Yeah, good game,” sniffed Marlene.

“Hey, guys!” called Frank at the front of the classroom. He had unearthed from somewhere a shiny container similar to a thermos.

“Listen up, guys,” called someone.

Frank smiled. “Thank you, Marie. All right, everyone listening? I hope everyone has had fun this term in Gobstones club—”

“We have, we have!” yelled out the Club amidst joyful laughter.

“And since Christmas break is almost here, I’d like to make a very special announcement. As fun as it is to come to a classroom to play Gobstones every week,” Frank said, eliciting peals of laughter from the rest of the Club. “I know, cool, right? Well, I think we all know what most of you are here for. It’s  _this_  beauty …  _riiiight_ … Godric, where is it?”

Everyone giggled at Frank’s comical performance. He had reached inside the container, and to Remus’s surprise, kept reaching inside until his entire arm was inside. This didn’t make any sense to Remus, and nor did the golden trophy Frank finally unearthed from within the container. The trophy had to be at  _least_ twice as large as the container.

“The Golden Gobstones Cup!” said Frank proudly. It looked pretty nice, if Remus was being honest, but Remus wasn’t good enough to win it.

The Club  _ooh_ ’ed and  _aah_ ’ed half-jokingly, but Remus could see the excited glint in Regulus’s grey eyes, and the longing look plastered all over Marlene’s face.

“The annual Hogwarts Gobstones Cup will take place after the Christmas break,” said Frank, who looked as excited as James did when he talked about Quidditch. “As you all know, each and every round and its specific rules will have to be specifically decided between the two players. Which version will you play? Will it be Keepsies? Will you compete in this classroom, or out in the open? You decide!”

It was endearing how chuffed Frank was. It seemed to infect the rest of the Club, who applauded and cheered loudly.

“Anyone who would like to sign up please put your names down on this sheet,” Frank was saying. “If you don’t sign up today, you can always come up to me before the Christmas break; however, after that, I’ll be going home, so no more sign ups after that.

While Remus  _did_ want to join, he thought it would be silly. He wasn’t that good at Gobstones anyway. So, he avoided the sign-up sheet and watched instead as a good chunk of the Club flocked to add their names to the long list.

*

Sirius’s mood deteriorated the closer the Christmas break neared which was both a blessing and a curse. Of course, it was terrible that Sirius was feeling awful about having to go but Remus was secretly, selfishly glad that it had meant Sirius was no longer constantly on Remus’s heels. No more,  _where are you going_?  _Where were you_?

“You know,” one day Sirius said, the venom in his voice crystal clear, “my mother writes to Regulus. Not me. She’s never written to me. But I’ve seen him get letters at breakfast.”

“Oh. Really?” said Remus, unsure of what to say. He distracted himself for a bit with cutting dragonfly thoraxes for his Girding Potion. “That bollocks. I mean, that’s like favouritism, isn’t it?”

This was met with silence.

Remus looked up from his thoraxes. “Oh, I didn’t mean to assume or anything. Sorr—”

“No, don’t apologise,” said Sirius roughly. He was pointedly not meeting Remus’s eye. “I think you’re right.”

“Right,” said Remus awkwardly. “Sorry, though.”

“I said not to apologise,” sniffed Sirius, but he was gentler this time. “It just … it’s lame. I don’t want to go home.”

Never mind. Remus was not glad at all that Sirius’s mood had gotten worse. The whine in Sirius’s voice was enough to make Remus’s eyebrows knit together instinctively, to make the guilt that had been brewing in Remus’s chest explode.

It had been stupid of him to ever say that he was glad about it. Here, Sirius was, positively radiating hurt. You could see it in his pained eyes. Remus had seen a glimpse of Sirius’s family situation — when Remus had seen Mrs Black cast a Silencing Charm on Sirius. He still didn’t know what to do or say … the situation still made Remus uncomfortable, confused.

Should he say something? No, it was far too late.

Remus hesitated before patting Sirius awkwardly on the back. “It’ll be okay. It’s only two weeks.” He hoped his words, so short, so insignificant, could alleviate any sort of pain.

Sirius gave him a smile. It was small, but it was a smile nonetheless. And that was all Remus could ask for at a time like this.

*

“Remus!”

It was,  _kid you not_  — it was Regulus Black. He had called out Remus’s name from the end of a hallway and was marching towards Remus in a way that was both casual and imposing. The Gryffindor second yars had just had a lesson with Professor Jewel — he was back to being rude and cruel again, which was an awful way to end the first school term — so Remus was already feeling a bit emotionally vulnerable.

Remus almost jumped out of his skin. Why was he scared of this first-year? He didn’t know, but he knew that he  _was_. “Er, hi, Regulus.”

“You’re my brother’s friend, right?” His voice was annoyingly not as high as an eleven-year-old’s should be. In fact, it was almost deeper than Remus’s.

“Yes,” answered Remus. Dang it. Why did his voice sound so high?

Regulus gave a short bark of laughter. (Just like how Sirius does, Remus thought.) “Right. But you’re good at Gobstones, at least.”

“Thanks,” said Remus cautiously, unsure where this was going.

“Why isn’t your name on the sign-up list?” demanded Regulus. Clearly this was why he was here. “Did you forget?”

Remus scratched the back of his neck though it wasn’t itchy. “I just — er. I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if I was good enough.”

“We saw you play that Slytherin’s Pit today. You can improve obviously, but you should still sign up.”

“It’s too late,” said Remus.

“It’s  _not_ ,” insisted Regulus. “You can still find that, that Gryffindor prefect. Longbottom? Find him. Sign up.”

Remus’s mind was racing in all different directions. “Er, why do you  _want_ me to sign up?”

“Competition is fun,” drawled Regulus, and with that, he had turned on his heel and left Remus alone with his thoughts.

*

Finally, Christmas break arrived. Remus had not made a conscious effort to find Frank. Regulus would just have to have less fun, or whatever he had meant.

Hogwarts was wonderful during winter months, soft snow collecting on roofs, statues and the ground of the courtyard. Remus stared at the ice-blue sky dazzled by the powdery snow falling in clumps onto the grassy Hogwarts grounds.

“Oi, move it, Lupin,” laughed James, knocking his suitcase into the back of Remus’s knees. “Don’t wanna miss the train.”

“Where’s Ruby?” Remus was muttering. She had been in his robes  _just_ a few seconds ago— “Oi! Ruby,” Remus hissed, and then he stopped himself. He was making an effort not to speak to her directly in front of other people, so as not to evoke any suspicion that Remus was a Whisperer … because that could lead to suspicion about Remus being a werewolf.

“The snow!” said Ruby, who had leapt from Remus’s robes to roll around in the snow. She almost camouflaged with the snowy ground, and had it not been for her red eyes, Remus would have lost her. She shivered. “It’s so cowd.”  _Cold._

Remus rolled his eyes and snatched her up. He really hoped nobody had seen her, but he really doubted it.

“That rabbit,” said James, grinning. “She’s fun.”

“Don’t encourage her,” said Remus whilst stuffing her back in his robes.

“Where  _is_ everyone, by the way?” wondered James aloud. “Peter and Sirius should be out by now.”

As he said that, out came lumbering the groundskeeper Hagrid; Remus had to crane his neck in order to see the solemn expression on the gigantic man’s face. He was so large that he and his huge moleskin overcoat blocked the day’s sun.

“‘Ello, kids,” he said gruffly, a frown set into the lines of his face until a flicker of recognition crossed it. “Oh! Is tha’ yeh, James Potter? Remus Lupin?”

“Yes!” James said confidently.

“Righ’!” Hagrid leaned in, which was a feat for such a large man. “Look, I never got ‘round ter thanking yeh boys for stoppin’ that Wand’rin’ Willow from wand’rin’ righ’ inter my house.” He gave a hearty laugh.

“No worries,” said James, puffing out his chest. “We’re always here to help.”

Hagrid grinned. “Nice lads, yeh are.”

 _Reach out_ , the voice in his head told him. Yes, it  _would_ be nice to befriend Hagrid. He seemed like a very friendly fellow.

“Were you going to tell us something?” asked Remus politely.

“Oh, yeh, ‘course! Have the worst memory, I do.” Hagrid began patting the large couple of pockets stitched into his overcoat. “Righ’! Wai’, I put the ruddy paper away just then … ah! Here it is. Christmas visits ter home this year have been cancelled—”

“What the  _hell_ is that noise?” demanded James.

“What noise?” asked Remus, confused.

“Wha’ is tha’? Is tha’ a rabbi’?” demanded Hagrid, who had swivelled around and pointed far, far away.

Gasping, Remus realised, that  _yes, it was a rabbit_. He instinctively checked his robes, but of course, Ruby had leapt away once more. Godric, he really shouldn’t bring her outside at all. She was bounding away so fast that Remus half-wondered whether someone had cast, “ _Momentus_ ” on her once more. Her little paws dug into the soft blanket of snow covering all of Hogwarts as she bolted at full speed, ever so often twisting her tiny head around, staring at …  _something_. Remus had no idea what, but it was something distant.

Ruby’s figure was already disappearing.

“Ruby, Ruby!” Remus was yelling as he scrambled. Godric, why were winter clothes so heavy? He struggled to lumber and almost fell. “Ruby, come  _back_!”

 _Reach out_ , the voice in his head insisted. “I’m trying,” he moaned back. His arms were outstretched, but Ruby was far too fast and distant to snatch back up.

“Remus!” James shouted.

Remus could hear James following him, his boots slamming and crunching into the snow.

“Oi! Kids, yeh’re not allowed! Come back!” Hagrid bellowed. Remus looked back; James, of course, was already catching up to Remus, his athleticism evident by his Quidditch practices and games. However, Hagrid was lumbering at a far slower pace.

 _Good_ , Remus thought. He would catch Ruby first then deal with the consequences of his actions later.

“ _Ruby_! Where are you  _going_?”

She had darted far across the snowy Hogwarts grounds, and was now nearing the Forbidden Forest. The wind whipped at Remus’s face — now was  _really_ not a good time for there to be strong winds. How else was he going to catch up to Ruby?

She kept glancing back … was she scared of Remus? No, that didn’t make sense. Her escape had been so sudden. Something else had triggered it.

Finally, they caught up to Ruby, who had reached the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. “Ruby!” he panted. Remus scooped her up, and she was shaking hard, but Remus guessed it wasn’t entirely because of the cold. Nevertheless, he wrapped her up in the length of his robes as well as he could, gently rubbing her back. “It’s okay, it’s okay…”

“Remus…” James’s voice trailed off. “What the  _hell_ is that?”

Remus looked to where James’s long finger was pointed, and he almost staggered back in surprise. On the ground was a crater — in fact it looked exactly like the one in that hallway behind the painting of knights. The one that the Hogwarts teachers had covered up with a Notice-Me-Not Charm.

However, this time it seemed like Remus had gotten there earlier than the teachers. Far earlier. The crater in the ground of the forest floor, amidst layers of dirty snow and dead leaves, was smoking. Whatever magic had occurred, whatever spell had blasted the ground in the hole, it had happened recently. Perhaps even just minutes ago.

“Whoa, it’s deep!” said James, who had approached the crater in the ground. He was peering as close as he could. “Come, come, Lupin.”

 _Reach out_. Now, that’s a stupid idea, Remus told his brain.

Remus staggered over against the harsh current of the wind, and peered down. True to James’s word, it was  _very_ deep. Remus couldn’t hardly see the bottom, as it was so dark.

“D’you ever get the urge to dumb things?” asked James, grinning. “Like jump down there?”

“ _No_ ,” said Remus hurriedly, hoping to Godric James would not do something like that.

Suddenly Ruby was squirming again.

“Ruby, calm down!” hissed Remus, trying to keep her still.

Hagrid had finally caught up. He was panting heavily, and was wiping his huge, sweaty palms on his wide pants. “OI—! Oh, bugger, it’s the Wandr’n’ Willows.”

“What? Where?” demanded James.

At the same moment, James and Remus looked up. True to Hagrid’s word, there was a grove of the locomotive trees towering around them. They’d been so distracted by Ruby and the crater in the ground that they hadn’t seen them. Thankfully, the Wandering Willows seemed to be dormant.

“We bes’ get outta here before they wake up,” grumbled Hagrid. “And  _yeh_ bes’ listen to staff members if they tell yeh to do summat.”

“Sorry Hagrid,” Remus said sheepishly. “Next time, we’ll stop, but—”

Remus would have finished his sentence, had he not been forcibly thrown from his footing. So strongly had he been thrown, that he flew through the air and landed with an  _oomph_ on his butt, hugging Ruby protectively.

“Are — you — all — right—?” gasped Remus, who struggled to get onto his feet due to an unseeable violent force that pressed him down to the floor.  _Oh, Godric._ James had also tumbled through the snow beside Remus, yelping in pain. It couldn’t be—

“‘S the Wild Wind!” roared Hagrid, who hurled through the rapidly rushing gale to pick Remus and James up by their robes. “We hafta get to safety!”

Just their luck.

*

“Checkmate!” said Peter after he moved his little Queen. “I win, I win. Again!”

Remus smiled, though it was somewhat strained. (Okay, maybe it  _was_ a little annoying to see Peter so smug about winning a game of wizards’ chess, just like it was annoying when James couldn’t stop talking about his Quidditch skills. But then again, did it really matter? It was a good thing to see friends happy.)

In Remus’s lap was Ruby who was … more subdued than usual. She hadn’t and wouldn’t talk about what happened that day, so Remus was left wondering about what had happened for Ruby to freak so badly.

“Congrats, Pete,” said Remus. “You should join a wizards’ chess competition.”

Peter shrugged, then leaned in to murmur, “I would, but James and Sirius think it’s lame.”

Huh. So, Peter knew how it felt, a bit.

“Yeah, well, look who’s in the hospital wing, and look who’s not,” joked Remus, eliciting a genuine laugh from Peter.

“What are you lot laughing about?” demanded James from his hospital bed. He had a bandaged leg propped up against the edge of the bed. It had been injured from his fall, since he had been unlucky enough to land in a bad position those few days ago after they’d run after Ruby and experienced firsthand the violence of the Wild Wind. “It comes and goes,” James had said.

“Laughing about how we’re spending Christmas in the  _hospital wing_  of all places,” answered Remus.

Sirius, from his own bed, sniffed. He was here for an entirely other reason. That same day, whilst James and Remus had gone out of the castle, looking for the Hogwarts Express to go home for the break, Sirius had begun coughing. He had choked on too much of his own blood, and Peter had helped him to the hospital wing. Bottles of Pepper-Up that Madam Pomfrey had shoved onto him lined his bedside table. And that was how the half the Marauders ended up Christmas Day in hospital beds.

They’d exchanged Christmas presents earlier that day — or at least the Marauders minus Remus had exchanged presents. Remus felt his face go just as red as Ruby’s eyes because  _he hadn’t bought presents_. Salazar. He felt like a bad friend holding the box of chocolates Peter had given, a fashionable sort of sweater from James, and a brand-new book courtesy of Sirius.

“Lupin, mate. If it makes you feel better, you can share the chocolates,” said James, grinning widely and causing Sirius to chuck a pillow at his face.

Remus moved to sit beside Sirius, Ruby in his arms. “You sure you’re all right?” he murmured.

Sirius snorted. “Dunno why you’re whispering and all. I’m  _fine_. In fact, I’m super happy that the holiday break is cancelled!” His face split into a toothy grin. “I don’t have to go home! ‘Betcha my brother’s bawling his eyes out that he won’t get to see mummy.”

“Why  _are_ the holidays cancelled?” wondered Peter.

“Apparently, it’s ‘cause of the Wild Wind,” said James. “That’s what McGonagall told us.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Remus said automatically. “The Wild Wind — er,  _came_? Visited?— after they said holiday break was cancelled.”

“Maybe something was wrong with the train,” suggested Peter.

Sirius gave a bark of laughter, so similar to his brother. “We’re  _wizards_ , Peter. Someone would have fixed it by now. Something else is making them keep us here.”

And with that ominous note, the hospital wing door opened. The Marauders’ four heads whipped around to look. It was Frank Longbottom, hauling in a girl familiar to Remus. He looked anguished, so different from his usual grin. “Madam Pomfrey, Madam Pomfrey!”

“Oh, it’s Alice! The Keeper,” said James.

Alice Farley’s nose was bleeding profusely, but apart from that she looked fine. Madam Pomfrey rushed in and Frank anxiously explained what had happened — “I-I accidentally chucked a snowball at her face, I didn’t realise how much ice was packed into it, and she was already sick, and—”

“Oh, she’ll be fine, she’ll be fine, go sit over there,” Madam Pomfrey said dismissively, pointing him over to where Remus and Peter were. She ushered the bleeding Alice over someplace else to tend to her wound.

Frank, concern still playing on his face, failed to notice Remus. He shrugged off his thick winter jacket and brushed away bits of snow as he shuffled somewhere shamefully.

“Hey, Frank!” said Remus whilst dropping Ruby into Sirius’s arms. He hurried over to where Frank was.

Frank’s face lit up immediately (Remus wouldn’t admit it, but this made him feel really good.) “Hey, if it isn’t my star Gobstones player! All right, Remus?”

“All right,” said Remus, smiling. “B-But, how about you? You look so worried!”

“Ah, it’s just — I’m an idiot. Hitting my girlfriend in the face with a snowball…” Frank looked sheepish, and out from his coat pocket pulled out that magical flask from before. “Look,” he whispered conspiratorially, reaching his whole arm into it until he pulled out a wrapped Christmas gift. “I was meant to give this when we were back in Gryffindor Tower … Ugh. I’m an idiot.”

Remus was still stuck thinking about  _dang, Frank has a girlfriend_? Hence all he could think of to say was, “You’re not an idiot.”

“Aw, mate. You’re so cute,” Frank said, rubbing Remus’s hair. Remus became acutely aware of Sirius staring at this with narrowed eyes, probably wondering,  _How does Remus know that guy?_

“Hey, Frank. Wait. Can we talk over there?”

“Sure.”

They shuffled over a bit, closer to the door of the hospital wing. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus could’ve sworn Sirius was glaring warily at them.

“Do you still have space in the Gobstones competition?” asked Remus in hushed tones. “I-I know it’s probably too late to ask, since it’s already Christmas break but—”

“Of course, Remus!” said Frank, grinning. “How could I  _not_ let my best Gobstones player join! Oh, bugger, Alice is back.” Frank quickly dropped the gift back into the mouth of the flask, refastened the lid, and hurried over to his girlfriend.

Remus, for some reason, could not keep his eyes off the scene for a few moments. After shaking the stupor from his brain, Remus waltzed back to Sirius’s bed. James and Peter were talking amongst themselves, probably playing a game or something, but Sirius was staring suspiciously at Remus.

“What was that all about?” he asked.

“Drink your Pepper-Up potion,” Remus answered immediately, scooping up Ruby. And then something happened that made Remus almost drop her.

Ruby took in a shaky little breath, and then sneezed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter this time! I had a lot of fun with it. I hope you guys are all well.


	31. Second Year: Another Like Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor Jewel’s bushy eyebrow quirked up. He had evidently not been expecting anyone to volunteer. “Come up, then.”

— CHAPTER ELEVEN —

**_Another Like Him_ **

 

By holiday’s end Remus still had not gotten a letter from his father back, apart from Christmas cards and presents. Though this was slightly disappointing, Sirius cheered him up by saying, “Mate, don’t worry. The Wild Wind always messes up owl deliveries.”

True enough, the Wild Wind had been whipping around the Hogwarts grounds for a couple of weeks. It had blown away several of the vegetables in the garden near the greenhouses, and even awoken some Wandering Willows — though thankfully none of them had decided to wander close to the school.

“Yeah, with the way it’s been going recently, you’ll get a reply maybe next year if you’re lucky,” said James on the way to breakfast.

Another upsetting thing about not going home for the holidays was that Remus was unable to send Ruby back home to the rabbits and the Wandering Willow forest. Though a term ago, Ruby would’ve been thrilled at the prospect at having to stay longer, she merely purred weakly and stayed snuggled up in Remus’s bed for days on end. Remus felt his heart fall each time.

“Oh, great, our first lesson’s Defence,” said Sirius whilst pulling out his timetable from his robes. He had been let out of the hospital wing once more, Madam Pomfrey hesitantly prescribing different dosages of new potions. She’d made him promise to not spend too much time in the freezing cold.

“Great way to start the term,” remarked James, walking only with a slight limp. James’s leg had healed miraculously fast due to Madam Pomfrey’s tonics and spells, and Remus, not for the first time, marvelled at her fast work.

“Absolutely cracking,” sighed Peter, sinking into one of the seats at the Gryffindor table.

Personally, Remus thought there was something about Professor Jewel that Remus couldn’t put his finger on. Maybe if he thought a little harder…

“What’s are today’s bets, men?” asked James, sidling next to Peter. “Nice guy Jewel or absolute arse Jewel?”

“You know,” quipped Remus, “I’ll go out on a limb and say:  _in the middle_. He’ll still hark at Peter for getting a question wrong, but only take  _five_ points this time ‘stead of ten.”

James grinned appreciatively. “Wonderful suggestion. Oi, Sirius, pass the butter.”

“I don’t get questions wrong that much,” Peter was complaining.

Remus smiled, but he was worried he’d offended Peter. “I know. I was only joking.”

“Sirius. The butter,” repeated James.

Remus turned his head to look at Sirius, who was glowering at something in the distance — ah, no,  _someone_. Regulus Black, laughing with his friends, adorned in a thick black jumper. From their vantage point, they could see that on the breast of the jumper was a logo — the same one monogrammed on Sirius’s luggage, his family’s crest. From Sirius’s expression, clearly this had to be a Christmas present, one that Sirius had not received.

“Oh,” said James. “Sirius, mate—”

Remus exchanged an alarmed look with Peter. He, of course, had no idea how this would feel. He’d said it before, and he still didn’t. Of course, Remus knew what it was like to be on the outside, to not be included, but never particularly  _in favour_ of someone else. And never in such a blatant, purposeful way. This seemed like a direct attack on Sirius, and Remus, for the first time, rather than just feeling swirling confusion, felt an angry fire being lit in the pit of his stomach.

“It’s all right,” said Remus gently, unsure of what to say.

“It’s not,” said Sirius sharply. Remus flinched.

“It’s just a jumper,” said James.

“That’s not — that’s not the point,” snapped Sirius. Remus privately agreed but said nothing.

“I know it’s not,” said James firmly. “But, hey, look at it this way: do you  _really_ want a jumper from your witch of a mum?”

Sirius seemed to think about it for a few moments, before the crease in his eyebrows softened. “I guess not.”

“Actually, nah. I reckon that house-elf of yours knitted that sweater with his creepy little fingers,” said James, shuddering dramatically.

The corners of Sirius’s mouth twitched. “He does have pretty creepy fingers.”

“Plus,” added Peter slowly, “it’s got your  _family crest_ on it for all the world to see. Don’t you reckon that’s a bit poncey?”

“Very poncey,” said Remus.

“The ponciest,” confirmed James, shaking his head. “I am  _quaking_  at the level of ponciness—”

“All right, shut up,” said Sirius, but he had begun to smile again, and he was laughing as he and James began to play fight.

Remus was impressed with James’s ability to cheer up Sirius in a matter of minutes. Maybe he was even a little jealous. James was so …  _good_ at this sort of stuff. Remus’s eyes never left Sirius as he ceased the fighting to chuck away a wad of snotty tissues in a waste basket.

“G’morning, Remus,” said Lily, taking a seat beside him. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

 _It’s because you’ve been hanging out so much with_ Severus, thought Remus. It was true; Remus had seen them together quite often in the past few weeks. Severus had also become a regular in the hospital wing due to chronic nosebleeds, making Sirius and James’s exit all the more relieving.

“G’morning, Lily,” he said to her. Suddenly she gasped; her wide green eyes stared at her watch.

“No,  _not_ good morning,” said Lily hurriedly, stuffing a piece of toast in her mouth. “It’s already first period. Let’s go!”

“You are the  _only_ person I know who gets excited from going to class,” Remus said to Lily, smiling.

Beside Remus, Sirius snorted. “You sure? Think you’re being a bit of a hypocrite, Remus.”

Usually, Remus would have rolled his eyes or formed some other joking, derisive reaction to Sirius’s comment. But Remus’s eyes had danced over to Lily — and she looked suddenly closed off; her shoulders drooped, her head looked away, as if what Remus had said had forced her to retreat into a shell. Surely enough, she said nothing else as she scurried off to class ahead of them.

 _Bugger_. Had Remus said something wrong? Oh, Godric, why did Remus mess things up so often? As Remus watched Lily’s fleeting figure, he sighed. This was why Remus should keep his mouth shut, why he should guard his thoughts and words close to his chest. This was why Remus had to keep all these things from the people around him. Maybe then he’d stop being such an utter, utter failure.

*

Remus had a suspicion, and it nagged at him the entire Defence lesson, and even after. Remus’s prediction about how friendly Professor Jewel decided to be today was incorrect. He seemed all right today, but he was a bit twitchy, and kept nervously looking back and forth, as if afraid something was going to attack him at any moment. But he offhandedly let them do some reading up on the Tickling Charm and its uses in fighting, and that was that. Remus’s eyes kept glancing back to Professor Jewel that entire lesson, and the lessons after that too.

One History of Magic lesson, Remus’s eyes trailed over to Sirius, who was hurling rubbish into the waste bin at the corner of the class. Remus rolled his eyes once he realised that Sirius and James were trying to see how far away they could chuck it, and tittering whenever they missed.

“Oh, wait, Lily I have to tell you something!” hissed Remus over Professor Binns’s monotonous drone.

The image of the waste basket had reminded him of the bottomless pit, which reminded him of that hole in the hallway behind the portrait of knights. He regaled to Lily in a whisper about how he and James had stumbled upon one of those craters before the holidays began. Remus, though he wasn’t that interested in these strange holes, knew Lily would be.

Sure enough, her green eyes went wide, her quill falling from her fingertips.

“Remus,  _that’s it_! That’s why we had to stay at school ‘stead of going home for the break — someone’s going around blasting holes in the ground. I reckon the teachers are terrified.”

Remus hummed. “But for what? To scare people?”

“I think so,” said Lily slowly. “What else?”

He shrugged. What did Remus know?

As the full moon neared, Remus’s arms began to twitch ever so often. He felt the itchiness rise up all over his limbs as the moon got fuller and fuller each night, but he tried his best not to let it show, lest Sirius see and put two and two together.

One day, after a particularly gruelling lesson with Professor Jewel, who snapped at them every time someone made even a peep (again, this piqued Remus’s suspicions) the Marauders went to dinner. Frank enthusiastically came up to Remus to tell him about his first Gobstones Cup game, and Remus had to quickly usher him away, so the other Marauders didn’t catch notice.

Remus’s first round of the Gobstones tournament was to occur on a Saturday morning. Last Gobstones Club meeting he and a Hufflepuff boy named Ryan Singh had decided on a classic Ravenclaw’s Round, no Keepsies. Unfortunately, this coincided with a Quidditch practice that James had specifically wanted the Marauders to come and watch, because James had a new broomstick trick he wanted to show off or whatnot.

“C’mon,” begged James the night before, in their dorm.

Peter, who was seating next to James on the floor, nodded.

James added, “Even Sirius is coming, and he  _hates_ Quidditch.”

“Oi, I do not!” Sirius pouted, both his arms and legs crossed.

“Only pulling your leg.” James, grinning, shifted over on the floor and slung an affectionate arm around Sirius’s shoulders. “But, yeah, Lupin,  _c’mon_.”

Remus shrugged and absent-mindedly caressed Ruby’s head. “I’m really sorry James, but I have to study in the library. I’m behind on Potions.” (This wasn’t true. Remus was hardly ever behind on anything. With friends like James and Sirius who were automatically good at everything, you had to  _work_ hard in school.)

“With who?” interjected Sirius instantly.

Remus stared at him for a split second too long. “Lily.”

Sirius’s mouth twisted to the side and his eyebrows furrowed. There was a tense silence before Peter broke it by saying:

“Well, I guess Remus can’t come.” Peter looked mildly sad, which oddly pleased Remus.

“Lame,” said Sirius offhandedly, but there was a glint in his eye.

“Oh,  _Remus_ ,” cooed James dramatically, looping his free arm around Remus’s shoulders, so that he now had both Sirius and Remus in his arms. “What ever will we do without our biggest Quidditch fanatic—?”

“Hey, ‘ _fanatic_.’ That’s a big word, James,” teased Remus, attempting to unloop himself from James’s grasp.

Sirius barked with laughter, reaching out to tickle Remus. “So mean, Lupin!”

Remus smirked. “Yeah? I’m the mean one?”

“ _Duh_.”

“Guys,” said James, gasping. “I think Pete’s feeling left out of our Marauder group hug. C’mon, Pete, you can’t escape us.”

And then suddenly they were all laughing and tackling one another, and Remus obviously knew that it was super poofy to think so but: wow. Remus  _loved_ having friends. He loved how it pulled his lips into a smile. He loved feeling like he belonged. However, a pervading sting began to creep up his forearms.

“All right, all right, stop,” Remus said, finally escaping James’s grasp. “I have to brush my teeth. Pete, could you take Ruby for a bit please?”

“‘Course,” murmured Peter, taking the calm little rabbit in his lap.

“Quiet now, isn’t she?” remarked James, peering at Ruby.

“Yeah,” said Remus, scratching the back of his neck. “Dunno what happened.”

Remus staggered over to the bathroom, and immediately splashed the cool sink water in his face. The itchiness was getting worse each month. For once Remus couldn’t help but yearn for the full moon to come, just to end his monthly agitation.

“You all right?” asked Sirius from the door.

Remus started and then sighed in relief. “You scared me. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Remus, can we talk?” asked Sirius abruptly.

Remus had been dreading this. Each and every time Sirius confronted him, Remus felt the threads of his friendship slip away. What would it be this time? Gobstones Club? His visits to his mother slash cousin slash unnamed relative? Remus was playing a  _seriously_ dangerous game (of Gobstones!) by joining the Gobstones Club — each time Sirius asked an interrogative question, pointed out a flaw in Remus’s story, Remus felt his metaphorical Kingstone teeter closer and closer to the edge of a pit.

“Of course,” said Remus, but he wasn’t looking at Sirius. He was only looking at his face in the reflection of the mirror. Remus rarely looked in mirrors. Wow, that jagged scar at his chin from so many moons ago — was that really still there? Hey, his dirty blonde hair was getting way too long. He really needed to get more sleep, because the circles around his eyes were getting darker and darker. And, if you looked quite closely, Remus had begun to resemble his father.

“You can tell me anything, yeah?”

Remus gulped. “All right.”

Sirius’s face contorted. “That was your cue to tell me what you’ve been hiding, mate.”

“Sirius, I’m not hiding anything,” said Remus, finally turning around to face Sirius. “Okay? Stop asking, please.”

Sirius’s mouth twisted to the side, but then he huffed in defeat. “All right. If you say so. ‘S’long as you’re all right, yeah?”

“Yeah,” coughed Remus, feeling sort of cosy inside.

“All right.”

“All right.”

“ _All right_ ,” insisted Sirius, then his face broke out into a smile, which Remus couldn’t help but return. Hopefully, Remus thought, that was  _that_.

*

The day of the full moon had arrived. Remus, though agitated and slightly snappy, managed to calm himself down eventually just in time for first period Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Remus’s eye was trained solely on Professor Jewel from the outset of the lesson, from the first idle wave of Professor Jewel’s short wand to the furrow of his thick eyebrows.

“Kids,” snapped Professor Jewel lazily, and the class shut up. “Today, we’ll be practicing the Full-Body Bind Curse. Any volunteers? No? Do I really have to pick one of you?”

“Definitely arsehole Professor Jewel today,” sighed Sirius quietly, causing Peter to snicker.

Remus, far from the resigned acquiescence of the rest of the class, was thrilled. His theory seemed to be getting righter and righter by the second.

His hand shot up in the air, quivering with excitement.

Professor Jewel’s bushy eyebrow quirked up. He had evidently not been expecting anyone to volunteer. “Come up, then.”

Remus was almost too fast at pulling out his chair and scrambling towards the front of the classroom.

“Swot,” hissed Sirius, smirking, but nothing could dampen Remus’s grin.

“The incantation is:  _Petrificus Totalus_ ,” said Professor Jewel, his wand dangling precariously between his fingers. “Repeat after me.  _Petrificus Totalus_. Louder!”

Remus was thrumming. He couldn’t stop the excitement building up in his chest.

“All right,” said Professor Jewel. “You ready, kid?”

“Yes!” said Remus, hoping he didn’t sound  _too_ enthusiastic.

Remus watched every little movement of Professor Jewel’s with bated breath. He watched every twitch of the eyebrow, every movement of his mouth; Remus couldn’t help the grin building on his face. He watched Professor Jewel raise his arm, the sleeve of the robe falling down to reveal muscular biceps, uncharacteristically large for a man so skinny.

He watched Professor Jewel’s ears twitch. He watched Professor Jewel’s mouth open to cast the spell, revealing perhaps slightly pointy teeth. He watched as Professor Jewel’s blue eyes revealed something almost …  _primal_  within.

Because why would someone defend the beasts of the wizarding world so devoutly? Why would someone promise that these purported beasts were not truly dark? Why would someone have the gift of being able to Whisper to the other species of the world? And why would someone so kind sometimes be so cruel at other, specific times?

“ _Petrificus Totalus_!” said Professor Jewel in his booming voice.

Remus felt his limbs snap together immediately, felt his control over his body disappear in a split second. He felt his body fall, felt it bang against the hard classroom floor. Remus’s body was so still, so immoveable, but the heart in his chest beat faster like it had been the target of a Speeding Up Charm. Nothing could remove the smile on Remus’s lips; nothing could stamp out the warmth spreading in his chest, the sense of belonging that drowned out any itchiness at all.

Because well, it was clear as day, wasn’t it? Professor Jewel was a werewolf, just like him.


End file.
